Hello! I was curious to know how you started a sexual relationship with your mother, as I’ve been curious to try myself. The most incestuous we’ve ever gotten was us making out a few times when I was younger (I miss the taste of her tongue on mine)
Hi anon! Well first of all, normally I’d say it’s really not particularly common for family to be open to sexual relationships and it’s important to weigh the costs and benefits about opening that door. But considering you’ve already done things with her, it sounds like you’re in a good place. I would say a way to break the ice could be asking to talk about what happened when you were younger and how she feels about it — depending on what she says you can open up to her about wanting to rekindle that dynamic.
Anyway, as for my experience, my parents are divorced and my mother invited her close friend who is also a single mom to live with us. So they have sort of a life partnership thing going on. My mom is “unfortunately straight,” in that she isn’t into women but wishes she was because she’s had bad experiences with men. Unsurprisingly, she is not interested in dating. Our dynamic right now is that I pleasure her, and that’s it — I don’t like being touched very much, so it works pretty well for me! I enjoy doing it and she gets to be sexually fulfilled without dealing with men. She’s aware that I’m in love with her but doesn’t reciprocate romantically. How that started does involve some underage activity so I’m going to put that under the cut in case that’s something people don’t want to see.
TW BELOW: brief underage, brief incestuous abuse mention (no detail), waiting until 18
To preface, I’m aware this isn’t a super healthy start to the relationship but we do currently attend counseling and are in a good spot :) You’re welcome to oppose our relationship but please keep that to yourself, I really don’t care.
So, I’ve been interested in my mom for about as long as I’ve had any sexual interest. I won’t go into detail on that, but I just want to sort of provide that context that I’ve always been attracted to her.
My parents divorced when I was 13 and it was really rough for me (it was messy LOL) and I would occasionally sleep in bed with my mom. Again, as little detail as possible, she woke up to me jorkin it in bed and I had a panic attack and admitted I was attracted to her. Not my finest. I honestly don’t fully remember what happened but she essentially said not to do that but she still loved me. It was one of the last times I slept in bed with her but I don’t remember if it was THE last.
Anyway, cut to age 17 and we were on the way back from her parents a few states over and we were chatting. I had come out as lesbian a year or so earlier and I was talking about a girl I liked at school and she said she was jealous of me for liking women because of how awful men are. I asked her if she missed being in a relationship and she said not really, but missed the closeness and then made a joke about needs. I said there were women that would like doing things to her without reciprocation, attempting to subtly hint that I was one of those women (honestly not certain how I came across to her) and she sort of laughed it off. Later in the conversation, I told her I thought I might be on the aroace spectrum and explained demisexuality to her.
A couple weeks later (I’m assuming because of our conversation in the car but she didn’t explicitly say) she sat me down and asked if I remembered what happened when I was younger and whether I was still attracted to her. Obviously I said yes, and she opened up to me about some childhood trauma involving incestuous abuse. I cried, she cried, it was a whole thing. I freaked out because I thought she was implying I was triggering her by being attracted to her, but she explained to me the attraction wasn’t my fault, she understood, she still loved me, etc etc. I was super freaked out by the whole thing because I still felt like I was being triggering by her knowing about my feelings and I basically didn’t talk to her for a week or two. She sat me down again and I made a whole scene about being sorry for being sick in the head and whatnot, and she comforted me. After that it didn’t come up for a while.
When I was 18 (not like, on my birthday lol, it was a while later) it was just the two of us and home and TLDR she invited me to shower with her and it was the first time she let me touch her naked. After that, we had a bunch of really long conversations and talked about feelings and logistics and stuff. That’s about it for the start of the relationship! We started going to counseling together about a year ago — clearly my mom has some baggage given the abuse, and we have a relationship that can easily tip into being unhealthy, so it’s been really helpful.
Does it… make someone an abuser and a bad mother to hope her daughter one day feels about her the way you feel about yours?
(Asking for a friend)
Naw, only if you're doing things to try to make her feel that way as you raise her, which is grooming. But just having those feelings or wishes doesn't say anything about you as a person or a mother at all.
Hi. Would you be totally supportive and an ally of cases involving adult mothers and sons who truly love and want each other and desire to be together? :D
I support all consensual consang/kinam relationships.
When u guys are like playing together does she do things not physically touching u to help u get off? How common is it for u guys to kiss romantically or sexually?
To be clear she does physically touch me, just not between my legs. I don't remember the exact post I talked about this but you can scroll through the monicairl tag a bit (or maybe I'm crazy and I only talked about it in DMs?). I have a chronic pain condition so I don't really like being touched there. But she'll touch my breasts and stuff like that. Mostly I just enjoy giving her pleasure, that's just what I like! I suppose besides touching she does vocalize and verbalize her pleasure, which I like a lot.
