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Sep 22, 2022

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Alex answers the call to the Divide, meeting someone strangely familiar... Maybe she would finally get the answers she sought from this place. Or from the person who resides in it.

I am very proud of this one. Of course the longest fic I’ve ever written would be about Ulysses.

"There's your signal. Faint, but there."

Alex startled, whipping her head around to face ED-E who now had a strangely familiar voice coming through him. It piqued her interest a bit, but she had experienced strange deja vu so many times after losing her memory, that it was second nature to ignore it.

"You walked the Mojave without a flag on your back. That'll end soon, can't walk the Long 15 and not have a nation's shadow fall on you."

She frowned. She didn't even know this guy and he was already questioning her life decisions. It wasn't her fault every faction in the Mojave was a shitty option.

"Maybe you just need to be tested. Or you believe in nothing. We'll see."

Her pierced brow twitched in annoyance. She believed in plenty of things, thank you very much! Like how some people need a good, solid punch to the face. She asked a lot of questions, and he provided what were mostly cryptic answers, but answers nonetheless. He even gave her some useful information, whether he meant to or not.

"They camp near silos... warheads. No way to cleanse the radiation - makes them hard to kill there, have to draw them out." Those weird, flayed used-to-be soldiers needed to be drawn away from their camps to do any proper damage to them, got it.

She learned a lot through their conversation and was surprised about how willing he was to hand out so much information for someone who claimed they wanted her dead. He talked a lot about some sort of "shared history" they had but. Well. He wouldn't have been the first person to claim such a thing to get something from her.

She even asked just to be sure, "If we actually share history, then before risking my life, I want to know about my past."

"Who are you, who do not know your history?" A tinge of... something would have been detected by someone more perceptive than her.

As it was, she just sighed and said, "So you don't know anything after all." She was a bit sad, but it was a sort of disappointment she was used to.

A long pause. "If history matters to you, you'll need to earn it. Any logs of mine have been cast into the Divide. They're lost to you. For now - find the trigger to the warheads. Use them to keep moving... and keep alive."

"Fuck that! I'm not planning to go into the Divide after you!" At this point, Alex was tired. It had been months since she woke up in Goodsprings having forgotten everything about herself except her name. Doc Mitchel told her that she already had signs of amnesia even before the bullet as well, so that alone was a miracle. Then, she got dragged into the middle of a war she wanted no part in, and gaining even a single memory was like chewing through glass - damn near impossible.

All she wanted was to find herself, but she wasn't sure the inkling of recognition she found in this guy's voice was going to be enough to keep her there. Maybe. Probably.

Alex could've sworn she heard a sigh when he said, "You're curious." A statement, not a suggestion. Maybe he did know her like he seems to be alluding to? Nah, anyone could guess she was curious by nature just by her bothering to come all the way out here just because of some stupid, cryptic message. "You walk, leave ruin in your path... you can't leave alone. Still, the choice is yours... what I offer, it's the last I offer you."

She was silent for a few moments, foot tapping frantically and hand running through her short, dyed blonde hair as her mind ran a mile a minute trying to decide what to do.

He must've grown impatient - or desperate - because it didn't take long for him to continue. "As for you... you'll want to see your home one last time, see what happened."

She would admit that she was curious, but that still wouldn't be enough to risk her life over a maybe.

He must be able to read minds because he continued, "I said that I knew of your home, but if you want my currency - the history I keep - you'll have to come and find me, Alexandria." He said the last word like it tasted wrong coming out. Alex would've been offended if she wasn't so focused on what he had said.

She breathed in, sharp and fast, and stopped moving altogether, undivided attention on ED-E and what the man - Ulysses - had just said right before disconnecting.

He knew her - he had to. She had never told anyone her name, not even Doc Mitchel. She didn't even remember it immediately, after all, it took a few hours of being awake before that returned to her. She just went by "The Courier" based on her belongings and kept that up to thwart anybody attempting to scam her by claiming they were some long-lost lover or relative. The more she got involved in the Mojave and Hoover Dam, the more those kinds of people kept popping up.

So the only people that could know her name were herself, and anyone who was actually from her past. At the very least, he knew about her. He was right, their paths were tangled up, converging at places she didn't yet know. She decided that learning more about her past was more important than keeping herself away from the dangers the Divide posed. She had faced all sorts of things in the Mojave and beyond anyway, this would just be another adventure, right? ____________________________________________________ Wrong.

The Divide had enemies that put Deathclaws and Yao Guais to shame. Not even Dr. Mobius' giant robotic radscorpian was as tough as a pack of those damned humanoid monsters. There was no sneaking around them or scaring them off. She couldn't even outrun them. She probably had a dozen bites and scratches from the bastards by the time she got to the High Road.

Her exhaustion flared into anger when she heard the crackling static come from ED-E, a telltale sign that Ulysses was about to speak.

He barely got the first syllable out before she was cussing him out. Every single expletive she knew was woven into what was roughly "Why the hell didn't you warn me about those things!?"

She could've sworn she heard a faint chuckle come from him, but he spoke and the notion left her. "Those... tunnelers. They're in an entirely different league than the monsters of the Mojave. Able to take on deathclaws in sheer numbers alone. As for why I did not inform you before...I warned you the Divide liked to chew people up and spit them out. But as always, your curiosity got the better of you... and led you down an unlucky path."

He was right once again. A bastard through and through, but correct all the same.

