Save Me: Chapter 26 - Betrayal
~Hey guys! Chapter 26 is out now :) Molly is in a dark place as she feels completely alone, little does she know that there is always light at the end of the tunnel...I hope everyone is having a good week and chapter 27 will be out on Sunday. Love y’all <3~
Molly is feeling isolated and out of place being back with her family. Will she be able to find peace within herself and the others?
I was home, straight back to cold, damp darkness.
It was silent for the most part, sometimes I heard footsteps on the grass outside.
But, the sun didn't shine on me now for a reason.
Tara looked at me like she never had before, no anger, no sadness just shock, like I was a complete stranger.
I can't describe that feeling, it wasn't simple loneliness or guilt, I felt as though I had no place in world where my two feet on the ground were solid.
I had once thought that the Sanctuary was my home and by extension Negan but now thinking about that place, it just felt estranged to me.
Now, the exact same feeling was felt for this place.
I shivered when the cool breeze zipped through the bars, though I had always preferred the cold to the raging heat of Virginia.
It was bad for me to be alone, as in darkness I tended to dwell on my deepest thoughts.
I couldn't cry anymore, a part of me thought that there were just no tears left.
I was numb to physical emotion, but that didn't mean that my emotions didn't still overwhelm me.
Memories of Negan flashed through my mind when I rubbed my neck, now sore from the hard floor.
His lips, his kisses, his warm hands, everything.
I clenched my fists and sighed in frustration.
How could I let myself become so naive, so stupid?!
When I touched my chest, where my locket had once sat, I thought of Tara and how losing the locket had actually predicted how I would lose her.
She had every right to hate me though, as did Maggie, as did Rosita, I had failed them all.
My own weak emotions had overwhelmed me, maybe that's what caused Simon to... I couldn't finish that thought.
I couldn't make myself go back there, to that space.
Suddenly, the main door squeaked open and I jumped up to my feet, squinting my eyes to see who it was.
He walked over to me and without a word he unlocked and opened the cell door.
I stood in front of him as he just looked me over as if I was unrecognisable.
He looked down as he said quietly, 'Rick wants you at Alexandria, it's probably best for you know...'.
He held my arm gently as he guided me up the stairs and out into the sunlight.
It beamed down on my face, but this time that fresh grass smell had subsided and there was no Tara to embrace me.
Instead as we walked towards the gates, there she stood, next to Maggie and Rosita.
She had a hopeful look in her eye which was almost a smile as she tried to walk towards me.
She must have thought that I was being released, but the realisation hit when Rick and Michonne came to lead me to their car.
Everyone else just stared at me in awe and almost fear.
'Look at her!' they must have said.
'That's the girl that slept with Negan!' they must have whispered to each other.
Maggie looked at me once before walking back inside, she couldn't even stand the sight of me.
I looked around at everyone and only bowed my head down once Tara backed away.
Once I was in the car, it was silence again.
None of us knowing what to say to each other, although I could always tell when Rick wanted to say something.
He kept glancing at me through the mirror as he drove with a slight scowl as if he was both proud yet hurt by my actions.
I knew exactly what he wanted to ask, but none of them could ever understand because none of them knew him like I did.
That's how they hated him, they only saw the man who killed members of our family and not the man who cares for his people and does everything to keep them safe.
I looked away from his glance as I watched the endless forest zip past my window with the occasional walker stumbling through.
I hadn't been to Alexandria for a long time yet seeing those gates again and the beautiful sign that read:
Welcome to the Alexandria Safe Zone
Vengeance for the plunderers
We pulled up as Aaron drew back the gates.
It wasn't the place I remembered anymore. Hardly anyone had guns and there were very little supplies, all down to Negan I gathered.
Aaron didn't say a word to me but just scowled, Rick must have told them.
Michonne told Rick she was going to check on Carl and Judith while he put me in my new cell.
When we walked to the house with a basement cell, I looked over to my old house, right next to Tara and Denise's.
It looked untouched, perfect almost, I wondered if Negan and his Saviours had taken anything from it.
Rick told me to sit in the chair while he went to check on the others, little did I know that I would soon have company.
