#the guild master

[rowanthestrange]

I do rather like the woman at the Craft Guild who ‘helped’ me with the blanket.

So it’s going to be a shame to murder her with my own two hands.

[rowanthestrange]

One giant knitted quilt assembled. Half of it in five days cus I’m a pro and will never trust a person to do half a project ever again.

Feel free to zoom in to see what I mean by ‘squares knitted by the spiritually lost’. I think those Women’s Institute/Mother’s Union lot (whoever I did this for) might just be aliens pretending to be human.

But I did it. I made them fit. In some semblance of a pattern. Even the diagonal ones. And the ones wildly the wrong scale. And rectangles. God help me I did it.

And it’s all nice and flat on the underside so if they ignore my suggestion and do give it to a homeless person (instead of auctioning it between them to raise money for water resistant thermal blankets) at least it should be comfy. And hardwearing, or at least as much as I could make it.

[rowanthestrange]

So I run a Craft Guild and in between making useless posts and writing, I’m sewing together a knitted blanket that’s gonna be ‘auctioned’ and raise money for the homeless.

I only know this second hand because it’s not my project, no, a person I only very casually know said ‘You’re running a craft group right? Can you do something with this?’ And dumped two carrier bags of knitted what-could-only-very-loosely-be-called squares on me.

Very loosely. Because these people could not follow directions - if there in fact were any - because everything is a different dimension and I’m having to use every bit of trickery I can think of to make these fit. When I brought this up with the Square Dumper, she just laughed and said “I know, that’s why I gave it to you.”

Charitably we’ll say my reputation precedes me. More likely, no-one else was dumb enough to say “Sure, however I can help.”

In the cases of squares like the one that was literally 50% larger than it should have been, I’ve just been re-knitting them entirely. I have had to replace six so far.

There is no colour theory or harmony, putting this together has been a nightmare, and if you ever, ever do this to anyone, I’m talking to YOU fifty years in the future, at least make sure the squares you make have been finished entirely - and securely, because I don’t know what they thought 5cm of dangling wool was gonna do for me at each end, but the answer is nothing. And if you are in charge of your own local women’s group (as this is from) or similar, can you please give them...some instructions. Any. Types of wool, dimension of squares, needle size, colours, literally anything.

I will do this, and no-one will respect me for the magician I am, cus this could be so much worse.

[thesketchykids]

Legendary Run: Mogu'shan Palace Timewalking with Ornimus, the Guild Master

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[tokyun]

bu said wigglytuff and I keep thinking of the one from the mystery dungeon games and I'm laughing bye