My mom is the kind of person who associates kissing with romance, so we don't really kiss on the mouth. I'd definitely like to though, so I'm considering bringing it up at some point to see if she may have changed her feelings on it since it originally came up!
are you guys worried about the rest of your family finding out?
I mean. Yeah, very. Idk how familiar you are with my other posts so -- I live at home with her, my aunt, and young cousin. My aunt and cousin are not related to us by blood or law, they are family friends that live with us because both women are single moms (aunt and cousin are just how we refer to them, since we consider them part of the family and those are the closest analogs). My older sister is out on her own and my dad has his house with his wife that I sometimes visit.
Anyway, yeah we're always concerned about my aunt and cousin finding out because we don't want anyone to be uncomfortable. Being a part of our family is a lifeline for them and to make them feel alienated or unsafe would be horrible. Plus we love them obviously so we don't want them to feel weird about us. So we're very careful about that. There's also obviously the concern of other family members finding out, which could damage our relationships or worst case scenario affect our public image, especially my mom since she is in the position where she could be seen as the abuser. Being in any sort of consang relationship can be really dangerous in that sense, which sucks so hard.
Had a friend hmu with your profile because I drunkenly confided this story in her.
During 2022-2023 I was a content creator on OF and Fansly.
I lived alone with my mom who needed money too so I advertised on reddit we sold side by side stuff with no touching.
I turned down every request to do stuff together because 1, I wasnt a lesbian and neither was my mom and 2, they were offering us a few hundred dollars to permanently change our relationship.
Fast forward to late 2022 around November or December.
We get offered 2500 dollars by this insane dude who would send us pics of cocaine and really nice hotel rooms and would have videos of him driving expensive cars and stuff. From his posts I gather he ran a chain of drug rehabs???? Didn't know you could even make that kinda money doing that.
Anyway he paid me and my mom to record a video going for a walk at any nearby park, and we had to go into the woods, flash the camera each, and make out while looking out for people.
I said no until he went from 800 to 2500.
My mom was like lets just do it and put the money away and never do it again.
We went to the park (we lived basically near the Everglades so we absolutely had places to go)
And when I say we both felt a weird click the moment we started kissing, we made out for what felt like 10 minutes.
We got back in the car after sending him it and we were like a mix of very confused how we felt doing it, and also very embarrassed and wondering if hed circulate it around to people.
Cannot find it no matter what I search to this day so thats a relief. But yeah, me and my mom both absolutely were into the kissing but have never voiced that to each other. I thought I was gonna cringe or we were gonna laugh too much but the moment we started kissing it was insane how natural that shit felt.
Still don't consider myself gay or bi tho so make that shit make sense ahaha 🤣
I’m glad it sounds like your friend was/is supportive and kind! Kinda off topic but the rehab money is definitely a thing!!!
I know this isn’t the point but I do hope you both are in a better place financially at this point, I know how hard it is to have to consider things that you don’t really want to do — I’ve been there. But I suppose it’s good yall ended up liking it! And that the video isn’t online anywhere.
Thanks for opening up on here. I’m hoping these stories help people feel less alone.
So fucking refreshing to see that other women experimented with their moms during covid lockdown.
Me and my mom unironically were like dating each other during covid. She even let me write her romantic notes and I got them back.
She genuinely thought the world was ending and gonna get worse so she wanted to cross lines and do stuff she didn't even know she wanted to.
I felt like a freak for years we did everything we did and it gave me an aversion to conventional dating. We're in a weird place now.
Sometimes I visit her and we're normal mother and daughter. Sometimes I visit her and we kiss on the mouth and get each other off. But she refuses to let me move back in no matter how much I beg her to.
I have definitely heard a lot about lockdown sexual tension and experimentation, you aren’t alone!
Gosh that makes a lot of sense with her feeling like it was the end of the world, I know some people who felt that way. Very sweet about the romantic notes. Sorry to hear you’re in a weird place, it sounds a little uncomfortable and confusing. Hopefully soon you guys will both be in the right mindset to talk about it and clarify feelings!
26 F. When I was 20 during covid lockdown, me and my mom after months of being touch starved, decided to mildly experiment. She would come in my room, strip down, and jiggle her butt, rub herself, and play with her boobs at the foot of my bed while I masturbated in bed. Became routine for us and when we finally tried something physical (me eating her out) she began crying out of guilt despite moaning at first. She gave me pics and videos she shot for me she sent over text but told me she wanted to end things there because the guilt was too strong for her.
Sounds like sex and sexual tension with family (or whoever people were living with) wasn't uncommon in lockdown. I'm sorry she is/was struggling with shame. It's definitely very difficult to deal with. Whether or not you guys decide it's right for you to try again, I hope she's able to work through that so she doesn't have to let it eat away at her. Even on top of the incest stigma and the valid concern of power imbalance (which, as I say frequently, is a problem in a lot of relationships and certainly not just consang ones), there were a lot of heightened emotions and stress during lockdown. So I'm sure that made things really emotionally difficult.
