#reed cross

[dandylion240]

Neon Pill

[thejewellerybox]

St Brigid's Reed Cross necklace by Martina Hamilton

"A representation in sterling silver of the beauty of the reeds woven together each Spring to honour St. Brigid. The 1st of February marks the first day of spring, and is also known as Lá Fhéile Bhríde, Saint Brigid's Feast Day. However this gorgeous and special piece is worn year round as a symbol of love and protection. In ancient Irish mythology, Brigid was a fire goddess, and the feast day is also known as the Celtic celebration Imbolc."

[des-dabbles]

I would love a sim if you still have openings. Cc is fine. Maxis mix is perfect. Any gender. It could be YA but will start in game as a child. They will be best friends with Eli when he starts school and will later start band together. There will be the chance of a love connection with one of my lil Reagan’s. So they will be included in the story.

Hey Debbie! How ya doing?

Meet Reed Cross. I went ahead and made him a YA. He’s got some traits (and I probably sound like a broken record) and feel free to change them up to suit what you have in mind. I hope you like him and he’s works for what you have in mind.

Private Download.

[dandylion240]

“How is he?” Ethan asked as Jonah joined him on the couch.

“Fine so he says,” his bottom lip trembled.

“Aw honey,” Ethan put an arm around him holding him close. “He’s going to be alright” He could feel Jonah shivering in his arms. He could only guess the memories that this event had brought up from his past. The worst thing was there wasn’t much he could to help. “Would you like something to eat? Drink?” he asked offering things he knew he could do even though both he and Eli had declined his offer to eat anything on their way home.

“Just hold me,” was Jonah’s low pensive request. “I need to feel your arms around me. Holding me.”

Squeezing him tight, he stroked his fingers through Jonah’s hair. He could feel Jonah’s body relaxing in his harms as his breathing slowed growing  heavy. Smiling when he heard a soft purr like sound as Jonah drifted off to sleep in his arms. Lifting his husband carefully in his arms he started to carry him to their bedroom. 

At the slight shift Jonah opened his eyes peering up into Ethan’s face “I love you.”

Setting him on the bed Ethan helped him undress for bed much like he would one of the kids. “I love you too,” he said quickly, undressing himself and sliding in beside Jonah. “You’ll be ok and I promise so will Eli.” He watched over Jonah until he drifted off to sleep murmuring in his dreams, holding him tight when he seemed to be having nightmares until he too drifted off to sleep.

The following morning Jonah woke up early, stomach gurgling protesting the lack of food from the night before. Slipping from Ethan’s embrace he got up. The room spun around him, bile rose like he had an undiscovered volcano inside him. Clamping a hand over his mouth he ran for the bathroom. Hugging the toilet he heaved until his stomach hurt. He felt cold and clammy, moaning in abject misery.

“Are you sure you’re not pregnant,” Ethan asked, handing him a glass of water.

Rinsing  his mouth out he replied “I took a test…”

“Yeah but…” handing him an unopened test “would you mind taking another? The pharmacist said it’s possible the first test was a false negative. It’s fairly common in male pregnancies, he said.”

Taking the test, Jonah asked “when did you get this?”

“When I stopped to get something to eat yesterday on our way home,” he explained “if this comes out negative too I’ll stop asking.”

Opening the box he noticed that Ethan was still standing there “I’ll take it. You don’t have to watch.”

“I don’t want to miss anything this time around,” he said, taking the empty box when Jonah held it out to him.

“I’m literally going to pee on a stick” he grumbled “you’re not missing much unless you want to do it for me.”

“I would if I thought I was pregnant but I’m not built for babies,” he chuckled softly at the face Jonah gave him. “This time I’m going to be up front and center like I should have been for the others.”

Jonah’s momentary irritation melted at Ethan’s words “you didn’t miss much of anything with Jolene and you don’t have to feel guilty about Eli. That was as much my fault as yours.” Feeling somewhat self-conscious having Ethan watch him take the test he finished saying “now we wait.” Watching Ethan pace while they waited for the results he said “you’re hoping it’ll be positive aren’t you?”

“I am,” he gave Jonah a boyish grin laughing a little.

“Then I hope you get your wish,” he said holding the test up “it’s time to find out.” He felt Ethan move in so he could read the results too. His heart beating fast “positive.” Not quite believing it he looked again “OMG I really am pregnant.”

“I told you,” Ethan cried, lifting him up and spinning him around. Setting him down he met Jonah’s lips in a kiss “I can’t wait to meet them.” he said, putting his hands on Jonah’s stomach.

“Why do I have to go to a new school?” he asked from where he stood reluctant to get in the car. He glanced away afraid to see how his question was received. It would have been safer if he had kept his mouth shut. His need for answers made him willing to push the limits of his father’s patience.

“Boy you live with me now,” the man grumbled leaning against the car. “It’s not up to you to question my decisions. You go where I say you go.”

“Why can’t I live with Mom,” it slipped out before he could stop the words from escaping. His father’s reaction was just as quick. His head snapped to the side, his cheek radiating heat where it had been slapped. Tears stung his eyes but he refused to cry. Crying would only make things worse.

“Boy you better not let me catch you crying.”

Turning towards the car, Awan met his father’s glare with one of his own. “I’m not crying,” his voice was thick with the effort to hold his tears in check. Looking away mumbling “why do you hate me so much? Why take me if you don’t want me?”

“Don’t you talk back to me,” his father snapped opening the car door “look at me when I’m talking to you.”

Sighing he faced his father “yes sir,” he mumbled wondering what would happen next.

“I’m going to learn ya how to be a normal kid,” his father’s voice boomed loud in the small confines of the car. “No more voodoo for you. You’re not to tell anyone about doing magic. You’re not to talk about it or your mother. You understand me boy?”

“Yes sir,” his voice all but swallowed up by the hatred he felt pressing in around him making him want to sink inside the car seat and disappear

“Good,” his father’s smile looked more like a grimace as he turned back towards the front. “We’ll get along well then. As long as you remember no magic.”

“What’s wrong with magic and my mother?” The question was out before he could think twice. If he had he’d never would have asked it. But he really didn’t understand. It was something that was a part of him, a part of her. It was who they were. The screech of the tires as the brakes were pressed to the floor warned him he had pressed his luck too far. His father’s patience had run out and the slap he received moments before was going to look like a love tap compared to what he had coming to him.  His father pulled off the road, for a fleeting moment Awan wondered if he should run for it. The moment passed as he was dragged from the car, the leather belt his father usually wore folded in half in his hands. He knew what was going to happen before the leather belt ever touched him.

“Don’t ever ask me that again,” his father shouted, shaking him until Awan thought his teeth would fall out or shatter from the impact. “You understand me boy? Don’t ever question me again. Not where your mother is concerned. She’s dead to you boy. You’ll never see her again and you’ll never talk about her again.”

The rest of the trip was long and silent. Awan had no idea where he was or where they were going. All he knew was the life he knew was gone and all he had was the monster in the front seat. His stomach growled. He hadn’t eaten since the night before and he didn’t dare ask for anything. He guessed he’d eat if and when the monster decided he could. The loud crunching from the front seat told him that any hopes of food would have to wait.

