[It worked out better than expected! Thank you all for participating, and sorry to those whose asks didn't appear properly... I hope next time I'll manage this better!]
[Have you missed Pluey and Jongler? Me too. We will be going back to regularly scheduled content, but Battat's friends will not be forgotten!! Please look forward to their occasional appearances in future asks and events!]
[Did you like the event? Do you think i can improve future events in some way? Please send your suggestions to my ask box or comment them below :3]
[YAYY!!! EVENT TIME!!! Or should i say, ✨IT'S! E....VENT! TIMEEE!!✨]
[Welcome to the Not-The-Mikes's first event! I hope you're just as excited as me for it, it's a chance to put our favorite characters in SITUATIONS!]
[Today's situation is... (Shhh, it's starting!)]
(Battat stands in the door of the pippins casino, unexcitedly getting used to the stuffy scent of the place and the overwhelming brouhaha of the crowd. He sighs, walking and checking in. He gets directions to his table, making his way there as slowly as possible to delay his arrival as much as he can, but, midway there..)
ENCRYPTION! (Longshot jumps at him, nearly tackling him to the ground) You came! That's already the start of our luck!!
Yeah, yeah. I don't have a habit of being a no-show. (Battat manages to unstick Longshot from himself like a misplaced sticker) And, for tonight, call me Battat. I've got... an audience that knows me better under that name.
Woah, an audience? That's really cool! And... ominous??? (Longshot nods and thinks...."I have no idea what that means") Let's get you to the table! Everyone's waiting! We even got one that's more cut off from everyone else, since you get overwhelmed easily. (He grabs Battat by the hand and drags him along.)
("cut off..... I guess that's nice... but wouldn't that mean that no one could really help me if they chose to rag on me?")
(When at the table, He takes his seat excitedly getting the attention of his tablemates) Hey guys, Battat's here! He said we should call him his stage name.
Hello, Battat. (BB pushes a cup of coffee towards him) The usual. Caramel decaf.
...thanks. ("Can I trust that cup??? He's never pranked me but... what if today's the first time...")
Tato~! It's been a while! Why didn't you show up earlier??? We almost started without you! (Payoff slides a poison and drug testing kit towards Battat)
(Battat quickly grabs it, checks if it's properly sealed, then tests his coffee. Waiting for the strip to change color, he looks around the table to see who's there. Sure enough, the whole group showed up.)
We're so happy to see you! What have you been up to lately? (Hit smiles, absentmindedly throwing a card in the game he and Wildcard were playing while waiting)
(If Wildcard's expression is to be believed, he just lost... good that nothing big was at stakes! He hands his leftover sandwich to Hit, then waves at Battat excitedly) !!!
(Battat waves back, way less excited) Uh.. not much.... (He looks down at his test kit. He's in the clear, seems the drink is safe)
Ready to play some Poker? We were hoping to ask you if you were fine with stri-
Uhm, actually! (Battat reaches into his pocket, pulling out a box of colorful cards and puts it on the table) I brought Uno... Pluey just got me a new Tenna themed deck and... i was hoping to... try it...? (He braces for rejection)
OF COURSE, TATO! 🧡(Payoff was the first to speak up, but he echoed the whole group's thoughts) We can play whatever you want!! Forever!!!
(Battat smiles. "Eugh..they're already making fun of me... that was quick") ... What are we playing for?
Oh it's for- (Longshot cut himself off with a cough) Uh.....Points.
How much?
I... Don't know?
You.. Don't know?
I have like 300 points with me!! Is that something?
That doesn't even cover a TV Dinner. Aren't you supposed to be mega rich?
I left everything at home! I didn't know we'd be playing for money, that's not what we agreed on!
It does cover a TV Dinner if you buy it from Dealer... His prices are pretty good lately.
ARE YOU CRAZY??? If I'm getting food from Dealer he better pay me to eat it!
Well, No one's forcing you...
I can probably find something else to put down...
Can you put your sweater down? I kinda want to try and get it!
THERE'S NO WAY????
I'm putting down 10 000 points. Can we stop arguing? (BB gave them an ice cold glare, intimidating everyone into silence)
...
...
...
Good. (BB grabs the box and opens it, pulling out the frontmost card.) ...The Tenna theme is cool.
(Battat blushes in embarrassment) ... Uh ...Y-yeah...thanks... (He stays silent after that, looking off to the side, feeling awkward)
("Dear god, I want him so bad.")
[And now, Event rules!]
