"Hey, what's with the glum mug?" Darcy nudged Charlie softly. She had been acting weird all day, staring off into the distance sad and thoughtful. But it was a different kind of sad- almost wistful and wanting. "Are you okay?"
Crutchie wasn't just staring off into the distance... not exactly. She hoped ot looked like that, so maybe she wouldn't just seem weird or something, but she was watching Davey. He had changed so much while ahe had been in the Refuge gone, offering soft familiar touches to the boys, laughing loudly at jokes and even making his own, not minding the ink and dust smudged on his face and arms... He was just one of them now. He wasn't even wearing a tie. When had that happened? He wiped a hand on his pants, and for a moment, she was consumed just thinking about that hand, wanting to hold it in her own... but she-
Darcy's voice snapped her out of her reverie real fast, causing her to jump, and for a moment, both blush and look pale at the same time, before settling for a rosier, embarassed look, as if she'd been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. She gulped and cleared her throat before giving a shrug that she hoped looked nonchalant as she tried so very hard to tug her gaze away from Davey's direction. "Jus' thinkin', I guess.." Her eyes strayed back to Davey as he gave Racer a gentle shove and her blush increased as she looked away, giving another shrug. "'m okay, enough, I reckon. Same as always." But Davey... There wasn't a romantic gleam to her, exactly, the way there often was with Jack. ... Or she didn't feel like there was. There was just... a sadness... a loneliness... an innocent, desperate wanting...
resfeber: nervous feeling before undertaking a journey
Chapter Summary: Iwaizumi and Oikawa slowly try to rebuild their friendship.
Pairings: Alpha!Iwaizumi x Omega!Oikawa
Word Count: 5427
Chapter Warnings: Mentions of sweet momma Kana, anxiety/panic, alcohol, oral sex (MatsuHana), pining idiots.
Rating: 18+
A/N: I’m sorry it’s taken so long to update. My muse decided to abandon me and I’m currently looking for a new one.
Miyagi, Japan – December 27, 2021
Iwaizumi cautiously makes his way down the hallway to the kitchen, his efforts are for naught when he sees his mother sitting at the kitchen table, sipping on her morning tea.
“You’re up early for someone who was up late.” She smiles, reminding Iwa just how much he’s missed being home. Lately Kana’s found her son asleep on his laptop, either at the kitchen table or the old study desk in his room, various papers printed and scattered across the wood surfaces.
He rubs the back of his neck, she wasn’t wrong and the little sleep he got isn’t helping stay awake right now. For the last few days, he’s been looking into what an incomplete bond means, trying to figure out what Emiko meant when she said that and why Oikawa looked so terrified for him to know. “I was just looking into something.”
Kana gives him a knowing smile, even though she had overheard Emiko’s shouting, she had already known. She picked up on it when she had seen Oikawa back when he first came to visit her while Hiroshi was out of town, plus Miyeko came to ask her if she knew anything since she was a nurse. Unfortunately, it’s not really known if incomplete bonds are rare or if they go unreported so all Kana could do is offer a shoulder for her friend to lean on and someone she could vent her frustrations to.
“Would you like some coffee or maybe some tea?” She gets ready to stand up before Iwaizumi waves her off.
“No thank you.” He points to the front door, “I’m going to head out for a run.”
“Okay. Be safe, Hajime.”
**
The sight of the familiar houses bring Iwaizumi a sense of nostalgia, remembering the hundreds of times he walked down this road. Fleeting memories of the times he went to and from school, late night walks from practice and summer days of running to the nearby lake to get a bit of relief from the heat. The sound of shoes hitting asphalt accompanied with heavy breathing fills Iwaizumi’s ears, quickly allowing him to get lost in his own thoughts.
There’s no way that libero wouldn’t complete a bond, I saw how he looked at Oikawa. Then who marked him? Why isn’t that Alpha with him? Why didn’t they complete it? How long ago did the bond happen? It didn’t look that old…
Iwaizumi lets out a breath, a white puff following as he looks both ways before dashing across the road. He adjusts his headphones before pulling his gray beanie further down over his ears, it’s a bit colder than he thought it would be this morning. A smile crosses his face when he sees an eldery couple walking on the other side of the street, throwing up a wave when they do the same and he wonders if he’ll have that one day.
If bonds are only formed during an Omega’s heat and it’s incomplete, could it be that he was forced? Was he attacked? What if he doesn’t know the Alpha? Maybe that’s why he doesn’t want to talk about it.
The mental image of a flushed and staggering Oikawa being randomly bitten by some strange Alpha starts to infuriate him, causing him to grit his teeth. The more thoughts that cross his mind, the more questions he finds himself asking without any clear answers, the angrier he finds himself. He starts running harder, breathing becomes faster, the sound of his heart starts thumping in his ears, all in hopes that he can clear his mind, extinguish the festering emotion boiling his blood.
He stops running, bending forward with his hands on his knees, closing his eyes as he tries to slow his breathing. He pulls the beanie off his head, tightly gripping it in his hand as he squats down, stomach feeling a bit unsettled. He’s not sure if it’s from the last thought about Oikawa or from not eating anything before running, especially since his light jog became a full out run. When he opens his eyes, he sees the tops of shoes, wondering how long this person had just been standing in front of him.
“Are you okay?”
“Pushed myself a bit too hard.” Iwaizumi pushes his hands against his knees as he stands up, feeling embarrassed when he realizes it’s Oikawa that’s been standing there, “what’s got you out so early?”
The Omega’s eyes slowly take in the Alpha, from the running tights that show how toned his legs are to the orange ¾ zip jacket that compliments his tanned skin. His cheeks heat up, though luckily for him the cold weather disguises it, “oh, uhm…just going on a walk.”
It feels a bit awkward between them. It’s the first time they’ve seen each other since Emiko’s outburst, though she did apologize to both him and Iwaizumi before returning home. Despite both their efforts, there’s no ‘how to be friends again after one of you gets half ass bonded’ manual and neither has ever been good with just simply talking to the other.
“Here.” Iwaizumi places the beanie on Oikawa’s head or at least attempts to, it was a bit hard to put a hat on someone you couldn’t even look at.
Oikawa adjusts it, tilting his head when he looks at the Alpha, “what’s this for?”
“Your ears are red.” Iwaizumi doesn’t have to look to know Oikawa has some silly grin on his face, he starts walking only to stop when he doesn’t see the Omega following him. “Thought you were going for a walk?”
He quickly closes the gap between them, “didn’t you just finish a run?”
“I’ll consider this a cool down.”
* *
Miyagi, Japan – January 2022
Oikawa sighs, staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars that he stuck to his ceiling when he was eight. He, along with Daisuke, were able to reconstruct the Phoenix constellation and he loved it, making sure he always left the curtains open so they’d glow all night. Then when he was twelve, Iwaizumi had helped him try to make the Pegasus constellation with the remaining stars they found in Oikawa’s study desk.
The real constellation had more stars than they did, but the Omega adored it anyway because they had done it together. His eyes trail over the faded stars, noting some had even fallen off throughout the years, wondering if they still even glowed. Not that he had noticed if they had since he came back to Japan - his mind was too occupied with other things.
I wonder if Iwa still has the stars on his ceiling.
Oikawa pops up, stumbling a bit when he rolls off the bed on his way to his closet. Quickly scanning the top shelf, he sees that a certain cardboard box is missing before he starts to panic. He rushes out of his room and into the living room, frantically searching for his mother who is nowhere to be found.