Closing his eyes he tried to pretend he was floating on a cloud, after a while he managed to fall asleep. Images of his mother’s smiling face telling him how much she loved her little man and she would find him no matter where he was. All he had to do was be brave but being brave was harder than he thought it’d be. It wasn’t daring and fun, it was scary and lonely.

Awan’s first day of school was … boring. He hated the pretentious teachers who talked down to him because he wasn’t as good as they expected him to be. Was it his fault that his father lied about his abilities or lack thereof? He kept his mouth shut knowing one slip of the tongue, one phone call to his father could put an end to what little freedom he had. Shivering despite the heat and long sleeves he was wearing. He did not need anymore little reminders of what his father would do to him.

He wandered outside to the playground. His attention drawn to a small group of friends huddled together on the ground not far away from where he sat alone. Their smiling faces and occasional laughter making him homesick for the friends he’d been forced to leave behind. He wondered if they were discussing what they were going to do after school. It made him feel even more alone than he already was. His eyes drifted towards the boy with the large green eyes. He seemed to have an inner glow, a happiness that most people lacked. Without realizing it he had drifted closer to the happy little group, drawn to their happy faces and laughter.

Like storm clouds hiding the sun their faces lost their smiles and he wondered if they sensed he was watching them. Maybe they even felt the badness his father said he possessed, an evil stench his father said he needed to beat out of him. Shoving his hands in his pockets he started to turn away.

“This is my spot,” a loud angry voice growled, jarring Awan from his thoughts “leave.”

“Go away Stephon. We were here first,” Tara said standing up to face him.

“Make me,” he sneered down his nose at her.

“Gladly,” Reed stood up, hands balled into fists.

“Hold it guys,” Eli looked between his friends “we’ll find another place to talk. No big deal. If he wants this spot he can have it.” He moved to get up and let Stephon have this patch of grass they had gathered on.

“Who said I wanted this spot,” he demanded “it’s contaminated now.”

“Then leave us alone,” Tara said a hopeful gleam in her eyes.

Ignoring her Stephon kept his eyes on Eli. “My dad says you’re not normal. Normal kids have a dad and a mom. You only have two dads which makes you abnormal.”

Shaking a little Eli looked into Stephon’s eyes “my daddy said families come in all shapes and sizes. It doesn’t matter if you have only one dad or two as long as there’s love.” He held his breath wondering what Stephon would do or say next.

“Who says I’m not loved?” Stephan cried stepping closer, pushing Eli forcing him several steps backwards.

Frowning Eli looked towards Reed and Tara confused how Stephon jumped to the conclusion he thought he wasn’t loved. “I never said….”

“Yes you did,” he insisted “my dad gives me everything I want.”

“Love is more than getting things. My daddy says it’s a feeling that no matter what you’re safe and warm, like being home.” The look on Stephon’s face sent a shiver down his spine. What had he said that was so bad? He closed his eyes, sure he was about to be pummeled.

“Leave him alone,” someone said coming between him and Stephon Opening his eyes Eli found a kid he’d never seen before protecting him. Even more astonishing than that was the fact that Stephon was lying on the ground a bewildered expression on his face.

Standing Stephon brushed the dirt from his clothes. Turning to Eli “this isn’t over,” he threatened “you better make sure your bodyguard is watching your back because I’m going to get you.” With one final glare at Eli he stomped off towards the swings where his sister was talking with her friends who fled in his wake.

“Thank you,” Eli stammered “I thought I was a goner for sure this time.”

“Is he always like that?” Awan asked looking over his shoulder where Stephon stood glaring at them.

“Pretty much,” Tara said, holding her hand out “I’m Tara. Want to be part of our group?”

“Group?”

“Yeah,” Reed nodded “Eli needs a bodyguard and I need my hands to play the drums.”

“I don’t need a bodyguard but I wouldn’t mind another friend,” Eli grinned at the new kid “so you want to be our friend?”

“Sure,” he grinned back “I’m Awan.”

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Eli,” he said “and if you want, you can be part of rock band too. We’re going to be rock stars.”

“Cool,” he chuckled, glad he had followed his instincts. There was something special about this green eyed boy and he could feel his mother’s approval even though she wasn’t even there. For the first time he wondered if this was why he’d been taken from his home and forced to come here. His mother always said there was a reason for everything and maybe this was his.

Previous/Next

[dandylion240]

“Are you going to make me?” Stephan challenged looking around making sure Awan wasn’t nearby.

“Let’s go Eli,” Reed tugged on his arm attempting to get friend to leave.

“He’s just going to follow,” Eli said watching Stephon warily.

“Then let him,” Reed tugged harder “remember what Mrs Currie said…”

Eli stared a moment at his friend “fine. Stephon can have this dumb old piece of grass.”

Reed led them over to where Tara was waving at them by the swings. She made a grimace at the boy following behind them. “Go away. You’re not wanted here.”

“Ooh I’m so scared,” Stephan waggled his fingers at her. “I can go wherever I want. I own this school.”

“Just because our teacher married your dad doesn’t make you the boss,” she pointed out, making Reed giggle.

“What do you think Eli?” Stephan smirked, daring him to contradict him.

“Tara let’s just go,” Eli gave her a pleading look with his eyes. “I don’t want trouble.”

“Yeah one jailbird in the family is enough,” Stephon taunted.

Stopping Eli whirled around to face the boy. “What did you just say?” he shouted.

Reed put a restraining hand on Eli's shoulder “recess is almost over. Let’s just go stand by the doors. You don’t want Mrs. Currie calling your dads.”

Breathing hard Eli turned to follow his friends. His dads had enough to worry about without getting a call from the school about him getting into another fight. 

“What’s the matter? Chicken?” Stephon called after them. “Afraid your dad’ll go crazy? My dad says he’s unstable. Should be locked up for his own good and the good of everyone else.”

“Take that back,” Eli shouted whirling around to face him.

Smiling now that he’d gotten Eli to react, Stepan continued “my dad says he’s unfit. Best thing would be for the state to come and take the kids.” A nasty grin spread across his face “I bet you’re just like him. Crazy.”

“That’s an awful thing to say,” Tara gasped coming to stand beside Eli.

There was a flicker in Stephan's eyes that showed he knew that what he was saying was wrong but the smirk plastered on his face showed he didn’t care. “I bet he killed that guy. Just went all crazy on him and killed him.”

“Take that back,” Eli demanded “my daddy wouldn’t hurt anyone.”

“Why should I? Everyone knows he wanted him dead…”

Screaming Eli charged, arms swinging. Stephon yelped and took off running across the playground. Eli chased after him wanting nothing more than to stuff the awful words back inside his head. His daddy would never hurt anyone, not anyone, not even the bad man who hurt him. He knew it in his heart.

“Eli Reagan.”

The firm angry voice had him stopping in his tracks. He should have known Stephon would run for the one teacher who would take his side no matter what.

Smirking from behind his new step mom and teacher. “I told you he hates me,” he whined “all I wanted to do was play with them.”

“That’s not true…” he let his words fade knowing from experience she wouldn’t listen. 

