#unflappablephil

[what-the-stark]

"I like the new look. Very much in line with SHIELD regulations regarding facial hair. I hope this is a permanent change."

"Jesus, not you, too. Really? I mean, I'm aware you're a level seven troll, but c'mon. Can't you cut a guy a break?"

[tonyandhisbots-archive]

“I already regret this.”

"Are you incapable of relaxing? Loosen up those shoulders. Don't be so stiff. Come on, they'll barely recognise you. I'm the distraction, remember?"

[what-the-stark]

[twerk meme] The elevator doors parted and Phil blinked at the sudden wave of loud music that filled the air. A few feet in front of him, Tony Stark was bent over, hands on his hips and ass popping. Phil sighed and pressed the button to close the doors, leaving without saying a word.

"Agent Coulson?" JARVIS spoke as soon as the doors slid shut, his elegantly accented voice somehow managing to sound somewhat apologetic despite a lack of noticeable inflection. "Sir requested that I pass along the following message in the event of your departure: ‘that’s what you get, and there’s more where that came from’."

There was a weighted pause before he spoke again as the elevator came to a halt on the ground floor. “The impression that I should apologize for him is more than familiar, but I’m certain you can appreciate my position. Have a good day, Agent. In the future, were you to warn me of your arrival, I will in return prevent any further such… incidents.”

[dontcallmerupert-archive-blog]

Say Cheese

"Come on, Coulson, you know I gotta ask about the cards. Tony told me you were a big fan of the Captain, though half the time I don't know if he's embellishing the story a bit or not."

[ahawkinthevents]

➶

You and Tasha are the only reasons I haven't left SHIELD yet.

[ahawkinthevents]

15

"I'm not that much of a whore, Phil. Besides, that 'almost' with the ringmaster's daughter doesn't count."

[eidetictelekinetic]

"If you could refrain from calling me dude, I’d appreciate that as well." Phil straightened his jacket. "Your boss sounds like a good guy."

"OK, you're just proving my point even more, wow," Mike said, shaking his head. "When he's not being a hardass, yeah, he's a good guy. Uh, sorry 'bout that again, Agent Coulson. Though surprised to see you in a bar, man."

[ahawkinthevents]

[naked pic meme] Agent Barton, next time you feel the urge to text me a 'selfie', would you be so kind as to put your pants on first.

That....wasn't supposed to...uh...

Fuck.

This is bad, isn't it? 'Cause it looks bad.