He tries to think of where it could’ve been taken, assuming maybe she had moved some things out of his room when he said he was moving back, unaware he wasn’t bringing everything back at once. He starts looking through the hall closets before pausing, seeing a cardboard box, but it didn’t say Iwa-chan like he wrote on it back in high school. No, this one had his name on it written in handwriting he hasn’t seen in years.
**
He walks three steps just to turn and walk back three steps, having paced the same small trail for the last ten minutes. If he had this box, did that mean that Iwa had his box? That box was never meant to leave Oikawa’s room, it had just been easier to put all of his best friend in a box rather than leave those things scattered throughout the room. A painful reminder that not only had their friendship ended, but there was now no hope of them ever being anything more.
Oikawa isn’t sure what to do. Should he open it? If it was anything like the box he packed up years ago, then it’s not meant for him to open. But what if it’s not? What if it wasn’t to try to hide the memories that hurt, but to erase the Omega from his life? Is that why Iwaizumi had packed up the box, to completely rid his life of him? He starts to panic, overwhelmed with the idea of being abandoned again, anxiety filling his lungs making it hard for him to catch his breath. Though if that was really the case, would the Alpha have gone out of his way to join him for walks in the morning?
He takes a deep breath, calming himself, still unsure of if he really wants to open his personal version of Pandora’s box. The Omega rationalizes to himself that maybe if he hadn’t always been so cautious with his childhood best friend, maybe their story would’ve been written a bit differently. That maybe, despite whatever he finds in the box, there’ll be a tiny bit of hope at the bottom, just like in Pandora’s myth. With trembling hands, he drags scissors across the top to break the tape seal and lifts the flaps of the cardboard box. They’re still stiff from lack of use, Iwa’s pheromones faintly cling to the box’s contents.
Oikawa slowly pulls out various photographs of their childhood together, remembering that he had shoved similar ones in his currently missing Iwa-chan box. A soft smile spreads over his lips, each of the captured memories play out in his head. Their trip to Okinawa with Iwaizumi’s family one summer break, they ended up with more sand than shells in their pockets. One with more of Oikawa’s hand than the two of them at the volleyball match that changed the direction of the Omega’s life.
He grabs a purple sea urchin plush, the one he got the Alpha from their field trip to the Osaka aquarium, claiming it looked just like Iwa. For being as old as it was, it wasn’t nearly as faded as Oikawa assumed it would be, wondering if it had been cared for all these years. Shaking away the thought, he pulls old faded arcade tickets that they had never redeemed and a long forgotten T-shirt from their middle school sports day, Oikawa’s name written largely across the front.
At the bottom of the box he finds various Godzilla figures along with ones of the other monsters like Mothra, Rodan and Mechagodzilla. But instead of the hope he thought he’d find waiting for him at the bottom, he just stumbles upon a deep sense of loss.
* *
Miyagi, Japan – Early February 2022
“I feel like the only people we’d want to see at a reunion like this are each other, why didn’t we just go to a restaurant?” Hanamaki asks, making a decent point.
“Someone thinks highly of himself.” Matsukawa teases his partner, knowing he’s playing with fire.
“Then who are you here to see?” Makki quickly snaps his head over to look at the Beta. He refuses to accept that Mattsun just said it as a joke, repeatedly side-eyeing his boyfriend whenever someone walks up eager to talk to him.
Iwaizumi lets out a deep breath, eyes fixed on the doorway waiting for Oikawa to walk through them. He wasn’t really up for a night filled with surface level conversations with half-drunk people he hadn’t seen since they graduated, but Matsukawa mentioned that Oikawa was coming, so here he is.
When he had been in Miyagi, there were a few times he was able to time his morning runs to end when Oikawa started his morning walks, reusing the excuse that it was his cooldown. Then one morning came where Oikawa never showed up, he didn’t see him until later than afternoon when Takeru was helping him out of the car, the Omega looking pretty out of it.
**
Oikawa runs his fingers through his hair. It’s longer than he’s ever had it before, trailing down his neck, just a few centimeters from touching the tops of his shoulders. He knows he should probably get it cut, but the idea of it being long enough to cover the mark is appealing. His parents were against him coming out tonight, trying but failing to convince him to just stay home, they’d have a movie night or order his favorite takeout. Shortly after Christmas, he started feeling a bit worse than he had in a while, chalking it up to the stress from Emiko’s outburst.
His doctor disagreed, saying it had more to do with him taking his Synfranil more often, suggesting the possibility that the pheromone supplement might have stopped working. He also stated that in the same way his body reacted negatively to Santiago’s romantic feelings towards him, his body could be doing the same to another Alpha’s feelings or it could be due to him having romantic feelings towards someone else. Oikawa tried to deny such an accusation, but when he went to therapy a few days later, his therapist refused to entertain his bullshit.
He isn’t sure how to face Iwaizumi now, he’s always known about his feelings for the Alpha, but he realized years ago, they weren’t meant to be acknowledged. Even if there was a small chance that Iwaizumi shared those feelings now, he doesn’t deserve them, after all he’s bonded to someone else. No proper Alpha would ever want some used Omega that will forever have a scarred reminder of some other Alpha. But he can’t stop himself from feeling a brief flutter in his stomach when he sees Iwaizumi, leaning against the bar as he waits for his drink, looking a lot cooler than Oikawa’s heart could handle.
“Hey, what’s wrong? You look a little pale.” Makki asks, gently nudging Oikawa’s arm.
“Noth–” Oikawa stops himself, realizing he can trust Hanamaki, that he can open up to his friend and things would be okay, “just some issues with my medicine.”
Makki ushers him over to the booth where Mattsun’s waiting before asking if he needs some water or maybe some crackers which gets a laugh out of Oikawa. He reassures the Beta that he’s fine, but that a green tea would be nice, filling in Matsukawa on what’s going on. They catch up briefly on what’s happened over the last few weeks. Mattsun tells him about the trip to an onsen he and Makki took for the New Year holiday and Oikawa brought up spending some time with Takeru when he stayed with them over his break.
“Look who I found.” Makki pushes Iwaizumi towards the table before telling Matsukawa there was someone at the bar who wanted to see him, practically dragging him away from the corner booth.
“Oh, this is yours.” Iwaizumi places the green tea in front of Oikawa, sliding into the seat across from him, chewing the inside of his cheek.
“T-thank you.” Oikawa nods before taking a sip. He starts to wring his hands together as his knee bounces underneath the table. Whatever comfort he felt when with Iwa during their walks weeks ago is now gone, the atmosphere feeling closer to how it was back when they met in December and his mark was shown.
**
Oikawa steps outside, breathing in the much needed fresh air before opting to lean against the brick building rather than going back inside. He was ready to go almost as soon as he got here, having hoped that the four of them would stick together. There really isn’t anyone that he really wants to see, no one that he really wants to catch up with because he doesn’t have the energy to keep up a conversation.
He takes in another deep breath through his nose, hoping it calms his nerves before pushing himself off the wall, heading back inside of the bar. When he opens the door, he’s practically hit with the overwhelming amount of pheromones since intoxication makes it a bit harder to keep them at bay while the loud and overlapping conversations wash over him. Oikawa pushes his way through the thick group, trying to get back to the booth he left Iwaizumi at, only to find it empty other than Hanamaki’s jacket.
**
Iwaizumi pulls out his phone, only to unlock it before slipping it back in his jeans without bothering to read the time. When Oikawa excused himself for some air, the Alpha had wanted to go outside with him, wanted to stay right by side, but they still aren’t really friends yet. He thanks the bartender for his beer, turning to head back to the booth so he’s there when Oikawa comes back, running straight into someone.