I waited for a while and when I got bored of sitting I stood up and paced around the small room.
There was a little window with bars across it which gave more light than at Hilltop.
Hearing people walk past, children playing, it made me recall what I loved about this place.
I rested my arms against the window entranced by the outside when a figure bounded down the stairs and said 'How could you?'.
I turned around to see Aaron, a scowl across his face and his hands on his hips.
I sighed, saying 'Aaron, I don't know what Rick has told you, but either way please know that I'm sorry'.
He scoffed, 'did Rick tell you what your boyfriend did to mine, he got Eric killed' he said, his face reddening now with rage.
'You didn't know? But you knew about Spencer and Olivia, yet you still fell for the bastard?!' he said sternly.
I looked at him and nodded.
'Yeah and that guilt will live with me for the rest of my life. I am sorry about Eric, if I had stayed at the Sanctuary longer, maybe I could've helped...' I said sadly.
He saw the guilt and self-hatred in my eyes and his scowl now turned to a frown of pity.
'I don't blame you nor do I hate you. You're family and Eric loved you like a sister. Rick's only told us your part in the matter, not what you went through' he said softly.
I gulped at knowing what I might tell him.
'Not all of it was dark, the lighter moments were with Negan. But, in that place, there were far worse people than him' I said quietly.
Aaron stepped forward and opened the cell door to sit with me.
'Molly, I-I don't know what you went through there, but you've gotta know that Negan is an evil person. Rick said you told him he 'saved' you. How?' he asked sternly.
I looked away from him, I had to tell someone, I couldn't let it control me anymore.
I had wanted Tara to be the first, but she wasn't here for me.
I inhaled as my focus shifted to his gaze.
'A man tried to rape me when I got to the Sanctuary and Negan killed him before he could. But the next time...he just wasn't fast enough' I said slowly.
Aaron was taken aback as he just stared at me, open mouthed and frowned.
'Molly, I-I am so sorry that happened to you' he said trying to reach forward.
I lept up and moved towards the window.
'Yeah well, no one else knows so just keep it to yourself. Please' I said warningly.
'But if you told Rick then-' he said pleadingly.
'Then what Aaron? They would feel sorry for me? I'm not a fucking victim, I don't need to be coddled. I deserve to be in here because I am guilty, I'm guilty of making a bad decision. But you know what? By that fact, everyone else should be in here with me, especially Rick, because he's made some terrible fucking decisions over the years' I said sternly.
I scoffed at him as he just stood there, wide eyed and surprised.
'You all say that I'm in here because I slept with the enemy, but I know the truth...it's because I'm now a threat. I'm an 'unknown' and you all don't know what to do with me because I've been on both sides. Oh, and apparently even though I didn't commit Negan's crimes, I'm still guilty of them by association and you all were so quick to judge me even though you're supposed to be my family. So thank you by the way! Now fuck off Aaron' I shouted before I turned back around to look out of the window.
He was stunned into silence at my speech and just walked out and back up the stairs.
I sighed in relief as that was the first time I had expressed my true feelings without guilt.
It wasn't until sunset when Rick came back to visit me.
He brought some dinner with him, a plate made up of bread, tomatoes and mushed vegetables.
I was starving so I grabbed the food off him and ate it in two seconds flat.
He raised his eyebrows and almost smirked as he sat down in front of me.
'Aaron told me he visited you' he said quietly.
I just rolled my eyes in response as I wiped my mouth and sat down.
'Can we not do this, because you don't give a shit about what I have say nowadays' I said sternly.
He sighed and looked down as he removed his hatchet and guns from his holster and set them onto the floor so he was more comfortable.
'I'm sorry Molly. Aaron didn't tell me what happened to you but I know it was bad. I love you, you know that. You're my family, my sister' he started to say.
'I didn't think about what it must have been like for you, being there. Thank you for what you did for us, if it weren't for you then some of us wouldn't be here. But, Molly, you have to know that Negan has to die' he said softly.
I inhaled, saying 'yeah I know'.
'You're okay with that? Because I need you firmly on my side, our side' he said pleadingly.
'I have to be okay. But just know, that I would do anything for this family. It's true, I fell for Negan but family comes first, always' I said as I grabbed his hand and took it in mine.
