Anyway, for all my long-time followers, thank you for all your patience--I hope the wait was worth it~! And for the many newcomers, welcome and enjoy the ride, we’re only just getting started. ;D
I got this idea a few days ago. Then I told an Alphy/ne shipper about it and she loved it, saying she wanted to write it. But this story belongs entirely to Undyrus so I'm going to beat her to it! Just kidding though, thanks for listening, kittysblog24. And also special thanks to @undying-undyrus for some of the ideas in this fic too.
I used a bit of language in this one because I thought it would add to the comedy of this piece. Hope that's okay.
Probably the worst thing about dating Alphys, other than the events that led to a rather messy breakup, was the romantic comedies. Anime was fantastic when they were watching it together (and they still met up frequently to do so) but Alphys had gotten the idea fairly early on that chick flicks and romantic comedies were a great way to bond. Undyne rather thought that Die Hard would be a better bonding movie but her devotion to Alphys had caused her to sit in front of an awful lot of these movies. These corny, goofy, cutesy romantic movies.
Ugh.
But months had passed. Alphys and Undyne were still girlfriends in the platonic sense but their days of romance were long over. It was definitely for the best. Honestly, they'd never been closer. Breaking up had been the best thing to happen to them.
And not only because Undyne had found love again. But that certainly helped.
Undyne strained her muscles as she lifted her piano onto the back of the pickup truck she'd borrowed from Asgore. This was going to be epic.
"Just do something big and romantic." Alphys had said earlier that day over coffee. "He'll love it!"
"How am I supposed to come up with something like that?" Undyne had asked, making a face as she sipped her coffee.
"Just think back to one of the rom coms we've watched and try something from that." Alphys shrugged.
Undyne doubted she'd meant this. But she was Undyne. If she was going to do something romantic, she was going to do it her way.
Finally, the piano was loaded securely. Undyne wiped sweat off her brow and climbed into the driver's seat.
It was a very short drive to Papyrus's house, in part because of the hour. Undyne pulled into his driveway and began the laborious task of unloading the piano from it. Ordinarily, she might have asked for help. But she was going to do this big romantic… thing on her own or die trying.
As soon as the piano was in place, she grabbed a handful of pebbles and threw them at his window one by one. He had to notice. How could he not?
Unless…
Had that idiot actually gone to sleep tonight? Of all the luck… Undyne gritted her teeth. This called for drastic measures. Once Papyrus was out, he was out. Pebbles against the window would have absolutely no effect.
Undyne looked around until she noticed a large rock in the grass of the front lawn. She smiled toothily and picked it up.
CRASH!
Papyrus jolted out of bed, his nightcap flying off his head and his eyes bulging. Someone had just thrown a rock at his window!
"SANS!" he cried, grabbing his slippers and bolting out of bed. "SANS, I THINK WE'RE BEING ROBBED!"
"one step ahead of you." Sans called down the hallway, hurrying down with his trombone in his hands.
Papyrus gave him a withering look. "LET ME GUESS: YOU WANT TO KICK HIS BRASS. CLASSY, SANS."
"uhh nope, i was just planning on clubbing him with it but nice one, bro."
Papyrus growled through his teeth, nearly falling down the stairs in his haste. No one seemed to be in the house. Everything was exactly as they'd left it. Even Sans's clutter hadn't been touched.
"what the…" Sans began when a loud noise made them both jump.
It sounded like someone banging on the piano as loud as possible. The skeletal brothers looked at each other for a moment before hurrying to the front door, Papyrus hopping on one foot to put on his other slipper.
A truly bizarre sight greeted them when they emerged from the house. Undyne was sitting there, playing Maple Leaf Rag at twice its normal volume and pace. Once she'd caught sight of Papyrus, she yelled "LOOK, PAPYRUS, I'M BEING ROMANTIC AND SHIT!"
Papyrus goggled at her, his mouth agape. For a moment, he was convinced that he was dreaming. How in the world would Undyne have gotten her entire piano across town? And why in the world would she do it? That was the more pertinent question. The first question was quickly answered when he caught sight of the pickup truck. The second was probably going to have a more complicated answer.
"UNDYNE, WHY ARE YOU PLAYING RAGTIME MUSIC IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE AT 2 AM?" Papyrus shouted over the music.
"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, YOU IDIOT!" Undyne bellowed back, a huge toothy grin on her face. "I'M PLAYING MUSIC OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOW LIKE IN THE MOVIES!"
Sans, whose left eye had lit up as they'd been searching the house, suddenly burst out laughing. Papyrus spared a moment to give him a withering look before turning back to Undyne.
"THEY USUALLY USE GUITARS AND STEREOS IN THE MOVIES!"
"BUT YOU'RE WORTH A WHOLE DAMN PIANO!" Undyne hollered, playing the song again with even more gusto.
By this time, neighbors were starting to emerge from their own houses, staring wide eyed at an extremely excitable fish monster banging on her piano and shouting her love for a skeleton monster clad in ducky pajamas, all while a second skeleton seemed to be overcome with the giggles. It was a very odd sight indeed.
"UNDYNE I…" Papyrus's eyes brimmed with tears. "THAT'S THE SWEETEST THING ANYONE'S EVER DONE FOR ME!"