“I’m so sorry!” He grabs a handful of napkins, offering them blindly to the person in front of him.
“Hajime!?”
Confused, his head snaps up, “yes?”
She squints her eyes at Iwaizumi, trying to look tough before a peachy scent fills the space between them. A soft laugh escapes her lips as she watches the confusion wash away being quickly replaced with understanding.
“Himari!” He wraps his arms around her, reciprocating her embrace, “it’s nice to see you.”
“It’s really nice to see you, you look…” she swallows thickly, eyes lingering a bit too long on his biceps, “very well.”
He chuckles, “you look great yourself. Are you here with anyone?”
Her cheeks flush, it’d be a lie to say that she’s fully over the Alpha. She had meant it ten years ago when she told him that she’d probably always love him, he’ll always be her first love. “Just a few friends. You?”
His eyes scan the room, this time seeing Oikawa walking back towards their booth, too far to see the disappointment on his face when he realizes it’s empty. Himari follows his eyes, a huge cheeky smile spreads on his face, using her elbow to nudge his arm.
“Oikawa!? You’re here with Oikawa! You told him! Oh I’m so happy for you!” She starts bouncing up and down, excitement vibrating throughout her. It had hurt, back then, to tell him to go after the other Omega, the words all but burnt her tongue as they came out. She’s realized over the years that while she’ll always love him, there’s different types of love and she can’t spend her life wondering how things would be if they turned out differently.
He clears his throat, feeling a bit uncomfortable, taking a long drag of his beer before signaling to the bartender he’d like another. Himari clicks her tongue twice, picking up on his body language before motioning for him to lean down so she can tell him something in his ear before she whacks him in the back of the head.
“Are you serious? Hajime, do you not remember what we talked about when we broke up?” She taps her foot, irritation tangling with her peachy scent.
“We had a fight. We…well no…I said some pretty hateful things and then he left.” He shakes his head, “we just sorta reconnected after ten years.”
Her eyes widened, they had briefly remained in contact after graduation, but shortly into their first year of university communication ended. Never would she have thought they’d stop being friends, it just didn’t seem possible. “Then what are you waiting for? Telling someone you have always had feelings for them after all those years, that’s romantic.”
“It’s not that simple. There’s a lot that happened while he was in Argentina.” He runs his fingers through his hair, it’s not his place to tell her about his mark and to be fair, he doesn’t really want to. If it was entirely possible, he’d prefer to just erase the knowledge of said mark from his memory.
“It might not be simple, but definitely worth it, right?”
Iwaizumi’s feelings for Oikawa haven’t changed in all the years they spent apart. If anything, they somehow got stronger, the Omega has never been far from his mind for as long as he can remember. Iwaizumi wants to have a conversation with him, to at least become the person that Oikawa can rely on, but he doesn’t want to overwhelm him.
“I…I don’t know right now.” His eyes flicker over to the booth, vexed to see some Alpha sitting across from Oikawa, wondering if that cycle would ever end.
**
“I didn’t expect to see you here.”
The Omega can’t place the voice at first, tilting his head as he looks at the Alpha, but when the scent of saltwater starts to fill the booth, he instantly remembers. A brief smile crosses his lips, “Shio? What are you doing here?”
“Shio? I thought we were closer than that.” The Alpha winks, “I’d say the same as you, but I haven’t seen you mingling.”
Oikawa’s cheeks burn, clearly Shio Taichi is still just as big of a flirt as he was back in high school, though that’s where the similarities end. The Alpha isn’t the same lanky soccer player he was, instead he’s broader, more defined, but stillvery easy on the eyes. “I didn’t really keep in touch with anyone when I left Japan.”
“Tell me about it, you broke my heart.” Shio slaps his hand over his heart, dramatically leaning his head back, his other arm draped over his forehead, which just gets an eye roll from Oikawa.
“Surely there are better people for you to talk to.”
“Other people, sure. Better people, no way.” The Alpha leans forward a bit, brushing his thumb across the top of the Omega’s cheek.
Oikawa feels his face heat up, sitting back to get away from Shio’s touch. He lets out a slow deep breath, already feeling his stomach start to knot up as his head starts to ache. The Omega hates this, hates how his body constantly betrays him when it thinks he’s betraying an Alpha that abandoned him. How his body is constantly in a battle between physical needs and his mental state, neither easing up, but both taking a toll on the Omega.
**
“Hiro, we’re too old for this.” Matsukawa tries to say between sloppily kisses from his drunk boyfriend. Hanamaki is the type to get overheated once he’s started drinking which is what brought the pair outside. But he’s also the type to get a bit too touchy feely in public for Mattsun which led them to the secluded spot in the alleyway behind the bar.
The Beta either doesn’t hear or just ignores him, trailing wet kisses down Mattsun’s neck. Makki pulls back just enough for his boyfriend to see the mischievous flicker in his eyes before he drops to his knees, undoing the copper-colored button before using his teeth to drag down the zipper.
“Hiro, you need to quit.”
A dangerous smirk crosses Hanamaki’s lips, feign innocence in his golden-brown eyes when he looks up at him before glancing back down to the semi-hard erection in his hand. “Sure about that?”
Matsukawa’s jaw tense, ready to tell Makki to stop playing around, that they need to get back inside when the warmth from Makki’s tongue derails his train of thought. His head falls back against the concrete wall, inhaling sharply through his teeth as hands tightly grip the backs of Mattsun’s thighs. Any concerns of their current placement is lost the further Makki pulls him into his mouth, running his fingers through pink hair, pulling it off his forehead to see teary eyes looking up at him.
He knows when it comes to size, he’s decently bigger than average which never poses a problem until Makki gets drunk and overzealous, attempting to deepthroat the raven-haired Beta. Mattsun wants to stop him, but Makki only sucks harder, rubbing his tongue against the sides of his cock, making it hard for him to think of anything but the pleasure twisting in his lower stomach.
The sound of voices growing closer instantly pulls Mattsun from the bliss he’s melting in, promptly telling Makki to get up before they get caught. He doesn’t. Deciding instead to take all of his boyfriend, gagging as spit drips down his chin. Something snaps in Matsukawa, a mix of the voice just steps away and the way Hanamaki looks, tightly lacing his fingers in the pink locks before ramming his cock further down his throat, letting his orgasm wash over him without pulling back. As soon as he realizes what he’s done, he tries to apologize, but a blissed out Makki just looks up at him, mouth open, tongue hanging out, eyes begging to be praised and Mattsun, as always, obliges.
* *
Miyagi, Japan – Mid February 2022
“Did he say why he was coming?”
“No, just that he needed to talk.”
Oikawa glances towards the kitchen where Matsukawa and Hanamaki are attempting to whisper, something Makki had never truly been able to master. Mattsun makes awkward eye contact before walking back into the living room, handing the Omega a cup of coffee.
Makki walks over and flops down beside Oikawa on the couch, taking a sip of his own coffee. “So what's bothering you?”
“What he means to ask is everything okay?” Mattsun rolls his eyes at his partner’s lack of tact.
The Omega starts to wring his hands together, distress pheromones ripple off his shoulders, not that either Beta would be able to pick up on them. It’s not like it’s a hard topic to bring up, not like it was anything heavier than the mark on his neck, but he still found himself ready to bolt. He reminds them of Emiko’s outburst about his mark before informing them about the couple weeks they met up for walks. Part of him feels silly, it sounds like such a high school gossip session rather than adults talking.
