Things continue the same for them the next following few weeks. Each night Cas seems to come home later and later. Dean eventually stops waiting up for him. Some nights he even allows himself to go out and have some fun with his brother and friends.Β
Tonight is one of those nights. Heβs enjoying himself with his friends but all he wants is to go home to his husband. He does his best to drown out his feelings with alcohol but eventually the bars close and everyone heads home. While in the lyft headed home, all Deanβs heart is hoping for Cas to be there waiting on Dean for once.Β
Cas isnβt there when he enters the apartment. He checks every room but thereβs no sign of him.Β
He calls him but after a few rings it goes to voicemail. He gets a text from Cas shortly after, βstill at the office.βΒ
Dean glances at the top of his phone for the time, 2:45 am.Β
He doesnβt believe him.Β
Dean goes to sleep alone with tear filled eyes.Β
He wakes up the next morning to Cas swearing at the coffee maker. Deans out of bed in an instant and hastily walks to the kitchen.Β
Everything happens in a bit of a blur. One moment heβs calmly confronting Cas about not coming home last night and the next heβs snatching Casβ work from him and demanding attention.Β They're both shouting at the top of their lungs trying to get their points across.Β Β
βYou knew how much my work meant to me before you married me!β Cas yells.
βYeah I did. But I didnβt think it would always be like this. I didnβt think I would be competing with your job and Nick.β The last part slips out by accident. He didnβt want to play the jealous paranoid lover but now that itβs out there, he can finally get the truth.Β
βWhat does she have to do with anything?β Cas asks incredulously.Β
Deanβs completely caught off guard by the pronoun. βShe?!βΒ
βYes, Dean, She.β
βI thought Nick was a dude. Ya know N-I-C-K,β Dean spells out the name for clarity.Β
βNo Nic. As in Nicole. N-I-C-O-L-E.βΒ
Dean feels like an idiot. For as long as heβs known Cas, Cas has never been interested in women. βOh.βΒ
βIs that whatβs got you acting like a jealous child? If you would have just asked me instead of jumping to conclusions-β
βNot like youβre ever home for me to ask you anything.β Dean whispers under his breath.Β
βAnd even if she was a man, what the hell did you think I was doing, Dean?β
Now, isnβt that the million dollar question.Β
βI donβt know.β He answers honestly. βI just know you werenβt home. Youβre never home.βΒ
βNot this again,β Cas rolls his eyes. βI told you my work is important to me,β He says exasperated.
βYeah, but I thought I was too.β Dean says softly.Β
βDean, don't be a child.β
Deanβs never felt small.
He canβt do this anymore. Heβll never be first in Casβ eyes and heβs tired of being second best.Β
βOkay,β he says defeatedly.Β
Dean walks quickly into their room and slams the door shut. Tears fall faster than he can wipe away. Heβs never felt so alone, so unwanted, so broken.Β
The one person who can fix it, is the one who caused it. The tears continue to fall as he sits alone on their bed stupidly waiting for Cas to walk through the door and apologize, continue the argument, anything. But he never does.Β
Deanβs watched his marriage fall apart for the better part of a year. He canβt continue to feel like heβs the only one trying to keep it alive. Heβs tired.Β
He quickly tosses a few things into his overnight bag, wipes his tears, and makes his way out the door.
βWhere are you going?β Cas asks. Deans surprised he even noticed. For the short amount of time Dean was gone, Cas has already opened his laptop and started working again. Like their fight was just a small inconvenience to his day.Β
βTo Samβs.β He answers.
Cas nods absently.Β
Dean wishes he had an ultimatum to dish out to Cas. Wishes he had the energy to beg his husband to pay attention to him and the current state of their relationship. Wishes he could shake Cas and make him see that heβs about to lose Dean forever.Β
Deanβs father always said, βwishes are for fools.βΒ
