#unpacking boxes

[tasiaadams18art]

The Sims are unpacking the boxes in the mall.

[lifeasarandomdudeknowsit-blog]

Entry #323 - Unpacking Memories

The past two days have been rather mentally and emotionally exhausting for yours truly.  Going through these boxes for the first time in nearly two years, figuring out what to actually keep for the future...it's way more difficult than initially expected.  Sometimes, you find a box full of cool stuff you forgot you owned (like a box today that contained about a dozen shirts still in good condition).  Those are what I like to refer to as the “fun boxes.”  Then there are the boxes that just have a huge pile of random crap that appears to have been tossed into the box in a panic.  Then a tornado somehow managed to contain itself entirely within that box, causing an even bigger mess.  The very first box I cleaned out was one of those, as was the second box I cleaned out today.  Those are, by far, the most difficult boxes to go through.  It's just a mishmash of random stuff, from old papers I'm not sure I still need to all sorts of cords and cables for items I don't even know if I still own to all manner of other stuff.  Those are usually the boxes that, when attempting to go through my possessions by myself, I give up after about five minutes and stop going through boxes for another six months.  At least having my mom there to push me through the worst of it is helping me actually get through the bad boxes.  It's probably also helping me to get rid of a lot of stuff I might have otherwise kept.  Things like old DVDs and CDs filled with stuff I downloaded years ago that I will more than likely never watch or listen to (or at least stuff that is easily available on the Internet nowadays).

Once my mom said the magic word (that word being “hoarder”) I realized I was actually behaving like one.  I was saying things like, “Oh, I'll probably have use for this at some point later,” when what I really mean is “This is something I don't think I should throw away, but I also don't think anyone else would find useful, so I'll just keep it myself.”  And that is a dangerous mindset to have going into a project like this. I said going in that I wanted to cut down significantly on my possessions, and so far, I've done a decent job.  I've gone through five boxes and have pared the content down to about half that.  One box is dedicated solely to books, and I'm certain there will be more book boxes to come.  But the other box is filled with (yet again) a pile of random stuff.  Slightly less random than the bad boxes, but I haven't exactly documented what's in that particular box.  So I'm going to have to go through it again so I actually know what's in there, because the last time I packed, I didn't document or label any of the boxes, so I have no idea what's in any of them.  Not exactly the smartest plan, was it?  And I don't really want to deal with that again if I do end up moving to a new place.  Which, considering I would really like to stop renting eventually, is basically a guarantee.

I don't know why I thought this was going to be a relatively easy project to work through.  Maybe I thought I had managed to go through and remove all the random crap during the last move.  What REALLY happened was I kept most of my boxes of crap in the garage to the house I lived in for two and a half years, and never really went through most of those boxes in the first place.  So I'm sitting here with maybe close to twenty huge plastic bins full of stuff the contents of which I do not know.  It's ridiculous, really.  I've managed to live without most of this stuff for the past two to four years, so why should I need them now?  I could probably just toss out the boxes and I wouldn't miss any of it.

But then again, if I did that, I would be tossing out all of my books, possibly tossing out more perfectly usable clothes, and other things useful to my life.  Which is why I began this project in the first place.  When I talked yesterday about there being no real substitute for a paper book, I would not have realized that had I not gone through a box yesterday that had a lot of books in it.  Had I just tossed out the first box I cleared today, I would have lost a dozen good shirts.  The bad boxes are a huge chore to go through, but when I find a box with usable items, it makes my day that much better.  I suppose had I ended up going through the two boxes I cleared today in the reverse order, I would be far less emotionally drained than I am now.  That second box really took everything out of me.  I could barely function after finally clearing it out.

I'm certain that there are people out there who wonder why I'm struggling with this so much.  They are probably the same people who can pack their entire lives into ten small boxes and a half dozen pieces of furniture.  I'm not sure I can live like that.  While I don't necessarily want to fill an entire house with my crap, I also like having some things around.  Things like books, video games, records, that sort of thing.  I also enjoy looking back at some of the stuff I've made or accomplished over my lifetime, papers or half-finished songs or video game ideas or awards.  There are more pleasant memories in my brain than I take credit for, and I need to remind myself of that on occasion.  I try to keep myself relatively positive, but some days are tougher than others.  That's why it helps to have a few items kept around to remind me that I'm a pretty decent person.  I'm not amazing.  But I'm not too bad.

I think I've managed to regain myself after the emotional drain of that last box.  I think I can be a functional human being again.  At least as functional as I am.  Of course, it's now the evening and I don't exactly have any plans to go out.  Though I may give that a try one of these days now that I have my cane.  One of these days...

[bakafox]

Well, unless there is still a ‘kitchen’ box that I just am not spotting or things are mixed into ‘collectibles’ boxes, I not only did lose my antique/vintage baking stuff I inherited from Grandma Fritz, but also was not able to keep any crockpot, large soup pot, or ANY baking pans/trays or mixing bowls at all. Or the big frying pan. Or the blender/food processor/mixer that my mom had had about as long as I’ve been alive.

I have the crappy old toaster that doesn’t fit thick slices of anything much less bagel halves, the Foreman grill thingy, maybe the bread machine (I thought I’d seen it or a box for it earlier on but now can’t find it?) and small pots that work for making 1-2 servings of soup, nothing that I can just make a week’s worth of food at once in.

So I guess I’ll be updating that Amazon wishlist further and also calling Trustee Aunt(tm)

And I can muddle by with what I have but I’m kind of in tears about losing all those cookie cutters from my grandma right now specifically. Fuck.

[bakafox]

Near as I have found so far also I wasn’t given/allowed to keep any of the bigger soup pots? Like, I have a shit ton of little ones so far and one sort of medium one, but nothing for if I want to, say, make a single pot of soup that can last/feed me for a week instead of just 2 days’ worth.

I might find some still, there’s boxes to go, just, feeling a bit grump bc today I am already realizing I am unlikely to make it out of the house and getting a HUGE pot of soup on would be good.

[bakafox]

Having to stop unpacking boxes because I’m 3 or 4 boxes down on things marked as being kitchen stuff or plates and have not found the flour sieve or antique & vintage cookie cutters I inherited from my paternal grandmother and am having a terrible panic/anxiety attack.

Please for the fucking love of whatever please, universe, don’t let my aunt have sold that shit/gotten rid of it. Oh fucking hell.

EDIT: also the wooden knife block was so dusty and even spiderwebby wrapped in the loose paper it was wrapped in and then in its box that my anxiety is telling me there is no way I can wash it out enough for it to be ‘clean’ and ‘safe’ to keep my knives in anymore.

[bakafox]

Found the shelves for my DVD shelves!

Also found another box of DVD’s and CD’s, but there’s either yet another box full of them out there, DVD’s mixed in with some other boxes, or I lost some DVD’s, because of course, the two things I have serious desire to watch, The Book of Life and Bastard! are not to be found among any of what I have currently gotten unpacked.

Also I really need to figure out where I can fit some bookshelves in this house and get some bookshelves for my manga and so on that I did keep.

[sherlollyandspoilers]

I don't work today which means I am going to try and unpack a few boxes today...I mean...we have been in the house for a little over two weeks...probably should start making it look like a home. 

Anyways, I would love to talk with my lovelies today! If you guys want to send headcanons (these are my favs!) or would you rathers/have you evers or honest anons or just random questions or if you guys need advice, whatever! I love talking with people! 

So send your stuff this way!