“At the reunion…things just felt off.”
“I mean can you blame him?” Makki shrugs.
“I know I wasn’t completely upfront, but it wasn’t the easiest topic to bring up. It’s not like it’s some great badge of honor I want to show off to the world.” Oikawa knows it sucks, knows this whole situation is utter bullshit, but there’s still a large amount of shame that comes with it.
“It’s not from the amount of details, but the uh…mark itself.” Mattsun offers, “it really hurt him, ya know?”
“What do you mean?” Oikawa’s face becomes covered in confusion, completely unsure of what his friend meant. If Iwaizumi had been the one to show up wearing some Omega’s mark, it would’ve hurt, it would’ve been the end of the world for him, but that’s due to his unresolved unrequited love for the Alpha. Since Iwaizumi didn’t share those feelings, maybe the hurt was more due to the realization that they weren’t as close as before.
“I think that…” Matsukawa starts before Hanamaki quickly interjects, “you really need to get your shit together, ‘Kawa.”
“Excuse me?” Oikawa is used to Makki’s straightforwardness, but it’s never felt this icy before. It doesn’t feel like the typical friendly push it usually comes across as, but instead as something harsher, something close to a slap across the face.
“I think it’s best that you two just sit and talk.”
“But we…”
“Iwa has a tendency, like most, to fill in the gaps of things with his own details. All he has to go off of is you’re coming back home with a half completed bond, who knows what thoughts he is using to fill in the missing information.”
Hanamaki sits his mug down on the coffee table, sitting up a bit from his slouched position. “You don’t have to tell him anything you aren’t ready to, but just…” he takes a deep breath, “imagine if it was you and all you had to go off of about your childhood best friend’s return is that he’s kinda bonded to someone and all you can do is watch him struggle and be in pain.”
* *
Tokyo, Japan – Late February 2022
Iwaizumi looks at the half empty glass on the counter, lost somewhere in his thoughts. He’s unsure why things seem so hard when it comes to him and Oikawa. Why the two have felt like passing ships in a large ocean since they came back into each other’s life.
He knows he’s being ridiculous. That essentially pouting at what happened at the reunion is something that a 27 year-old shouldn’t really be doing. The Omega had always been popular, had always caught the eyes of those around him, but it felt different now. Before it was just a distant thought that Oikawa would meet some other Alpha, but now it was more than a thought. In fact now it was a very real possibility because the mark on his neck was evidence he had or has someone else.
That’s another thing that is bothering the Alpha, the lack of information he has about the bond. He tried to dance around the subject with his mom, figuring she had to know something, but Kana wouldn’t say. Matsukawa said he knew what Iwa knew while Hanamaki would just sigh heavily and tell him to ask the Omega himself.
He grabs the glass, downing the rest of the amber-colored liquid. He lets out a sigh wondering why people said life got easier after college when he was a mess years post-grad.
Ding! Ding!
XXX-XXX-XXXX: Hey. Hello.
Iwaizumi scrunches his face up, everyone that he knew was saved in his phone. Shaking his head he walks away from the phone, not planning on giving the unknown number another thought.
Ding! Ding!
Who the fu–
XXX-XXX-XXXX: Oh, sorry…it’s Oikawa…
XXX-XXX-XXXX: I got your number from your mom…hope that’s okay.
He snatches the phone off the counter, mouth drying as he accidentally kicks the bar stool. It’s only been a couple of weeks since the reunion, but he suddenly has so much to say and nothing to say all at the same time.
Iwaizumi: That’s fine!
That’s fine? Hajime, what the fuck? Is that…is that an exclamation point?!?! The Alpha contemplates banging his head against the nearby wall, but the thought is interrupted when another message comes through.
XXX-XXX-XXXX: I’m glad.
XXX-XXX-XXXX: Uhm..how have you been?
Iwaizumi: Just busy with work. You?
XXX-XXX-XXXX: fjeoHG689[‘fe
Iwaizumi stares at the message, trying to figure out if there was any way to decipher it. Several moments pass of the Alpha just looking at the screen before his phone starts ringing, the previously unknown number popping up.
“H-hello?”
There’s no immediate answer, just muffled voices and noises coming from the other line. He smiles a bit when Miyeko’s voice comes through, reminding her son to do something prompting the all too familiar whine remarking an “I know, Mom.”
He holds back a chuckle when he hears a gasp after more muffle sounds, the Omega realizing Iwaizumi has been on the other end for several minutes now.
“I–Iwaizumi?”
“Hey you.” The Alpha lets out a soft laugh, imagining Oikawa turning bright red as he scrambles to figure out what to reply. He hears Miyeko say something in the background before briefly hearing what sounds like Oikawa rushing his mother out of the room.
“I’m so sorry!” Oikawa starts to ramble on about how he didn’t mean to call and feels bad if he’s bothered Iwa in any way.
“I was just sitting here anyway. You didn't bother me at all.” You couldn’t bother me even if you tried.
The other end of the line goes quiet and for a moment, he thinks that the Omega has hung up before hearing, “oh. I’m glad.”
Iwaizumi’s cheeks start to burn, “yeah, me too.”
For the next hour the two exchange more than awkward small talk but nothing as deep as when they were best friends. Though it can be said that this conversation is a lot more relaxed and casual compared to the strained one they had a few weeks ago. It feels comfortable, reminiscent of how things were back as kids, back when things were just…easy.
When Iwaizumi suggests ending the call, Oikawa protests, each one broken up by his yawn furthering the Alpha’s point that it’s getting late. He can hear the pout in the Omega’s tone, cute, he thinks. It takes three promises that he’ll text him in the morning before Oikawa will agree to hang up.
He smiles at the phone, a warm and giddy sensation filling his chest as he makes a quick edit to the text thread that’s opened changing XXX-XXX-XXXX to Oikawa.
Radiant is what you think during your final year of middle school, when you happen to end up at a track event with a few friends, figuring watching it would be better than just going home. Then you see her from the corner of your eye, elegantly gliding over each hurdle, her black hair tied back in a ponytail flowing behind her, sheer determination on her face. It doesn’t take long or much for your breath to be taken away, a little more with each hurdle that she clears, leaving to wonder if love at first sight is an actual occurrence because cupid’s arrow has definitely struck you.
Radiant is what you think when you see her sitting in the desk next to yours, thanking whatever entity is out there for the new seating chart, thinking it’s fate just like when you saw her at the entrance ceremony realizing you both were attending Karasuno. It’s hard to get her to open up at first, getting mostly silent nods and short worded answers, then one day, a few weeks into your attempt to befriend her, you see a bottle of juice sitting on your desk, immediately knowing it’s from her. A few days ago, you were trying to strike up a conversation with her and accidentally bought orange peach juice, one you don’t particularly care for, but as you hold the bottle from her in your hand, it’s suddenly not that bad of a flavor.
Radiant is what you think as she comes back to the classroom, face slightly flushed, telling you that Daichi had suggested for her to manage the men’s volleyball team and she accepted, watching the blush on her cheeks redden more when you tell her that you know she’ll do amazing. She does, you watch her put her all into her studies through the school day and then put even more into the team. She does everything that she can for the team, you can’t help but admire her even more, a proud smile on your face through the years as the team slowly grows, the members, especially Tanaka and Noya, looking out for her just as she looks out for each of them. You see just how happy she looks when she sees that Yachi is going to do just fine being the team manager after she graduates, knowing the boys are being left in capable hands.
