#umbra.

[lortab]

Most of my mutuals know I've been dealing with a cyberstalker. In case you didn't, you know now, I decided to channel my energy into art as an outlet for Apollo. And yes, I know said stalker will see this, and I just want to say: you're helping me heal.

I hope it resonates with anyone else in this position.

[wreckitredglare]

I do not really... appreciate such a term. Even if it is not meant that way. It was never fun to be called a slut with any amount of derision. It just... does not feel good.

[wreckitredglare]

I felt the irritation brimming under my skin, the bristling that happens when talks of past lovers occur. "Am I the only one who doesn't have any exes?" Wouldn't it be nice if I got it right on the first try. I didn't. A lot of us are not so lucky to still have our first loves.

Even more frustrating is the matter that I cannot speak on past loves without feeling... Kind of like a floozy. Like I am some awful, morally corrupt seductress who cannot keep a lover in her bed for longer than a night, and keeps her quadrants filled for even less. I can't speak on lovers lost, no matter how I lost them.

I miss so many of them. The ones I don't miss? I still want to speak about them. It just feels like I never can. Who cares, anyway?

[wreckitredglare]

I truly hate how he makes me feel and how nothing will ever come of it. It's a game to him, and I suppose I should feel the same, but I don't. I should take these jokes as they are. Just jokes. But I feel raw and sore and sensitive... I don't like this at all.

[wreckitredglare]

Well. Now I HAVE to know.

[wreckitredglare]

Leave me alone. Leave me alone. I will not be faulted for loving in any capacity. Not a crush, not a fling, nothing. Leave me and my heart alone.

[filenesdebasement]

nobody doing the captions for project runway can spell “ombré”