Since we've started trying to give sides of ourself shapes and faces to better understand ourself lately, I wanted to come up with a description for everything that still remains undefined. the "grey spaces" between us, the messy bits of thought and personality that remain difficult to label or neatly categorize. thoughts that feel like they're coming from outside our sence of selves (particularly, a lot of the intrusive ones we get that are completely out of any of our systems of belief).
I think embodying Nebulous would likely be when we're blurry, disassociating, or otherwise not lining up with any facets we have an understanding of.
(though I will say, forms of dissassociation can also fall under Lunar & Umbral's wheelhouses as well. their sense of selves are both shaped by depersonalization / derealization in some way or another, at least in part)
(also, if anyone would like to: please feel free to ask us questions about our pluralishness/ selfhood whenever you would like. we've been feeling particularly chatty about it lately and would be happy to try and articulate things more clearly if any of this seems confusing)
I've been feeling more Stellar in the past few weeks compared to when We drew the first design, so I wanted to play around with some new designs for her! also tried out some different styles, but I think we're probably going to be sticking closer to the first one for most art on this blog
I think being a merfolk fits her a lot better - one of the main memories I associate with her is of dancing in the rain, and she's probably responsible for this whole blog being themed around water.
important addition to the lineup of sonas! can't believe i forgot about her, she's the side ourself that's probably most responsible for making this blog. she's very joyful, and particularly connected to plural joy and joy in neurodivergence
Stellar is to the left of Solar on the joy -> despair spectrum between the facetsonas. the main difference between them is that where Solar represents a responsible and mature kind of confidence & hope for the future, Stellar is more carefree and childish.
Stellar also has some overlap with Lunar, in that they both carry a feeling of smallness & desire for comfort. the main difference there is that for Stellar it's more about liking feeling cozy, and for Lunar it's more about needing to feel safe
i wanted to give her an animal motif since everyone else has one - went with pony, since she's very connected to fond memories of our childhood and we grew up on mlp.
(Stellar's not actually really a child though, she's just very cutesy)
feelings: joy, whimsy, cheer, nostalgia, cuteness, sillyness, childishness, excitement, energy
Colors: pink, magenta, purple, blue, yellow
Smell: very clean, perhaps a bit pastry-like? or like bubblegum, or like playing in the rain
Pronouns(?): i'm thinking either she/her or she/they, but I guess it feels flexible?
drew some character sona things to try and represent different "Sides of Myself"; as an exploration of plurality, and because I find it easier to split up my traits among different characters than try and fit them into one sona that represents them all at once
I'm rarely ever just one of these facets of myself at a time, but as the balace of them shifts i can feel like I'm a slightly different person from one day to the next
I've had these in my head for a while but felt weird about actually developing or introducing them for a while... i don't really know why
(more thorough introductions of each are going below the cut)
Lunar is maybe how I feel the most often, closest to how i tend to conceptualize myself as a single person. In a way they're in a kind of a fuzzy between space between the other 2, who are more extreme ends of a spectrum. they have bits of the other two in quieter form
Colors: purple, blue, pink, rose. softer, more pastel, less saturated
Smell: something clean, with a faint floral scent (fabric, or water?)
Pronouns(?): they/it? (she?)
Umbral is how I feel at my worst. They tend to feel the most seperate from the other two, and my general sense of identity (?)
They look the least like my body, thinner and taller with much longer darker hair. They have rabbit ears, but a wolf's tail and fangs. both predator and prey, comstantly tearing into themself.
Smell: a hoodie that should really be washed soon (+blood)
Pronouns(?): she?/it? (they?)
(i feel a little silly for how steriotypicaly edgy they are, but that is just an acurate representation of how i am sometimes)
Solar's a side of myself I don't get to see all that often, though I get glimpses of them on good days. I see them as the best of me, or an idea of what I could be. someone to dream of becoming
In previous iterations of this concept Solar was more feline like Lunar, but I realized as I was drawing them this time that being more of a bovine sort of creature felt more right for them. other than that they're pretty close to my irl appearance, but a bit taller and more muscular. They're big, strong, and grounded.
Feelings: confidence, responsibility, reliability, joy, passion, self-love, care, hope
Lunar reflects Solar's light, but also contains Umbral's darkness. it shifts in phases. (Lunar could maybe be considered the Core in a median system sense? or a Shell/Blanketself?)
Umbral is a walking corpse, Lunar is their ghost, Solar is what could grow from their remains (vision of a brighter future)
I feel like they all kind of love each other, in their own ways? though it's a bit more complicated when it comes to Umbral. Solar loves her, Lunar is conflicted (mix of care and fear?), Umbral hates itself and alternates between hating and caring for / wanting to protect the other two
I was doing a visualization exercise of a table yesterday and found myself sitting on it and got this impression of what I(?) looked like, so i drew it! At the time I felt quite bubbley, pretty happy in a sort of squirmy way? anyways wanted to record it here :D