Radiant is what you think while looking at her through the phone screen as you take a picture of her with the volleyball boys, including a very reluctant Tsukishima, nothing but pure joy on her face as she smiles, holding her diploma tightly against her chest. Your heart lodges itself in your throat as she hands her phone to Sugawara, asking him to get a picture of the two of you. You told yourself that just being her friend is enough, but when her shoulder brushes against yours, it takes all you can to swallow down a hasty confession. Catching the sympathetic smile on Ennoshita’s face from the corner of your eye, sometimes you really hate how easy he is to talk to, how he makes you instantly feel comfortable opening up, he’s the only person you ever admitted your feelings for her to, mostly because being her friend didn’t really justify why you were at every single volleyball event.
Radiant is what you think or it’s what you want to say when she asks you how her outfit looks, Tanaka finally asking her on a proper date rather than a spontaneous proposal like he did your second year of high school. You give her a bit of a forced smile, hoping she doesn’t notice as you tell her that he’d be blind not to see how beautiful she looks. An almost guilty feeling tangles itself into a knot as she tells you how excited yet nervous, she is about the date, thanking you again for helping her get ready and encouraging her to go because no matter how hard you try, you just can’t fully be happy for her, wishing it was you taking her out. As the door closes behind her, your goodbye echoing in the now silent apartment, you remind yourself you are the one who said friends are better than nothing, that you were the one who backed yourself into a corner with no way out. She deserves to be happy, deserves to be shown off, so who were you to ruin that by admitting feelings you’d been burying for her? Who were you to take away one of the longest friendships she has just to fulfill selfish desires?
Radiant is what you think looking at the various pictures around the room of her and Tanaka, mapping out their relationship of three years, from the awkward first date picture with his thumb too far in the frame to the one of them in Okinawa where he proposed, up to the most recent which had been engagement photos. Over the span of their relationship, you told yourself that you’re still fine with the arrangement you made with yourself to simply support her from the sidelines, that as long as she has the best, who were you to take it away, but that doesn’t stop it from hurting. It doesn’t end the ache in your chest as you see her give Tanaka a smile you’ll never get or how effortlessly she just fits in his side as if it’s the only place she’s ever belonged. You give Ennoshita a small smile as he tells you the glass of orange peach juice is from her and you shake your head, the juice now just has a bitter taste to it and if this had been some cheesy romance movie, a tear of yours would’ve fallen in the cup.
Radiant is what you think walking into the dressing room to see her in her wedding dress, it truly compliments her elegance, her long hair is being pinned up by Yachi, whose eyes are already teary. Her eyes light up when she sees you’re finally there, grabbing your hands, telling you how thankful she is that you made it a point to be friends with her and that you’ve stuck beside her through everything over the last several years. You have to quickly turn away, swallowing down the confession that threatens to spill out after hearing her tender words, excusing yourself to get changed. It was a bit bittersweet when she asked you to be part of the bridal party, to be her right-hand through everything, but you did, simply because she had asked you to. Over the years you’ve put yourself through a lot, wondering if you’re a masochist, thinking that her smile would simply be enough to sustain your feelings, to justify everything you’ve gone through, but today you decide too finally be selfish. There’s no doubt in your mind the reception will be lovely, but after Tanaka reads his vows and just as she starts, you slip out of the ceremony, listening to her say her vows isn’t something you could handle.
Radiant is what you think as you scroll through the five new pictures she’s uploaded of her little family with Tanaka and their three-year-old, the sporadic uploads of hers are the only way you really see her life anymore. It’s not that uncommon for adult friendships to be random texts after weeks of radio silence, to see life events online rather than in person because as an adult, things are hectic and busy, but you made it this way. You left Miyagi for Kyoto, taking a job offer you’d been offered a handful of times, finally realizing your reason for staying - her - isn't valid anymore because she has Tanaka and a child now, meaning your feelings could never surface. The distance isn’t as bad as you built it up to be in your head, the space allows you much needed breathing room, though feelings still linger, and probably will for a while. You only have a few more minutes of your lunch break, glancing back at the picture on your screen you feel a slight pang in your heart, but everything you’ve done over the years is still worth it because all you want is to keep her smiling, the pictures proof of that, looking at it long enough for the screen to time out, staring at your reflection on the black screen. You wonder just how long unrequited love can last, trying to think of a way out of this one-sided love alive, laughing to yourself when you see she’s just sent you a text before you slip your phone in your pocket, realizing it’ll just take a series of baby steps and now seems like a good time to start.
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Latino!Bronte is something I did not expect. But now I can't get it out of my head.
Here I am, wondering if I can combine Latino!Bronte, Halfhuman!Bronte and Pyrenbros!Bronte into one acceptable backstory without it being weird as well as wondering why I can't MAKE SOMETHING THAT IS FUCKING ORIGINAL FOR A CHANGE???????????????????????????
actually is a headcannon that ancients hear better that normal elves original? No?
Okay... what if we upped it a notch? Ancients can hear a specific type of noise better than normal elves according to their personalites.
Like, an ancient who likes music would hear music better? idk
Now Bronte angst headcannon. It conflicts completely with my original ones. You can choose which one you like.
Bronte had manipulative parents but he persuaded himself that they only wanted the best for him. Translation: it worked.
He totally overworks himself. Like actually. The other councillors taking him for granted and just giving them his work doesn't help.
He has social anxiety. He's scared he's going to mess up something near others so every day is a living hell.
Gets fucking walked over. Like, he tries to pretend he's tough, but in reality he's that one guy that says nothing and follows everyone's orders.
Not helping his repression.
Has a big fucking crush on Emery but says nothing about it because he's scared that it'll ruin their friendship.
But because of that he's always sad.
Like, all he wants is to be loved. But he's scared he'll get rejected and lose his will to live.
Some people follow their head and some follow their hearts, Bronte is a 'follow the head' person, but that doesn't mean the heart doesn't shut the fuck up.
But anyway.
He specially hears people talking. Like he hears any human or elvin voices in a 10-mile radius.
Like once he was trying to sleep and heard some couple making out. Poor guy.
Apparently my brain wants Bronte to be a horse whisperer now. Okay. That's what his parents did for a living. Breed horses.
Because elves lived like humans in the Middle Ages. Idk.
i suck what
EHHHHH
WHAT IF...
KOTLC ENCANTO AU
Abuela: Fallon bcs old
Julieta: Ramira idk just gives off mom vibes
Bruno: Fintan bcs he has a poor reputation
Pepa: Velia bcs she's a guster and pepa controls the weather
It’s art class. Fourth period. Lunch is next. It’s the beginning of class. Far and I share a two-person table. I’m on the left, she’s on the right. We’re talking about something that I can’t remember at the moment.
“So, yeah. I don’t really like hugs. They make me uncomfortable and stuff,” I say to her, glancing up from my art project for two seconds. “I think there’s someone you would like to hug,” she says, eyeing me in a way that I didn’t understand at that moment (because I’m an oblivious idiot). “Uh- I mean I’m fine with you hugging me it’s really-“ I spit out, not 100% meaning it, thinking that’s what she meant. She cuts me off with “I’ll write the name on my paper”. I watch her put the letters on the paper. They spell out His name. I abruptly look the opposite direction, short hair falling over my face, feeling the blush slowly start to creep up on that area, hoping the hair stays there. It does.
