Prompt 6/10- Anxiety attack
(check tags for tw/cws and lmk if I missed any!) (Forewarning for slight suicidal ideation in this one + a lotta self loathing!)
Umber opened the door to her dorm, threw her bags on the floor and collapsed face first onto the bed. She was screwed. Ultra, mega, super screwed. She raised her head and butted it back into the mattress a few times for good measure before burying her face in the mattress. She grabbed two handfuls of dark, coiled hair and pushed them to the edges of her vision to block out any remaining light. All she could see was the darkness between the pillows and her own body. No more demons, no more exams, no more people asking where she’d been. It was quiet. For the first time in a long time, it was quiet. Her lungs began pumping faster. Her elbows pushed closer to her face as tears began to fall onto the sheets. She was screwed. No one was coming to save her. She couldn’t be saved. She deserved this. Why couldn’t she have just been a better person, maybe then someone-anyone would care about her enough to see what was happening. She was stupid, so so stupid. How could she keep lying to people like this? Her racing thoughts were only interrupted by her own sobs and convulsions as air pushed itself in and out of her. God, she was the worst. She had thought that she was bad before, but she had no idea she could get so much worse. Umber was a bad person, a bad friend, a bad daughter. She was terrible. She wouldn’t blame the authorities if they decided that she’d better be buried alive along with the demon. She would be better off dead than- she felt a hand on her back. Her breathing slowed. She turned around, but there was nothing there. Something gently caressed her cheek, wiping the tears from her face. Then, arms wrapped around her waist. The warm embrace soothed away all her worries. She inhaled deeply and watched as heavy droplets fell into the sheets. She leaned back, closing her eyes. She wasn’t here. She was at home. With her parents. Who never worried for her because there was nothing to worry about. She was comfortable. And her mom had come in to give her a good night hug. She fell into the fantasy and slowly drifted off into unconsciousness. She was safe. She was happy. And she knew it wasn’t real.
