#tw comphet

[gwendoline-of-lumiose]

Would you be upset if you had a girlfriend instead?

...

[gwendoline-of-lumiose]

Are you straight?

...

Yes. Um. Why would I not be? Haha. Ha.

[bhramarii]

ARACHNOPHOBIA: or, my thoughts on how being a lesbian is a lot like being a brown recluse spider, actually!

[nonbinarychaoticstupid]

pseudohet really is the worst because it will just hand you random men to Be Attracted To™ and its just nicolas cage

[andawaywego]

At first glance that's irrelevant to THOBM, but I first learnt of this term thanks to THOBM and Dani's story so maybe not so much. Have you had experience with comphet? I hate it so, so, so bad. I have this part of my identity that makes me feel in tune with myself, I enjoy looking at women and having a whole board on pinterest devoted to women and then this thing comes and screwes everything up making me doubt everything. I hate it.

one of the things i really loved about THOBM was that it showed Dani experiencing compulsory heterosexuality, which is certainly an underrepresented experience in media even tho so many people have to deal with it at one point or another. i’m really sorry you’ve had to deal with that, love. i have had experience in it—fairly terribly, tbh—and i know how scary and homewreck-y it can be.

i won’t go into too many details, but both of my parents were Christian pastors when i was growing up, and not the fun kind. real “fire and brimstone” types. i liked girls and acted on it from a super young age, but obvs not openly. eventually, after trying and failing to come out to my mom about three times, i dated a guy friend of mine for about a year in a very sad attempt to be “normal.” it was rough and a really scary experience, feeling like i was torn between these two versions of myself. i’m really grateful to have gotten out of that situation and to be happily married to my lovely wife now, but it wasn’t that long ago despite my wishing it was. 

it still crops up sometimes, but it’s more of a whisper now—that sounds like my obnoxious father if i’m being honest. it’s gotten a lot easier to deal with. i hope you can experience that, too. 

apologies for possibly (definitely) oversharing! but if you ever want someone to lend an ear, i’m your gal.

[simonsqier]

Does anyone else feel this way?

I see a male character in a tv show or movie that I feel like I can relate to and I think he’s aesthetically pleasing, then I begin to freak out because if I find this although fictional man I find him good looking so that means I can’t be a lesbian. Then I look at attainable men like on dating apps and even out in public and none of them peak my interest at all. Am I just confusing admiration of a character for attraction or should I really start using a different label? Also, is it because they are big profile guys that I will never have a chance of even running into that I feel “safe” finding them good looking? please help.

[nevalizona]

Wish comphet didn't eat me alive and make me want to crawl into a hole. I literally cannot stand men yet my brain likes to be 'ur gonna have to marry a man! Only men like you. Men men men men men men. They scare you? You'll get over it one day. Since you have to marry a man. And carry his son into this Earth so his name can live on forever while urs dies out. You are nothing without a man in your life.' Like I'm suffocating here! Scary men in my life mean nothing anymore! Can I stop thinking about them? I do not care about their approval! They are creeps! Please if u r young don't let the myth that men r ur entire life eat u. U'll never out grow out of it and stay up late at night in a cold sweat crying about how much u don't like men and how ur so very afraid of their attention. Please don't make me marry a man. I am whole without a man! I am my own person! I exist I swear! And I do not need some creepy old men from my past to tell me that bc I already know!!! I matter! I am an entire person.