“Pfffffft. No!” I say, rejecting what she’s hinting at. “Just ask him out already!” “NO!!” I whisper shout, not wanting anyone to hear since she said that pretty loudly. “I’m not good enough for him anyways,” I mutter under my breath, hoping she doesn’t hear me. She does. “He would totally say yes! And if he didn’t, he’s not good enough for you.” “N-“ I start, not being able to finish when Far interjects “I will lock you both in here if I have to!” “Nononono!!” Far notices the hair over my face.
“Chloe, are you blushing?” Shoot. “NO” “Oooooo Chloe’s bluuuuusssshhhhinnnggg” “SHHHHHHHHHHH!! No I’m not!!” I say, definitely blushing. She’s smiling really hard. “Move your hair!” “I’ll do it in two minutes,” I groan, not wanting to. It’s silent at our table for 39 seconds or so. Far starts talking about her art project. “It just doesn’t look good!” “It looks beautiful!!” I say, looking at her eye-appealing teal value scale. “If I say it’s beautiful, will you get your hair out of your face?” At this point, there’s about 8 minutes left of class. I smirk as I don’t feel the heat of a blush on my face. “Fine” “It’s beautiful.” I move my hair out of my face and exclaim, “HA! It went down!” Not wanting to announce that I was blushing. Far stands up and starts walking away to put up her stuff. “Your blush might have gone down, but your affection hasn’t”.
A colored pencil hits the floor.
The Pining Diaries tag list: @entpscarleharrrr @iris-sanders-athena @erneforpresident @ashlynrivers (Please let me know if you want to be added or removed!)
Chapter Summary: IwaOi’s world get bigger once they start high school. How will Oikawa handle the boundaries that Iwaizumi tries to set and will Iwaizumi take it when Oikawa starts dating?
Pairings: Alpha!Iwaizumi x Omega!Oikawa
Word Count: 4172
Chapter Warnings: Jealous. Pining. Mentions of a brief panic attack.
Series Rating: 18+ Tag list: Open (send an ask to be added)
Japan – 2009/2010
Though when they go to high school, things rapidly start to change between the two. It started off when Iwaizumi got more irritated with Oikawa’s nickname for him, saying they were too old for childish nicknames. He started telling Oikawa that he wasn’t allowed to sit with his head on his shoulder in public anymore and that he couldn’t just walk up behind him and wrap his arms around him. That he couldn’t just whine and get his way when it came to Iwa anymore.
Oikawa wasn’t sure what sparked the sudden changes until he overheard Iwaizumi talking to other Alphas. He had planned on joining them until his name came up and Oikawa stops and just listens.
“I don’t know how you do it, Iwaizumi.”
He just shrugs, “we’ve been friends since we were little.”
Friends? Only friends?
“Still, how are you ever gonna find an Omega smelling like that?” A fellow first year says.
“Someone shinier will catch his eye and I’ll be fine.” Iwa shrugs again.
The bell for class rings, preventing the conversation from going any further, but Oikawa had heard enough. He still isn’t sure what his feelings mean, but he has always thought that Iwa felt the same, that he got butterflies too. But with what he’s just heard, he can’t help but think maybe Iwa finds him more of a burden than anything else.
Someone shiner will catch his eye. Iwaizumi’s words play over and over in his mind as he walks to class. Is that how his best friend saw him? Just someone with a short attention span, moving from bright thing to bright thing like a small kid on a playground? Or did he see him as some young and immature friend? Friend. Just thinking of that word makes Oikawa feel ill and remembering how easily it slipped off Iwaizumi’s lips made him feel like crawling in a hole.
“It’s him!”
“It’s Oikawa!”
“He’s so dreamy!”
Oikawa looks around before finding a small group of mostly Omegas but a few Betas whispering and all becoming more flustered when they noticed they had his attention. He smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes as he makes his signature peace sign causing them all the laugh and giggle before heading to class. If Iwaizumi thinks that Oikawa just goes to the newest toy in the toy box, maybe that’s how he’ll act from now on.
* *
Iwaizumi is getting more and more irritated before he finally slams his water bottle down. If he was anywhere near Oikawa, he instantly got a headache from the obnoxious pack of fans Oikawa seems to have acquired. They followed him everywhere; to the vending machines, to his locker, to class, to lunch, to practice and all the way to the school gate when it was time to head home. The giggles and overlapping voices were all enough to drive the Alpha up a wall and what didn’t help was Oikawa’s scent.
Alphas, Betas and Omegas all have distinctive scents and the type of scent varies on the sub-gender. Iwaizumi was once told that his scent is the same as dirt after it rains, a fresh but earthy scent. Most Omegas have a sweet scent like flowers, fruits or candies, and like with everything else in life, Oikawa just has to be different.
Oikawa had a rare smell for an Omega; he smells like honey. Being rare, it came with two-sides of the same coin. Betas and other Omegas found it calming making him a central spot for comfort whereas it was highly desirable to Alphas which meant there would be a line of Alphas trying for his attention. Others with a honey scent stayed away from large crowds to decrease any issues that could arise, but Oikawa isn’t like many and is constantly the center of some group.
It drives Iwaizumi crazy with how reckless Oikawa tends to be and he’s almost positive if it wasn’t for them spending so much time together and his scent on Oikawa, there’d be more issues. Especially since these groups of fans constantly compliment and praise him making the scent he gives off even sweeter.
Oikawa looks at Iwaizumi, finally registering that he slammed his water bottle. “Is Iwa-chan okay?”
Iwa stands up, shoving his chair into the table, “I told you not to call me that.”
Through his life Iwaizumi has been used to Oikawa’s charm and how the aftermath of that charm was constant attention from others. But it was the annoying chirping of voices that flooded over his senses that drove him mad. The sounds weaseled their way into his subconscious and ate away at him. His whole life, Iwaizumi has never felt he was good enough to stand next to Oikawa, or more so that he didn’t let himself feel like he was enough.
That is practically unheard of from an Alpha; feeling that they couldn’t equally stand next to an Omega. But the thing about Oikawa is he stands in a league of his own, sub-gender status be damned. So how dare he allow himself to feel so insecure over an Omega that didn’t look in his direction. The very same Omega that only seems to care about is the attention giving Beta or Omega in front of him. At least there haven’t been any Alphas.
One day it will be an Alpha, Iwa.
He kicks the vending machine in front of him, getting a few unfriendly glances from those around him. He sighs, grabbing his drink from the machine before walking back towards the courtyard where they’d be eating lunch.
Iwaizumi watches Oikawa basking in the attention from the group that’s constantly around him. He’s in his element, the center of attention is basically Oikawa’s middle name. It’s moments like these when Iwaizumi realizes that Oikawa is just fine without him; shaking his head he walks towards the gym, the only place he actually holds Oikawa’s attention.
He’s not clueless on the fact that Oikawa will eventually meet an Alpha or two, that he’ll mate with someone, share a mark with someone; he just wishes that it would end up being him. He remembers a time when being with Oikawa was easy, when being just friends was easy, before expectations and realities blew through their world like a hurricane wrecking everything in its path. Winds came through and blew away the lines that were drawn then rain came and washed away the childish nature of hand holding, intertwined legs and stolen glances that lasted too long. Then the worst part came, the eye of the storm, allowing Iwa to safely embrace those massive changes at least until the storm returned, leaving him confused and alone.
To the large group of fans surrounding him, it looks as though he’s just smiling and being friendly, but on the inside, Oikawa is counting. He knows if there’s no one at the vending machine it takes Iwaizumi around 148 seconds to come back and if he has to wait, it’s closer to 272 seconds. Oikawa knows Iwaizumi like the back of his hand, but here he is, close to 400 seconds and there’s no Iwa-chan coming back. Panic settles in his chest, anchoring itself as it wraps around his ribs like roots because no matter how much he looks around, he can’t find him.
