boy it sure is hard to route for a main character who’s all about wishing death on innocent babies for the crimes of their parents. oh and raping their partners. that’s... thanks for that handmaid’s tale.
IM WATCHING A PHILIPHINES MOVIE WHERE A GUY WAS RAPED AND IT WAS TURNED INTO HIM CHEATING ADN THE GIRL IS DOING ALL THIS SHIT TO PROVE HE’S A CHEATER AND AT THIS POINT LIKE SHE AGHHHH
I’ve never felt more exhausted in my whole life. after I tried to kill myself they told me I was pregnant. kylan was so upset when i told him i was aborting because i didn’t know who the father was - him or the three people rape me on a regular basis. i miss jc too, but i don’t know maybe he was right when he said we’re just too intense and aren’t good for each other. fuck, i was so scared when he was in the hospital. it’s scary to watch your soulmate lie there unsure if they’re going to be okay - but thankfully he is.
i had to spend last night at connor’s because kylan and i got into a big fight, well not really a big fight. i told him i wanted to drink and when he said he wasn’t in the mood, i said he never was. i should have just kept my mouth shut. he started drinking and he was getting mean and in my face. he threw a fucking shot on me and it got in my eye. then he tried to follow me to connor’s. i should have just kept quiet.
today was the abortion, happy valentine’s to me lmao. they told me i probably wouldn’t have carried to term because there was so much scar tissue. like old scar tissue. so they basically told me i can’t have kids. i don’t even want to know why i have old scar tissue.
So students, when a man and woman love each other very much they embark on a wild adventure of exchanging bodily fluids, lots of grunts and moaning, and varies emotional scaring.
Ororo knows there’s a fine line between sex and making love. She is very open about her sexuality and who she is and what she likes. That being said, she has yet to really have a sexual encounter. Surprising!
It all stems from a traumatic experience she had during her younger years in Kenya. Ororo was nearly raped at the age of twelve. It was only due to her abilities was she able to kill the man and escape. Since then, she has a hard time with people touching her without permission. Another barrier within her love life. She doesn’t talk about the experience, not even Charles knows. Yet of course if ever put in such a situation it would have to be with someone she deeply trust.
I am about to answer an ask that relates to Felicia's backstory and therefore her rape. So PLEASE if this is triggering to you in anyway make sure your blacklist is on. It will be tagged similar to this post with
tw: rape.
i love all of my followers and i would hate to make them uncomfortable. xoxo.
Send me “black Bird” and I will give you a darker memory from my muse’s past
*Trigger Warning* IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY ABUSE OF ALL KINDS, VERBAL, PHYSICAL, SEXUAL, DO. NOT. READ. You have all been warned, and if any of you whine and say I’m a foul person for this, well then you need to look for that magical unfollow button. I do not condone such behavior that is implied in this drabble, however, it is apart of my character’s past, and it is part of what defines him to this day. You Have Been Warned.
He could still hear them down the stairs at five til ten, pillows stacked around his head as if to try and drown out the sound of his racing mind, and the clatter of plates downstairs. ”He’s done it again you know, what will they think of us, raising such a petulant little boy? A demon, I tell you Marcus. He’s vile! What does that say about me, having given birth to such a monster?" He knew who they were talking about, their voices wafting up the stairs and into the crack of his bedroom door, a spoon falling into the stainless steel sink. "It is not your fault, Risa, dear. You were lost, we were both lost but we’ve found our salvation. All we can do is try and save the boy, and if all else fails, we will rid him of his demons in the only way we know that is successful. Brother Rem’s son was cured of his demons! Perhaps we can save Thaddeus as well " Thad wanted to scoff at those words, but he knew better…knew that if he made a sound that it would only be worst. But the truth was, no matter what he did up here, it would always be worse. He could be sleeping at present, and his father would still come up those stairs once their late dinner was finished, wrench him from the bed to serve out his punishment. Today was worst, however, having been sent to bed without any semblance of dinner or food and water since his 3 pm snack of a banana and half a glass of water. Quietly, he slid out of bed, barefeet resting on the carpet of his bedroom floor for a moment before he stood up and padded ever so quietly towards his bookshelf. He didn’t understand what he’d done wrong, or how he’d betrayed a God that was supposed to love him as if he were his own child…but the way his family worked, maybe this was the love he was meant to have. He must have done something to deserve this, though he couldn’t wrap his small ten year old mind around it. What had he done that was so wrong, so vile that the bruises on his wrists and ankles never healed, that his teachers down in the school room looked upon him with disgust? Why did he have to watch from the window while the other children played freeze tag out in the yard, and he had to copy lines of scripture detailing about salvation and damnation. No one had faith in him, clearly. He was damned, and knew that. Whatever he’d done in heaven or hell before he made it to this place on earth…he deserved this. Why was it so wrong to want to draw? To paint the beauty of the world around him, to express his thoughts with pen to paper. Why was it wrong to read something other than the bible? Crouching carefully, he reached behind his devotional books, and grabbed up a dusty copy of Robin Hood that he’d managed to swipe, if only barely, on their last trip into town.
