Bare Minimum
Name:Bare Minimum Real Name: Brenda Minerva Occupation: Freelance spreadsheet wrangler / reluctant superhero Power: Doing just enough to technically qualify as helpful
The Bare Backstory
Brenda Minerva never meant to be a superhero. In fact, she actively avoids most situations that involve exertion, confrontation, or anything requiring her to stand for more than fifteen minutes.
Her powers manifested one lazy Sunday afternoon while she was half-heartedly assembling an IKEA bookshelf. She didn't follow the instructions, didn't use all the screws, and somehow—it stood perfectly level. Solid. Immoveable. Her cat even jumped on it, and it didn’t wobble.
That was the first sign.
The second came when she instinctively filled out a tax form correctly without needing help. The third: she opened a stubborn jar of pickles with no grunting.
The government didn’t come calling. Neither did any shadowy organizations or intergalactic councils. Instead, her landlord asked if she could help get the neighbor’s cat down from a tree. She did. Sort of. The cat came down on its own eventually, and Brenda was there when it happened. That was enough.
Word spread.
Now, Brenda operates under the alias Bare Minimum, a name she didn’t choose so much as reluctantly accept when it was printed on a novelty mug someone gave her. She doesn't fly, doesn't punch through walls, and definitely doesn’t wear spandex (her outfit is a sensible knit top and stretchy pants with pockets). Her cape? Reversible and wrinkle-resistant.
She doesn’t save the day. But she does slightly improve it.
Sometimes that’s all you really need.
Bare Minimum returning a shopping cart. Sort of.