For as long as Oikawa can remember, Iwaizumi has never been more than two steps away from him; always within arm’s reach. The Omega has taken comfort in that over the years, getting accustomed to the Alpha always being where Oikawa needs him. Internally, he knows it’s not rational to fret, they are at school and Iwaizumi is safe. But externally, his scent is starting to heavily coat the air and space around him, his body naturally sending out a distress call.
Hanamaki and Matsukawa share a brief look, as Betas they couldn’t pick up on scents but they could see an increase in Alphas gathering around and the anxious fiddling Oikawa was doing with the bottom of his shirt. Hanamaki gets up, scanning the courtyard before he spots Iwaizumi, breaking out in a quick jog.
“Oikawa needs you.”
Iwaizumi shakes his head, “I’m sure he doesn’t. He has his fan group.”
Hanamaki suppresses an eyeroll, grabbing Iwa’s shirt, “random Alphas are starting to show up, it seems he’s upset.”
Panic coats Iwaizumi’s face as he sprints back to where Oikawa is, immediately picking up on the almost suffocating scent the Omega is letting off. He pushes pass a few people before reaching out, grabbing Oikawa’s arm as he calls out his name.
Oikawa turns around quickly, throwing his arms around Iwaizumi, the weight in his chest disappearing as he breathes in the earthy scent the Alpha has. Iwaizumi wants to pull him off, to tell him that they are at school and it’s not appropriate, but all he can do is wrap an arm around the shaking Omega.
“Iwa-chan, I got so worried! You didn’t come back in time.” Oikawa buries his face into the curve of Iwa’s next, his nose brushing the Alpha’s scent glands. Iwaizumi notes that Oikawa’s scent is starting to get back to normal now, a few of those gathered around wondering off.
“It’s almost time for class.” Iwaizumi tries to pull away but Oikawa doesn’t let him, holding him tightly. “Oi! Dumbass, let go.”
“Just a minute more, Iwa-chan,” he pulls back looking at Iwa who notices the Omega’s eyes are red from crying. “Please.”
Iwaizumi lets out a deep sigh before nodding, he knows he shouldn’t, not if he’s ever going to be able to let Oikawa go, to even let himself be happy with someone else, but this one time couldn’t hurt, right?
But he couldn’t have been more wrong, for the almost month that followed that incident, Oikawa seemed to all but cling to the Alpha. The boundaries that Iwa tried to set when they entered high school went completely out the window, Oikawa always had some part of him touching Iwa no matter where they were. If they were at lunch, his head was on his shoulder, walking home from practice, his arm was either looped with Iwa’s or their shoulders constantly brushed against the others. The only place he was safe from Oikawa was practice, but he was almost certain Oikawa would figure out a way to be clung to him there too.
“Where’s Oikawa?” Iwa asks, already irritated that the Omega is late to walk to practice.
Matsukawa shrugs, but it’s Hanamaki who points over to the courtyard. The three all look as some Omega stands in front of Oikawa, nervously shifting her weight between her feet. He flashes her his signature smile which seems to just make her even more nervous. The other three watch as she digs through her bag, pulling out a small box.
“Is that…” Matsukawa starts to ask before Hanamaki answers him, “a love confession? Yup.”
Iwaizumi stands there, not liking the way his stomach flops when he watches this girl extend both arms out, a candy box in her open palms. He starts to worry, panic even that Oikawa will accept the confession, would he? Why wouldn’t he? He swallows thickly, tightly gripping the railing in front of him, knuckles turning white. The Alpha won’t admit it, but he’d trade places with her in a heartbeat, to be able to have the courage to tell Oikawa her feelings is what Iwa’s jealous of the most.
Oikawa gives her a sympathetic smile and the other three know immediately how he’s responded, the two Betas quickly catching the relief that washes over Iwaizumi. He steps forward when the female Omega’s head drops, her shoulders shaking slightly before Oikawa wraps her in a hug. They aren’t sure what he said to her, but she quickly jerks her head up, nodding it repeatedly before she walks off.
* *
Practice has been over for a while, but Iwaizumi is still waiting by the gym doors for Oikawa to finally come out of the locker room. For a brief moment he’s tempted to leave the Omega behind, but he knows the dumbass would probably get distracted locking up and end up practicing serves again.
“I’m ready to go, Iwa-chan!”
Iwaizumi shakes his head, slightly annoyed at the sing-songy way he’s said the nickname Iwa has all but demanded he stop using, but also glad that it’s something only he can have from Oikawa.
Oikawa picks up his pace until his shoulder is brushing Iwa’s, linking his arm through the Alpha’s, causing him to stumble as he pulls him closer. Iwaizumi doesn’t want to bring up the love confession he witnessed, to be fair he’d lost count on how many Oikawa had gotten this semester alone, but it felt like an elephant in the room.
“What was that, your fifth confession this week?” Iwaizumi tries to let it come off playfully, but between his scent being tangled with worry and his dry tone, it falls flat.
He nuzzles his face against Iwa’s arm, “Iwa-chan’s the only one I need.” You’re the only one I want even though I’m terrified to actually tell you that.
He wants to let those words reassure him that for some crazy reason Oikawa feels the same way about him. He wants those words to mean exactly what they sound like, to hold a deep meaning and not just some basic playful remark. But he can’t do that because he knows they are just empty words that Oikawa doesn’t realize actually hurt more than they comfort because Iwaizumi knows Oikawa can’t possibly feel the same.
“You could’ve at least given her a chance, she seems nice.” I don’t mean that, I don’t want you to do that.
“You want me to date some Omega because she seems nice?” But I don’t want her, I want you.
“Date whoever, I don’t care who.”
Oikawa snatches his arm from Iwa’s, a pissed off expression meets Iwa’s nonchalant one. “Maybe I will then.”
“What do I care?” He regrets the words as soon as he lets them slip out of his mouth, but the alternative, confessing himself just isn’t an option.
“Fine! Maybe I’ll find an Alpha that’s better than you!” He shouts, a bitter scent radiates off of him. Fuck, I didn’t mean that.
“Go ahead and try.” Don’t you know that’s my biggest fear? I know it won’t be hard for you to.
* *
It’s just a few weeks later that Oikawa makes good on his words, well kinda. It wasn’t an Alpha, but he did finally accept the confession from a Beta. And while he smiles and takes the chocolates offered to him, something in him feels empty, even though accepting someone’s confession should make you feel full and happy.
It doesn’t take long for word to spread and before lunch, Iwaizumi has already learned that Oikawa is “off the market” as his fan group put it. He sat and listens as everyone complains about the Beta he’s chosen, how she’s not fitting for him and Iwa agrees, but simply because it’s not himself.
“Iwa-chan! I have someone for you to meet!” The Omega smiles, almost singing the words that he’s saying.
The Alpha just lets out an annoyed grunt, Hanamaki and Matsukawa offer somewhat smiles to the shy Beta that’s clinging to Oikawa’s side.
“This is Yui-chan!” He smiles as he gently pulls her to sit down next time, but it’s one of his fake smiles. She politely waves to the other three before she starts to eat her lunch, engaging in small talk with Oikawa and the Betas.
Iwaizumi mentally checks out of the conversation, not really caring where she’s from or which class she’s in. Maybe it was him feeling full of himself or the fact that he knew Oikawa better than anyone, but he already had a strong feeling that Yui wasn’t going to be around that long.
