its touch is familiar -- a creeping hand tracing up his spine, feather-light & icy enough to draw a shiver from him, chills breaking out over pallid skin. digits clench as teeth grit, drawing the duvet further over his head as if to withdraw from the world, hide from the monsters that crept along the shadowed walls, their whispers hushed murmurs in the shell of his ears.
( not today not today not today ---- )
there's the tightening of fingers around his throat, giving only the softest squeeze; airways are constricted, invisible hands around his throat tightening. breath only becomes shallower as the panic settles within his bones, rattles his frame. his systems collapse, senses turning to static -- coherent thought ran together, breath hitching. digits rub over weary features, scrubbing harshly at stinging eyes, skin tingling as senses grew numb.
isolation had always been his method of dealing with his crumbling stability -- he knew only closing himself behind locked doors, suffering alone. the thought of allowing them to know of just how weak he was had always kept him from reaching out, pleading for someone to listen to the burdens weighing on his chest, crushing the air from his lungs in his sworn secrecy -- so why had he thought of her? there was a tug, something that told him to reach out to her despite his instinct to withdraw. blankets were clenched further around himself, teeth gritting against the urge -- resist, resist, RESIST…
long seconds later, trembling digits fumbled beneath pillow, hardly conscious of movements made against his will. it’s a miracle sporadic thumbs can form coherent sentences, the task of typing a struggle in itself.
【 ✉ 】:: t o u k a
► touka
► do you mind if ii come ovr
► it;s urgent
► please call me
long minutes stretched, the noose around his throat choking the air from his lungs; desperation hit its peak as thumb brushes over the call button, shaking hands pressing the dail to his ear. for a long moment, there was only the dial & the wheeze of his own breathing before he heard a click abruptly cut through continuous ring. there's only static filling his ears as her name rattles from his lips, cracking upon his lips.
