yes these are obnoxious but.. shush you
I'm not exactly sure why I'm studying at university/college.
I'm consistently falling into the academic trap of not doing enough work/study to either A) justify the fluked mark I receive, or B) actually get a mark I'm proud to have achieved. Without trying to sound like a self-important, smug little first world priveleged cismale BLAH BLAH BLAH (yes thank you tumblr thought police, trying to cover all the bases here), I am fairly intelligent in regards to what I have the potential to know at this point in my life. I don't devalue the learning experience in any way; I'd just rather attend the lectures/tutes, without the perpetual loom of assignments overhead.
And yes yes yes, you've heard it all before/felt the same thing/blah blah fucking BLAH... but I honestly don't see the point in commuting in 3 days a week to either A) feel like I'm the only one paying attention in a classroom full of unenlightened sods, or B) feel entirely overwhelmed by the pure genius of some of the exceedingly less dull classmates.
Add to that feeling the fact that almost all of my close schoolfriends are smashing through their respective courses/are nearly finished/discuss it at every gathering while I sit there and stir my drink nervously, hoping they don't ask me anything about my course because I'll likely blurt out something inane like "I took part in a study that let me besassy" and then have to explain that it was examining the perception of male reception to high-school related inter-friendship-circle bullying and oh christ listen to me.
Basically, I'm fed up with my continual lack of effort. If I could read all the interesting Google Scholar papers I uncover during research instead of writing a paper, like holy hell I would. But, alas, it's back to the grind *waves*