[Battat and his friends are going to play Uno! They are going to be made aware of us in the first ask answered, i omitted including this here cause i wanted to get to the point, so you can send questions directly directed at them! Ever wanted to know something about Battat that Battat himself would never answer? They'll spill the beans! Want to directly affect the game and/or other miscellaneous events? Describe what happens! The only "Don't" there is is that you can't put yourself or any Ocs in the scene, you can only affect things through nebulous powers only Mike can summon!]
[Reminder to not go too far with any NSFW related asks even if there are some suggestive implications in the post. (Actually i hope all the details in here will be picked up hehe). Not to worry, every ask will have at least one illustration attached! Which also means that the posting schedule will be slower than usual, but i trust that you guys will be patient o( ^ ∇ ^ )o ]
[This event will last 15 asks, with a flexibility of 5 additional ones. I'm not expecting to hit 15 asks, let alone 20, this is just testing the grounds for how many asks to expect for future events. I will end the event if asks dry up or if i feel it has gone on for too long. The event tag is #UnoChance, at the end of the event it will be added to the pinned post in a new event section under the featured characters!]
[Want to check out the boys to see what they look like when not pixelized? CLICK HERE FOR FREE KROMER]
[AGAIN! ✨IT'S! E....VENT! TIMEEEE! ✨Ask box is OPEN!]
Okay, Battat. Say, hypothetically… like, purely hypothetically, everyone else at the table has feelings for you in some way. Again. Purely hypothetically. How would you navigate the game from there after learning of this? Hypothetically, of course.
[Pt.9]
("Is my audience also making fun of me now..? What kind of question is that..") I think it's silly to think of scenarios so far removed from reality but.. I guess I can entertain you?
(Payoff was already paying attention, but now he's double paying attention)
(Hit was trying to peek at Payoff's cards but his attention is now diverted)
(Wildcard looks in Battat's direction)
(Longshot hides his face behind his cards, but still listens)
(BB doesn't turn his head, but like Longshot, he's paying attention)
(Battat thinks for a while) Honestly, I don't know? I think i would leave.
???????????????
(He shakes his head) I've seen those guys in relationships, I wouldnt even want to risk ending up like that. I would leave.
(Payoff lays on the table face down)
(Hit feels stupid cause he knows exactly what Battat means)
(Wildcard seems confused since from his point of view all his past relationships went well)
(Longshot silently sighs, then starts rocking on the back legs of his stool)
...
....But...
...............
(Battat thinks some more) Well, if in your hypothetical scenario they also don't treat me like that... hm.. I would just navigate the game normally. And maybe it wouldn't feel so weird hanging out with them.
(Payoff immediately sits back up, and his head starts spinning. "Woah! Whoaw! He sounds like he would consider it...Woww!!!!")
(Hit nearly drops his cards, startled by Payoff)
(Longshot loses his balance and falls backwards)
?? (He looks down at Longshot to make sure he's okay)
(BB turns his head away from Battat to make sure his blushing goes unseen)
(Battat turns around) ...Did Longshot leave? What was that thud?
Nah i'm here!! (He stands up and picks his stool up, then sits back down)
(Battat looks at Payoff) And why is his head rolling?
I PUNCHED HIM!
(Payoff's head finally stops on a 6)
(Hit punches Payoff as a demonstration)
(That does work to make Payoff's head spin again, but he falls off his stool, knocked out)
HIT??????
I DIDNT MEAN TO HIT HIM THAT HARD!!!
("Maybe I should have gotten something non-alcoholic for Hit too.")
(Battat shoots everyone a weird look reaches for his cards, but after patting the table a few times, he looks down and doesn't see them) ...my cards?
(Longshot was already looking for his on the floor) Did anyone see my cards? I must have dropped them when i fell...
(Wildcard realizes that the cards he had in hand are now gone) ..???????
(Hit notices that both his and Payoff's cards also are gone) huh? Uhh... I didn't see your cards Longshot, did you see mine?
(BB looks down to check on his cards and they're gone too) ... (He looks at Hit, irritated)
DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT??? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING???
(Battat scratches the back of his head) Uhh.. I guess we have to start a new game. We can count this one as a draw.
Battat is a stage name? Do you like it better than your other name, or is either fine? (also, Tato is a cute nickname. Your friends are cute <3)
[Pt.4]
It didn't start as a stage name, more like a pseudonym to avoid being recognized once I moved here. I prefer it, but Encryption is fine. I... got recognized anyway. Because I'm the only green pippin. Ever.
Tato IS a cute nickname, isn't it? As cute as the pippin it belongs to! It comes from how Battat is just a misspelling of how you say "potato" in French. It's soooo silly, right? I LOVE IT!
("Why is he never subtle with the mockery....")
His pippin name comes from the fact only he really understands what he's talking about most of the time... I think that's pretty cool...
...
We're all cute, but I'm the cutest, right? Right?
