#unhelp

[rowanthestrange]

I do rather like the woman at the Craft Guild who ‘helped’ me with the blanket.

So it’s going to be a shame to murder her with my own two hands.

[shane-x]

Okay but why does darkiplier make me really hard

[momentumofjo]

Unhelping Around the Home

Unhelping Around the Home

Exhibit A For years I have thought of karma as God’s sense of humor.  It now seems to me that my kids are also in on the joke.  Check out these pants.  Do I respect the efficiency of fusing your pants and underoos into one removable set like a human banana peel?  Oh yes.  Do I also respect the fact that collections of said sets are left hidden amongst the balled up dirty socks?  Oh no. I agree…

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[writingunhelps]

Work

Writing is a job, but therefore ought to take up all your time and be your top priority. Forget that the majority of inspiration comes from experience. Write alll the time. Write until your fingers ache. Write until you hate writing. I'm sure your weiting will be just as peppy as ever...

[writingunhelps]

Character Deaths

Don’t know what to do about a story?

Kill a character. 

Need a twist?

Kill a character.  Kill five. Kill the protagonist.  Kill them all.

It will give you just the edge you need and will make the story more dramatic. You get to manipulate your reader’s emotions and stay true to your uniqueness.  The reader’s expectations and the value of the deaths is irrelevant.

I’m sure they’ll thank you later....  

[writingunhelps]

Write What's Popular

It is always good to research the market when you want to write a novel. If you write about what is currently 'in' you have a better chance of riding the coattails of popular novels into fame. Are vampires hot? Good, then write about vampires. You may have a very different artistic vision, but if you really want to be published, go the popular route. It's a vicious world out there in the publishing world. Unless you are a really creative and intelligent writer (who is also mildly insane) your only chance is to copy-cat your way into the market for a brief moment of fame.  And at least this way you know someone out there is going to like what you write.

[writingunhelps]

Heed all My Advice

because I clearly know everything about writing

[writingunhelps]

Don't Write During Class

If your teachers find out, you will lose you prestiege.  Your grades might also drop because you probalby can't multi-task and you might lose participation points.  Anything amazing you have to write can wait until you acctually have free time.

Today I went a whole day without writing during class.  My teachers should be glad.