They talked some more, something about listening to him go on and on should have bored her - would have, had it been anyone else, but his voice was strangely soothing. She calmed down way sooner than she normally would have and paid attention to his every word. She felt a sense of accomplishment when she found out more about him, more so when hearing it from him and not just from his recordings. Though even those mattered, to him most of all, even if he didn't want to admit it.

When asked, all he said was, "Maybe they did. Maybe they didn't." There was a short pause. "But you finding them...perhaps there was a purpose in that."

She noticed that his voice sounded a bit more pointed than usual. Like he wanted her to realize something that was forgotten.

She didn't pay any mind to it though - she had forgotten a lot of things., so she'd care more about it when he told her the full story.

"Want more than that, walk the Divide. Answers'll come, closer you get to home... you and that machine."

She was starting to get pissed off about how much he hated her sweet baby ED-E, but she was more interested in "home," so she kept her mouth shut. This time.

"I don't think I've been here before... At least, not from this road." That was true enough. Even if she didn't remember much, if she was in a place she was before, some sort of familiarity would tug at her. But Hopeville, and that tunnel... she didn't think she had ever been there.

"Many in the Mojave think that the Divide is just canyon and ruin." He sounded a bit angry. "Wasn't always that way." Maybe a bit sad too... "Used to be a town here. Not Old World like Hopeville... more recent. Something that you saw in your lifetime."

Guess she would find out a little quicker than she anticipated.

"It had the name "the Divide" too. But rather than this destruction and dust, it was a road from the West into the Mojave. It was a supply line."

Alex started to feel that pang of familiarity. Her eyes widened almost imperceptibly. She honestly didn't even fully believe him when he claimed he knew her and her history. Seemed like it was more than a bluff to get her to come to him.

He continued, "Took a courier to make that road. You. Back then, you saw the road with eyes facing East. This time... the Divide's in the other direction. And if your eyes try to make sense of it when you reach it...home's not what it was." She still didn't have the full picture, but this information was more than enough of an incentive to convince her to keep going. She wondered if that was the reason he shared all of that, or if it was something else that compelled him...

He was saying all of that like he knew every single thing about her, so she wanted to test him. "You keep saying that, as if you know where I was born - you don't."

He was silent long enough that she thought he disconnected. "Home isn't where you are born into this world. You taught me that." Her breath hitched. "It was also part of your message, whether you meant it or not." Did that "also" mean he actually knew her before getting shot in the head? Or did it mean something else? She wished he would just speak plainly. Though now she was starting to get curious about this message he keeps talking about.

"Can be a place of mind, a moment where you know who you are, the history of it. And they can be the places you breathe life into. People you breathe life into. Never would have known the Divide had it not been for you." His voice was soft when he said that. It sounded more personal than anything else he had said thus far.

Was he someone she had breathed life into?

"The road you made with your tracks, again and again. You were the only one willing to make the journey to and from here... a hard road. Kept the land before the Divide alive through seasons, storms..." It definitely sounded like the Divide was a hellscape, even before it was like this. "...can't have been just a job. Was something more to you. Don't feel for a place - or a people - that hard unless it's home." There was a sense of desperation in his voice. Alex could only wonder if those "people" included him as well.

But she was too scared of his answer to ask that. "I've walked a lot of hard roads," she said. Even before the Mojave. She knew that in her bones even if she couldn't place names to them. "What makes the places I went to then any different from here? It doesn't mean anything."

"It means everything - even if you deny it, cast it aside, that speaks to what you are, proves what happened here." It sounded like he was pleading with her. Like he needed her to understand. She wished she could. "It was you walking that road that kept the Divide alive. It grew from what you did. Settlers... camps... filling that old world city. Chance for a new nation, new beginning, new way of thinking. I gained a new way of thinking." From the Divide as a concept, or her? She couldn't help but wonder... "Could've breathed new life into the Mojave, bridging East, West. Like Hoover Dam... but not Old World, something you made. Road was a supply line." He sounded almost proud to brag about her accomplishments.

She was getting so close, that she could taste it. "Maybe you should just tell me what happened."

"NCR saw the worth in that road you made." His tone shifted - any softness in his voice replaced by cold harshness. "Staked a claim, whether it was wanted or not. And where the Bear tries to cling to life, the Legion comes... bearing messages. Some brought by blade. Others... by couriers." She wondered if he was one of them. "You knew what was coming, as sure as I know what's coming for you." He spat the sentence out. "This time you carry the burden. Walk West into the sun, and keep walking until it dies. There - I'll be waiting."

Honestly, he was a little melodramatic. It should've pissed her off, but for some reason the things he spoke of just made her want to cry.

There had to be some reason he kept equating her to death. It probably had something to do with how the Divide ended up like this, but she still couldn't remember. And it didn't make sense. Why would she destroy something so dear to her?

To get the final answers she sought, she hoisted her anti-material rifle and kept trudging down the dangerous, lonesome road he wanted her to walk. Although... it was a little more bearable with ED-E at her side. ___________________ Alex stood, mouth agape, as the Ashton silo slowly opened up and revealed what ruined the old world.

As the warhead inched out of its centuries of slumber, Alex became angry. She became furious when she watched it soar through the sky and detonate not long after.

Not for the destruction - the only things left in the Divide would try and kill her anyway. No, she was fuming at the fact that Ulysses lead her to do this. For what? To teach her a lesson about something she could only just barely recall? To repeat history because she was unlucky enough to forget about it?

She's gonna slug him when they meet. __________________ "Fucking. Tunnelers!"

