You know what (among many other things) grinds my gears about most homeschooling fundies? The vast majority of the people (women) that are doing the schooling were not raised homeschooled. They attended public school. They purport themselves to be these paragons of virtue for "protecting you from the immorality of public schooling". They teach you all the ways that public education will warp you, change your character, twist you into something unclean. And yet, that's how they were educated. On top of that, I've met a grand total of 1 parent, in all my time being educated, who actually had any background in teaching, all while being responsible for educating fundie children. A lot of them don't even have college degrees. In my state (deep south) there is ZERO oversight for homeschooling parents. My parents even cited that fact to me as a virtue. You don't have to answer to anyone about your curriculum, grades, treatment of the children, nothing.
Public school was always treated as a threat, both to me and to other children. It was always "If you don't do what I want then I'll be forced to send you to public school. Isn't that scary? You'll be out there all alone without me to guide you and you'll be so afraid." And you know what? I was. It worked. As soon as I had to interact with the real world I was terrified of what was out there. I thought every person I saw on the street would attack me or catcall me.
My mother always put so much emphasis on "making sure I had a full toolbox before putting me out into the secular world". Apparently that toolbox included bible verses, hymns, shame, judgement, and basically nothing else. I didn't know how to file my taxes, how to sign a lease, how to buy a reliable car, how to choose a partner that wouldn't hurt me, how to apply for a job, nothing. I learned all that on my own.
And the part that chafes me the most? No one else got out. I've gone on Facebook and looked at hundreds of profiles, kids I knew from co op or choir or even just met at church. Not a single one left. Almost every single one of them is married and popping out fundie babies as fast as they can. Bible verses as profile pictures, posing happily in front of their gaggle of children. I was the only one who got away. I cant help but wonder who they would've been if they had left? Would they be queer? Interested in playing a game of dungeons and dragons with me?
My partner has friends he's known since middle school, and his best friend he's known for almost 20 years. I'm so happy for him but there's also such a sense of profound grief when I realize I will never have that. No one I used to know would want to know me now. The queer. The heathen. The whore. The sinner they said they were supposed to accept.
