#unless you know

[sizzypheanloop]

"And I shall call him Adam, for he is the first!" body parts snatching identity stealing monster but whatever parents don't get to choose who their children become lol

[platypaws]

Surprise they never done an episode of Doof yelling and cutting ties at his parents. I know Phineas and Ferb is suppose to be kid-friendly without much serious matters, but im sure fans and even non-fans would appreciate Doof permanently cutting ties from his parents after everything he goes through and the series has Phineas being mad and raising his voice which hits hard (well except the Marvels special, there is no need for that Candance conflict). Like Doof tried everything for their attention but they never tried from his dad never truly appreciate that Doof found the gnome or how his mother could at least be proud of Doof after kicking the ball. At least Roger is friendly to him.

I’m not surprised at all, because standing up to and cutting abusers out of your life is extremely hard and it’s even harder when it’s people this close to you 😔 it’s incredibly sad, because all he ever wanted is literally a TINY bit of their love and they can’t even give him that much 💀 but yeah, i think he CAN do it sometime in the future, and having vanessa and perry be there for him will definitely help him get there but he still has a long time of healing to do before he can finally realize that he’s worth more than what his parents told him through his entire childhood

deep down this man has zero (0) self esteem and he NEEDS to realize his own worth before he’s able to fight for himself

[hiding-in-love-from-war]

You can't give me an egotistical character who's hiding he's passively suicidal and says shit like "no one sabotages me except me" and expect me to not want him

[fallenangelvictorious]

Look I’m going to give first time homeowners a piece of advice I wish they knew; don’t plant juniper bush. Oh but they are so cute and low maintenance and smell n- NO. all of those things are true but don’t do it. Being low maintenec means you aren’t going to think to maintain it, by which I mean trim it. So it will slowly but surely transform into a scraggly beast fit for the mountains of it ancestors, ok? You’re little 6inch puff ball is going to grow within the year into a 12inch bush, still cute still smells nice. And then you are going to look away.

And that little bunch will become a medium sized bush. Ok that’s fine, you think, I’ll just trim it a little and it’ll be fine. And you do! You trim it and well it’s kinda ugly under there so you don’t trim it that much and it makes kinda a mess so that’s annoying, but, it still smells nice!

You don’t know it but it’s now too late for you. By trimming it you have signaled that it must grow deeper and faster then ever before. The next year your bush will shoot out in all directions (most crucially down).

You are now In It. The bush was already bigger than you wanted, that’s why you trimmed it. Now you are at a crossroads (you may not even know it but you are) and must decide whether to trim it down and leave it looking ugly for part of the year, or leave it to go feral.

(The correct answer it to shape it in small but targeted trimmings, but you bought a low maintenance plant for a reason. You are not going to do this level of maintenance (no. You won’t.))

Neither of those options are good but one is less work so you will likely do some sporadic middle ground, where you trim it only when it is ‘getting in the way’. However even if you trim the top you cannot trim the bottom, so one day when the juniper is massive an gnarled and very much in the way you will get the wild hair to put in something that is actually beautiful or at least actually low maintenance and you will go to remove the juniper.

This. This is the real folly. The juniper, despite being a modest six feet across has by now dug its roots into the mantle of the earth and has extracted the nickel and other various metals located there to reinforce its main trunk and branches.

Remove, the juniper? Remove the juniper?! Ha! Ha ha ha ! Haha! Well let us see you try. Do you have a chainsaw? Do you have a truck with a tow and chains? Do you have a weekend to fill with spite and violence (one per bush)? If you have answered No to any of the above then do yourself a favor,

Do not buy that juniper bush

[pansy2025]

im not sure if ill ever finish or post anything but u do think it would be pretty funny if my three categories on ao3 were kingdom hearts, jujutsu kaisen, and my chemical romance rpf. i think that’s a pretty good representation of who i am

[sentimentalslut]

ik so many of u are passionate about bats and think they are cute and thats great!! theyre v important animals for our ecosystems! that being said please for the love of god if you hold a wild bat. pick it up. wake up with it in your room in GENERAL. immediately. IMMEDIATELY. get a rabies vaccine. go to urgent care, the er, wherever. the faster the better.

[hyraeth]

How did it take me this long to find out there's a show about a real estate agency that specializes in haunted houses

[autumnbrambleagain]

i'm glad i save random things to my hd because i foudn this fucking nonsense i wrote in a fugue state 14 years and 2 months ago at 2am

the door is locked

whokilledem

the answers ghosts pat always ghosts

all these years in my line of work

a hundred murder cases and ghosts

all of em

henry you are the worst detective get out of here i am not hiring you anymore go back to

drinking whisky

and talking in metaphors

little did pat know that i was collecting evidence on him

evidence of crimes

ROARING TWENTIES CRIMES

dame sashayed into my door

legs short and compacted

like revolvers

her body long and flowing

like the smoke trail of revolvers

her eyes glistened black in her dangerous looking face

like the muzzle of a revolver

her whiskers twitched as she leaned over my desk

like a revolver sliding out its holster

in a weasely voice

like a revolver's report

she said she needed my help

like a revolver does for to be pulling its trigger

i couldnt resist her

just like a revolver bullet passin through my soft body

dame weasel i said

mickey is gonna come afta ya

you need a place to stay

like a holster

for revolvers

she leaned her long little body over my lap

like revolvers gearing up to be aimed

and she asked if i had an idea

like revolvers waiting to be fired

i told her to hide out with me

and my revolvers

we ended up in my bedroom

with my revolvers

and then she pulled out a revolver

it was a revolver

and she pointed it at me

like it was a revolver

and told me there was a change of plans

like revolvers changin' cylinders

and that mickey and his boys were coming for me

with revolvers

and if i stayed shut and still shed make sure they went easy on me

like well oiled revolvers

and i said to her

flapper stoat dame

i like ya babe

but no one points a revolver at

revolver henry

so i took out my revolver

and we shot at one another

with revolvers

and in the heat of the moment

like the heat of revolvers

we began to make love

with our revolvers

does it really end like this

i asked

as i stared down the snub nose of her revolver

yeah she said

cocking back her revolver

i was the crime boss all along she said

steadying her revolver

it is okay though

she said

shooting her revolver

if i hadnt noticed

she said

over the din of her revolver

she was

under that dress

a zombie thing

with a revolver

and shed bring me back

as a zombie

and i asked

as i felt my blood spill out

like the bullets of revolvers

if i could get to use revolvers

when i was a zombie

she said yes

and

for the first time in my life

i was happy

like revolvers

firing their first rounds

being a zombie

and a gangster

is not bad

like revolvers

i get to wear a suit

with stripes like the cylinders of revolvers

and i get to use guns

like revolvers

and taking orders from a compact chick

tough like a revolver

does something for me

i think i have found where i fit in

like bullets

in the chambers

of revolvers