Needless to say, Alex was even more pent up after getting thrown around by those creatures whilst getting bombarded by shrapnel from the blasts.

Thankfully, there weren't nearly as many in the hotel and she and ED-E made short work of them. She also got some time to take a breather and heal, and she made sure to repair any cracks in her companion's casing while she was at it. She took that time to reflect on the things she had learned since coming to the Divide - about her coming here, and how she knew Ulysses. There was... something pulling at her mind, but it was all still too blurry and vague to properly grasp it. The harder she tried, the more of a headache it was, so she decided to stop for now. Ulysses would tell her more eventually anyway.

It was nice to see ED-E happily beeping as he floated around her, reminding her that even if she couldn't remember past friends, she had new ones now - friends that helped her navigate and survive in this unforgiving wasteland. Even if most of them were miles and miles away, they still gave her strength just from knowing they were there to return to.

She swore to herself that she would get back to them no matter what.

They left a little while later and exited to the rooftop of the building. there, Alex was met with a familiar static. ED-E being there with her had cheered her up enough that all she did was sigh when Ulysses' voice came through.

"Hopeville, High Road, Ashton... tiny cracks in the earth, nothing compared to the road carved ahead." She was taken aback. Usually, he never sounded this mad at the beginning of their conversations. "Before you... this is the edge of the Divide. Ahead lies your work, the history you burned into the earth. What you brought to the people here." He growled out every "you" like it was something disgusting to even mention. Like she was the boogeyman that kept him awake at night.

Hell, she might be.

Alex wanted to rip him a new one, yell at him until it got through his thick skull that she couldn't even remember, but as she surveyed the land - all its smoke and fire and ash... she felt strangely resigned. And sad.

"What... happened here?"

"You delivered a package." He sounded calmer now. "Had markings that matched those in the Divide. Not all... but enough. Military markings, from someplace the Bear savaged in the West. Maybe some of those markings reminded you of home... made you carry it."

Alex felt her head throb. She recalled something similar...

"I. I don't quite remember it."

"It was from West. From deep in NCR. Whether made by them or not... it came here. Through your hands. It was a device, a detonator. One I'd never seen before - or heard before." He sounded haunted. "You carried that thing into the Divide. I know because I followed as you walked the road, watched you do it."

An image flashed in her mind - a man walking side by side with her, talking about random nothings and everything all at once. A memory filled with flashes of smiles and sideways, longing glances. A glimpse of feelings long forgotten. No, not forgotten. Buried. Deep.

The pain remembering gave her didn't allow her a chance to even process that, let alone speak, before he continued, "You brought it here, to the community you built. And you are responsible for what happened after - when the device opened, started to speak. When it did, the Divide answered back."

Another flash. Her bragging about the last job she'd ever have to take with dozens of others. They all cheered and grinned up at her, reverence on their faces and pride in her heart for something she had built. In the center of the crowd, she honed in on one smile in particular, meeting his eyes and smiling back. It was like they were in their own world.

She held her head now. Not even her worse migraines felt like this. Doc Mitchell did say that forcibly trying to remember anything would be painful, but this...

And damn it all, her eyes welled up every time he said "you" with such venom, and she didn't even know why!

"Those missiles you've seen, buried in their silos. They exploded beneath the ground, cracked the landscape. Sand, ash... the dead... the Divide skies became a graveyard."

She remembered screaming, the crowd going from joyful to fearful all in a matter of seconds. The sting of betrayal as she realizes she had been set up.

As curious as she was to fully remember her past, her head was killing her so she asked something that pertained to him first.

She gritted her teeth to try and minimize the effect the pain had on her and said, "How did you even survive that?"

"Should've died there... but now that I know you live..." His voice held an amalgamation of emotions, she couldn't tell whether he was purely angry about that or not. "The machines here... saved me. I was the only survivor, or I thought I was. Your package woke up medical machines, close to the one that shadows you. They fixed me, then began to build more of themselves. They stay in the Divide, never roam beyond it. Never leave the silos without a human to shadow, like hounds." He really has no affection for eyebots. "Maybe they saw the flag on my jacket, thought I was America. If so, history saved me. A sign."

Alex wondered if their history together would be able to save them.

Well, she's been in a similar situation with Benny, so she could guess why he wanted her to go to such lengths to meet with him again. "So this is revenge for nearly killing you, then."

"Not the name I'd give it. Not the name the dead would give it. Soldiers of Bear died here... Legion died, too, my brothers." Ah. He used to be Legion. "They're still dying, both of them, all around us." The marked men were proof enough of that, but she didn't think that's what he meant. Must've been alluding to the Mojave. NCR was stretched too thin trying to copy a dead world, and the Legion would collapse as soon as Ceasar died, and if her latest visit indicated anything, that would happen sooner rather than later.

"None of the people that lived here survived... yet all of them West and East, they hold on as the Divide tears at them." She couldn't help but think that the same goes for the both of them as well.

"Revenge isn't the message I have for you." A pause. "More than that... Alexandria."

She couldn't help but wonder how much more. The ache in her heart and head might allude to a notion of it, but she always was fond of ignoring her important emotions.

The pain had subsided a bit though, so she felt all right enough to ask more about the package. "If I cared so much about the community here, the people here, why would I have brought that package here in the first place?"

"I've walked the East. You've walked the West, more than I have." He listed a handful of locations, each accompanied by a slight twinge of familiarity. "Whatever you saw out there, wasn't enough to make you stay. Maybe the markings on the package reminded you of the road home."

