Finding out that you're pregnant is typically a pretty big shock. Finding out you're pregnant on your lunch break is even worse. After laughing hysterically and pacing my hallway for a good minute, I was making phone calls to confirm those aggressive little pink buggers.
Luckily, I have some pretty amazing co-workers that weren't going to let me go through any of it alone (daddy had to work late and couldn't take off for a few more hours). After my shift ended, my beautiful friend Hannah took her lunch break, and we made our way down to the local Planned Parenthood. I think the fact that I wasn't having walk through those doors by myself, wait in a cold office by myself or go through the thousands of "what ifs" while waiting for the results eased my mind more than anything. Sure enough though, those little lines had not lied, and I was five weeks along.
After having a small party in my beat up Cobalt, we called the daddy. He sounded just as terrified and excited as me. From the beginning, he was nothing but supportive and 100% on board (being twenty-seven helped). Within three days of finding out, he had sold his motorcycle and was making plans for us to start our little family.
There were so many emotions running through me at this point that I really wasn't sure where to start trying to process them. There were basically only a few things that I was sure of. One, that I was pregnant. Two, that I was unmarried. And three, that I was way in over my head.
My boyfriend felt entirely different. While he was a little scared, he was fully confident that everything was going to work out. Through everything thus far, he has been my rock, and I could not have asked for a better man to walk through this with.
His first concern was telling my father (who I lived with at the time). I was terrified. Not only had I felt like I had let him down, but also my fourteen year old sister who looked up to me in so many areas. I felt ashamed of what I had done, and there was no way of hiding it at this point. So we went home after work the day after we found out, and I grabbed my sister to run to the store while he stayed to talk to my dad. I was fairly certain that I would be coming home to a dead boyfriend. But it was exactly the opposite. After my sister cried tears of joy for a mile or so, we made our way home to find a laughing dad and boyfriend. He was overjoyed to be a granddad. The bottom line was that we were adults, and everything was going to work out the way it worked out.
After telling my parents, we made our way to Kansas to break the news to his. This was also another terrifying ordeal for me seeing as to how his mothers first words to me were "No grandchildren!". Also, we had only been dating for maybe six months. Everything was being rushed just a bit too fast, and I wasn't quite sure how they were going to react to the news. However, once again, I was amazed to find everyone more than thrilled to be welcoming a new life into the world. Honestly, I think that his mom was more excited than I was (but more on that later).
Amazingly, everyone we had told was taking the news so much better than I expected. We were getting offered clothes, furniture, wedding dresses and more. I was overwhelmed by the support the people around us were giving, and I constantly found myself in tears just thinking about it (I may have been a little emotional, but that's kind of what happens when you're pregnant).
The only group that did not receive the news with joy was my church home. Understandably, they were disappointed in my choices that led to my pregnancy, but they did offer their support. However, the reaction I received left such a negative impact in my mind that I found myself feeling so completely ashamed of myself and the child growing inside me to the point that for the first time in my life I was thinking (not considering really because I know I would never go through with it) the A word. In my entire life I had never been pro-abortion, but the amount of guilt I felt lead that to pop up in my mind. Two months in, I was still fighting these feelings, but it was a fight that I won in the end (definitely worth talking about later). Eventually, I decided to begin going to church with my dad elsewhere. I held no ill will towards my previous church home, I just was not strong enough to honestly face them as my stomach and guilt grew. Having spent a lifetime ashamed of myself, I did not want to feel ashamed of this new life that was growing within me.
But overall, the initial shock of finding out that some tiny little alien life-force was growing inside me went over fairly well. While I was not prepared for this to be happening at the insignificant age of twenty-two, I was grateful that the circumstances surrounding it were in my favor. Overall, I knew that things were going to turn out just fine even if my hormones had something entirely different to say.