'Alright, welcome back' he said as he stood and handed me my gun and knives.
I smirked in surprise as I took them and put them in my holster.
He walked up the stairs as I just stood there in awe. 'Well, you comin' or what?' he said smirking.
I chuckled and followed him up the stairs. It felt good to be back...
After seeing Michonne and handing her Judith, I told her I was going to help with the crops but really I was sneaking out.
I climbed the steel wall and hopped over, flinging my rucksack over as I went.
I just needed to be outside, kill something, anything.
I felt trapped and hopeless with Negan ruling our life.
No one noticed when I left, so I knew that I could just stay in the woods for a couple hours then go back.
Enid and I loved these woods, it reminded me of when she kissed me before she went away to live at Hilltop.
Maggie needed her to help her with the baby and being at Alexandria reminded her of Glenn.
I heard walkers snarling behind me so I readied my blade and managed to kill them, one by one.
It was easy enough so I got comfortable.
I wandered aimlessly, seeing some of the stakes my dad had put down to trap walkers.
A walker was staked through the middle as it growled and grunted when a man came up behind it and killed it.
He looked like he was alone.
'My dad put those down' I continued as I slowly walked towards the man.
He looked startled and nervous.
'I'm Carl' I said as he pointed to himself and said 'Siddiq'.
I held out a bag containing a sandwich and a bottle of water and said 'food and water'.
He tilted his head and asked 'why?'.
'My mom told me that you always gotta do whats right, I wanna help you' I said smiling at him.
I chucked the bag over to him which he lunged for as he ripped it open and chugged the water down.
'Thanks' he managed as he sat on the ground.
'Glad I found you' I said smiling.
'Me and my dad, we're in a community' I said softly, he looked up once I mentioned it.
'I'm gonna ask you a few questions and I need you to answer honestly okay?' I said as I walked towards him further.
'How many walkers have you killed? I know it's hard to keep track bu-' I started to ask before he interrupted.
'How many people have you killed?' I asked sceptically.
'Why?' I followed up with.
'The dead tried to kill him but...they didn't' he said sadly.
'Come with me' I said as I walked in front.
He followed me as we walked back to Alexandria.
There were a group of walkers feasting on a deer carcass when we approached them.
'Okay, follow me' I said as we moved slowly around the trees towards them.
The walkers sensed us, got up and walked towards us.
I killed one, as did Siddiq but more came, more than we expected.
Siddiq struggled and said 'just go! you don't have to help me'.
I mumbled 'no' as a walker tackled me to the ground.
It's teeth gnashed against my face as Siddiq managed to kill his walker alongside one more.
The walker growled and gnashed inches from my flesh before sinking its teeth briefly into my stomach.
He got rid of one which was heading my way just as I managed to grab my gun from my pocket and kill it.
I climbed up to my feet, hiding my bite with my shirt and came over to Siddiq.
'Yeah' I said breathlessly.
'You could've left...' he said quietly.
'I'm responsible for you now. That's how it works' I said now looking at him.
'I don't wanna make any trouble. Your dad won't want anything to do with me' he said nervously.
'Sometimes kids have to find their own way to show their parents the way' I said as I winced at the pain and kept walking.
Siddiq following me closely behind.
When we got back, my dad was out with a couple others but Michonne was still there with Judith.
I couldn't tell her or my dad, not yet.
I now had a timer on my life and I had to make memories for Judith so she would remember me.
I smiled ordinarily at Michonne when I walked in and played with Judith in her room.
We made shapes of our hands with paint and she drew pictures of us together.
Tears formed in my eyes as I realised I would never see her grow old.
While she played and laughed with her toys, I got out some paper and a pen from her toy box and wrote some letters.
I wrote one to my dad, Michonne, Judith, Enid and Negan.
With Negan's I asked him to stop the fight and with everyone else's I thanked them for being there for me.
Siddiq was taken in and being a doctor, my dad accepted him when I got back.
He lectured and scolded me but was proud of me when he learned what I did.
I didn't know how long I would have, but sitting with my family out on the porch while the sun now set was perfect...