Seeing all those old-world markings left by Ulysses did give her a slight sense of nostalgia every time she came across them, but was that enough of a reason? To return to some arbitrary location just for the sake of it?

Then she recalled what she had remembered earlier - the blurry man that smiled so warmly at her and the crowd that looked upon her with adoration. Now that she thought about it, that man must've traveled with her to a lot of places... Why didn't she see him in any of the memories of the locations she went to out west?

Did she... did she come back because of that mystery man?

Now having confirmed that she really did care about this place, or at least, the people who inhabited it, she was hurt at his accusations.

"How could I have known!? I -!" She stopped short, not fond of absolutes. "If I loved this place and its people, then I would've never delivered something that could destroy it."

"If you remembered fully what happened, then you would know." Ouch. "You carry death wherever you go - if the Mojave doesn't know it yet, it will." Ouch. "What happened here, can happen again. You've already proved it, what you did in Ashton. The silo there."

She was a mix of hurt and anger. Leaning more toward anger. "I had no idea it was active until it was in the air!"

A short, bitter laugh. "Didn't stop you though. Like carrying a chip to Vegas, Old World death in your hand. Pieces of the Old World like that just need someone careless enough to take them where they need to go, to do their killing."

She's a courier. She carries packages where they're requested to go, it's what she does.

"I'm not to blame for Ashton, the Chip, or the Divide."

"All these roads, you walked. These packages you carried. Think it wasn't your choice?" He sounded incredulous. "Of course it was your choice. You could have stayed in the Mojave. But you chose to come, couldn't let be - not in you to let go."

"I -"

"You came for no other reason than you were curious, restless - always have been. Had to know the why of it - now I'll show you."

She was riled up again, pulling on her hair in an attempt to not lose her cool completely. "The why of it? You're the one who needs to answer that! Why the hell are you doing this?"

She honestly couldn't fathom why he's been so keen on dragging her through the mud every chance he gets. And now both her feelings and her head hurt, so she at least deserved to know that much.

"Want to hear the answer of it. Not just history's answer... your answer for what happened here."

She stopped, mouth agape. Was he serious? "I can barely remember the event itself and you want to know my reasoning? Sounds to me like you're just stuck in the past. You have no direction in life, so you decided to create a devil in your head to get mad at."

Ulysses hummed, neutral. Not betraying any sense of emotion. "If only you knew the half of it..."

She wanted to scream at all the walls he put up. It wasn't fair that he could know everything about her, but she hardly knew a single thing about him.

"Well, I don't! You barely tell me anything about yourself, so how could I? What I do know is that what happened here sounds like it was orchestrated by the NCR, not me. It was an accident on my part, you have got to let that anger go."

"Accident? Ignorance is a choice. The chip - a choice. As for anger... it is what I carry for the dead, and all that come here."

It seemed that anger was the only clear emotion he allowed himself to show. Alex couldn't help but wonder if he was still angry at her or for her when he presumed her dead. She was nothing more than a scapegoat for the feelings he couldn't share.

For some strange reason, she felt her heart ache.

Her big mouth could never shut up, so she impulsively asked, "What, did I kill your family? Your wife? Children?"

Another one of his favored, long pauses. "There were many things that died with the Divide... yet some survived. As for my family... my tribe lives... its history? Died long ago, fell under the shadow of the Bull... consumed by another symbol. No... this isn't about family shared by blood. Its blood shared by acts, not by chance."

"The NCR used me to shed that blood, but Ulysses..." She was glad he couldn't see her expression at that moment. "I was part of that community too... so what was I?"

"You-" His voice came out slightly strangled and he coughed to clear it up. "You Alexandria... were a Courier." The anger started to leak out of his voice, replaced with... something. "And a symbol. And a leader. You built the Divide, gave it life, only to tear it down." His voice was barely a whisper when he said, "You were loved Alexandria..." Her breath hitched. He sounded distraught, but only for a moment. He hardened his voice again and continued, "...and your actions, the death you wrought, was your answer to what the Divide felt for you."

She tried to keep her voice steady, her head was pounding. She took a deep breath before saying, "You blame me - clearly. But tell me Ulysses, why do you care so much?"

"...There are some things that I can't tell you. Some things get buried and need - deserve - to stay there. Hidden under the rubble like the Divide."

She was careful, keeping her voice even as she said, "But there are some things that can still be told. Give me something that isn't buried."

"That is... fine." He still didn't sound completely convinced, but that was alright as long as he gave her something. She chose to ignore why she wanted to know so desperately.

"The community that was once here... and the package you brought... both had markings of the Divide. Markings of America. You've seen the marks, the symbol. As early as the Hopeville silo, maybe." Earlier than that. She had seen them painted in Big Mountain and Zion, in locations she now knew were places he had stayed. "You carried it etched on your weapons. The Divide, its buildings, its people, were built around those same markings, surrounded them here..."

Another brief memory, buildings with the symbol painted on them, tattoos of it etched into people's skin. A way to differentiate and stand out. A symbol of pride... and of hope.

"...markings like the flag on my back. When I followed your road to the Divide those years ago, I saw the symbol I wore all around me."

And a memory of someone new who blended in from the moment he joined. "An old world symbol. Strong, to survive here - its people, strong. Outlast the Bear, outlast the Bull. Promise of something better." His voice grew cold. "Ceasar was right to want it dead. NCR was right to want to rake their claws in it. Seeing it... changed me, just as seeing Hoover Dam changed Ceasar and the NCR."