**
As the weeks pass, Iwaizumi wonders if he has read the everything wrong. If Oikawa had actually been serious about finding someone better than him, even if this person was a Beta.
Yui has become a regular at their lunch table, she walks with Oikawa during breaks and meets him at his locker, she’s become a staple at their volleyball games. Iwaizumi watches as Oikawa eats up the attention that she gives him, the attention that Iwa had been giving Oikawa since they were little, the attention the Omega clearly had been overlooking.
There’s a feeling burying itself in Iwa’s chest, jealousy. Jealous that Yui gets to cling to Oikawa, jealous that she can hold his hand and kiss his cheek. Matsukawa raises an eyebrow as he watches Iwa start to shake his head, an attempt to erase the thoughts. If that’s who Oikawa’s wants, why should he care? He shouldn’t, there’s plenty of Omegas out there and people don’t stay friends forever so their friendship was bound to end, right? Iwaizumi likes to think of himself as an Alpha who isn’t all for the traditional relationship standards that are set on Alphas and Omegas. He likes to think that he’s meant to find someone that can be his equal and he knows that it’s not possible to have that with Oikawa. Oikawa is in a league of his own, even as an Omega, he has a strong presence and commands the room, Iwaizumi would fall into his shadow and as much as he tries not to let his sub-gender dictate his emotions, his Alpha nature refuses to accept that.
**
“Iwaizumi-kun!”
He turns around, seeing Yui waving at him as she runs over to him and he sighs. It’s been close to three months since Oikawa accepted Yui’s confession, it’s taken longer than he’d admit but he was finally okay about the whole thing, he simply refuses to allow himself to care anymore.
He nods as she gets closer before he turns his attention back to the contents of his locker, hoping she was just passing by and felt obligated to say hello since he was Oikawa’s best friend.
“Iwaizumi-kun,” she leans her back against the locker next to his, tilting her head to the side as she tries to see his face, “you don’t like me, do you?”
He freezes, the notebook in his hand hits his foot before falling on the ground. He finally looks over at her, “huh?”
She gives him a soft smile, one he doesn’t deserve because he knows he’s been nothing but rude to her, well not outright rude, but his demeanor and attitude was icy towards her. Yui pushes off the locker, rocking on her feet, back and forth, “if I was in your position, I don’t think I’d like me either.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He turns away from her, squatting down to pick up the notebook.
“You like Oikawa.”
His feelings for the Omega have always been silent, unspoken, but somehow hearing them spoken so casually made the reality of the situation hurt that much more. He slowly stands up, clenching the notebook a bit too hard, the pages crinkle under his fingers.
“I really don’t know what you’re talking about.” He closes the locker, harder than he intended, the Beta flinching at the loud bang.
“I’m not going to say anything. It’s not my place to tell him your feelings.”
Iwaizumi doesn’t say anything, his head hanging down, eyes staring holes into his shoes. Why did hearing her say all of this hurt? Why was she being so kind to him when he couldn’t return that kindness? How was he supposed to tell her that it wasn’t that he doesn’t like her, but he just doesn’t think she’s right for him?
“It…it’s just not that simple.”
She gives him a sweet smile, one that reminds him of how warm the sun feels on his face during the summer. “I know.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, we can’t help who we have feelings for.” She placing a comforting hand on his upper arm, “you have it the hardest, watching him fall for other people.”
He lifts his head up to speak, but Yui is already halfway down the hallway, happily waving to their fellow classmates. He presses his forehead on the locker door, letting out a deep breath, trying to calm down. Externally he seems calm, maybe even a little tired, but internally he’s a mess and a half. If he couldn’t tell Oikawa his feelings, if he chose to stay in friends only, would he be able to watch Oikawa fall in love with someone else? How long would he be able to stay by his side, helping him through heartbreaks and crushes before it just became to overbearing for the Alpha?
* *
Those questions seem to dig deeper into him over the next several months. Shortly after Yui and Iwaizumi spoke, she ended things with Oikawa blaming it on her mother’s job transfer and the fact she was moving soon, but based on the small nod she had given him in the hallway, Iwa had a feeling she was trying to help him. Oikawa simply brushed it off and Hanamaki refused to pass up every chance to joke that Oikawa had been dumped.
For a bit, things felt like they went back to normal, just the four of them hanging out together and Oikawa found his place back by Iwaizumi’s side, even if it wasn’t in the same way it had been with Yui. For now, Iwa just wanted the Omega to need him, to depend on him. Then Oikawa got another confession and he seemed to rotate through various Betas and Omegas every few weeks.
For some reason this time it really hurts Iwaizumi to just watch Oikawa give the same kind of attention to multiple people, to see Oikawa just effortlessly switch between people when Iwaizumi couldn’t imagine looking at anyone the way he looks at Oikawa. Maybe that’s what it means to stay friends with someone you feel so deeply for? To swallow down the burning sensation to scream, to pretend that he fully supported whoever Oikawa decided to settle down with.
* *
“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa rushes into the Alpha’s room, not bothering to knock as always.
Iwaizumi doesn’t respond, he rolls over, grabbing his spare pillow and pressing it against his ear to muffle out the energetic chatter coming from the brunette. It is Sunday, it is early, but most important it is his only day off and he just wants to sleep in. Suddenly he feels a heavy weight on his side, realizing that Oikawa is sitting on his hip.
“Iwa-chan! Wake up!” Oikawa starts bouncing, further irritating Iwa, who throws the pillow at Oikawa as he shifts underneath him, sitting up.
Iwaizumi rubs his eyes before registering that Oikawa is sitting on his lap now, the back of the Alpha’s neck starts to burn. “What do you want, Shittykawa?”
Oikawa’s eyes widen, he places a hand on his chest as he gasps, “is that any way to talk to your heart broken best friend?”
“You don’t look that broken up about whatever you’re talking about.”
“I got stood up,” he pretends to sniffle but gets zero sympathy from Iwaizumi. The truth is that Oikawa cancelled the date, in fact he had ended the relationship a few days ago with Ryu, but didn’t bother to say anything.
He didn’t know how to explain it, but no matter who he dated, no matter how many relationships he got into, he just felt empty. None of them had given him that carefree and bubbly warmth that he gets around Iwa, that feeling that time both freezes and speeds up when they are together. He knows that any minute Iwaizumi will shove him off his bed, he’ll grumble about having been woken up, but he won’t make Oikawa leave. Instead Oikawa knows that Iwaizumi will get up and dressed and spend the day with him which is what he’s been wanting for months.
**
Iwaizumi grabs his phone and wallet, reaching out a hand to pull Oikawa off the floor, the ever so dramatic Omega refused to get up after he was pushed to the floor. The Omega has a bounce in his step now, the two walking outside, the autumn breeze sending a chill around them.
“You haven’t done that in a while.”
“Done what?” Oikawa looks up at Iwaizumi.
“Smile a real smile.”
Oikawa turns his head away quickly, blush covering his cheeks before he interlocks his arm with Iwa’s, pressing his face into the Alpha’s bicep. It was true, every smile he’s worn recent has been empty, just some shell of the gesture when the situation called for it. The smile deepens as his face stays pressed into Iwaizumi’s arm, a warmth filling his chest that even when they felt miles apart from each other, his Iwa-chan still knew him better than anyone else.
It’s so fucking stupid one dream about him still fucks me up after all these years.
I used to tell myself I’d never have a one that got away but there he is plain as fucking day
I don’t even want him anymore but sometimes I can’t think of anything but him and it feels like it used to feel when I couldn’t breathe without him there.