The ego on that guy...
Battat is lucky that he likes his new name. I don't like mine.
(Longshot thinks that BB ruined the vibe) ...
(Wildcard is thankful for not being able to talk, at least there's no pressure to say anything right now) ...
((gives everyone but Battat a +4 card))
Go crazy :3
[Pt. 3]
(Wildcard looks at the card in the center again, then at his own, thinking of what to do.)
("He's got options... bad news for Hit and Longshot.")
(Eventually, he decides, pulling one card out of his hand, putting it down on the pile. +4)
(Hit reeeeaaaally slowly turns his head towards Wildcard) What color....?
(Wildcard points at Battat)
HAH! (Hit puts down a green +2) Thank you Wildcard!!!
(Payoff puts down a +4 without much hesitation or eagerness, then glances at Hit again. "That was his only plus card. Or, his only special card even, maybe." He looks at BB) Blue.
(BB puts down a +4 card) Yellow.
(Battat sits in silence, looking at his cards)
(".............oh no. He's not considering his options. He's in shock" Payoff puts his face in his hands)
(Wildcard also notices that, looks at Battat, comes to the same conclusion, and he starts quickly looking at everyone else at the table to see if they've noticed too)
(Hit's smile becomes awkward and he opens his eyes for once, looking at Battat, nervous)
(Averting his eyes from Battat, Longshot tries to keep his eyes on his cards and starts sweating)
(If BB's stare could burn, Battat would be no more "I may have... fumbled this one. Maybe I should have taken the hit........")
...26 huh. You guys didn't do that on purpose... did you... ("I'm sure they did...")
Shout outs to Battat. Most oblivious Pippins in all of TV World. Also the Pippins with the most trust issues! That’s 2 awards in one!
[Pt. 1]
That's a big box of cards! I don't remember Uno having so many...
It's actually closer to 2 decks and it has a lot more special cards than there is in the base game, Tenna wanted his game to be bigger and cooler.
Yeah, that sounds like Tenna!
Alright, I'm shuffling the cards!
There's no way! You're just gonna put some in your sleeves, I'M shuffling the deck.
I don't have sleeves for that... BUT YOU DO!
What if i did it?
FAT CHANCE.
(Wildcard reaches for the deck, but his hand is grabbed by Hit to stop him)
You can't either! You've got sleeves and a suspicious look in your eyes!
(Wildcard silently giggles, busted)
Battat could do it?
You're gonna make the birthday boy do the dirty work??
It's not my birthday...
Tato, I didn't mean it like that, I know your birthday! 🧡
I think BB should shuffle the cards... I trust him the most to not sneak any cards from the deck. (Longshot slides the Uno box towards BB)
(BB grabs the box, takes the cards out, and shuffles them. When he feels they've been mixed sufficiently, he starts distributing them, 7 cards for each, face down on the table.)
(While BB is giving out the cards, Battat turns his head to look at us.) By the way, I'm neither oblivious nor do I have trust issues! Well, maybe the trust issues, kinda, but I have my reasons. AND I DON'T WANT YOUR AWARDS FOR THIS??????
(Wildcard leans over, looking where Battat was looking) ...
(Payoff too tries to look where Battat was looking) ...Who are you talking to?
To, uh, my audience.
Your audience...?
(Battat points at the fourth wall camera, making everyone look there to check what he's on about)
(Wildcard finally notices and waves at us)
Wait! That's actually so cool! (Hit gets up and runs up to our little window into their reality) Hi everyone!! (He starts trying to get a closer look, then starts making silly faces)
Quit that. (BB pulls him back by the bow, then throws him effortlessly and flawlessly over the table and straight back onto his seat, before going back to his own. He finishes up handling the cards by creating 6 more piles of 7 cards, placing them to his side, and putting the pile of remaining cards to his other side.) The cards have been dealt. Everyone look at their hand.
[Aaaand here comes the last story! I hope you enjoy it as much as you enjoyed the five others :) As last time, title links to a song that I associate with the whole group, as they're all featured in this one!]
Five Of A Kind
Payoff sits down on the sofa of the Mike room, crossing his legs and putting down the box he was holding on the coffee table. He turns it so it faces him, so he can admire his fantastic gift once more. A limited edition Tenna plush, Battat will 100% be loving this... and maybe...Payoff could ask for a kiss on the cheek?
"What are you so red for?"
Payoff looks to the side, annoyed. "Mind your business, Pink Telephone."
"Were you daydreaming about Battat? Let me guess, you want to ask him to kiss you on the cheek? No chance! If anyone's getting kissed at all, it's gonna be ME, because I have the best gift ever for him!" As he speaks, Hit looks at the box on the table. "Wait... THE PLUSH!?"