“That’s it,” she grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the school, marching him towards the principal’s office where she immediately launched into her version of what happened.

“I see,” the principle said turning to Eli asking “is that what happened?”

“Of course it is,” she shouted over his words, offended that he didn’t believe her.

His eyes never left Eli’s face. “I went to school with your Grandpa Riley. We were friends. You can tell me anything as long as it’s the truth.”

Taking a step away from his teacher Eli said “Stephon said some really bad things about my daddy.”

Huffing loudly Mrs Currie said, “you can’t honestly believe him. He’ll say anything to get out of trouble. I’ve warned him…”

“And I’ve warned you,” the principle cut her off. “Eli’s parents aren’t the only parents who have lodged complaints against you.”

“They’re just jealous that their kids aren’t as talented as Stephon is,” she said.

“You think so?” he asked “I suppose Eli is one of those talentless kids.”

“Well yes,” she nodded relieved that he understood.

“I’ve heard him play,” he smiled “he’s as talented as his dad and grandpa are if not more so.” He watched as his words sank in “your new assistant has been observing you while you’ve been teaching.”

“What,” she cried as if she just stepped into quicksand.

“I see that’s caught your attention,” he smirked. “She’ll be taking over your class. You’re fired.”

“It’s not like I need this job,” she huffed. “Don’t expect to see anymore of my husband’s substantial donations either.”

“I already have his pledge for this year and his promise for more. Did you forget we were old friends too? I think you’ll find him less understanding when he finds out the majority of what Stephon repeats comes from you and not from him as Stephan claims.”

Her eyes bulged a moment before she stomped from the room slamming the door behind her.

Shaking his head chuckling a little “I’m afraid that young woman is divorce bound.” Turning back to Eli “you do realize this doesn’t get you off the hook. I will be calling your parents.”

“Yes sir,” he said, regretting he let Stephon get to him.

“Take a seat in the hallway until your parents come to take you home.” When Eli reached the door he said “if Stephon is out there send him in. I need to talk to him too.”

“Dad,” Eli jumped up at the sight of Ethan walking towards him. Looking behind him “Daddy didn’t come?”

“I thought we’d have a little talk before we went home,” he frowned towards the young boy scowling at them from across the hall. He knew who the boy was. He was a little surprised that he was still here instead of leaving with his step mother.

“Come on Dad let’s go” Eli urged before Ethan had a chance to say anything in front of Stephon.

Feeling the tug on his hand Ethan let him lead him outside and towards the parking lot. He kept on going when Eli stopped beside the car. 

“Dad where are you going?” Eli asked, puzzled thinking they were going to talk in the car on the way home.

“I feel like going for a walk,” he said waving for him to join him.

Joining him, head hanging low Eli asked, “are you mad at me?”

“What do you think?” he asked.

“Um…no,” he shook his head “Daddy said it was ok to defend myself.”

“Is that what you did today?”

“Well,” he stopped looking perplexed. Maybe he was in trouble after all. “Not exactly,” he admitted “but Stephon was saying some really bad things about Daddy.” Ethan smiled a little “your principal told me what that boy said and I’m proud of you for wanting to defend your Dad.”

“You are?”

“Of course. It’s important to know when to stand up not only for yourself but for those you love too.”

“Dad,” Eli stopped walking looking worried “is Daddy alright? He’s not crazy like Stephan said?”

“No he’s not,” Ethan knelt down in front of his son. “Your dad is sensitive and vulnerable right now. He’s been through a lot that most people would find shocking.” He could see in his son’s eyes the struggle to understand “let me ask you a question. How did you feel when Stephon said your daddy killed that man?”

“I felt awful,” he grimaced, holding his stomach. “I felt like I was going to be sick. I knew Daddy could never hurt anyone, not even the bad man.”

The certainty in his son’s voice made him smile. “Now imagine how your dad felt when the police took him into a little room and started to question him about how and why he killed that man. At one point they made him look at pictures of the dead man.”

“They shouldn’t have done that,” he cried tears filling his eyes.

“No they shouldn’t have,” he pulled his son close, hugging him tight. “That’s why your daddy is so withdrawn right now. He’s having to deal with all these bad memories and being accused of something so awful has made him heartsick.”

“What can we do to make him feel better?” Eli asked, leaning in close to his dad. It was kind of scary thinking his daddy was hurting so much. People sometimes died when they hurt bad enough. 

“We give him lots and lots of hugs and kisses. We show him how much we love him,” he said.

“And we don’t tell him all the bad things people say about him,” Eli added.

Sighing, Ethan shook his. He was afraid this was what Eli would want to do. Hide the ugliness that others say to protect his dad. “No we can’t do that. It wouldn’t be right. He needs to know these things even if it hurts.”

Taking his dad’s hand Eli asked, “why do people say mean things that they know will hurt someone?”

“I don’t know,” he ruffled his son’s hair. “I suppose they want to make themselves feel better.”

Puzzled, he asked “you mean Stephon is mean because he’s unhappy?”

“Maybe” he shrugged “he just might want attention and going about it in the wrong way.”

“I think he’s just mean.”

Chuckling a little Ethan silently agreed with him.

“Is Daddy safe now that the bad man is gone?”

“Yeah I think so,” Ethan replied, turning around and leading them back towards the school.

“Good,” Eli gave his dad a relieved smile “but if he’s not you’ll protect him, right?”

“With my life,” he promised.

“You should have been here,” Reed enthused as they sat down for lunch.

Glancing at Eli, Awan said “you didn’t tell me anything. Did Stephon bother you while I was out?”

Shrugging, Eli said “a little” he mumbled looking away. “No more than usual.”

“That’s the biggest understatement I’ve ever heard,” Tara huffed, rolling her eyes. “Stephon got his stepmom fired.”

“How?” Awan asked, watching Eli carefully. Knowing his friend, he probably felt bad.

“Oh he said a bunch of bad things about Eli’s Dad.” Reed explained with his mouth full. Swallowing “you should have seen it. Eli was so mad he chased Stephon all the way across the playground.”

“Yeah the little weasel tried hiding behind Mrs Currie,” Tara added laughing so hard she snorted. “I wish I had seen that,” Awan munched on his peanut butter sandwich. “It really wasn’t anything,” Eli mumbled uncomfortable with the way his friends were talking about what happened.

“It was too,” Tara contradicted him “Mrs Currie deserved what she got.”

“She lost her job,” Eli cried “and she might even get a divorce.”

“So what,” she shrugged unconcerned.

“It’s my fault,” Eli pushed his half eaten lunch away. “I just wanted Stephon to leave me alone and to stop saying those things about my dad. I didn’t want to get her fired.”

“That’s not your fault,” Reed stood to throw his trash away. “She could have stopped Stephon herself. She chose to ignore what he was doing.”

“That’s part of her job,” Tara followed Reed. Stopping she said “talk to him Awan. He’ll listen t o you.”

Eli watched his friends walk away. A moment later they were laughing as they dared each other to go higher on the swings. “Well,” he challenged Awan. “What do you have to say?”

Shrugging Awan popped the last of his sandwich into his mouth. “What do you want me to say? You did get her fired.”

