I am this 🤏 close to writing angst abt Peruere having no friends during childhood because MY GOD
I am so lonely guys it’s unreal I’m putting this utc so you guys don’t have to read my bs whatsoever if you don’t want but it’s abt loneliness and writing I just have thoughts and idk where to put them so
Being lonely in your 20’s is a different type of hell I stg! I have my partner and my like, 3 friends, but it’s like. How much can I interact with my friends really if they don’t live in my country?
School is out for the summer and has been for a few weeks and I have not known loneliness like this since I was 16 and bullied horrendously (which was its own breed of betrayal and heartbreak) (watching your entire grade turn against you for two years is not for the weak trust) (don’t trust your 16 year old best friend who you’re lowkey secretly in love with) (hope she’s doing well in life tho, she still hates me but I just hope she’s chilling)
Summer is here and suddenly I’m reminded of the fact that irl I am just not that fun to be around 😭 I have asked people to hang out and they’ve said no which fair enough but atp barely anyone is ever talking to me for proper conversations and the desperation I am having for having some sort of human contact beyond that of my home is getting a littol bit pathetic (I feel pathetic at least) (I googled why people don’t like me multiple times) (I even posted on Reddit) (I grasp at any message that gets sent so I can keep the conversation going so I don’t have to face the silence of nobody talking to me)
Like I’ll say something whether that’s through text or actually speaking and I’ll be so dumb when I speak or whatever that I just instantly realise why people don’t talk to me or why people dislike me
But at the same time i say things and I know damn well they’re coming off as desperate so then I think maybe it’s better to just clam up and not talk because it’s humiliating and embarrassing
So all I really have is writing and that’s great and lovely I adore it, I think I’d like to be an author one day but idk I don’t think I’m good enough we’ll see
But how much sex can I write before I ultimately go back to my Google docs of sadness and also writing based on Ethel Cain songs
It’s all just a bit shit my guys and I have to channel it somewhere because I don’t go back to school until August so chances are I’ll have limited human interaction until then and if I’m not talking to people I’m sat at home doing nothing because nobody wants to do things with me🤩
So yeah who wants sad lonely Peruere because recently I wrote a short story about something unrelated to genshin but it made me cry because it was so sad so imagine what I would do to our girl
I had terrible trouble trying to get the formatting to work so I just posted it like this. While it doesn't look the way I wanted, I do like how this chapter turned out ^-^
I originally wrote this as all one chapter but I decided to split up the letters and text messages. This is my first time posting 2 chapters at once but they're both really short.
Working on chapter 2 of Until Next Summer this week!! I hurriedly wrote about half of it but it's...well it needs a lot of tweaking lmao and then I still have to write the second half.
After this chapter though I think I'm going to largely stick to one letter per chapter because 2 is a lot