Payoff notices the box Hit is holding at the exact same time. "DID YOU COPY ME???"
"I think it's the other way around!"
"Copying YOU??? Won't be caught dead doing that! I had that idea first, I've been waiting to order that thing since the minute it was announced!"
"Well, same here!"
"You guys also bought that plushie, huh."
Payoff and Hit turn their heads to look behind them at BB who just arrived. He's also holding a box with the plush.
"There's no reason to fight." BB looks at their boxes. "Our choice of gift shows we all know Battat well."
"Well... I guess that's true." Hit sighs.
"I'm sure he'll be happy to have several."
"Yeah, you're right BB!" Payoff smiles, forgetting everything about his squabble with Hit.
The three wait for Battat a fair while, Hit entertains himself by stacking the boxes on top of each other and making sure they all align perfectly. BB sits staring into the void. And Payoff takes this chance to crunch some numbers to see how his spendings look for this month.
Longshot walks into the room and up to the trio. "Hi guys! Did you also come to bring Battat's birthday gifts early?"
Before looking at Longshot, all three look at what he was carrying. BB doesn't react, Hit starts laughing, and Payoff is worried.
Longshot now notices the tower of boxes on the table. "Ah.... Man, we all had the same idea..."
"That's fine!" Hit grabs the box from Longshot, and throws it on top of the tower. "Battat's gonna love his four plushies!"
"True that..."
Payoff follows the thrown box with his eyes. "Longshot... That stuff is expensive for someone like you. How long did you save up for it?"
"Since it was announced. I had to cut a few corners here and there but eventually i did make it in time!"
"You can't be doing this... You could have gotten something that cost less. Battat would be happy with a normal plushie, you know?"
"Yeah, but, you know, it's limited edition..."
"I'll just reimburse you for it later."
Hit giggles. "I hope I'm there for the day your card bounces!"
"Bounces?" Payoff reaches in his pocket, taking his credit card out. "Cards bounce?" With all the seriousness of scientific testing, Payoff drops his card to the ground, seemingly disappointed that it doesn't bounce off it.
The three others look at him bewildered. Hit the most. "That is not what that means?????"
"Then what does it mean?"
"It's when your card declines..." Longshot smiles, feeling a little embarrassed for knowing that.
"Declines?"
Hit grabs Payoff by the collar and shakes him. "ARE YOU ACTING DUMB ON PURPOSE???"
Payoff grabs Hit's collar and butts heads. "I CAN'T KNOW EVERYTHING, ASSHOLE!"
BB looks away from them and at Longshot. "Is Wildcard coming?"
"Oh! Yeah! He said he would be there in a few minutes."
BB looks at the ground, thinking for a few seconds. "You know what would be very funny?"
[A few short stories to pass time waiting for me to be done with that last event post (o゜▽゜)o☆ I had already plotted them out earlier and was hoping to post them on my main but I kinda felt bad for how long this event is taking so... I hope you all enjoy this! Since you can't send asks, if you have any questions or comments about those stories, just comment them and I'll reply!]
[Little bonus, every title links to a song that reminds me of the Fumbler the short story is about. You don't have to listen to it while reading btw it has nothing to do with the story itself, just a lil fun surprise!]
"I don't have THAT many clothes!" Twirling his phone's cable around his finger, Hit looks towards his open walk in closet. "I'll probably be done with this in like... an hour or two."
"Right!" Payoff chuckles. "You have sooooooo little clothes, do you want me to buy you some? You really need those new shoes you saw the other day. Otherwise you're gonna have to go barefoot to work. What are you even gonna donate to that charity? You've got nothing!"
"Are you calling me just to make fun of me?"
"Never not, babe!"
Hit glances at his phone with annoyance, and Payoff feels that on his side. "Fine, then! Since you can't be nice to me, we'll talk at the casino tomorrow."
"Don't slam the phone down, I'm not gonna buy you a new o-"
Hit puts the phone down on the receiver, mindful to not slam it, then he turns around to look at the closet, leaning back on the phone's dresser. He taps his finger on his cheek. "...Did he have a point?"
He walks over and peeks inside. One wall, two walls, pink wall, black wall... "Okay. Maybe he had a point." Hit grins in embarrassment. "Well, I better get going..."
...It's taken a little, about six hours and some change, but now he's finally done with the pants and shoes. There's a pile of boxes and bags full of things Hit will never wear again, but at least they'll go to make someone else happy. Time to get to the tops!
Hit grabs a few shirts at once and throws them on his bed, intending on going through them one by one by laying them out flat on it. As the clothes land, a few cards fly out of one of the shirt's sleeve. Hit bends down to pick them up, and turns them to see the card back.