His mouth dropped open. “Well yeah…but I didn’t expect you to agree with me.”

Chuckling a little as he stood up “I don’t.”

“But you just said…” scrambling to clean up his lunch Eli hurried after Awan. "What do you mean you don’t?”

Sitting on one of the benches close to the swings Awan sighed. “Well Mrs Currie could have been a better teacher. If she had been she’d never have let things get to the point where her job was in danger.”

“I guess,” Eli sounded perplexed watching his friend.

Smiling a little, Awan continued “I’m guessing she was warned. Adults like to warn people of what might happen if they don’t change. She chose not to listen. If she had she might not have lost her job.”

“So you’re saying it’s not my fault.”

“Yep,” he smiled, smugly swinging his feet.

Considering his words Eli nodded. Changing the subject he asked “why were you gone so long? Were you sick?” He’d wanted to ask earlier but didn’t want to do so while Tara and Reed were around. Awan didn’t like to talk much about himself, especially not around a bunch of people.

Nodding “you could say that.”

Frowning Eli reached a hand out to touch Awan's arm. He snatched his hand back when Awan cried out in pain. “What’s wrong? What did I do? Did I hurt you?” Jumping to his feet “I’m going to get the school nurse.”

“No don’t,” he cried standing up to block Eli from going. “I’m fine. Really.”

“You don’t look fine,” he could tell the smile on his friends face was forced. He’d seen his dad in pain before and that was the same look he had. “You’re hurt. You should have the nurse take a look.”

Grabbing Eli by the arm, Awan said “no I’m fine. I fell but it’s fine now.”

Eli’s face scrunched upin concern “is that why you were out? You were hurt? Did your dad take you to see the doctor?”

“Yeah and I’m fine,” he mumbled, not looking at Eli.

“But you’re still in pain” he stood indecisively “I think we should have the nurse double check.”

“No,” he cried “I’m fine.”

“I don’t know,” he took a step around Awan.

“I’ll prove it to you,” he said “let’s join the others and I’ll push you.”

“But…”

“I wouldn’t be able to push you if I was hurt,” Awan said as he ran towards the swings “come on before it’s taken.”

“Oh alright,” he muttered, running after his friend. He couldn’t be that hurt if he wanted to push him on the swings, could he?

Previous/Next

[dandylion240]

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Eli jumped startled by the gruff angry voice. His hands dropped to his sides. Before he could react he watched as his guitar was lifted from its case. “Hey! That’s mine!.”

“Not anymore,” the boy held the instrument above his head laughing at Eli’s attempts to retrieve it.

“Give it back,” he jumped up trying to reach his guitar that was just out of reach above his head. “It’s mine,” he cried as his fingers slipped across its smooth surface. 

“Not anymore,” the boy put a hand out knocking Eli flat on his bottom “it’s mine now.”

Landing with a jarring thud, tears blurring his vision Eli watched the older boy start to walk away with one of his most prized possessions. Screaming he jumped to his feet, hurtling himself across the room tackling the boy at the knees. They both went down in a flurry of arms and legs. “Give it back,” he cried, arms flailing as he tried to wrestle his beloved guitar away from the bigger kid.

“Eli Reagan,” a stern voice said above them freezing both boys. “What’s the meaning of this behavior?”

Standing Eli faced his teacher “he took my guitar.”

“Stephan, did you take his guitar,” she asked.

“I just wanted to look at it,” he said contritely, “but he attacked me for no reason.”

“I did not,” Eli shouted his cheeks rising in color and heat. “You never asked, you just took it.”

“Did not,” he looked at the guitar in his hands with disgust. “Why would I want this old thing? It’s worthless. It’s all scratched up.” Tossing the offending instruments at Eli he stumped off joining his friends in the opposite corner of the room.

Eli barely caught his beloved guitar before it clattered to the floor. Staring at it’s once smooth surface he blinked back tears. His fingertips felt every dent and scratch their scuffle had created in it’s once perfect surface.

“Eli I’m going to have to call your parents. Fighting is not tolerated…”

“But I didn’t start it,” he cried his mouth puckering as he fought not to cry in front of the whole class. 

Shaking her head, arms crossed in front of her “I doubt that Stephan meant anything by touching your old guitar. His parents can afford much better. You’re the one who overreacted. Now I want you to apologize….”

Chin jerking upwards “I won’t,” he cried running from the room cradling his guitar in his arms.

Slumping, Eli slid down the wall outside of the classroom. Pulling his guitar into his arms muttering “it’s not fair.” Tears rolled down his cheeks “it wasn’t just me. Stephan shouldn’t have taken my guitar.” His hands felt along the once smooth surface. His delicate touch, feeling every imperfection their scuffle had put into it’s sleek surface.

The door behind him opened and closed admitting two individuals into the hall. “I told you he’d be here,” a girl's voice announced knowingly.

“Ooh big deal,” her companion retorted “where else was he going to be?”

“Well…” she paused “there were several possibilities. He could have gone to the bathroom. The nurses office. The principal’s office. The library or even the playground. Lots of places.”

Rolling his eyes the boy squatted down next to Eli. “She thinks she knows everything.”

Looking up surprised that anyone would come after him. “I didn’t think of any of those places.”

“Of course not,” the boy grinned “you’re new here.”

Wiping his eyes dry on the back of his hands he sniffed “why are you talking to me? Won’t Miss Blix be mad at you for coming out here?”

“She doesn’t scare us,” the boy puffed out his chest.

“She’s going to call my dads because I was fighting,” he lowered his head to his knees. “They’re going to be so disappointed in me.” He could see his dads now. The half scared look in Jonah’s normally gentle brown eyes. The little gasp he’d make as he brought his hand to his face like he was going to be sick. The concerned, protective gleam in Ethan’s eyes as he comforted him before he had what they called an anxiety attack. Then those same green eyes would look at him with disapproval for upsetting daddy. “I’m going to be in so much trouble,” he mumbled more to himself than to his companions. He really hated making daddy upset and this was really going to upset him.

Slipping an arm around his shoulders the girl said “we’ll be your witnesses. We saw what happened, didn’t we Reed?”

The boy gave her a half frightened look that clearly said he didn’t want to get involved.

“Didn’t we?” she prompted kicking his shin.

“Yeah sure,” he rubbed his shin where her foot made contact. “Just so you know if Stephan comes after me I’m telling him it was your idea.”

“Chicken,” she sneered, rolling her eyes “he doesn’t scare me.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Eli sighed “Miss Blix will never believe us.”

“She doesn’t have to,” the girl retorted. “It’s your parents who have to. They will, won’t they?”

Glancing up at her “I guess…but I really disappointed them. My first day here and I’m already in a fight. They were so excited when I got into this school and they don’t like fighting.”

“There’s nothing wrong with defending yourself,” the girl said “your parents should be proud of you for standing up for yourself.”

“Yeah,” her friend agreed “there’s not many who will stand up to Stephan. He bully’s everyone here including his sister.”

“And he gets away with it too” the girl said explaining “his dad makes tons of money and donates tons to the school.”

Pointing to the girl Reed said “Tara and I are what Stephan calls charity cases because our parents can’t afford to pay the tuition.”

