Blue Monday || Crowley & Castiel
He missed his brother, and he missed him, and he missed him even when he was standing right in front of him, watching him turn that burning cold look of disgust on him from across the dirty and dim concrete cell where they met in secret. He missed him when he double crossed him. He missed him when his eyes told him that Castiel saw nothing in front of him except for a demon.
And though the bright citadel of Heaven might still reflect in his Grace he could feel the edges of it crumbling into darkness within him.
So perhaps it was because he thought that seeing another angel might help him prevent the further rotting of his ethereal being, or perhaps it was because he knew that unfinished business ruined an angel just as much as it did a human, but once he heard that Castiel was back he found his hands itching for a summoning spell.
He held off for as long as he could.
But he could feel the burning desire to see him stand before him once again. Maybe... maybe they could sort things through, and everything could be maybe not perfectly how it was before but something more resembling peace.
But then, Castiel had such pride. From what he remembered, anyway. Perhaps a new encounter would only make things worse? And perhaps seeing that familiar face would just pull the strings of his being that he did not wish pulled, the parts of him that were soft and dullish bright, and which would abhor every step of the revenge he was planning for him.
He was so, completely angry at him. And Castiel has still not yet seen fit to come to him and apologize-- not that he'd expect him to apologize to a demon, really. He knew it was unfair of him to expect better treatment, but then he thought-
why is it all right for Castiel to treat a demon poorly, based only on the fact that he was a demon?
He could only conclude that it was not, in fact, all right for him to do so.
And thus, he unconsciously gave himself permission to take his revenge out on Castiel. Without really meaning to he gathered together the correct ingredients for summoning an angel. Then he gathered the ones to specifically call Castiel without truly thinking about it. When he had them all together he didn't even know what to do with them.
And this was not even the beginning of the revenge itself. This was the last ditch effort to have it confirmed that Castiel thought of him as nothing more than particularly useful trash.
His hand dropped the match into the summoning bowl, and then he waited for him to appear before him.
