#undraftedthings

[balmacedapascal-archive]

undrafted things 1/?

everything about Vinnie’s first moments on screen. baby boy has so much fucking energy i can’t even

“I hate you” “I love you ... he’s grumpy”

jay hayden’s freckles. that’s it. that’s all i need. baby boy has so many cute ass freckles on his beautiful face

“cup check”

“can we take the stairs next time? they are literally right over there” as garvey literally falls on his ass going down that little fucking hill

polacco

polacco being the most adorable little british frat boy, you know he’s a frat boy you can’t change my mind

tree putting his batting glove on the end of polacco’s bat when he’s waving it in zap’s face like a big ole dick. no glove no love.

the height difference between ty and garvey.

somebody making tyler hoechlin look average height for once holy shit

“vinnie you’re my brother in law so you have to come too” either ty’s marrying vinnie’s sister, vinnie’s marrying ty’s sister or vinnie and dells are a couple who just haze the shit out of each other and i don’t know which option i like best

“nap time”

literally every single thing vinnie fucking malzahn does on screen

barone and his fucking eyebrows

sweet baby david running in all “sorry i’m late” and ty’s dumbass being all “oh i forgot you were on the team” gdi ty

every time that ty yells something. it gives me life. he’s so fucking loud and i love it. 

“first of all my mother paid for my uniform!” fucking zapata is adorable

“versus the d-bags” “d-backs!”

when the ump asks why they didn’t just name the team the diamondbacks and ty is just “cause it was too many letters!” how many time have you had to explain that bby??

maz’s black undershirt. thank you and god bless.

“it’s gonna be like the 27 yankees against the fucking lollipop guild” and tree getting majorly insulted by the short implications

“you thought you’d get my mind off baseball by talking to me about baseball at a baseball game?”...... “it isn’t working?”

okay that’s enough for now. this post is brought to you by @browneyedfloozy who peer pressured me into sharing my stupid long list of things i love about this movie aka every single moment of it. 

[balmacedapascal-archive]

undrafted things 2/?

okay here’s some more because i have so many feels and i’m basically just listing the entire movie in chronological order.

my sweet baby boy vinnie rolling into the dugout with like fifteen half melted ice cream cones with rainbow sprinkles like the most adorable little bean out there, this is why i love this idiot

tree just not being able to comprehend maz not having his rainbow sprinkles

polacco walking away with just four ice cream cones in his hands my other favorite idiot ladies and gents

“who doesn’t want to play today?” -every hand goes up- ty’s laugh in this gives me life i love that idiot.

“you’re the coach?” “YEAH POLACCO! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN I’M HOLDING THE CLIPBOARD ARE YOU HOLDING THE CLIPBOARD OH I DIDN’T THINK SO! ALL RIGHT ANYBODY ELSE HOLDING A CLIPBOARD PLEASE RAISE YOUR CLIPBOARD” -garvey raises a clipboard- i lose my goddamn mind i loved this

ty is the loudest chaotic rage energy, except maybe murray, and i love it

ALL OF VINNIE’S FRECKLES

when vinnie starts singing the all-american league theme i just get so happy. and they all join in. it just makes me so happy. (sidenote a league of their own is one of like 3 baseball movies i liked before i saw undrafted)

maz stopping to take a bite of ice cream before going out onto the field and ty being the only one who sees it, don’t touch me i’m soft.

the idea that these idiots are using dip like it’s so gross and yet is exactly like some of the baseball bros i knew in college.

i actually really enjoy the little moments with the dads on the sidelines it’s super cute to me and like some quality work

“somebody needs to tell those guys to shut the fuck up” a-fucking-men

when maz throws the helmet after getting out, it’s like sad but also like kind of hot like unf.

when ty and garvey are giving barone the different signals when he’s at bat is just fantastic (and again another league of their own reference!)

“I’ll never forget the day the horse and carriage rolled up to my cottage with the telegram” my team dad fotch just embracing the old jokes and rolling with it he is such a sweet soft guy in this i have lots of feels.

“do you have a gnarly scar?” “yep” “can i see it???” “sure” everyone runs over like a bunch of little five years olds eager to see

fotch telling the bulldogs to leave dells alone in like an actual kind of polite way, like no cussing, just saying knock it off, and then they start making jokes about his old injury like okay fuck the bulldogs. they’re assholes always but like that was so uncalled for, fotch is an innocent angel.

BENCH BETS

everything about the bench bets scene. it’s just comedy gold. they all do so amazing in this. 