“My parents pay,” Eli looked between his companions, “why is he picking on me?”

“Because you have what he wants,” Reed reached across to touch Eli’s guitar.

“Oh,” he grasped his guitar tighter “if he really wanted one I’m sure my dads could get him one.”

“It’s not just that,” Tara touched the hand he had gripping the guitar. “I hope he didn’t hurt it too much.”

“I’m going to take it home and see if my dad will know how to fix it,” he said “my dad knows everything about music.”

“We know,” Reed grinned, “he’s famous. Stephan’s dad isn’t. I think he’s jealous.”

“Yeah so you need to keep clear of him” Tara urged “Stephan likes everyone to know he’s number one around here.”

“I don’t want to be number one” Eli protested “I just want to have friends.”

“We’ll be your friends” Tara said holding out her hand.

“Me too,” Reed enthused, putting his over hers.

“Great,” Eli laughed putting his hands over theirs “we’re like the three musketeers.”

Dragging his feet as he got off the bus Eli dreaded going inside despite the encouraging words his new friends had said. He hated knowing he had disappointed his parents; especially Jonah who hated all forms of fighting. He didn’t want to see that hurt desperate look he sometimes saw in his dad’s gentle brown eyes.

Stalling for time he glanced up towards the front door. The door he’d come in and out of numerous times before. As he bolstered his courage the door opened and Jonah walked outside “Dad,” he choked sounding like a strangled cat. His guitar case felt heavy in his hand, slipping from his fingers as he saw the concern in his dad’s eyes. “I’m sorry,” he cried as Jonah approached him “I know I shouldn’t have but…” 

Jonah enveloped his son in his arms, “let’s go inside and you can tell me all about it.”

“But …” he gazed up at his dad “aren’t you mad at me?”

“Why would I be mad at you?” Jonah asked, turning them both towards the house, his hand on his son’s shoulder, gently guiding him.

“Because I was fighting,” saying the words aloud made him feel awful like he should find the first hole and crawl inside it.

“Was there a good reason?”

“Reason?” he repeated, confused.

“For fighting,” Jonah said. “Your teacher, Miss Blix called…”

“Oh,” he gulped as his stomach dropped a hundred feet below ground. “I’m sorry Daddy. I know you don’t like fighting but I…” Shaking his head as words failed him. Glancing upwards he found his dad giving him a small gentle smile instead of the disappointed look he expected. It was like seeing sunshine after a storm. “I was sure you’d be disappointed in me for fighting.”

Pulling him close “I could never be disappointed in you. We all make mistakes but that’s how we learn.”

Frowning Eli sighed looking down “so it was a mistake to fight?” 

“That depends,” Jonah lifted Eli's chin upwards looking into his son’s eyes “did you have a good reason for fighting? I know what your teacher said but I want to know what you have to say.”

“Okay,” once he started talking it wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be. Leaning into Jonah he said “my guitar is all scratched up now…”

“We can get that fixed,” Jonah assured him. “i know someone who will have it looking brand new in no time.”

Throwing his arms around his dad as they sat on the couch Eli cried “you’re the best.” Sitting back he lost his smile “what if Stephan does it again?”

“If he does, I want you to defend yourself,” Jonah told him “there’s a difference between starting a fight and defending yourself. Sometimes it’s necessary to fight and I think you know the difference between wanting to fight and doing so because you have no other option.”

Nodding, Eli moved to get his homework out “what about my teacher?”

“Your dad and I will talk to her,” Jonah assured him “don’t worry about that.”

Previous/Next

[dandylion240]

“We need to be quiet,” Eli whispered to his friends.

“Why?” Reed’s question seemed to bounce off the walls, loud in the small room.

“Because,” Tara pointed, “babies need quiet to sleep.”

Shrugging unimpressed, Reed said “baby’s cry all the time.”

Staring down at his baby brothers Eli said, “you’d cry too if that’s the only way you had to let people know what you want.”

“That’s dumb,” Reed said shaking his head “I don’t see why anyone would ever want one.”

“Your parents must have,” Tara said as she held a finger out to the baby who opened its eyes a moment disturbed by their voices.

“I’m not a baby,” he protested.

“Not now,” she rolled her eyes at him. “Sometimes I think you have rocks instead of brains.”

“That’s not nice.”

“She only meant you were a baby once too,” Eli added quickly before they could get into an argument. “Come on let’s go before they wake up.” Lingering by the crib Tara asked “do you think I could hold one of them?”

“Uh I don’t think so,” Eli stepped between her and his brother. “My dad is kind of particular about who can hold them.”

“But they’re so cute,” she kind of squealed and one of the baby’s made a small fussy whimper.

“Shh,” Eli put a finger to his lips “don’t wake them.”

“Uh guys,” Reed backed slowly towards the door, “i think they’re waking up.”

The door behind them opened “Eli you know you’re not supposed to be in here when the twins are sleeping.”

“I know,” he stared at his feet “Tara wanted to see them and I didn’t want to …”

“I know we’ve been a little distracted lately but all you had to do was ask,” Ethan ruffled his hair. “Why don’t you show your friends the pool? Your dad almost has the cake ready for the party.”

“Can we swim?” Reed asked, eager to leave the room.

“As long as your parents said it was alright,” Ethan told him.

“They did,” he pointed at his shorts. “I came prepared.”

The twins began to cry in protest of having their nap disrupted. Going over to the nearest crib Tara asked “can I hold one of them? I’ll be real careful.”

“I’ll help you in just a moment,” Ethan said, turning to Eli “Awan is here. Why don’t you see if he wants to swim?”

“Alright,” Eli grinned up at him before running towards the door. Stopping he turned “thanks.”

“For what?” Ethan asked, showing Tara how to support the baby’s head.

“For not getting mad.”

Chuckling a little “I guess I’m just glad you like your baby brothers.”

“I do,” his grin grew wider as he left the room and found Awan by the door.

Awn kind of looked a little lost almost as if he wasn’t sure he should be there. Impulsively Eli threw his arms around him “I’m so glad you’re here.”

Gritting his teeth to keep from crying out Awan said “I wouldn’t miss Jolene’s birthday. It’s not everyday you turn five.”

Frowning Eli asked “are you feeling alright?”

“Yeah,” Awan nodded as held his arms rigidly to his sides.

“You sure?”

“I wouldn’t have said I was if I wasn’t,” Awan mumbled.

“Your dad said you weren’t feeling well and that you weren’t coming.”

“It was just a stomach ache. I’m fine now.” He shrugged, forcing a smile to his lips “no big deal.”

Eli gave his friend a doubtful look but decided to drop it for now. “Dad says you can borrow some swim trunks if you want to swim.” Eli said leading the way to his room. He’d gone a few steps before realising Awan wasn’t following. “Don’t you want to swim?”

“I don’t really like the water,” he explained. 

“It’s kind of hot,” Eli said “I could let you borrow some shorts and a t-shirt. You can change when I do. I’m dressed up for pictures.”

“Nah I’m fine,” he smoothed down his too long sleeves “I burn in the sun.”

