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March 6

Eh. I’m trying.

Day started off okay, I did some cleaning, played with the rats. Went to the cat shelter & photographed. They have a new employee & I wanted her to like me, so I offered to give her the floor mats from my Prius that I wrecked (she had one outside). I then realized this was kind of a weird thing to tell someone within five minutes of meeting them but it was too late by that point, the damage was done. She looked at me kind of weird but said thanks. I also went on a long drawn out explanation about how I could only give her the rear mats and trunk mat because I needed the front ones for my car. I realize now all of this was a social faux pas but oh well too late now.

Got home, shaved Cece. She did a great job, so I took her to the park afterwards. I let her off leash in a little secluded area & she ran right into the river & got disgustingly filthy, but she had a really nice time & I had shaved her primarily so she wouldn’t get too gross when she went swimming, so I didn’t mind that much. We laid in the grass for a little while until a gay couple came up with three dogs & I didn’t really feel like interacting with anyone even though they seemed nice so we left.

Played with more rats & took a nap when I got home. Then I left to go check on @uga-rats‘s cats & rats because they’re on vacation. The rats are gross boyrats so I cleaned their cage & chastised them. Then @uga-rats called & said they forgot their medication so I drove an hour to give it to them. This was okay except I got severely depressed upon reaching the destination so I cried a lot the whole way home.

I feel a little better now that I’m back home but I still feel very lonely & I miss my ex. this makes me feel so stupid. he’s been gone for YEARS & the relationship mostly sucked by the end so I shouldn’t even be wasting energy thinking about him. but I don’t really hang out with people now & he was a good friend on top of being my boyfriend & I miss having someone to go places with. I don’t mind doing things on my own but it’s weird to think about I used to go to concerts with someone and I used to go to Walmart with someone and I used to go to the park with someone and I used to take trips with someone. all that wasn’t really good, I was overdependent on him & I learned my lesson....everyone leaves, never get overdependent on anyone because they will leave you, someone can be important to you but they can’t be your whole world because then you’ll have nothing left when they leave. but I still miss holding hands, I don’t remember the last time I held someone’s hand or put my head on their shoulder or fell asleep on someone other than my dog. I am so glad I have Cece, when I think about what if I didn’t have her I feel so panicky & awful. every time I feel like I don’t have any friends, I think of her & I feel better.

I guess I need to stop crying so I can go clean a cage. I really don’t feel well, I will be going to bed early tonight.

#2016diary #cecilia #twoboyrats #chris

#vibe #rats #twoboyrats

March 4

I’M SO TIRED IT’S SO LATE WHY AM I STILL AWAKE

Work was fairly busy. There’s one administrator who’s a complete bitch but she’s an incredibly hard, dedicated worker & I really admire her & she was actually nice to me today so I felt all warm & fuzzy!!!! workcrush did not come in today though, so this was umm...chilly & needly? what is the opposite of warm & fuzzy?

Came home & did some cleaning & then went over to @genderfluid-vagitarian‘s & they cut my hair. I scooted to the grocery store, which was terrifying because I had never ridden the scooter at night, but HEY, I SURVIVED.

Napped for a little bit after eating dinner (YAY I NEVER EAT DINNER but I’m trying to have a more normal eating schedule/diet so I stop gaining unwanted weight, not walking because of my broken foot is really packing on the pounds) & then drove across town to meet an adopter for Mills. They were a really nice family, I think he’ll be happy with them. I’m now down to three foster cats & one’s a long-term catsitting job who is hopefully going back to her owner once the owner’s medical issues are sorted out. YAAAAY SO FEW CATS I LOVE IT.

#2016diary #work #twoboyrats #temporary pets