#uma facilier

[isleofdarkness]

Uliana is the aunt of everyone on the Lost Revenge. They all call her Aunt Uliana. Uma says her aunt is coming over and everyone instantly lights up because they love her.

"My aunt" "Our aunt, Uma."

[dragoneyes613]

Facilier family road trip

So imagine if the Facilier family would go on a road trip.

Where? I don’t know, from Auradon City to New Orleans.

And they get pulled over for speeding.

So the poor cop, who has no idea what he’s in for, goes over and sees:

At the wheel: Freddie Facilier, probably the only one of them who knows how to drive (yet) and who is slightly too enthusiastic about it. Hence, being pulled over for speeding.

In the passenger seat: Celia Facilier, who is very excited to be riding shotgun for the first time ever.

In the back: Dr. Facilier, the Shadow Man, along with his mother, Mama Odie, and his younger sister, Opal Facilier.

(And maybe Uma’s in here somewhere?)

And the police officer, (who’s from New Orleans, so he knows the reputation of Dr. Facilier and Mama Odie) is thinking, “What did I ever do to deserve this...”

[isleofdarkness]

Jasmine sent the Isle kids cameras to document the conditions on the Isle. The kids don't seem to have figured out that these cameras can hear them as they video record. Which leads to some pretty funny audio- Diego is usually humming punk songs (Jasmine can now identify "Anarchy in the UK" from the first few notes because he hums it so much,) Harriet is usually grumbling angrily in Gaelic or Irish, Ivy is usually cussing Beast black and blue in ways that would make a sailor blush, Uma is just chatting about everything, Gil is narrating everything to the camera as though he's filming a David Attenborough nature documentary, Harry is yelling at people, Ginny is exceptionally sarcastic, and Maverick will more often than not be quietly singing "Come with me and you'll be in a world of human rights violations" to the tune of "Pure Imagination" and somehow she's making that work. The tapes are proof of two things- the Isle is an absolutely horrific place to live, and the Isle kids have massive amounts of personality.

[isleofdarkness]

I guess at least Mal didn't dump lye in Uma's hair? The shrimp incident was still horrific but at least it was only shrimp and not lye or acid or something similar. At least Mal only did chemical warfare once?

(And yes, I know kids are little shits sometimes, but chemical warfare is illegal under the Geneva Convention so is very far past little shit behavior)

[isleofdarkness]

Ares likes Uma because she once beaned him in the head with a conch shell and likes Riah because he once threw his cane at Ares, nailing him in the head with a solid titanium pole.

So to befriend Ares, you just have to hit him in the head with something

[isleofdarkness]

Mal, realizing that if she's daughter of Hades, she and Uma are related; Wait a minute. If Uma- Riah, having anticipated this conversation; No, you and Uma aren't really cousins. Gods work in a different way. They don't share DNA because they don't have DNA. They were created at the same time by the same people, but they're beings of pure magic, not humans with DNA. That's how gods can have kids with other gods and it's not bad, because gods aren't really siblings. It's complicated, but Hades and Poseidon aren't really related, they're barely the same species. That's why Zeus can marry Hera- that poor woman- and it's fine. Mal; That makes no sense. Riah; Just do yourself a favour and don't think about it too hard. Gods operate on completely different rules than we do. You and Hara are related because you're both descended from the same god, but you and Uma aren't related because Poseidon and Hades are very different gods with very different magics. You're fine.

[isleofdarkness]

I should probably mention that for Harriet, CJ, and Uma, getting their hair wet or going into the water will not impact their hair at all because they're ocean creatures. Their skin and hair will just absorb the water once they get out so that they basically dry the second they step onto dry land, and the salt absorbs with it. This makes their lives way easier because they don't need to worry about their hair getting ruined if they fall into the ocean on their ships

[isleofdarkness]

Maverick; *leaning casually against a table, sipping from a mug* Oh, hey, Dad. What's up? Facilier, who was concerned because silence in his house, especially when Maverick is visiting, is never a good thing; I just wanted to check up on... Facilier; This room used to have four walls. Uma, to Maverick; I told you he'd notice!