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I can't believe I have a bunch of WIPs for Rarepair October and Platonic November that are still not finished and I just started another smut fic because I'm too tired to commit to a plot :'((((

#rambles #this is why i dont date #unable to commit #:'((((

Unable to Commit

As I sit here and stare at this page, I'm reminded just how unconcentrated I am; how unable I am to commit-to anything. Perhaps that's why I'm so drawn to people who cannot commit to me? That's not really an issue I care to explore right now, so let's move on. Unconcentrated.

I'm at work as I type this away. There are things sitting on my desk, that require no more effort than what goes into deciding to get up and use the restroom. Simple, isn't it? It does us no good to wait, it is inevitable that we make the trip. So why, to our own detriment, do we sit and wait 'til we're about to burst, when all we had to do was get up and go to the damn bathroom?! So that's where I'm at, looking at a desk full of shit that I could take care of, need to take care of, will eventually have to take care of, and what do I do? I sit and wait. I occupy myself with tasks completely irrelevant to my job, such as writing this blog. Which is a task I find hard to commit to as well. Since I started this over two hours ago, I've jumped back and forth between three email accounts (two personal, one work), opened an article about Ryan Gosling, created a FedEx shipment (still haven't printed yet), opened a window to update an account (still haven't logged in), browsed Instagram on my phone, texted a friend about weekend plans, added songs to a Spotify playlist and well, a hell of a lot of bullshitting. And it's not that I don't like to complete anything, I find completing tasks to be very rewarding. It's just that, as soon as I start one, I can't help but think how much nicer it would be to not have to do it.

I know I'm not alone in this. Believe me, I don't consider any of this to be profound or unique or whatever, just my ramblings, just the way I'm feeling right now. I mean, more than anything, I find it quite ridiculous. What the hell is my deal anyway? Whenever a coworker comes around the corner, I try to find a nonchalant way of hiding the browser, only to spaz out, undoubtedly looking far more suspicious than if I just continued to type. Haha. Seriously though, I have got to get it together.

xoxo-->a soon to be unemployed~

Kay.Elle