Daryl and Jesus had a spot. It was just west of Hilltop, hidden in trees and walker corpses. It wasn't anything spectacular, definitely not a mansion by any means.
Still, it was a cabin. One room. A fireplace. A stained mattress with cigarette scented sheets.
This post about Daryl and Connie by @theyreunderadumpster made me think about how disappointed i was in both of Daryl's romantic storylines and how much potential was wasted.
Now i can't stop thinking about it. I actually think they could still do something with this. There is still potential. Maybe Daryl had feelings for Connie? Maybe even some initial attraction to Jesus.
He has grown as a person so much from where he started. He now has a family that loves him and doesn't abuse him, so he knows how to be a part of a family and how to show he cares, he's gained some confidence and knows better how to handle his feelings. These things he has gained by exposure.
But he has never really had much exposure to a healthy, loving relationship. His father was abusive to his mother and she died when he was young. I doupt Merle has had any healthy relationships. Carol and Ed, the whole Rick, Lori and Shane situation, Andrea and The Governor. Negan's wives.
There are some good relationships around him, sure, but most of those have ended in tragic ways. And he doesn't have any personal experience. So he hasn't really grown in that area. Then they meet Jesus and he feels a pang of attraction.
And it terrifies him to the core.
He reverts back to the angry, scared season 1 Daryl, just glaring at Paul because what the hell is happening right now. Why do i wanna smell his hair? He doesn't know how to process these feelings.
In that episode he acts very much like he did in season 1. He glares and pouts and chases jesus around because he's so annoyed that this smug prick made him feel like that. And he's so petty and sassy, just like in the early seasons.
Then the saviors happened and Rick died and he met Leah. He's grown a lot in that time and actually processes his feelings somehow. He's still clueless on how to proceed (put the fish down, babe), but he manages to still form an actual relationship with this woman. But he get's so scared when things start to get serious and she asks him about their future and he runs. Then he manages to process some of this fear and he changes his mind and comes back, but she's gone.
And then that whole reaper shit happens and he is so fucked up and is convinced that there are no happy endings in relationships.
So when he finds himself falling for Connie, he's just like nope, nuh uh, not for me sir, we're friends. It's not like that. Even tough i learned a fucking language for her. Friends because it will end badly otherwise.
He leaves The Commonwealth to find Rick and Michonne and finds himself in France. He meets Isabelle. He feels lost, doesn't know if he'll ever see his family again. He helps Isabelle and Laurent and grows to care about them. He feels like he's a part of something again. Part of a group, a family. He has a purpose. His feelings for Isabelle scare him at first but then he thinks about Jesus. About Leah and Connie.
He still thinks about the way he felt when he met Jesus. He sometimes wonders what could have been if he wasn't so damn scared. He wonders if things would've ended differently if he'd stayed with Leah at the cabin. What if he had asked Connie to that dance? If he'd kissed her on those train tracks.
He goes for it. And then it ends badly. But he realizes he doesn't regret it. They had good memories. It hurt to lose her, but he still has the memories and he doesn't regret any of them. He had a moment of happiness even if it ended badly. He still would've felt the same pain when she died even if he didn't go for it, but then there would be regret too. What if's and almosts.
So after he and Carol are done with their Europe tour and they get back to America and back to The Commonwealth, their family is there waiting for them. Connie too. And he sees her after so long and he feels like a complete fucking moron for not going for it earlier because his legs still feel like noodles when their eyes meet.