Every day, there are a million interesting interactions happening in the world. Most Americans focus on the .01% most interesting ones, like what size butt implants the Basketball Wives are buying. I'mma bring you the news and what I think about it, Abney style. Without further ado, here are my 'top five':
1. Unemployment- 96,000. The number of US jobs added nationwide between July and August. You know what Abney thinks? If you have a job, keep that shit.
2. Racist DNC Tweets- Here's a good one: @mattcorn4, "Obama is just like another loudmouth nigger, just sitting on his ass waiting for his welfare check and complaining about nothing at all!" What Abney thinks: Pretty certain that out of the 44 Presidents we've had, their Presidential wage disqualifies them for welfare. @mattcorn4, 100% certain you're stupid.
3. Tornado Country? On September, Saturday 8th, New York experienced two brief tornados in the city of Manhattan. What Abney thinks: The flood of Mayan believers passing out flyers in the Times Square tunnel begins........now! #endoftheworld2012
4. Chipotle's New Chain- Steven Ells, the owner of Chipotle, is bringing his latest "watch us make your food," Asian-infused chain, Shophouse, to DC Chinatown! What Abney thinks: anything the creator of THE best guacamole (and chicken soft taco...and burrito bowl) makes is lined with gold. #fatkidmoments
5. Old Boys Club? Condoleeza Rice and financier Darla Moore became the first two women admitted to Augusta National Golf Club, which hosts the Masters. What Abney thinks: We're in the 21st century, Augusta National Golf Club Men, yall are terrible, you know you late as hell.