I feel like lately I'm having a hard time being me. Loving unconditionally. Opening my arms without fear of finding them left lonely when I least expect it. I used be this wonderful person. So full of life. With so much passion. I used to embrace so much with each step I took. I used to touch so many people without really touching them at all. Now I can't even find myself reaching out to the people I care about most. I'm not really sure when this happened or how I became so hurt. Closed off. I just know that I feel like I have something heavy holding me down. Crushing my ribs, causing every bone to break. When I feel like I start to heal even a little it weighs down just a lill heavier so I removed what it felt like & it's like I can't it off. The only thing that really lifts it off is music. It's the only escape that calms my wounds. Heels any pain. I mean sure my girls they help. But other than that. I'm just trying to survive. Slowly doing the things that make me happy. That used to makes whole. Like cooking. Making people laugh. Working out. Even this writing. Sketching. Singing. I can't wait for the day I can move past all this... Because this, this kinda sux! Not being able to feel the way I want to... It's not me. I need to keep being positive doing little thins to make other people happy. Helping other people. Motivate other people to stay positive! Focus on my babies. My business my job. My health. Music. Goals. Good vibes. The rest will come! Happy national TWLOHA day! November 13, 2014
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