She could imagine. After mingling with both, their obsessions with the Dam were sometimes scary. If his obsession with the promise the Divide held and the people who made up that community was half as dangerous as theirs...

"Seeing it end changed me, too."

There it was.

"You believed in this place," she said. A statement, not a question. "What it was, anyhow."

"There was hope here, another chance. Not just for the Divide, but for me as well. A new nation, stirring to life. A place I could have set my flag. Not the America of old. But something larger than the tribes of the East, something larger than the houses of the West. Something better. The Divide... could have bridged both, like Hoover Dam. Now, like the Dam, it's too covered in blood to see what it could have been."

It sounded to her like he was desperate to find a home.

"You gave life to this place. I followed your road here, saw the Divide. You led me here so that I could see. Then, you became something more than just a beacon for wayward souls. " He sounded more broken than angry when he said, "Then, you brought it to an end."

With what she could remember through the ache of her head, all the lost emotions bubbling back up all at once, she sort of understood where he was coming from. No matter which memory flashed through her mind, all of them had one thing in common.

A feeling of "home."

"And that's why you want me dead. Revenge." It was hard to let that out, forced really. The memories of a place she loved mixed with confirming the fact that Ulysses of all people wanted her dead hurt more than the physical pain.

Wait. "Of all people..?"

"My history isn't revenge, or hate. The road that brought us both here - isn't about that. It's about the message you carried. The one in that package, whether you knew it or not. Whether you remember it or not. The message that one can kill a nation. Can kill a symbol. And all that gather beneath its flag. I don't blame you for the Divide. I blame you for what you made me see. Now you will see what you brought to the Mojave, and that will be my message to you."

As tumultuous as her emotions were at the moment, she still thought that was quite petty. Out of the nation she created and that he worshipped, there were only the two of them left. They should be celebrating with each other, not planning to kill one another. She couldn't even muster up her normal bloodlust for him, didn't even want to.

Honestly, more than anything, she just wanted some painkillers.

But some things still weren't very clear..."I don't understand. What message?"

"The nations of the Mojave. Cracked and broken as the Divide... its people, the same." That didn't sound very fun. "I have walked at Ceasar's command, across the East, into the West. Far enough to know that Ceasar's word did not drive me." The fact that he was here at all was a testament to that. "Far enough to see the end. You've seen it. No courier, whatever their flag, can ignore it. Why you didn't stay in the West. Why you wandered. There is no future in the Bear or Bull." She agreed with that, at least. "The Bear is diseased, barely clings to life." She's talked to countless people about the NCR and how they're stretched too thin. "And the Bull... when the Legion reaches the sea, it will turn on itself and die." On that end, the only thing holding the Legion together was Ceasar, and he didn't have long left anyway. "Killing one will end both. And you made me see how one could do it. Your ignorance, carelessness - can be used with a purpose."

She wanted him to see reason - "Then you learned the wrong message," - that her life was more than just a tale of how one person could ruin so much good.

"Really. Who's to say the truth of it. You? No. You walked from, turned your back on it. Now you and others will answer for it. I'll start with the West. Let that burn. Then... if the East falters after, I'll bring the Divide there as well. Burn away the flags. Begin again."

He... was beginning to sound like a maniac. He was so wrapped up in what could've been, that he refused to live with the second chance the Divide gave him. It was no accident that he didn't die in the initial blasts, that the medical bots found him when they did. Fate was finicky like that.

It was no accident for her to survive, either.

"You wanted me to come here - to the Divide... to my home. I'm here, now what?"

"Your road's not done. Haven't walked it full yet, not nearly enough. The way ahead and below - leads to the heart of the Divide. And there... you and I, we'll have an ending to things."

"One way or another." She was sure about that. "But I'm not done talking with you just yet, I had more questions."

"Curiosity drove you this far. Let's see what else it can do."

They talked for a while more and she learned about his promise not to kill her - an order from Ceasar to not kill any couriers - and more about the package. She also asked him about his recordings.

"Scour the Divide, claw at it for meaning - but my words will give you no answer." He was spiteful, that's for sure.

She needed him to understand. "When you lose everything that makes you, you - when you have no choice but to search for yourself in the sand that falls uncontrollably through your fingers... maybe then you'll understand why I cling to every piece of information I can. Even if those recordings involved things that I wasn't a part of, you were. And as someone who was a part of the Divide before it was destroyed, that means that anything involving you is important to me as well." That had to be the reason why she clung to his every word. It had to be.

"They won't help you understand what happened here. And they won't help you understand me. Keep them, listen, study them - they won't help you here in the Divide."

On the contrary, she thought she learned a lot from those tapes. Regardless, she still asked for clarification on the ones she had picked up so far - wanted to know as much as she could.

He told her some but, "Walk more, see me face to face - you might earn more." "One last thing before I go..." This is what she had been gearing up to this entire conversation. A chance to know not just about herself or him, but about them. "What is our history? How do you know me?"

"I said before that some things are best left buried." Defensive.

She replied, "Sure, but just think about my motivations for treading the Divide - my curiosity being sated." He had said that curiosity had driven her this far after all, and it was true.

He sighed and relented. "At first, I just knew of you. Your name. Your road to and from the Divide, what that meant for the Legion. Just another courier that I shouldn't kill. Until..."

She held on to foolish, foolish hope. She didn't even know what for. "Until?"

