I Finished Social Anthropology-Psychology in Three Years
It has been a year since I graduated from college and since it’s the so-called “graduation season” once again, with all the fresh graduates still high from finally being able to overcome the struggles of college, I thought it would be rather timely to share my experience as a shiftee.
“Paps mage-extend po ako.”
These were the words playing inside my head as I waited for my dad to call me in from his room. It has only been a month after my first year in college and I was about to drop a bomb. I finally mustered the courage to shift from Economics to Social Anthropology and I knew my dad would not like it because he’s not a fan of wasting time. A few minutes later, he finally asked me to come in.
“Sabi po kasi ng mga kaibigan ko parang Psychology naman daw po ung SocAn.”
I originally wanted to take up Psychology at Ateneo but I wasn’t able to take the entrance exam because we were not informed about the exam date when I was in fourth year high school. So I decided to apply for it at Saint Louis University instead. UP was never the dream. I was not even planning to take the UPCAT but our school head managed to give my dad the application form. It was my dad who filled up the form, including the course. He wanted me to become a corporate lawyer so he signed up for Economics. At the time I was actually confident that I will not pass the UPCAT so I went on with it. A few weeks before the exam, I realized not passing the exam would mean frustration for my dad so I told him I was backing out. He wouldn’t be disappointed suppose I didn’t pass if he didn’t know I took it in the first place, right? So on the day of the exam, my dad brought me to UP Baguio thinking it was only for a field trip since my high school has been regularly visiting the said campus for films and other activities.
I graduated class valedictorian. I was then offered academic scholarships from the University of the Cordilleras, University of Baguio and Saint Louis University; another one from UC for earning the Best in English, written and oral, award and a sports scholarship for Taekwondo at SLU. I was already set on studying at SLU because one, that is where all my friends are headed to and two, it is where my dream course is. But two months before graduation every plan I made crumbled down when I passed the UPCAT.
“Nakapasa ka na sa UP eh, bihira lang mga pumapasa ‘dun and Economics is a better pre-Law than Psychology,” were the exact words our school head told me when I informed her I wasn’t sure of which university to pick. So of course I went to UP.
My first year was downright difficult for me. I have been an achiever since pre-school but I felt like the dumbest in UP. I could only stare at my classmates whenever they share brilliant ideas and ask myself why I could not think the same. I could only bawl my eyes out every time I would receive a failing score in an exam when I spent days poring over my notes and readings. I even suffered from mild depression and had to visit the guidance counselor once or thrice, all because I could no longer take the frustration of earning failing and barely passed grades despite having religiously studied. By the end of my first year, I have flunked one math subject; my grades were merely pasang awa and my self-esteem was already way beyond retrieval. That was when I had to assess myself and realized that Economics is not for me. I was supposed to transfer to SLU but my 5.0 ruined it for me. I badly wanted to leave UP because it was already taking its toll on me but at the same time, I wanted to challenge myself that I am capable of completing a degree in this premiere university even if it means letting go of my dream of becoming a Psychologist; besides, God did not let me take it up, perhaps it really is not for me. So what other choice did I have? I had to shift to another course if I wanted to stay in UP. But shifting to another course meant a lot of consequences: 1) there is the possibility of extending my stay for at least one year and 2) I had no assurance of whether or not I would finally excel in Social Anthropology; it is, after all, not Psychology, not really the one I want.
But here’s the thing: I thought about the one year that I have already spent taking up Economics, that one year would therefore be put to waste. Finishing on time was also crucial because I still have to take up Law after and I have already painstakingly planned that I become a lawyer at the age of 26. However, I also considered the fact that one year (or two years, for that matter, because I might extend for one year if I shift to another course) is nothing compared to a lifetime of doing something I never wanted in the first place. Pre-enlistment via CRS (it was still CRS then) was already about to end so I had to quickly make a choice. The night I decided to shift to another course was what changed my life completely.
I was already in my second year when I shifted to Social Anthropology. In UP Baguio, Social Science students are required to take up a Minor (of which number of units are technically equivalent to a Major). Luckily, Psychology is a Minor so I was able to see whether or not it’s really for me. It’s not haha! On our last meeting for my Counseling Psychology class, I told my professor I now prefer Law than Psychology lol.
I spent three years taking up Social Anthropology and Psychology. I was able to finish on time because I was really into what I was doing. The risk I had to take of shifting to another course brought about my favorite life hack: Hindi ka bobo, nasa maling kurso ka lang. I was supposed to graduate Cum Laude but my grades in first year were a bummer. I do not regret it though, I am actually thankful I took the risk because not only did I definitely enjoy SocAn but I was able to prove to myself that I really am capable of living up to being a UP student, I just had to find my niche. Of course I still experienced certain difficulties, UP is still UP, but every pain and hardship was overpowered by the joy brought about by doing something I really like.
So I was the student who barely reached the passing grades in exams. I was the student who almost became suicidal because of frustrations, disappointments and humiliations. I was the student who decided to take a risk. A year after, I became the student whom her classmates would ask for notes and discussions regarding certain topics, the student who spent sleepless nights either studying or drinking her ass off yet still managed to attend her 7:30am class and engage in class discussions, the student who proved that there is nothing wrong with shifting to another course and that time spent studying in college does not matter as long as you love what you are doing. It is more fulfilling when you achieve in and enjoy what you are doing side by side. Years in college is only a number, what is more important is you do not let what others say interfere with what you want because at the end of the day, it is your life, not theirs. Your life is your life.
I am not your typical achiever. Heck I don’t even look like I go to college. You would often see me smoking, drinking, and dancing in parties but the trick is balance. The saying that one cannot have a social life and achieve academically at the same time? That is not true. You can be an achiever, you are an achiever, but you are also human. One reminder: just because you want to excel academically does not mean you can no longer have a life. Of course you have to make some sacrifices but taking a break every once in a while is a trick in college. Balance, it is all about balance. Pressure before pleasure? Pleasure and then pressure? It does not matter what comes first, just remember to take equal amounts of both and not more of the other. If you haven’t seen my life hacks, I’m leaving them here in the hopes that it would inspire you too:
Life hack #1: Surprise those who underestimate you.
Life hack #2: Never reveal your next move.
Life hack #3: Always have a front on the go.
Life hack #4: When brokenhearted, cry for a night, a week, a month or a year, but get up the next day and surpass those who broke you.
Life hack #5: Improve yourself but for you not for the people around you, motivation mo lang sila pero lagi’t lagi para sa’yo pa rin.
Life hack #6: Hindi ka bobo, nasa maling kurso ka lang.
Life hack #7: UP will not only deconstruct your pre-existing principles, it will also crush your dreams and sky-high self-esteem. Beware of this.
Life hack #8: You’ll know something is really for you when you still go on despite the hardships, tears, heartbreaks, doubts and frustrations.
Life hack #9: Do something that you really want so at the end of the day, everything will be worth it.
Life hack #10: Just because you are an achiever doesn’t mean you’ve no right to cry, be frustrated, doubt your intellectual capacity and other abilities for that matter, complain and feel tired, anymore. Remember, you are still human.
Best life hack: Always challenge yourself. You’ll never know your threshold unless you try.
I know my struggles in my undergrad are nothing compared to what I am about to face in Law but I am keeping the experiences and lessons UP gave me. Studying in UP is not just about being mayabang, it is about learning to challenge your pre-existing principles, your intellectual capacity as well as your alcohol tolerance and finally, your own self.
My journey in UP has now ended but the lifelong lessons will remain in my notebooks haha!
