iconic quotes from my anatomy & physiology lab professor so far:
(2/10/26) lecture lecture lecture I BROUGHT LOLIPOPS, if you answer a question right, you get a lollipop
(2/10/26) I used to give out cash, but cash today is scarce and I don’t get paid until tmrw, lollipops are the next best thing
(2/10/26) follow me on TikTok, my handle is @christiannahas1, if I get enough followers I’ll eventually get paid
(2/17/26) have you ever heard of carpal tunnel syndrome? it happens when people overuse the tendons in their hands, so people that are drummers, butchers, stenographers, people that masturbate too much, WHO SAID THAT! i'm just joking. don't tell anyone im telling you these jokes. i want to keep my job.
(2/17/26) if you want to get a mate, impress them with your vast knowledge of of anatomy and physiology 1. just joking, there are better ways to get a mate. like tinder. or going on blind dates with a computer. just kidding. don't go on tinder. you don't want them to think you're a slut. you're an ✨educated slut ✨WHO SAID THAT
(2/17/26) any other questions about our exam? no? i shoud get a life? okay
(2/17/26) if you watch my tiktok and commit it to memory, you'll do very well. sleep with it, shower with it, take it on a picnic
(5/8/26) *ends phone call* i just got a call from the nursing home that a nurse was caught jerking off a patient. i get weird calls. life of a doctor. you gotta do what you gotta do. that tops the list of weird ones.
(5/8/26) is it hot in here or is it just me? no? just me? *taking off his outer shirt* i'm gona slip into something more comfortable. my victoria's secret -no i don't have victoria's secret. TMI, pia -what's pia mean? intimate. that's why i said victoria's secret
(5/8/26) *after coming to class late* did you guys miss me? were you wondering if i was abducted by aliens?
(5/8/26) grooves divide spinal cord into left and right. *in an accent* groovy mon
(5/8/26) *looks at student eating chips* can i have one? no i'm just kidding. i had lunch in the car. i had a crab cake.
(5/8/26) *to a student who came in late* the exam is next week. no, i'm kidding, it's in 2 weeks. i was just pulling a prank on you to see if you were alive and awake. are you awake? yes, good. i like awake patients. you know there's a defibrillator outside. if you weren't, i would zap you.
(5/8/26) in the axon there are nerves. you got a lot of nerve taking off before i got here.
(5/8/26) i'll bet you $1000 this will be on the exam. i'll bet my car. i have a nice car. anybody feel lucky? okay, nobody feels lucky.
(5/8/26) if you wanna test your lungs and your voice and you wanna create an earth shattering scream, choose natural childbirth.
(5/8/26) this is the gay nazi salute. i hope i don't offend any gay nazis in the audience. if you're a gay nazi, you should reconsider.
(5/8/26) *looking at a cross section of the spinal cord in the vertebral canal* i will bet my car and my wife's car, i'll bet both of our cars that this will be on the lab practical.
(5/8/26) i know to how crack someone's neck without damaging it. i try not to snap their head off. i hate when that happens. that's when lawsuits happen. malpractice rates will go up.
(5/8/26) *student says they have a question* i have an answer.
(5/8/26) i'll take the back three tables and go through the models and make a video, after i use the little boy's room. my coffee is kicking in. *after 10 minutes* i'm back. i needed a life preserver.