“That’s what sunblock is for. That’s what my dad says. He’s always putting it on us.” After a moment he offered, “I’m sure he' 'd put some on you too if you asked.”

“If I get too hot I’ll consider it,” he agreed, looking a bit uncomfortable at the thought. “Where’s Jolene? I want to give her a birthday hug.”

Jonah sat on the sun warm sand watching Eli and Jolene chase after the waves. He and Jayden did that when they were that age. Getting soaked from head to toe, skin crusted with salt and sand. Smiling he was thankful that Ethan had convinced him to get away from the house.

While the kids played he started to pack away their picnic lunch. From the corner of his eye something flashed in the afternoon sun. Looking up he saw a man standing with binoculars to his eyes. Was he watching them? The kids? Him?

A chill ran down his spine. Whoever that was had a birds eye view of them. From the angle it looked more like he was watching him more than the kids. Momentary relief flooded him. But who could it be?

“Kids,” he called “it’s time to go.”

“Do we have to?” Jolene demanded running towards the wave, ignoring him.

Turning Eli went after her. He could tell from the expression on his dad’s face that something was wrong, like he was struggling not to panic. “Jolene we have to go,” he attempted to get her attention before their dad had to come get her.

“But we’re having fun,” she protested “I don’t want to go.”

“Daddy says we have to go,” he wasn’t sure how much she understood about their dad’s anxiety.

“But,” she started whining, torn between staying and doing as she’s told. “Fine,” sighing dramatically “but I’m not happy about this.”

“I’ll make it up to you,” he promised.

Grabbing his hand she said, “I know. You can let me in your band.”

“You don’t know how to play an instrument,” he shook his head “What would you do in the band?”

“Every band needs a dancer,” she twirled on the sand laughing. “Or I could be a singer. You need a girl singer.”

“I’m the singer and guitar player,” he said.

“I said a girl singer,” she rolled her eyes “and I’m good.”

“So am I.”

“Not as good as me.”

Kids let’s go,” Jonah said walking towards them, his eyes scanning the beach like he was searching for something or someone.

“We’re coming,” Eli took his sister’s hand, pulling her along.

“I’m coming. You don’t need to pull my arm off.”

It was a quiet ride home. Jonah kept an eye on his mirrors, certain the same car had followed them from the beach all the way home. Why would anyone be following him? Was he letting his imagination run wild? Was he becoming paranoid? No he was positive it was the same car. Slowing down to turn into their drive he held his breath as the car behind him slowed then sped up as it went past them. 

Parking, the kids ran into the house as Jonah walked around to the back to unload. He couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was watching. Dropping the picnic basket and spilling its contents on the ground he bent to pick them items up. 

“Need some help?” Ethan asked coming up beside him, his voice making Jonah yelp in surprise. “Hey what’s wrong?” he took several steps forward “you’re shaking. What happened?”

Leaning into Ethan’s warm embrace “someone was watching us at the beach.”

Ethan’s arms tightened around him “you’re safe. Your old boss is gone. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

“I know it wasn’t him,” he scowled up at Ethan, “it was someone else. I don’t know who but they hand binoculars….”

“Maybe they were just birdwatching.”

“They followed us home.”

“It was probably just someone who lives nearby,” Ethan said “It’s a small town and lots of people go to the beach. It only seemed like they were following you.”

Stiffening, Jonah took a step back “I know what I saw. I’m not making things up.”

“I’m not saying you are,” Ethan tried to pull him close but Jonah stepped away from him. “Maybe you’re mistaken. Who besides that guy would want to follow you?”

“I don’t know,” his bottom lip trembled “I know they were watching. I could feel it.”

Ethan could see how close to the edge Jonah was instead of forcing the issue he offered “why don’t you go inside. I’ll clean up here.”

Jonah stood there a moment watching, wanting to make him understand that this wasn’t him freaking out or panicking. Why couldn't Ethan understand that someone was watching him?

Noelle shoved her phone in her pocket. It was him. No one breathed like that. No one but him. Her ex husband. Julien.

“Mom,” Kai called from the small lumpy couch. “When is Cory coming to visit?”

“I don’t know,” she pulled her hair back, willing her hands to stop shaking.

“Is something wrong?” Kai asked, having grown sensitive to his mother and alert to the smallest things.

Forcing a smile on her face. “Nothing. Except you’re fast forwarding through my favorite part.” She made a grab for the remote.

“Mom,” he groaned “that’s the mushy part.”

“I know,” laughing she wrestled the remote from his hand, rewinding to the beginning.

“Ugh,” slapping his hand over his eyes “my eyes, my eyes.”

“You’ve seen me kiss guys before. I’ve never heard you complain when it’s Cory.”

“Cory’s different,” he pulled his hands from his face once the mushy stuff was over. “Is Cory going to be my dad?” he asked, watching his mom hopefully.

“You’d like that wouldn’t you?” Her eyes never moved from the TV refusing to see the hope die from his eyes.

Nodding Kai said “he’s a good guy. I like him a lot.”

“I like him too” she agreed, trying not to give him anything to pin his hopes on. “It’s too soon for anything else; especially for you to think he’ll be your dad.” She felt him move on the couch beside her, she turned in time to see the dwindling hope fade from his eyes.

“That’s what you always say right before you break up.” He jumped from the couch and stomped off to his bedroom.

“What about the movie,” she called after him, not bothering to deny what they both knew to be the truth.

“Watch it yourself,” he slammed his bedroom door behind him.

Staring at the TV without really watching it she leaned back with a sigh. It took a moment for her to realize her phone was ringing. “Hello,” she answered smiling when she recognized the voice on the other end. “We were just talking about you.”

“All good I hope,” Cory’s smile could be heard through the speaker.

“Of course,” she laughed softly “Kai was hoping you’d come for a visit soon.”

“Just Kai?”

“You know it’s me too,” she looked towards her son’s bedroom door, thankful he wasn’t there to listen to the call. Cory was a good guy and didn’t deserve what she was doing. She knew it but for now, she needed him and the protection he provided them.

Cory could hear the coldness in her voice and knew if he hadn’t asked she wouldn’t have said it. It was becoming increasingly clear that what Courtney had been telling him was true. Noelle was using him. Maybe he had known it and didn’t want to see it.

Kai’s happy little face came to mind as he ended the call with Noelle. There was no doubt that little boy liked him. Wanted him to be his dad. That would be the hardest thing about ending things with Noelle. Once he knew they were safe he knew he and Noelle needed to have a good long talk.

Tossing his phone aside he stretched out on his bed. Staring up at the ceiling, his thoughts going back several years. What would it have been like if he hadn’t made the decision to let Jonah go? Would he be a father by now? Or would Jonah have kept him at arm’s length the way he had the time they had been together?

Shaking his head, chastising himself for even allowing himself to dwell on things better not dwelt on. One day he’d find the one. A part of him, the part feeling the clock inside him winding down wondered if he would. Forty wasn’t that old. It wasn’t exactly young either. His chances of finding the one was slowly slipping away and he’d be a lonely old man.

Sitting up he pulled his shirt off. That wouldn’t happen. The lonely part. He had Courtney. His feisty take no prisoners daughter. Maybe one day he’d even have grandchildren. No he wouldn’t be lonely.