“THAT’S IT! BENCH BETS ARE OFF! and i hope you two are happy. it’s like my grandmother said expect to have fun, forget it. now you’re gonna have to sit here and watch baseball. that is your punishment.”

for being super hungover, polacco is extra as fuck

the face pat makes while the bulldogs are doing their chants. priceless.

“hey schwartz! what are you on a team with a bunch of fucking girls with your softball chants?!” “you guys sing” “....it’s not the same!” 

“i really don’t like these fucking guys!”

okay imma stop there cuz this is getting long. i will be doing the entire movie because it’s fucking comedy gold and i love it all. shoutout again to @browneyedfloozy for telling me to post this shit. this is all your fault. ;D

[balmacedapascal-archive]

undrafted things 3/?

hey guys. guess what time it is? that’s right, it’s time for julie to ramble on and on and on about undrafted. again. even though nobody asked for it. woo. here we go. 

okay we’re gonna start off with some fotch love bc baby boy is just like sweetest guy in town, like he’s literally on the bench, giving maz this pep talk but in like a super down to earth way, like “being drafted doesn’t mean everythings gonna work out” “not getting drafted doesn’t mean you won’t do great things” like it’s precious. 

and then he’s like “i wrecked my arm and had to give up my pro ball careers but then i met the most beautiful woman ever and i married her” and it’s just like !!! how are you so precious!?

tree going up to bat the first time and doing the fucking sign of the cross with a handful of dirt, i laughed my ass off holy shit

the boys just striking out so fast it hurts.

“son of a biscuit” i swear to god that line right there means fotch has small children, try to change my mind

vinnie out in the field being a total cutie, one of the few times it isn’t patrick catching the ball out there, just so fucking proud of himself, i love this boy so gd much

our first time with pat up to bat. that immediate rage when he strikes out and just flings the bat as hard as he can at the dugout. little rage monster.

and then you’ve got vinnie, who’s dumb ass is just giggling - yeah, he’s fucking giggling - with each and every strike. 

garvey on the sidelines giving tips until david reminds him that baby boy ain’t playing. like garvey wants to be a team captain/coach/whatever so bad.

“BRIAN IS THE EMOTIONAL CORE OF THE BAND END OF STORY!”

the entire BSB debate gives me life and was the greatest scene ever omg. like this is the content i’m here for. a bunch of baseball idiots, sitting in the dugout and screaming at each other about 90s boy bands. thank you so much for that scene.

“BENCH BETS ARE OVER AGAIN FOR THE SECOND AND FINAL TIME!” ryan polacco is the biggest fucking drama queen and honestly it gives me life.

also i love the justin timberlake vs. nick carter commentary considering at this point, joe had done movies with both of them. 

that goddamn laugh from vinnie when garvey gets snapped at by maz, like this boy is such a fucking dummy, i love him but god he’s an idiot.

when ty gets the hit that gets maz home and polacco does that adorable little “yay for ty” cheer. so precious.

patrick meltdown #2.

between his complete freak out (i NEED to know if the bat breaking was intentional or accidental. I NEED TO KNOW.) to the face dells makes during the freak out to the way vinnie tries to get him to chill out in the outfield.

“you all right there murray? a little murray worry? you all right there little buddy? want to have a little catch? nice fun times?”

vinnie’s a fucking idiot but he’s my fucking idiot and i will protect him till the day i die. 

“how much you wanna bet murray kills someone before the end of the game?”

murray vs. zapata *dingding*

this whole scene was like emotional whiplash. like one minute it’s fucking comedy gold with some of the shit he’s saying.

“YOU THROW LIKE A BITCH AND YOU BAT A .250!” “patrick relax!” “SHUT THE FUCK UP DAD” “that’s my boy” (major shout out to brian for being an adorable dad on the sidelines)

and then it just goes and breaks my goddamn heart with pat’s entire speech about how maz deserved to make and how upsetting it was and how polacco wasted his talent and how pat knows he sucks at baseball and they’re all sad and it’s like the one time vinnie isn’t all happy and goofy and it’s just such an intense scene all of a sudden and it hurts.

“it’s bullshit this whole fucking world is bullshit nobody gets what they deserve good or bad.” such a good fucking line.

annnnnnnd on that note, i’m gonna end it here. shoutout to @browneyedfloozy for continuing to be an actual saint and put up with me and encourage me, these posts are all your fault and i mean that in the best possible way.

and if you guys ever want to talk undrafted, just hit me up.