おニューのかさぶた、ペットに食われろ / Your New Scabby Pet, Will Be Flea-Ridden
Lyrics, Music: Uramanbou
Illustration: Manbou no Ane
http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm13749609
赤信号 停車 待ちぼうけ 広い歩道 開けた視界 静かな風
I wait patiently at a red light crosswalk as a gentle breeze blows, with a clear view of the spacious, open sidewalk
後方 衝撃 揺らぐ 全身
Someone hits me from behind, nearly knocking me off my bike
突っ込んできたのは一台の自転車
The offender was someone else on a bicycle
謝りもせずどこに行く
Without a word of apology, they ride off somewhere
後輪がグニャグニャになっちゃったぞ
I hope your rear wheel becomes flabby
ペダルに足乗せ体重かけてもさっぱりきっぱり動きゃしないよ
So that it becomes simply impossible to ride or turn the pedals
もう動かない俺の愛車 その名は「安全弁 ゆる男」
My own beloved, now inoperable wheels are named "Safety Valve Shaking Man"
名前も知らぬ犯人よ 覚悟しろ
Unnamed criminal, prepare yourself
今からお前に48の呪いをかけてやるぞ
I will now lay 48 curses upon you
1.上下の歯が絶滅する夢見ろ
1. You will dream of your top and bottom teeth being destroyed
2.お気に入りの服の袖が千切れろ
2. The sleeves of your favorite clothes will be ripped off
3.携帯が通話中に爆ぜろ
3. Your cell phone will explode during a phone call
4.かつおぶしが歯ブラシにからまれ
4. You will find bits of bonito tuna stuck in your toothbrush
5.想定したより深く爪切れろ
5. You will get a hangnail that's deeper than you first thought
6.大事な書類で印鑑違えろ
6. Your important documents will be mislabeled
7.ものすごく早く眉が伸びろ
7. Your eyebrows will grow staggeringly fast
8.往路も復路も切符をなくせ
8. You will lose the tickets for both your vacation trip and the return
9.「ハブ対マングース対お前」やれ
9. You will find yourself between a pit viper and a mongoose
10.思春期平均より長く続け
10. Puberty will continue for much longer than average
11.アスパラの筋を噛みあぐねろ
11. Eating asparagus will become physically unbearable
12.押入れの奥でなめこが育て
12. You will find mushrooms growing inside your closet
13.ドロップス白いのばっかりが出ろ
13. You’ll only ever get white Sakuma Drops
14.ウィルスソフトに写真を消されろ
14. A virus program will delete all of your photos
15.履歴書最後で書き損じろ
15. A horrible error will be at the end of your resume
16.おばあちゃんに背筋で敗れろ
16. Your grandmother will break her back
損傷は甚大 特殊なパーツが壊れて問屋に発注
The damage is serious, so I order special parts from a crumbling wholesale store
修理費は8000円 所要日数は10日間
The repair cost is Y8000, and takes ten days
犯人の手掛かりもなく途方に暮れるのみ
With no name or trace of the offender, I'm at nothing but a loss
憎しみだけがつのる日々を
Only my hatred grows day by day
粘着系男子の本気を見せてやる
I'll show you the seriousness of a clingy boy
小さな嫌なことが毎日とめどなく溢れだせ
I will be endlessly spilling petty curses, every single day
17.男子中学生に論破されろ
17. You will lose an argument with a middle school boy
18.版画の授業彫刻刀忘れろ
18. You will lose the chisel you need for woodshop class
19.落とし蓋のサイズ間違えろ
19. You'll get the wrong size lid for your cooking pot
20.意図しない形で下ネタ言え
20. Any meaningless thing will be taken as innuendo
21.素足で思いっきりビー玉踏め
21. You will use all your resolution to walk barefoot on cold marble
22.加齢に引き連れて枕が臭え
22. Aging through the years will be marked by your repugnant smell
23.バナナの種を全力で噛め
23. You will use all of your power to bite a banana person
24.耳の後ろのニキビが潰れろ
24. The pimple in the crease behind your ear will burst
25.ベルトのバックル突然吹っ飛べ
25. Your belt buckle will suddenly snap off
26.うっかり利き手と逆のハサミ買え
26. You will accidentally buy the wrong handed scissors
27.のりとリップを間違えて塗れ
27. You’ll mix up your chapstick and a glue stick and make a mess
28.近所の子供に忌み嫌われろ
28. The neighborhood kids will become intolerable
29.隣の席にバカップルが座れ
29. A pair of soppy lovebirds will sit next to you
30.交通費が思ったよりもかさめ
30. Your travel expenses will increase more than you thought
31.やけに水っぽい米が炊けろ
31. Your cooked rice will be extremely watery
32.再放送すら見逃せ
32. You will only just miss a good rerun of your favorite show
33.おみやげ代計算に入れ忘れろ
33. You’ll forget to factor in the cost of expenses
34.特殊な楽器をプレゼントされろ
34. You will receive an absurd musical instrument as a gift
35.地域のゴミ袋値上げしろ
35. There will be a price hike on the cost of trash bags in your area
36.必死にねり消し作って無くせ
36. You’ll become desperate when you don't have a kneaded eraser to use
37.ちっちゃいタオルで全身拭いてろ
37. You will only have a tiny hand towel to dry off your whole body
38.大盛り頼んでちょっとだけ残せ
38. You will order a large serving but only get leftovers
39.肩パット職人に好かれろ
39. You will be well-liked by workers with shoulder pads
40.友達がみんなモヒカンになれ
40. All of your friends will get mohawk haircuts
41.J2の試合のチケット当たれ
41. You will win a ticket to a J2 game
42.なぜか股関節が亜脱臼しろ
42. You will somehow displace your hip joint
43.海外でMAD素材になれ
43. You will become material for MAD videos overseas
44.一晩中屋根のシミにビビれ
44. A smudge on the roof will keep you awake and apprehensive all night
45.クリームパンが甘過ぎて落ち込め
45. You’ll become depressed when you eat a cream bun that's far too sweet
46.おニューのかさぶたペットに食われろ
46. Your brand new scabby pet will be flea-ridden
47.ボタン型の電池飲み込め
47. You will swallow a button cell battery
48.家の裏でマンボウが死んでろ
48. A sunfish will die at the back of your house
