“How is he?” Ethan asked as Jonah joined him on the couch.
“Fine so he says,” his bottom lip trembled.
“Aw honey,” Ethan put an arm around him holding him close. “He’s going to be alright” He could feel Jonah shivering in his arms. He could only guess the memories that this event had brought up from his past. The worst thing was there wasn’t much he could to help. “Would you like something to eat? Drink?” he asked offering things he knew he could do even though both he and Eli had declined his offer to eat anything on their way home.
“Just hold me,” was Jonah’s low pensive request. “I need to feel your arms around me. Holding me.”
Squeezing him tight, he stroked his fingers through Jonah’s hair. He could feel Jonah’s body relaxing in his harms as his breathing slowed growing heavy. Smiling when he heard a soft purr like sound as Jonah drifted off to sleep in his arms. Lifting his husband carefully in his arms he started to carry him to their bedroom.
At the slight shift Jonah opened his eyes peering up into Ethan’s face “I love you.”
Setting him on the bed Ethan helped him undress for bed much like he would one of the kids. “I love you too,” he said quickly, undressing himself and sliding in beside Jonah. “You’ll be ok and I promise so will Eli.” He watched over Jonah until he drifted off to sleep murmuring in his dreams, holding him tight when he seemed to be having nightmares until he too drifted off to sleep.
The following morning Jonah woke up early, stomach gurgling protesting the lack of food from the night before. Slipping from Ethan’s embrace he got up. The room spun around him, bile rose like he had an undiscovered volcano inside him. Clamping a hand over his mouth he ran for the bathroom. Hugging the toilet he heaved until his stomach hurt. He felt cold and clammy, moaning in abject misery.
“Are you sure you’re not pregnant,” Ethan asked, handing him a glass of water.
Rinsing his mouth out he replied “I took a test…”
“Yeah but…” handing him an unopened test “would you mind taking another? The pharmacist said it’s possible the first test was a false negative. It’s fairly common in male pregnancies, he said.”
Taking the test, Jonah asked “when did you get this?”
“When I stopped to get something to eat yesterday on our way home,” he explained “if this comes out negative too I’ll stop asking.”
Opening the box he noticed that Ethan was still standing there “I’ll take it. You don’t have to watch.”
“I don’t want to miss anything this time around,” he said, taking the empty box when Jonah held it out to him.
“I’m literally going to pee on a stick” he grumbled “you’re not missing much unless you want to do it for me.”
“I would if I thought I was pregnant but I’m not built for babies,” he chuckled softly at the face Jonah gave him. “This time I’m going to be up front and center like I should have been for the others.”
Jonah’s momentary irritation melted at Ethan’s words “you didn’t miss much of anything with Jolene and you don’t have to feel guilty about Eli. That was as much my fault as yours.” Feeling somewhat self-conscious having Ethan watch him take the test he finished saying “now we wait.” Watching Ethan pace while they waited for the results he said “you’re hoping it’ll be positive aren’t you?”
“I am,” he gave Jonah a boyish grin laughing a little.
“Then I hope you get your wish,” he said holding the test up “it’s time to find out.” He felt Ethan move in so he could read the results too. His heart beating fast “positive.” Not quite believing it he looked again “OMG I really am pregnant.”
“I told you,” Ethan cried, lifting him up and spinning him around. Setting him down he met Jonah’s lips in a kiss “I can’t wait to meet them.” he said, putting his hands on Jonah’s stomach.
“Why do I have to go to a new school?” he asked from where he stood reluctant to get in the car. He glanced away afraid to see how his question was received. It would have been safer if he had kept his mouth shut. His need for answers made him willing to push the limits of his father’s patience.
“Boy you live with me now,” the man grumbled leaning against the car. “It’s not up to you to question my decisions. You go where I say you go.”
“Why can’t I live with Mom,” it slipped out before he could stop the words from escaping. His father’s reaction was just as quick. His head snapped to the side, his cheek radiating heat where it had been slapped. Tears stung his eyes but he refused to cry. Crying would only make things worse.
“Boy you better not let me catch you crying.”
Turning towards the car, Awan met his father’s glare with one of his own. “I’m not crying,” his voice was thick with the effort to hold his tears in check. Looking away mumbling “why do you hate me so much? Why take me if you don’t want me?”
“Don’t you talk back to me,” his father snapped opening the car door “look at me when I’m talking to you.”
Sighing he faced his father “yes sir,” he mumbled wondering what would happen next.
“I’m going to learn ya how to be a normal kid,” his father’s voice boomed loud in the small confines of the car. “No more voodoo for you. You’re not to tell anyone about doing magic. You’re not to talk about it or your mother. You understand me boy?”
“Yes sir,” his voice all but swallowed up by the hatred he felt pressing in around him making him want to sink inside the car seat and disappear
“Good,” his father’s smile looked more like a grimace as he turned back towards the front. “We’ll get along well then. As long as you remember no magic.”
“What’s wrong with magic and my mother?” The question was out before he could think twice. If he had he’d never would have asked it. But he really didn’t understand. It was something that was a part of him, a part of her. It was who they were. The screech of the tires as the brakes were pressed to the floor warned him he had pressed his luck too far. His father’s patience had run out and the slap he received moments before was going to look like a love tap compared to what he had coming to him. His father pulled off the road, for a fleeting moment Awan wondered if he should run for it. The moment passed as he was dragged from the car, the leather belt his father usually wore folded in half in his hands. He knew what was going to happen before the leather belt ever touched him.