"Get used to it, you dork!" Undyne got up from her piano and tackled him in a hug.
They landed on the grass, her on her hands and knees leaning over his prone form. The lights from the streetlamps made her look very weird and more than a bit creepy but Papyrus was far too happy to care. Undyne kissed him just above the nose.
"Was that a big enough romantic gesture?" she asked in a low voice so the wheezing Sans wouldn't hear.
"I LOVE YOU, UNDYNE." Papyrus sighed. "BUT I THINK THE NEIGHBORS MIGHT WANT TO GO BACK TO SLEEP."
"Sleep is for the weak." Undyne chirped merrily, hopping off him and holding out a hand to help him up.
"THEN THEY MIGHT CALL THE POLICE WITH A NOISE COMPLAINT."
"Let them. I'm on the force."
"UNDYNE!"
"Kidding!" Undyne chortled. "I guess I'll pack it back up. Oh man, that was so worth it to see your face."
"DO YOU HAVE TO GO NOW?" Papyrus asked. He could feel heat rising to his cheekbones.
"No. But aren't I supposed to?"
"I DON'T KNOW. WHAT DO THEY USUALLY DO IN THE MOVIES?"
Undyne shrugged. "I didn't think that far ahead."
Papyrus considered this for a moment. "DO YOU WANT TO COME IN FOR SOME HOT CHOCOLATE? OR COFFEE?"
"Sure!" Undyne took his hand in hers and squeezed it. "And then maybe you can go back to bed."
"I THINK I'M A LITTLE TOO AWAKE RIGHT NOW?"
"Aww, I thought you liked cuddling."
There was no question about it this time. Papyrus was definitely blushing.
"OKAY. SURE." he said, allowing her to lead him back to the house, leaving Sans in the front yard without a second thought.
"That was the best advice you've ever given me!" Undyne told Alphys over coffee the next morning, looking a bit groggy but definitely more cheerful.
Alphys's face was in her hands. "That's n-not what I meant though."
Undyne raised an eyebrow. "It's me. What did you expect?"
Alphys half smiled despite herself. "Pretty much that."
"Well Papyrus liked it." Undyne leaned back, looking triumphant as she took another sip of coffee. "And I even got him to sleep a bit more."
"You… you stayed the night?" Alphys's head shot up and she leaned forward. "Details…"
Undyne narrowed her eye at her. "Oh calm down, it wasn't like that."
"Mhmmmm." Alphys waggled her eyebrows at her. "Then what, pray tell, was it like?"
"Get back in the trash."
"Already there."
"Well…" Undyne's cheeks turned puce. "I mean he is the perfect little spoon, really."
Alphys nearly knocked her coffee over as she leaned forward even more. "Yeah?"
"I mean that's about it." Undyne took another sip. "If you were expecting hentai…"
It was Alphys's turn to go scarlet. "That's… that's n-not… shut up."
"Then stop trying to live vicariously through me and Papyrus."
Alphys grumbled and returned to her seat, not failing to notice several eyes on her. Next time they had a discussion this juicy, she'd have to make sure they were home.
"But all that t-to say it's going well… right?"
Undyne felt her heart flop at the memory of the last night. "Yeah." she said. "It's going well."
Alphys grinned. "So d-do you think he's going to do a big romantic gesture in return?"
"It's Papyrus."
"Good point."
"Soooooo," Undyne's smile turned mischievous in an instant, "I'm going to have to outdo this. Any suggestions?"
"Oh no." Alphys put up her hands in defense. "I w-want no part of this."
"Come on, Al, you've got the best ideas!" Undyne pressed.
"You're g-going to twist all of m-my suggestions."
"I know, that's what makes it fun."
"Undyne!"
Undyne laughed, feeling happier than she had in a long time. As she continued to tease Alphys about her dating advice, she felt very thankful for her adorable boyfriend and her far too eager best friend.
She made a decision. Papyrus was definitely worth the whole piano, that's for sure.
Drabble: Alphys accidentally gets some chemicals in her eye, and must resist the urge to lick her eyeball like a lizard.
I’m not even cutting this I like this a lot so here’s like 150 words of Science Shmoop
Undyne woke up to a panicked text that did not seem like Alphys. “Ofuck come quikc bring water need eyebath ｡%‿^｡”
“Comign rn!” she texted as she hit the floor running, with one water bottle for her and one for Alphys.
She found Alphys with six pocky in her mouth and a box on the floor. “Alphy? What’s--?”
Around a mouthful of pocky she replied. “Keeping tongue busy. Can’t lick my eye. It’s got acid in it.”
“Well, if you needed to keep your tongue busy, you should’ve said!” Alphys’ mouth tasted like pocky and blood from her bitten tongue, and she blushed, squirming away.
“UNDYNE! NOT HELPING! EYEBATH!”
“Oh, alright.” She picked up the small lizard by her scruff and set her head over the floor drain, and opened the water bottle--Alphys’ sink had been ruined in the Drunk Science Incident of April 211X, and clearly, lab repairs had been neglected. And Alphys’ sleep. “Now. Bedtime.” Her tone brooked no argument, and Alphys snuggled in next to her.