Previous/Next

[dandylion240]

The air was filled with the shrill cries of what Eli could only imagine were thousands of birds singing at once. Where was he, he wondered as he brushed aside heavy green foliage before it slapped him in the face. Was he in a jungle? Were there lions or tigers hidden in the deep jungle undergrowth? What if he were eaten, no one would know. Fear trickled down his spine as he moved forward, moved by instinct to continue on despite his growing fear. 

Beneath the sound of birds singing, he could hear a low murmur like someone was talking somewhere ahead of him. He moved forward making as little noise as he could. The sound of birds making his progress easier.

“Awan,” he whispered as the couple came into view. Eli retraced his steps not wanting to be seen.

The young man turned in Eli’s direction as if he sensed or heard something but the girl he was with tugged on his hand redirecting his attention.

“You’re not listening to me,” the girl said, pointing in the opposite direction from where Eli was hiding. “We need to go in that direction.”

“Then you go,” Awan grumbled.

“Your mother said we have to go together,” the girl said with growing irritation. “This is our couples rite. If we don’t find the harmony tree together we won’t be allowed to marry. Don’t you want to be married?”

Rolling his eyes “yes of course I do but…”

“But what,” she snapped, “are you still holding on to the hope of seeing your little friend again?”

“He’s my soulmate,” Awan said, “not just my friend.”

“He can’t be your soulmate,” the girl replied, “you didn’t even go through the rite of passage or find the harmony tree.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Awan held firm to his belief.

“It does,” the girl said, equally as firm. 

“You sound just like my mother,” Awan mumbled “no wonder she picked you for my wife.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” the girl grinned, turning and disappearing into the jungle.

Awan watched her go, mumbling beneath his breath “it wasn’t a compliment.”

Eli moved from his hiding spot, “is it true? You’re going to marry her?”

Awan turned, grinning “I knew you’d find your way to the dreamscape.”

Eli spun in a slow circle “this is the dreamscape? It looks different from the last time.”

“You’ve entered into my rite of passage,” Awan explained “I’m here to find my soulmate.”

“The harmony tree,” Eli murmured, showing he had been listening for quite a while to the girl.

“Yes.” Awan sighed “but she is going in the wrong direction.”

“She is,” Eli affirmed “I passed it on my way here.” He wasn’t sure how he knew that but he was positive he had. “The place is full of thousands of birds singing at once.”

Holding his hand out, Awan said “will you take me to it?”

 Taking his hand, Eli smiled “I never thought I’d see you again.”

“I never stopped believing,” Awan said, “even though everyone said I was a fool to believe.”

“I’m not so sure they were wrong,” Eli said.

“You’re here aren’t you?” Awan said, coming to a stop and pulling Eli close. “I knew you would come and you’re as beautiful as I imagined you would be.”

Blushing, Eli leaned in close, “you’re even more beautiful than I ever could imagine.” Eli closed his eyes, expecting, hoping … Instead he felt Awan move away from him. He opened his eyes in confusion, what had he done wrong? Had he misread the signs? The emotion in Awan’s eyes? He let out a small whimper of longing and protest.

Awan squeezed his hand, “we must wait until we find the harmony tree.”

“Oh,” Eli sighed, “what’s the harmony tree?”

“A sacred place,” Awan explained, “where two people destined to marry will be bound together forever to their soulmate.”

“Like the red string of destiny,” Eli asked.

“Something like that,” Awan said “not all soulmates find each other and even if they do, they may never marry each other.”

“But you just said the harmony tree binds them together forever. That they become soulmates.” Eli was really confused now.

“My mother has entered into a marriage arrangement for me. As her son I cannot break the arrangement.” Awan explained “but that doesn’t mean the harmony tree will bind me to her as my soulmate.”

“We won’t ever see each other again will we?” Eli asked; although it was more of a statement. He felt it’s truthfulness even as he asked the question.

“Not in the flesh,” Awan agreed.

“But in the dreamscape,” Eli pressed on, needing the answers to his burning questions.

“Only in the dreamscape will soulmates who are destined never to be together be able to meet,” Awan said and there was a measure of sorrow in both his eyes and voice.

“Are we destined to be estranged soulmates?” Eli asked as his chest constricted, fighting back tears.

“I have given my word that I will not seek you out or leave my people,” Awan said. “I will not break my promise.”

“Nor will I ask you to break it,” Eli said, seeing his own pain reflected back at him in Awan’s eyes. “I love you. I always have.”

“And I you,” Awan said, “and I always will.” He bent forward, his face mere inches from Eli’s, he cupped Eli’s face between his hands. As their lips touched they were bathed in a halo of light, and all the birds joined together in one song.

Breathing hard, Eli gazed into Awan’s eyes “we’ve found the harmony tree.”

“You felt it too,” Awan said, breathing just as hard.

“It feels like our hearts are beating as one,” Eli said as placed a hand over Awan’s heart.

“In harmony forever,” Awan said, putting his hand over Eli’s heart. 

There were no words needed to express their feelings. Their bodies spoke for them. Moving in a harmony as the tree safeguarded them and unified their connection, mind, soul and body.

When they were spent they laid in each other’s arms, a moment both knew they would remember all their lives. “So this is it,” Eli asked as Awan reached for his clothes.

“It’s all we can ever have,” Awan said.

“I’ll always love you,” Eli said, pulling on his clothes.

Awan moved in, giving him another kiss, “no matter what happens in our lives you must live for the future. Marry. Have a family. Promise me you will live your life.”

“I will if you promise to do the same,” Eli said, clinging to Awan, wanting this moment never to end.

“I promise,” Awan said.

“I promise too,” Eli said “always remember I love you.” He felt himself being dragged away and he woke up with a jerk to find himself in his room, alone with Awan’s picture pressed to his chest.

He sat up, reaching for his notebook he used to write his music in. He knew how to finish Mandi’s song. He also knew it was for Awan as well. A farewell to his soulmate.

“I can’t believe you lost … to him,” Jolene glared in the direction where Stephan was gloating with his friends.

Eli shrugged “It’s alright JoJo…”

“No it’s not,” she crossed her arms in front of her. “You were way better than him.”

“I agree,” Mandy said as she wrapped her arms around Eli, snuggling into him. 

“We,” Eli emphasized the word “were pretty good.”

“You’re too modest for your own good,” Reed said as he and his girlfriend joined them.

Snorting Eli shook his head “I’m just one member of a band.”

“Oh we know,” Tara chuckled, “we would have won but Stephan got the sympathy vote.”

Eli let out a relieved sigh. For a moment he thought Tara was going to say they would have won if they had practiced more. He couldn’t shake the thought though. 

“Hey,” Mandy cooed, “why the long face? You did awesome.” She grinned “I especially loved that new song. Was that for me? Am I your muse?”

Eli didn’t have the heart or nerve to contradict her. “Yeah,” he murmured, catching Jolene’s eyes long enough to wonder if she’d call him out on his lie. 

Jolene pressed her lips together but remained silent even though she knew her brother was either lying to himself or to Mandy. Maybe even both. Guilt stabbed at her heart. It was her fault that he was playing this charade. “That’s my brother,” she grinned, “the hopeless romantic.”