"Oh!" he smiles. "I remember these, It's from when we played uno with Battat!" He stands up. "I... Should probably give those back to him." To avoid getting distracted, he puts the cards down on the dresser, next to the rotary phone, intending on going through with that later.
After sorting this bunch of tops, he reaches for another. This time, cards fall out of several sleeves before he can even throw them on the bed. After doing so, he goes to collect them all. "Why did so many fall out..." He quickly counts them. "That's 7??? And... Those definitely are House's...."
He stays crouching for a few seconds, looking at the clothes on his bed, then at the tops he already packed into the bag. "I should probably check those again."
Luckily, there is nothing in those, neither does he find any in the ones on his bed. But, from now on, he starts checking every sleeve of every shirt, jacket and sweater, even the short ones.
"Good lord..." After closing the last bag, he throws a few more cards at the now half his size pile of cards next to the dresser. "I..."
RIIIIING!
Hit picks up. "Hello, Hit TheJackpot speaking."
"So, how's that clothing sorting going?"
Hearing Payoff's voice, Hit's face sours.
"Oh, my bad, you must have been resting all day huh? With how little clothes you have? Ohohohoho~!"
"STOP LAUGHING AT ME! WHO FUCKING LAUGHS LIKE THAT, 'OHOHOH'? WHAT ARE YOU, ORANGE SANTA???"
Hit can't see it, but there's a 100% chance Payoff just leaned back in his seat. "Oh, come on, baby, don't be like that. Are you gonna need a car to move all that? Two maybe?"
"Bring a pick up truck."
"I'm already in your driveway."
"Well then, get in here and help me carry those bags!"
....Obviously, when he said "help", he meant it in a "Do it all for me" way.
Poker Face
"I- Uhm... Well.... I-I...Can I get a... uh...a..."
BB stares at the pippin in front of him. That guy is trying really hard to form a sentence. "What do you want to order?"
"NOTHING!"
Oh.... He ran away........ BB looks down. Wildcard was probably right, he should try to smile more. But, he didn't really have control over that. Well, he can try harder next time. If there is a next time.
Going back to cleaning the bar, he's quickly disturbed again, this time by Dealer.
"Hey, big guy!~"
BB looks at him, annoyed. "Hm?"
"Drink sales are down! And our employees are quite clear with the reason behind that." Dealer leans on the counter. "Stop lookin' like a ghost! You're working at a bar, not at a funeral home! Boss hired you cause you're one of the best bartenders around, but right now it's looking like you're more of a scarecrow than anything else."
"I can't help it if other pippins are scared of me."
"You can help it. Smile a little. Let me be clear with you, if i don't see those sales skyrocket before the end of the week, you're out. Capisce?"
"...Understood."
The intimidating air Dealer has on immediately melts away. "I'm glad we got to an understanding! Coca cola on the rocks please!"
BB gets that done for him, and Dealer leaves without paying. So much for skyrocketing the sales.
Two pippins at the nearby table are watching this conversation unfold. One of them leans in closer to the other.
"What's up with everyone being scared of Chalk? I was gone for a weekend and I feel like I missed three seasons and a movie.."
"Oh, well, remember how he was gonna become the official Green Room bartender?"
"Yeah?"
"He didn't. Ramb did. And BB had an absolute meltdown about it backstage. I'm talking throwing furniture and stuff. Punched a hole in the wall."
"Ooooo... That stings, man. I'm guessing that's why everyone's scared of him huh? What's BB short for?"
"Bad Beat."
"..." The pippins giggles. "That's kinda funny actually."
BB glares at the couple from the bar, and as they realize they weren't talking low enough, they turn around towards their game.
BB looks at the cup he's cleaning. That does clear up some things. And, to be fair, he probably should have connected the dots. His demeanour was never an issue before that incident.
He notices a pippins waiting - or gathering the courage - to order. "Yes?"
The pippins looks like a deer in the headlights, and immediately runs off. BB feels disappointed in himself once more. He really did try to smile this time, it just didn't happen. He got too nervous.
A few hours pass by with no orders, and BB eventually runs out of things to clean. He just sits down on the stool on his side of the counter and waits, looking down, for anything to happen.
"Heyy, BB, my man!"
BB lifts his head. "Payoff."
"What's up? Is business slow or something? That's an awful lot of glasses that aren't being used for a bar YOU'RE tending to!"
He looks to the side, embarrassed. He mumbles. "People are scared of me."
Payoff's smile turns understanding, then he immediately decides to say something stupid. "Yeah I am too."
Anger comes easier to BB's face than smiles.
"Ohohohoho~! Don't make that face, I was only kidding!"