"Until I walked into the Divide and saw you, surrounded by the people that lived here - your smile as you talked to them like you were a part of them, not just their symbol of a future. You... drew me in. Like you did so many others." Her heart was beating, pounding really.

"I would have never discovered the Divide without you," he said, barely above a whisper.

It meant more to her now than when he said it in their first meeting outside the Hopeville silo. Back then, she didn't know the depths of this place - what it meant to her and to him. Now, she knew the weight that sentence carried - he never would have discovered his purpose without her. She grit her teeth when her head joined in on the pounding once more. More memories, accompanied by a deep voice from a companion, but he sounded happy, not angry and distraught like she's now used to.

If she was unsure of them having history before, she was now.

"Where can I find you?" She wanted to see him, that piece of her past that still exists. She couldn't help feeling that there was still something very important that she was overlooking though...

"At the end of the Divide, through the trenches and wreckage - that's where you'll find me. My new home, here, amongst dead men. You and that machine, keep your eyes on the tower that cuts the horizon... you'll find your way. Made it this far... not much farther to go." __________________________________________ The tiny iota of affection Alex had for Ulysses evaporated into seething, white-hot anger when he took control of ED-E.

She knew he didn't like him, or any eyebots for that matter, but that didn't give him the right to use him and take him apart until he was no longer useful. She knew the only reason he went into such detail was to make her angry - to give her another reason to come to him.

It pissed her off.

She was able to vent some of that anger on various things on her way to Ulysses' Temple - including an oversized deathclaw she affectionately named Rawr.

And now here she was, at the beginning of what could possibly be the end. She wasn't worried though, it wouldn't be the first time she looked death in the eye, and she doubted it would be the last.

Thankfully, it didn't take her long to find her companion.

"Oh my gosh ED-E!"

He rushed into her arms. <Grateful beeping>

While she looked him over for any damages, she asked, "Are you okay?"

"What happened?"

"So it was an override frequency... I don't understand... He said he was going to destroy you, scrap you for parts..." She felt a bit funny. She was furious at Ulysses for taking her friend and threatening him, but why would he bluff..?

Her thoughts were interrupted by ED-E flying around her head and beeping worriedly.

"Oh! Don't worry ED-E, I understand it wasn't your fault. I'm just glad you're alright."

"But why did he call you in the first place? He had to have known I was coming anyway..."

"Hmm... Well, whatever he's planning, Ulysses wants us both there. Come on, I'd hate to disappoint him."

Together, they ascended the elevator and she was finally in the room with him. He stood on the other side of the silo, in front of a missile that was illuminated by the sun's light, with an Old World flag right above him. The light cast a shadow across his form, so she couldn't see him very well from her position near the entrance, just his silhouette. She approached him carefully, not sure if he was going to turn around and attack. She doubted it, but better safe than sorry.

As Alex got closer, she noticed the same symbol that she had seen all over the Divide on the back of his coat, confirming her suspicions that he was the newcomer she had remembered.

A few more steps, and she could make out his locs. She hadn't seen that hairstyle on anyone before.

A sharp pain, a flash of a face. No one except-

He turned around. "So you came, Alexandria."

She clutched her head and fell down with a muted scream. It was on fire. She could remember, oh god, she could remember everything. All the time they spent together, all the secret glances and longing touches. How they worked, together, to make the Divide into a thriving community that could rival the likes of the NCR or the Legion.

"Do you understand now?" She looked up at him from her position on the ground, but there were too many emotions swirling in his eyes and it hurt to try and decipher them, so she let her head drop back to her hands. "Do you now know why I am filled with such rage?" He yanked on her arm, forcing her to her feet. "Look at me Alexandria."

Her head felt like it was being filled with cement and baked in the sun, but she complied. It was the least she could do now that she knew, even if she was still trying to make sense of it all. She still had enough strength to shove him though, so she did. ED-E beeped worriedly behind her, but they both paid him no mind.

"Now that you have your memories again, what will you do? Watch your homeland burn again one last time. Kill me, perhaps. Maybe all you want is your machine. Doesn't matter now, the Divide giants are awakening. The missiles here, on their way home. There is no way to stop them."

"Ulysses I..." Maybe there was an apology there. Maybe not. "I still don't completely understand - why are you doing this?"

"You gave me new life Alexandria." He glared at her. "I loved you." She flinched. She knew that to be true at least. Only a fool would interpret how they interacted in the past any other way. "In the nation you built, I saw hope. I found people worth fighting for. You made me realize that I didn't need to be under Ceasar for the rest of my life, that even without my tribe, I could still have a new family that would care." She could tell that he was fighting the urge to scream.

So was she. It was all so unfair.

"When you destroyed the Divide, you crushed that hope... that chance for me to have a new beginning. I mourned you, even after all you'd done. Do you know how it felt for you to just reappear in the Mojave - staying in one place longer than a courier had any right to, dealing with a war that might have never happened were it not for your destruction?"

"I loved you too Ulysses!" She still did. She thought so anyway. "And I loved the Divide. I know that now..."

He went still - for a moment. "You don't see, listen," he growled, "Even when it's all around you, no matter if I nailed it into your head like a gift from Ceasar. You destroyed it all. Nearly killed me, flesh and spirit. You destroyed something larger than the Bear, greater than the Bull. And even when you could have turned away, you brought it again, in that machine. You destroyed a nation taking its first breath. A place that could've been my home. Now, I'll destroy yours."

It hurt to ask but... "If you meant to kill me, you should have done it a long time ago, when you first saw my name in that ledger at Primm."