“Don’t ever ask me that again,” his father shouted, shaking him until Awan thought his teeth would fall out or shatter from the impact. “You understand me boy? Don’t ever question me again. Not where your mother is concerned. She’s dead to you boy. You’ll never see her again and you’ll never talk about her again.”
The rest of the trip was long and silent. Awan had no idea where he was or where they were going. All he knew was the life he knew was gone and all he had was the monster in the front seat. His stomach growled. He hadn’t eaten since the night before and he didn’t dare ask for anything. He guessed he’d eat if and when the monster decided he could. The loud crunching from the front seat told him that any hopes of food would have to wait.
Closing his eyes he tried to pretend he was floating on a cloud, after a while he managed to fall asleep. Images of his mother’s smiling face telling him how much she loved her little man and she would find him no matter where he was. All he had to do was be brave but being brave was harder than he thought it’d be. It wasn’t daring and fun, it was scary and lonely.
Awan’s first day of school was … boring. He hated the pretentious teachers who talked down to him because he wasn’t as good as they expected him to be. Was it his fault that his father lied about his abilities or lack thereof? He kept his mouth shut knowing one slip of the tongue, one phone call to his father could put an end to what little freedom he had. Shivering despite the heat and long sleeves he was wearing. He did not need anymore little reminders of what his father would do to him.
He wandered outside to the playground. His attention drawn to a small group of friends huddled together on the ground not far away from where he sat alone. Their smiling faces and occasional laughter making him homesick for the friends he’d been forced to leave behind. He wondered if they were discussing what they were going to do after school. It made him feel even more alone than he already was. His eyes drifted towards the boy with the large green eyes. He seemed to have an inner glow, a happiness that most people lacked. Without realizing it he had drifted closer to the happy little group, drawn to their happy faces and laughter.
Like storm clouds hiding the sun their faces lost their smiles and he wondered if they sensed he was watching them. Maybe they even felt the badness his father said he possessed, an evil stench his father said he needed to beat out of him. Shoving his hands in his pockets he started to turn away.
“This is my spot,” a loud angry voice growled, jarring Awan from his thoughts “leave.”
“Go away Stephon. We were here first,” Tara said standing up to face him.
“Make me,” he sneered down his nose at her.
“Gladly,” Reed stood up, hands balled into fists.
“Hold it guys,” Eli looked between his friends “we’ll find another place to talk. No big deal. If he wants this spot he can have it.” He moved to get up and let Stephon have this patch of grass they had gathered on.
“Who said I wanted this spot,” he demanded “it’s contaminated now.”
“Then leave us alone,” Tara said a hopeful gleam in her eyes.
Ignoring her Stephon kept his eyes on Eli. “My dad says you’re not normal. Normal kids have a dad and a mom. You only have two dads which makes you abnormal.”
Shaking a little Eli looked into Stephon’s eyes “my daddy said families come in all shapes and sizes. It doesn’t matter if you have only one dad or two as long as there’s love.” He held his breath wondering what Stephon would do or say next.
“Who says I’m not loved?” Stephan cried stepping closer, pushing Eli forcing him several steps backwards.
Frowning Eli looked towards Reed and Tara confused how Stephon jumped to the conclusion he thought he wasn’t loved. “I never said….”
“Yes you did,” he insisted “my dad gives me everything I want.”
“Love is more than getting things. My daddy says it’s a feeling that no matter what you’re safe and warm, like being home.” The look on Stephon’s face sent a shiver down his spine. What had he said that was so bad? He closed his eyes, sure he was about to be pummeled.
“Leave him alone,” someone said coming between him and Stephon Opening his eyes Eli found a kid he’d never seen before protecting him. Even more astonishing than that was the fact that Stephon was lying on the ground a bewildered expression on his face.
Standing Stephon brushed the dirt from his clothes. Turning to Eli “this isn’t over,” he threatened “you better make sure your bodyguard is watching your back because I’m going to get you.” With one final glare at Eli he stomped off towards the swings where his sister was talking with her friends who fled in his wake.
“Thank you,” Eli stammered “I thought I was a goner for sure this time.”
“Is he always like that?” Awan asked looking over his shoulder where Stephon stood glaring at them.
“Pretty much,” Tara said, holding her hand out “I’m Tara. Want to be part of our group?”
“Group?”
“Yeah,” Reed nodded “Eli needs a bodyguard and I need my hands to play the drums.”
“I don’t need a bodyguard but I wouldn’t mind another friend,” Eli grinned at the new kid “so you want to be our friend?”
“Sure,” he grinned back “I’m Awan.”
“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Eli,” he said “and if you want, you can be part of rock band too. We’re going to be rock stars.”
“Cool,” he chuckled, glad he had followed his instincts. There was something special about this green eyed boy and he could feel his mother’s approval even though she wasn’t even there. For the first time he wondered if this was why he’d been taken from his home and forced to come here. His mother always said there was a reason for everything and maybe this was his.
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