“I’m not hopeless,” Eli objected.

“No you’re not,” Mandy assured him

Reed cackled, with loud obnoxious laughter,  earning himself several stares from passing people and a jab to his ribs from his girlfriend. “What?” he demanded rubbing his side “he is hopeless. He pined for years for Awan and…”

“Be nice,” Tara urged glaring at him 

“He’s right,” Eli agreed softly “but that’s all in the past.” He squeezed Mandy against his side “this is now.” 

“If you say so bro,” Reed scoffed.

“I’m warning you,” Tara glared at him.

Rolling his eyes Reed sighed “fine. Whatever.”

“Good,” Tara grinned entwining her arm with his “now let’s go party; afterall we did come in second.”

“Yeah,” Eli agreed, “my dad’s have a celebratory party planned at the house.”

“And we’re already late,” Jolene said, urging them towards the exit.

Several weeks later Eli plopped down beside Jolene where she was reading a book under a huge shade tree. The air was full of the sounds of birds chirping at once and the scent of cherry blossoms wafting in the breeze. Leaning forward to see the title of the book Jolene seemed engrossed in, Eli grunted “you do know we aced our project?”

Sticking a finger in the book to mark her place, Jolene glared at her brother. “I know.”

Tapping the book Eli asked “then why all the studying?”

“Because,” her shoulders rose in a shrug.

Raising an eyebrow Eli chuckled “you really like magic school don’t you?”

Sighing Jolene let her eyes wander around the small garden. Breathing deeply, she lifted her face to the sun where its rays were breaking through the dense foliage. “I do,” she said, closing her eyes and smiling.

“Good,” Eli said, shifting his weight as he started to get up.  

“Ei,” Jolene called, her eyes snapping open as she reached for his hand “don’t go. I…” she stopped as the words she wanted to say stuck in her throat.

Eli paused looking in her eyes and saw what he could only describe as panic. Sitting back he placed his free hand over her hand that was clutching his wrist. “What’s wrong? Did something happen? I thought you were happy here.”

“Yes. No. I am,” she replied to his questions in quick succession.

“Then what,” he asked at a loss as to what to do or say.

“You’re graduating soon…”

“Ah,” he chuckled, “you’re going to miss me.”

“It’s not that,” she said, shaking her head, tugging her hand free.

“Then what?”

“I..” she paused, gulping for air knowing the time had come to tell him. She needed to tell him. “You’re going to hate me.”

“You’re my sister, I could never…”

“Yes you will,” she cried, cutting him off. “I’m a terrible person.”

“A little hotheaded and self-centered at times,” Eli grinned, “but not terrible.”

“You don’t know,” she cried, jumping to her feet.

“Hey,” Eli said following her. 

She jumped from his touch “you don’t understand. I did something terrible. Something unforgivable.”

Frowning Eli shook his head. “Stephan’s alright. Even better than he was before. I mean he’s still a jerk but he’s not dead or dying.”

“Not that,” she hugged, her hands balled into fists.

“Ok,” Eli eyed his sister warily “then why don’t you tell me. It can’t be that bad.”

“I called Awan’s dad,” she blurted, “I’m the reason why Awan left. I’m the reason for why Stephan was able to bully you. I’m a terrible person.”

Eli’s eyes widened, filled with shock, then pain. He could see Jolene’s lips moving as she poured out her secret to him but it was the sound of a storm swept beach filled his ears as one wave after another pounded against the surf and rocks. 

“Eli please,” Jolene sobbed, “say something. Anything. Just don’t look at me like that.”

Eli’s muscles jerked in discord as he turned to face Jolene. His heart pounded in his chest as his mind drew an image of Awan in the dreamscape and the awful finality of all their dreams came down around him in a million shiny shards, shredding his heart apart. “You’re the reason,” his voice was rough as if someone had run his throat through a grater. 

“I know you hate me,” Jolene cried, reaching out then shrinking in upon herself. “I’m sorry.”

A part of Eli wanted to comfort her while another part wanted her to feel his loss. His anger. His anguish. Wanted her to feel the pain of never being with her soulmate. The ugly, bottomless pit inside his heart where only Awan could fill and never could. And in that moment he truly knew what it meant to hate someone. What if felt to hate with every fiber of his being. He understood why someone would bully someone until they wished they were dead. Understood what motivated someone to destroy the hopes and dreams of someone else out of spite and jealousy. He wanted revenge. Cold. Brutal. Revenge.

“Eli,” Jolene’s voice was small, tinged with fear “say something. Please….”

“Why? Just tell me why?” 

She flinched from his cold, hard tone. “I was jealous. I was young and stupid and jealous. I wanted what you had. I wanted Awan. I thought he liked me. I ignored what Josie was telling me and what I could see. The bond the two of you had.”

“So you hated me so much you needed to destroy me. Awan.”

“No,” she shrank in upon herself “not intentionally. I never meant for Awan to leave. I didn’t think about what might happen. I just wanted to stop what was causing me pain.” She looked up “but I caused so much more sorrow by doing what I did.”

“He’s my soulmate,” Eli said sorrow replacing the lines of hatred from his face “did you know that? My soulmate. And I can never be with him.”

“You’ll be together. I know you will,” she said, taking small timid steps towards him. “You and I. We’ll find him together.”

“No, no we won’t,” he sobbed. “I promised I wouldn’t.”

“When?” Jolene demanded, coming to a stop in front of him.

“We met in the dreamscape,” he wrapped his arm around himself, “he’s engaged to someone else.”

“Who cares,” Jolene’s nostrils flared “he loves you. Not them. He’ll break his engagement if you ask him too. I know he would. He loves you.”

“You don’t understand,” Eli cried, turning away from her. “I promised I wouldn’t ask him to break his promise to his mother. I promised I would go on with my life. Marry. Have kids. I can never be with him.”

“Yes you will,” she cried, enveloping him in her arms. “I’ll find him. I promise I’ll find him.”

“Jolene don’t,” he mumbled “I promised him I wouldn’t.”

“But I didn’t,” she said with resolve. She made this mess and she was the one who had to fix it. “I don’t care about his promise to his mother. Or the promise you made to him. None of that matters. Not in the grand scheme of things.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Eli said, forming a resolve of his own. “I’m going to keep my promise to Awan and I want you to do the same. I’m going on with my life.” He took a deep shuddery breath “just like Awan’s going on with his.” He took Jolene by the shoulders “I don’t hate you. Not really. Not where it matters. But I need a little time…” He didn’t know how to finish. Time to process what she told him? Time to not be hateful? Time to accept? Maybe all of the above and then some.

“I really am sorry,” she took a step back, wiping at her eyes.

“I know you are,” Eli said “and I don’t hate you. I just need a little time.”

“I get it,” she said watching her brother walk away from her of what felt like a chasm she wasn’t sure could ever be closed between them. Sure he said he forgave her. Said he didn’t hate her. But could he really mean that if he was forever separated from his soulmate? “I’m going to fix it. They will be together,” she said it aloud, like a vow to all that was sacred and holy.

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