"I didn't believe it at first, was going to find you in Vegas once you had finished your job. Except... you never arrived, not until I was long gone. Thought the Mojave would sort you out, but you kept growing and growing, giving the people of the Mojave hope, a chance to be free from the factions fighting around them. I couldn't stay silent after that, couldn't stand watching you thrive not knowing what you'd done. So I called you here."

"What happened at the Divide, what I did, was an accident. What you're doing - it's insane." She firmly believed that no matter how foolish her actions in the past were, this was the NCR's fault, not hers.

"No, now there is purpose. I believe you when you say you were... careless. The Divide... the chip... the machine you brought here... Many messages can be taken from that, intended or not. What I do now is an act of conviction."

Damn it all, she still cared enough for him that she didn't want him to do something he would regret. Making the same mistake she did, but on purpose this time... he would hate himself for it.

"If you blame me, then let me answer for it, not others." Push comes to shove, she could knock him out and drag him away if need be. She hoped she was still stronger than him...

"Blame you? No, learned from you. Both the weapon to kill a nation, and the strength to do it." That is not what he should have gained from that. "You showed me a road, a way to carry my message. You've already answered for what you've done. Now the nation you're trying to build will answer for it."

"So what - you're gonna bomb the Mojave?"

"No, not the Mojave. The West, all that's been built since America died. Same symbols as before the war, now the flag carried by a tribe of children. You were born in the West, walked it frequently, but didn't stay. You know the reason... the Bear grows without structure, follows a symbol without knowing its history. After this, only one flag will remain over the Mojave. Let that one fly and destroy itself."

She didn't care about the NCR, had left it for a reason - as he said - but she couldn't let him do this to himself.

Maybe logic would get through to him? "You can't destroy the West, even with all the missiles here."

"Hmph. No need to destroy the Bear, just cut its throat. You taught me that at the Divide - only need to cut off the supply line, the road, to watch something greater die. I'll turn the Long 15 into miles of fire, cut off the Mojave. NCR will fall back, lose Hoover Dam... and leave their throat exposed to the Legion."

Damn. He planned this through more than she thought he would. "You might not believe in the new nation I'm trying to build, but I do."

He glared at her. "Vegas has had no real chance, you've made no real impact since you've arrived. All you've delivered are empty promises. You've walked the Mojave, let the shadow of flags fall upon you, yet walk carelessly, no real allegiance. Your words - empty as your actions."

"Ulysses. You still haven't told it to me straight - I need to know why you're doing this. If not for me, then for history's sake."

"The why of it... you taught me the why of it. If you believe in something enough, you must be willing to let it burn, lest it claim you."

"Are you afraid that I'll finally be the death of you? If you let me live?" She took a step closer. "Are you really willing to watch me burn all over again?"

He hesitated for a moment before continuing. "....There is more. These governments of the two-headed bear... the Legion... they carry Old World ideas into an age that no longer needs them, where they cannot live."

Another step. She could touch him if she wanted to. "I'm not talking about the NCR or the Legion, I'm talking about our history."

He inched closer himself, drawn to her like he always was. "Our history... the Divide. That history has been written, its lessons learned. There is nothing more to be dug from these cracks in the earth, no more fury to be torn from its sky." He sounded unsure.

The pounding in her skull started to subside now that everything was fitting into place once more. She was able to stand straight, looked him in the eye as she said, ""You can go home again, Courier." Not a message for me - but for you." He looked away. "My home in the East, Dry Wells, is no more. It is part of the Legion. The only other home... the chance of a home... was what you built at the Divide." Back at her. "Then you destroyed it."

She smiled, sadly. "You said a home is a place you breathe life into, a moment where you know who you are."

"...There is truth in that." He was growing more and more unsure. "History has proven it. But the Mojave's proof that no homeland is sacred... until the larger symbols are destroyed. Whatever is built, the Bear, Bull... even Vegas... will tear it apart, convert it, either with purpose, or by accident. "

"Our history is stronger than that Ulysses. The Divide survived in us. It's something that is still worth fighting for - we can rebuild it."

He stepped back and looked away, breaking the tension that had started to form between them. "Nothing can prevent what comes. The missiles will launch. These questions - your words, or mine - what do they matter to you." A statement, not a question. He truly believed that he didn't matter to her anymore - that what he said and did was worthless.

It broke her heart.

She followed him. She couldn't let him believe that she would ever not care about him. "Even... even if the missiles launch, and I die here - if I can convince you, that's enough for me."

He whipped his head around, meeting her eyes once more. Whatever he saw in her expression... "It is... enough. It may be... that as much destruction has been written in the earth here... you can build something else, as you built the Divide. You have spoken truly. There is a shadow of a nation behind you, the hope of a people..."

He grimaced. "Yet it may not matter. The Divide still stands against us."

Us. Hearing that alone was enough to make her want to cry.

But he sounded resigned, not joyful. "The Divide? What do you mean?" She said.

"Our enemies gather outside... shadows of the Bear and Bull... they will have found their way in, just as you did. It was always my intention - in case I could not kill you, the marked men would flood this place, cut off your escape. If we cannot prevent what comes, then let us make our stand here. Two Couriers, together, at the Divide."

She smiled brightly now, heart filling with emotions she had forgotten she had. "Just like old times."

He hummed, amused. "Indeed."

Finally together again, they fought the marked men. Ulysses charged straight at them, swinging his staff with abandon while his medical bots floated around him to heal him. Alex immediately turned on a stealth boy and started picking off the ones who got behind him or had snipers themselves.