Thad often lost himself in the pages of his books, the books he wasn’t allowed to have, living lives that would never be his, the freedoms he longed for. Between these pages, he could be Robin Hood or Little John, fearsome bandits stealing from the privileged and giving to those in need. He could be Long John Silver, a feared pirate on the open blue seas. He was not Thaddeus Salant, a boy made to believe he was damned to hell regardless of what he’d done. His eye caught the purple bruise on his wrist, though by now he was used to the adornment, as it never seemed to have the time to fade to the sickly green and yellow color as the blood broke down beneath the surface of his skin. His hand pushed the collection of dust from the cover, flipping the page open as he leaned back against the bookshelf, believing he had time to read a few pages before he had to hide it away again when his father came up the stairs to collect him. Eyes as blue as the caribbean sea followed the words across the page, soaking them in as if they were the word of God himself, though that was blasphemous and he knew that thought would only damn him more, likely putting him in the darkest circle of hell where even Dante himself couldn’t locate him on his path for Beatrice. Three pages in, he’d tuned the arguing out from downstairs, which was a shame, considering he’d have heard his mother confessing his crimes to his father, enraging him more. ”I told you Marcus, repentance isn’t working! His punishment is only driving him further into damnation! Brother Paul confessed that he’d caught him drawing again, that he’d gotten a notebook from someone and had hidden it behind the shelves in the classroom! He’s not been reading his scriptures and he is in constant rebellion, questioning why they’re not allowed to read other books. He’s done his best to take care of the situation himself, but today he found him using stolen watercolors and brushes from the stained glass projects the other children have been working on, and painting with them." To anyone outside of the compound, outside of their "church", this, by all means was not a punishable offense, but inside the walls of the campus they lived on…there was a code. Girls must have their hair in the braid down their back at all times. Neutral colors. Women were not allowed to speak their minds on church matters. The children were on a regulated diet, and there was to be no outside influences allowed through the walls. This included artistic creativity, reading materials that were not approved first by the council, no music except what came from the church choir for worship. Punishment was dealt with and executed by Father Marcus, the pastor, and Thaddeus’ father, and the Deacons, which consisted of seven men in total. If anyone were to interfere with the punishment process, they too, shall be punished to the same degree as the trouble maker, if not more so. Thad learned early on that interrupting was bad for his health, having left the bright blue eyed six year old with a large welp from a lash to the face after he tried to intervene when the girl he had a school yard crush on was being punished for stealing a bite of Brother Rem’s cookie. Had Thad been listening to his parents’ conversation, he might have heard as Marcus spoke to Risa. He may have heard the harsh footsteps coming up the stairs, rather than being lost in the Sherwood Forest, running with Robin Hood and his band of Merry Men.. "WHAT IS THIS?!" Caught. And he knew it. Thad threw the book down quickly, as if it’d burned his hands, trying his best to shove it behind his devotional books but it was too late. "Your mother was right…you are the devil incarnate. This is FILTH. Trash that will ruin your mind, and you sit here under my roof and read this. HOW Did you get this, Hmn? Did someone give it to you? Did you steal it? You stole it didn’t you? So I am also harboring a thief now am I? Get up. GET UP NOW" Thad scrambled to his feet, only to be wrenched roughly up by the hand of his father underneat his arm, nearly dislocating his shoulder as he roughly brought him to his feet. "Tell the truth…" Marcus said, with fire in his voice, and Thad knew that if he lied it would only be worse.
"Yes." He murmured softly, looking away from his father and back at him as he tried to get away. "I’m calling Brother Damien as well as Brother Rem. This must stop tonight, and clearly my punishment is not enough. Perhaps Brother Damien or Brother Rem can get through to you. Get past the demons in your blackened heart…Come here boy..” Thad stepped forward tentatively, feeling his father’s strong hand wrapping around his arm again, nearly dragging him down the stairs and shoving him into the fridge to stand. ”Face your mother, tell her what you’ve done." Before Thad could open his mouth, his father produced the book, tossing it on the kitchen table so hard it made Thad flinch, standing there with tears in his eyes, looking down. "Not only did I catch him reading this blasphemous material, he was stowing it away, who knows what else is behind his devotionals! And to top it off, he is a THIEF. Call Brothers Rem and Damien. I will be in need of their assistance, immediately. To the chapel. NOW RISA”
Without another warning, his father gripped him up under his arm, and wrenched him out into the cold night air, fingers like a vice on his small arm. "Clearly beating it out of you isn’t doing the job. Have no fear, we will straighten you out before its all over with, Brothers Rem and Damien, and myself….we will get through to you." The trek across the damp grass didn’t take long, though his feet were scraped by the time they made it through the doors of the chapel, mostly from trying to keep up with his father’s long strides, across the gravel roads that crisscrossed the compound. Flashlights across the way told him Brother Rem and Damien were already on their way, having left their families to serve punishment to the preacher’s demonic child. What had he done wrong? "Stop your crying, you know good and well this is what you deserve" his father growled at him, leading him to the back of the church, down a set of stairs. He’d been here nearly ever week since he was eight, taking the beatings like a man, to the point where he’d discovered coping mechanisms to help block out the pain. It was during those moments that he lost himself in the dark Sherwood Forest, protected by Robin Hood who would never let the youngest of his Merry Men being treated this way. But tonight was different than all those nights, he could feel it in the air, in how his father threw him onto the hard floor, telling him to get out of his clothes. That’d happened before, he’d suffered whippings across his bare skin before, those were more painful. But what his father…what brothers Damien and rem did to him that night….leather straps leaving bruises across his wrists, what started out as a brutal beating turned into something so much worse, and as he lay there, helpless, knowing his cries for his daddy were lost on deaf ears, staring up at a picture of the man who was supposed to love him so much…God…he knew heaven was out of reach..and hell was engulfing him, burning him alive. There was no salvation..and he knew there was no coming back. That was the night it all changed for him, the punishments only getting exceedingly worst, driving his mind into a darker place, trying to protect himself from the pain of the world around him. Hope was just a figment of his imagination…