"If you just came here to laugh like an idiot, you can leave."
Payoff throws his card towards BB like a shuriken before turning around to face the room, and it's perfectly caught. "TONIGHT'S DRINKS ARE ALL ON ME!" He winks at BB and leaves.
The casino's brouhaha stops for a moment after Payoff gives the news, and BB feels the pressure of everyone silently staring his way. A few pippinses decide to risk getting bitten and come by to the bar to order something.
"Uhh.. Could I get... A mojito...?"
"Of course." BB gets to work, serving this and the other few pippins at the counter. Seeing that they didn't get killed on sight, other pippinses decide to try their luck, and very fast, BB is overwhelmed.
"I gotchu!"
BB looks to the side to see who just slid behind the counter. Pass smiles at him.
"I'm not on the clock, but you looked like you really struggled in there."
"...Thanks."
"Don't mention it!"
Ace In The Hole
There's not much to do on Wednesday afternoon at the fanmail department. To be fair, there isn't much to do on other times of day, and other days either.
Wildcard is leaning against the water cooler, bouncing a ball against the floor, wall and catching it. A very productive way to spend time, no doubt.
"Wildcard?" The manager peeks from around the corner. "Oh, great, you're not doing anything." He walks over. "Can you deliver that letter to the IT department? They asked us to rewrite all fanmail letters digitally for today's board, but uhm. Well, you know. So go tell them to cut the fanmail room out of the game."
Wildcard nods with a smile.
"Thanks Card, you're a lifesaver. Oh, uhm. It's on the first board, so, if you could hurry that would be great..."
He didn't need to be told twice. As soon as the manager turns his back, Wildcard takes off. This is easy! He just needs to find Longshot!
Three hallways down, his path is already blocked. A group of shadowguys are loitering around the hallway he needs to take. He stops and listens to their chatter, gathering that they're waiting for their friend to open his office. But that's definitely not where they should be going, that's the broom closet they're waiting on someone to open...
Wildcard backs up a little, ready to leap over them, when his eyes are drawn to a nameplate on the door. Bingo, that's the guy. Wildcard knocks on the door, then stands back.
When the door opens, he's perfectly hidden behind it. The shadowguy inside the office calls over his friends, making them realize they were barking up the wrong tree. Once everyone is inside the office and the door is closed, Wildcard can start moving once more.
He does make it a decent distance, but he slips and falls on his ass. It hurts, but the pain disappears when he sees his letter is about to fall... on the wet floor! He slides towards it, catching it before it touches anything.
He gets up on his knees and looks around. No one around, who spilled water and just left it??? No matter. Wildcard gets up and skates his way to the edge of the giant puddle, hopping out. He's just about to leave, when he hears someone talking nearby.
"[...] have to get this over with. We have to deal with this before Kris and their friends arrive... WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY'RE ALREADY THERE???"
Wildcard tenses up. That is definitely Tenna, and he's definitely coming this way, and he's definitely on the other side of the puddle. Well, now he can't just leave this like that. He looks around for any supply closet, but there isn't any... And Tenna will definitely not notice him if he just starts flailing around to warn him.
After a prayer, Wildcard takes his jacket off his back, and starts wiping the water with it. He's not pleased about it, but that's all he can think of right now.
"They're monologuing? Okay, good, give me a moment I'll be there in 5. Get those lights and cameras ready!"
Tenna walks past Wildcard, unknowingly saved from hitting the ground with his ass himself. Wildcard sighs in relief. Then holds his jacket up with pain in his eyes. It's okay, washing machines exist... I guess....
No time to mop around! He's got a letter to deliver. And, if the lightners are already there, he's already late. Wildcard takes off, running twice as fast this time.
"Going somewhere, handsome?"
Wildcard halts before he can run into Payoff. He tries to step around, but Payoff steps to this side too.
"Come on, what can be so urgent? You work for the fanmail department!"
Wildcard's smile turns irritated. How many things are gonna stand in his way?! He doesn't have time for this!
"I need some help actually, can you- WAIT HUH???"
Wildcard disappears around the corner.
"WHAT'S THIS?! WHY IS YOUR JACKET SOAKED???? THAT'S DISGUSTING! HEY! GET THAT THING OFF ME!!!"
Finally! He made it to the IT department! And it just took half an hour of running and only one assault charge!
"Oh, Wildcard?" Longshot just walked out of the IT kitchen with a coffee. "Woah, I'm lucky to run into you here! Do you want a coffee? I can make you some."
Wildcard immediately lights up seeing Longshot and hugs him.
"Woah, you seem stressed out... Did something happen?"
...
The House Always Wins
"You sit very comfortably for someone who's about to gamble away his right to step into my casino."
