#underwhelming alchemy

[underwhelmingalchemist]

The Muppet Joker and Strange Æons having an official meetup/showdown in the ball pit of Dash Con 2 is like Infinity War for people who are chronically online in an incredibly specific way

[underwhelmingalchemist]

I think from now on, ballpit duels between popular tumblr users should be the norm, even if they don't have beef. I want to see rabidloving and wereralph battling with inflatable pool noodles. I want to see sixpenceee and gaud trying to knock each other off inflatable platforms with the vigor of someone fighting for their life. I want this to be like YouTuber boxing, but somehow MORE chronically online

[underwhelmingalchemist]

My Muppet Joker death prediction is that he's going to start posting again in three days and proclaim himself Jesuskin

[underwhelmingalchemist]

"When the AFAB that has DD's and a full face of makeup and dresses femme and still insists on being called he/him-" Show me him. Show me him now. Give me his number. Ask him if he's free on Friday night. Is he more of a "walks on the beach" guy or "dinner and a movie" kind of man. Does he want to kiss because I can work with that

[underwhelmingalchemist]

It's so funny when you encounter a character that doesn't feel like an oncoming hyperfixation as much as they do a high-endurance dog toy. I don't need to have intense Emotions and Thoughts about them, I just need to chew on them and shake them around for a while

[underwhelmingalchemist]

So the Muppet Joker's been dead (and in Muppet superhell) for about a month now. So the question remains: who do we think is going to grip him tight and raise him from perdition? My money's on Landlord Marsha

[underwhelmingalchemist]

Going back in time to 2015 to post a Destiel confession meme about gay marriage being legalized and seeing how much it wrecks both Tumblr and the space-time continuum

[underwhelmingalchemist]

I think a lot of internet discourse could be resolved with the mindset of "brains are weird"

This person identifies as something non-human, and has phantom body parts from it? I don't doubt it, brains are weird

This person is a lesbian, but genuinely loves and is attracted to their husband, a cis man? Sure, why not, brains are weird

This person says they have a certain disorder, but their symptoms don't line up perfectly with the DSM-V? That makes sense, brains are weird

This person is a man and a woman at the same time? Dope, brains are weird

This person is attracted to inanimate objects and forms emotional and romantic connections to them? Whatever speets your spout, man, brains are weird

Brains are bizarre meat computers constantly firing off sparks of electricity with effects that are mostly beyond our comprehension. Someone being a therian or objectum or multigender or whatever honestly makes more sense than a brain operating exactly how we expect it to 100% of the time