There were just too many though, and eventually, they started to catch on to her whereabouts. A cluster of them rushed toward her, thinking she was easy prey with only one eyebot accompanying her. She switched to her pistol and wove in between cover while she picked them off.

Just when she was about to be skewered by the last marked man who held a thermic lance, she heard a yell and his head split open. He dropped to the ground with a thump, and she was left standing mere feet from Ulysses. They both heaved with exertion when the adrenaline started to fade away. They were covered in blood, Ulysses more so than Alex.

Even in their grisly state, they couldn't take their eyes off one another. They took a step towards each other, one after another, until they were face to face once more.

Ulysses took off his mask, and Alex's breath hitched at finally seeing his face after so long. He threw it along with his staff to the ground in favor of cupping her face, more gentle than he's ever been in his life.

She leaned into his touch almost subconsciously. It felt so good to be near him again - she didn't know how she had gone so long without him by her side. "Alexandria..." A whispered plea, inches from her face.

She smiled at him, following suit in throwing her weapon on the ground, so she could grab the front of his coat and drag him the rest of the distance to kiss her. She mumbled against his lips, "Ulysses." Sweet. So, so sweet.

Their kiss was rough, messy, and tasted a bit like copper, but it was perfect all the same. They were desperate for each other, not complete without the other by their side, and they had been separated for far too long.

It took a few minutes for them to break away, breathing heavily for entirely different reasons than before.

It took ED-E nudging her for them to remember the missiles. They gathered their weapons and raced towards the console that controlled the launch.

When Alex got to it and saw just how much it would take to stop the launch, her heart sank.

ED-E could understand what needed to be done and floated over.

Alex hugged him. "Listen, buddy. If we leave this alone, something very bad will happen to a lot of people."

ED-E replied with, <Sad beeping>

She was on the verge of tears when she said, "You don't even need to do this if you really don't want to."

She was trying so hard not to cry. She honestly didn't give a rat's ass about the NCR or the Legion, but if she let this happen, Ulysses wouldn't be able to move on from his hatred.

She may not care about the factions, but she cared about him.

She also cared about ED-E, which is what made letting him do this so hard. She gave him a weak smile. "I know, I know. I don't want to witness that destruction either. Listen ED-E... All of your memory here will be stored back in your other body in the Mojave, right?"

ED-E replied, <Confirmatory beeping>

"Then when I get back and settle things in the Mojave, I promise I'll help you fly far, and fly fast straight to Navarro."

ED-E perked right back up and started flying around her head, playing his favorite song.

She laughed. "And together I'll help you complete your journey."

ED-E floated towards the console, he was always ready to help - even strangers - and didn't think twice about leaving his mission alone for a while to help her in the Mojave or the Divide.

As he started shutting it all down, he started breaking apart piece by piece. Alex was clenching her hands to keep from crying hard enough that blood started dripping from them.

Right before he was destroyed, Alex said one last thing, "I'm so proud of you ED-E!"

Even through all the sparks and shocks, he replied with one last, <Happy beeping>

Moments later, he was finished. And broken. She knew she would see him again when she got back, but that didn't make it any easier to watch him suffer.

As she calmed herself down, Ulysses took her hands and started applying stimpacks. "I still don't understand why you care for that machine."

She glared at him. "He's more than that." She gave him a pointed look and said, "Plus, I tend to care too much about the people I love." She shoved him as she started walking away.

He was wise enough to not respond to that - but smiled all the same. _____________________________ Back at the Canyon Wreckage, they had a lengthy conversation about all sorts of things. Now that she had her memory back, she knew just how compatible they are even with something as simple as talking. It put her in a better mood to see just how well they fit together even after all this time.

He also quietly thanked her for stopping the launch.

She stayed a few more days at his makeshift camp while they were both recovering, but really it was just an excuse to be with him longer.

When the time came that they were both fully healed from their wounds, Alex decided to swallow her pride and ask, "Will you come back with me to the Mojave?"

He smiled at her, just a slight upturn of his mouth, soft enough to make her want to cry. He ruffled her hair in the way he knew she didn't like and replied, "For the time being, I will stay here - keep the Divide out while you finish your work there. After all... we wouldn't want the battle for Hoover Dam interrupted by tunnelers, now would we?"

She swatted his hand away absentmindedly and shuddered. "Ugh, don't remind me of those things. I would die happy if I never had to see another one ever again." She waited a moment. "I'll miss you, you know."

"I know all too well. It pains me to let you go so soon, but this is a chapter of your history you will need to wrap up with those in the Mojave. I shall stay here, but when you're done..." He placed his hand on her cheek. "I'll be waiting."

He leaned down and kissed her, slow and sweet. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he pulled her closer in return. They stayed like that for awhile until they were both out of breath. Even then, they still stayed in each other's embrace.

It was another minute before they fully pulled away, hands lingering as they didn't wish to let go.

Alex was sad to leave him behind, but she needed to return to the Mojave. "I'll be back with good news soon, okay?"

He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Of course."

She hugged him one last time before heading back into the Mojave, intent on changing history once again, but for the better this time. She would properly shoulder the weight of her sins, and while she couldn't make up for it, she could still do good for the people that rely on her now.

#ulyssesweek2022 #ulysses fallout #my ocs #alex #fallout new vegas #canon compliant violence just a warning #amnesia #this is really long so ill post the ao3 link in a bit #i shouldve done that with the other two as well but i forgot lol

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