That assessment is really on point. Payoff is not sitting properly in his armchair. Leaning on one armrest, one leg kicked up on the other one, holding the snack bowl that was originally on the table.
"I guess. But I am sitting right for someone who's about to win his right to step into your casino!"
"It wouldn't be you if you weren't cocky to a fault." House sits on the opposite side of the table. He looks at Payoff eat another snack, unbothered. "Are you not gonna put on your sunglasses?"
"Oh come on, babe, you know I only put those on for hard games!"
"I am not your 'Babe'."
"I think you should lay off the attitude, Payoff~" Dealer leans over the table. "You'll look very stupid if you lose."
"Conclusion, I'm about to look very smart! Can we start already? I'm out of cashews."
Both pippins in front of him shot him an irritated look. House waves his hand, giving Dealer the go ahead to start shuffling cards.
"You're not looking."
Payoff finishes yawning then looked at House. "For what?"
"You don't want to make sure we're not messing with the deck?"
"There was a chance for that NOT to happen? Oh, well, start again, I'll watch."
"Don't bother, Dealer."
Dealer shrugs, and gives out the cards. Both players look at their hands. House's face remains unchanging, but Payoff lets a big smile draw itself on his face. House looks up at him.
"There's no need to bluff. I know how you play."
Payoff giggles. "You know me so well, House! We should get married~"
House furrows his eyebrows. Dealer raises his.
"Hey, Boss, that's not actually a bad ide-"
"Silence, Dealer. Let's start the game."
Dealer falls back in line, standing straight. The game happens in silence, with both players staring at each other as Dealer unveils the community cards. No bets are made or matched, after all the prize has already been decided before the game.
Dealer smirks knowingly. "Showdown."
Both pippins show their hands. House grunts. Dealer seethes. Payoff brings the back of his hand to his mouth and laughs.
"OHOHOHO~!"
Clear, who up until now was standing silently in the shadows behind House, takes a few steps towards the table, anticipating orders.
"Well, gentlemen, it looks like I will be allowed back into the casino after all. Pleasure to play with you! But maybe next time get me some tea too to go along with the snacks? HOOHOHO~!"
"Clear, Dealer. Get him and his stupid laugh out of my casino."
The curb doesn't taste nice, but that's what Payoff is having for dinner tonight.
"You can kick me out all you want, but you can't keep me out! A PROMISE IS A PROMISE, HOUSE!"
"Thank you for playing with us, Payoff." House stands in the doorway of the emergency exit. "Your visit this evening has been a pleasure on all parts, I'm sure. You are very polite to take your leave as we think further on how to apply the terms now established by your victory."
The door slams closed, and Payoff picks himself up from the ground, struggling a little to locate his sunglasses in the dark.
"Oh hey, Payoff. Didn't think I'd see you here tonight. Or. Ever???"
Payoff turns his head towards the dumpsters, seeing Longshot closing one. "Longshot? What are you doing here?"
"Uhh... Making my end of the month... more cushy?" Longshot tries to hide his bag full of resalable junk behind his back. "How about you? You don't usually hang around dumpsters."
Payoff shakes his head, then goes to hang off Longshot's shoulders. "Longshot... I just got so unlucky... Despite winning, they still kicked me out! I know exactly how it feels to be you right now..."
Longshot gives Payoff a rare glance of annoyance. "Do you, now?"
"I do..." He reaches in his pocket, takes out his credit card, and puts it against Longshot's chest. "Now drop all that junk please, no one's gonna buy that from you."
No Dice
"If i can land a six before the end of the day..."
"I'll let you stay over at mine!"
Longshot considers it. His landlord had cut off hot water to his apartment... He had paid his bill, but not his neighbor, and the landlord didn't want to hear that he had cut water to the wrong house. Staying over at Hit's place would mean taking showers that don't make him want to die from the start of the day. He looks at the orange dice Hit is holding.
"Is it weighed?"
"You really don't trust me huh?"
"It's not that... I just know you."
"Come on, it's Payoff's dice, for extra luck! He wouldn't be caught dead with a weighed dice. And besides, why are you acting like I don't want to help you out?"
"You hate having people over at your place.."
"I'm about to change my mind."
Longshot snatches the dice from Hit's hand with a big, slightly dishonest smile. "Just one six, huh??? And I've got all day! How hard can that be! Right?"
"That's the attitude!" Hit starts walking away. "No need to give me any proof, honor system and allat! Have a nice day! Break a leg!" He waves and runs off.
Longshot looks at him go, then at the dice in his hand. "Can I really pull this off..." He turns around and starts walking off towards the IT kitchen. Deciding to try his luck immediately, he throws the dice, catches it again, and opens his hand. One. "That does not bode well..."
