Honestly, Zettour, Rudersdorf, Ugar, and Lergan all trying to co-parent Tanya is good culture.
Zettour is the indulgent one that's far too much like her for the other comfort.
Rudersdorf is the dotting one enabling Tanya and Zettour.
Ugar is the one that spoils her rotten with gifts and tries to invite her to his family's dinners.
And Lergan is the token responsible one whose attempts at discipline are sabotaged at every turn.
In my eyes, every character in the Imperial Army is just one massive found family dynamic. No you cannot change my mind.
I thought just a bit too hard about all of their differences in trying to take care of Tanya, and suddenly instead of drawing, something else came out. Oops. This isn't edited very strongly, very sorry.
Through the walls, I can hear the sound of voices arguing. It’s getting late, and I really would prefer to be sleeping right now, but here I am listening to the unpleasant sound of annoying old men. This sucks.
“I’m just saying, with the way you act sometimes, I find it hard to believe you have her best interests in mind!”
“Oh would you relax, Lergen? You really need to take that stick out of your ass, I’m only letting her have a little fun.”
It seems that tonight’s two combatants are Colonel Lergen and General Zettour. I sincerely hope it stays between just them, but I get the feeling my hopes are going to be for naught.
“A little fun? You’ve been letting her have unimpeded access to your wine cellar! It’s completely irresponsible—”
“Tanya knows how to moderate herself.”
“Does she now? She’s still just a kid, you know!”
“Well, even if she doesn’t, she’ll only make the mistake once after giving herself a horrible hangover.”
“Have you considered you may end up making her an alcoholic?”
Ugh. I’m not sure why they’re arguing in just the next room over like this. It’s not their intention I don’t understand, I’m pretty sure I get that part. I think they might expect Tanya to feel bad if she overhears them fighting over her, so they’re trying to shelter her from it. It’s a nice thought, even if doesn’t technically matter because I don’t actually care. No, the confusion I have is stemming from their choice of location. Do they know how thin these walls are? I don’t think they do because I can hear just about every word perfectly fine.
“Oh, don’t think you’re completely off the hook, Rudersdorf! While we’re on the subject of things we shouldn’t be allowing Tanya to do, you need to stop bringing her to live fire exercises and weapons tests.” Oh, it sounds like Lergen’s moved onto the next target to harangue.
Rudersdorf is quick to clap back and argue his defense, “What? Why? Do you really someone like her could possibly get hurt watching a few little tests?”
“Yes, actually! Because the second Tanya walks onto the grounds, everyone is clamoring for the famed ‘White Silver’ to participate!”
“That only happened once!”
“Once that you told me! I have it on good authority you keep doing it!”
“Tanya herself said she loves flying!”
“Yes, well, she doesn’t like nearly getting blown up by experimental weaponry!”
“Who told you about that?”
I’m wondering about that myself. Lergen honestly has the tendency to be a bit of a mother hen, so I’d avoided telling him about it. Really, it was also for his benefit as well as mine, the poor guy gets terribly sick when he’s anxious. I thought I was being merciful when I decided to tell only Zettour that I’d recently flown for Elenium Arms again.
Ah, wait a second. Zettour. He’s been suspiciously silent now, hasn’t he? He hasn’t said anything in a while, so he’s probably just listening to Lergen and Rudersdorf argue. Considering he was just getting reamed out for the whole ‘letting Tanya have wine’ thing, he’s probably enjoying the fact that Lergen’s anger isn’t directed at him anymore. I wonder if it was him…
“Oh, Zettour, you bastard!”
Ah, it seems that Rudersdorf caught on to the same realization I did. Now the two generals are going to argue. What a joy. Lergen at least has the decency to keep his volume at normal conversational levels, even if his tone gets rather accusatory. The generals do not have that decency, so this is going to devolve into a shouting match. I really do not want to, but I’m going to have to go out there and tell them to shut up, aren’t I?
Uger, the only person speaking at a low volume and therefore the only person who I can’t hear well, says something unintelligible. Following that, I just barely hear Lergen’s sigh and the resigned words, “Alright, go ahead…”
In the next few seconds, I hear footsteps and then my door opens. Colonel Uger appears in the doorway.
“Tanya… are you still awake?”
“Yes, sir. Did you need something?”
There’s a loud noise, like someone just slammed a table with their fist, and Uger hurries to step inside the room and shut the door behind him. It does very little to mute the din of the argument.
There is a beat of silence as we both listen. Uger looks like he’s cringing.
“It’s uh… Have you been able to hear this whole time…?”
“Yes, I have.”
“L-Listen, Tanya… you should know that this isn’t your fault. They love you, and want the best for you. It’s only because they care so much that they disagree—”
Knowing where this conversation is headed, I cut off the incoming lecture he’s about to give me, “It’s fine. I know they’re only arguing out of love for me.” A bold-faced lie came out of Tanya’s mouth just now. It’s not something I believe at all, but I also know saying that will end this conversation as quickly as possible.
“Right… so long as you understand—”
“Oh, shut the hell up! What would you know about parenting?!” Uger’s kind words are unfortunately interrupted by one of the Generals yelling.
There is another awkward pause.
After a second, it seems like Uger has come up with a resolution, “Uh… You know, Tanya, my daughter has been wanting to see you again. Did you want to have a sleepover with her tonight?”
Yeah, I’ll take hanging out with a toddler over listening to this go on for who knows how long. You know it speaks to the maturity level of those old men that a little girl is more well-behaved than them.
Mind made up, I give him my assent, “Yes, sir, I think that’d be pleasant.”
“Alright, I’ll give you a second to get your things together while I go talk to them about the new plans.” With that Uger leaves the room, a stormy expression on his face.
Ahh, now they’ve done it. You know it’s bad when even kindhearted Colonel Uger gets irritated. It’s because he’s so compassionate that it’s always the worst getting reprimanded by him. If you can manage to piss him off, it generally means you deserve what’s coming.
I hope he doesn’t take too long guilt-tripping them, I really would like to go to bed soon.
Would be cute if Ugar or Zettour acted parental towards Tanya, or well more parental in Ugar's case considering he spoils Tanya with decent-quality chocolate and coffee beans.
tanya's like a harem anime protagonist but instead of collecting waifus or whatever she just amasses a group of parental figures