He walks into the kitchen, and trips on a broom that had fallen over, dropping the dice. It hit the ground, bounces a few times, before sliding under the fridge.
Longshot hits the ground with his fist and lowers his head. "EUGHH IS THIS FOR REAL?!" He looks back up, brainstorming ideas on how to get that dice back, then looks behind him at the broom.
Turns out, that's perfect, it fits right under the fridge! It takes a few times, but eventually, he gets it out of there. Before grabbing it, he checks the number on it. 4. Goddammit. Well. Maybe for now he should just focus on not losing that dice.
He walks into his office, setting down his coffee on his desk, far enough from the keyboard to avoid accidents. He lets himself fall into his desk chair, which falls over, sending him to the ground. Getting back up by pulling himself up using his desk, he checks his hand. No dice?!
Longshot panics and looks around, and not seeing it anywhere, he panics more. Even getting on all fours to check under things doesn't get him anywhere. He shivers, thinking back to this morning's cold shower.
"Longshot?"
He kneels and looks back at his office's door, then immediately stands up. "Battat!!"
"What were you doing on the ground?" Battat walks in, then notices the fallen over desk chair. "Nevermind. I need you to work on the controls for the new stage lights we got. They're not doing what we want them to do and Tenna is having a meltdown." He extends his hand to give Longshot the file he's holding.
"Sure, I can do that! Give me an hour or two!" He grabs the file, glancing over the contents.
Battat nods. "I'll... give you the day. Just to be sure." He seems to notice something on the ground behind Longshot. "Were you looking for that dice?"
Longshot turns around, and almost cries of joy seeing the dice laying amongst his professional cable management nest. "Oh, I-I thought I was over!!"
Battat shoots him a concerned look. "I mean... I guess this is Payoff's dice... But he wouldn't kill you over that. He has like. A hundred. Maybe a thousand. Hit stole half of them too."
Longshot doesn't dare to look Battat in the eyes, and just bussies himself with picking the dice up. "Yeah... Yeah... You're... Right..." He checks the number, then sighs. Five.
"Well. I'll leave you to it. Thanks again." Battat leaves.
"Well...I should get to work..."
Every once in a while, to take a break from looking at the screen, Longshot rolls the dice for a few minutes. Despite rolling it quite fast and quite a lot, he can't get a six. One. Three. Three. Five. One. Two. Two. Five. Seven??? That's not even a number ON the dice!!!
As the day goes, he stops touching the dice as often, somewhat losing hope, and getting drawn into his work more and more to make sure not to disappoint Battat.
"You're leaving, Shot?"
Longshot closes the door to his office. "Uhm, yeah, Boss. Sorry I couldn't get much done today, I had to..."
"Yes, Mike told me. Go tell him you're done, but before that, can you drop into the game NPC game room? Some of the controllers seem to be broken, I need you to check that, you're the last one here."
"Sure thing, boss. Uhm... Can I ask for overtime pa- okay he's gone nevermind..."
The NPC game room is already empty at this hour, but controllers are strewn around the makeshiftedly converted backstage without a care. Longshot goes around all of them, making sure they are working, and trying to fix those that aren't to the best of his ability. Luckily, the only issue with those are that they weren't plugged in properly.
When he gets to the last one, he sighs in contentment, before remembering that he's going to have to drink his before-bed hot chocolate cold. He forces a smile, turning around...
"Hey Longsho-"
Hit runs right into Longshot, not expecting his turn. Both of them fall, and the dice Longshot put in his pocket falls out, bouncing away and falling into an inconveniently placed manhole.
Both pippins look at this like one would look at a carefully built card castle crumble, though Hit only really feels sorry for Longshot, not Payoff. "I'm sorry, Shot..."
Longshot crawls over to the manhole to check if it was shallow enough to be jumped into and pulled up from, but unfortunately it's way too deep with no kind of ladder to access it.
Hit comes to kneel besides him, looking down too. He pats his friend's back, "Tough luck, my guy. Did you get a six?"
"I...." Longshot is still looking down at the dice. "I didn't..." Looking at the dice, he realizes something. He squints. Six! "I did! Look!" He points at it.
Hit squints too. "Oh yeah! That is a six! .... I that really your first six of the day?"
Longshot springs to his feet. "Who cares! Get your sofa ready, I'm sleeping on it tonight!" He happily runs out of the room.
Hit stands up too, still looking down the manhole. He smirks mischievously, totally planning on telling Payoff about the fate of his dice.
[Woah, that's a lot huh! I hope you liked reading all that! :3 There might be mistakes but. FUCK IT WE BALL!!!!!!]
