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They way Nathan delivers this line cracks me up every time

#metalocalypse #nathan explosion #dethklok #urine?#you want our urine?#you're a sick doctor #nathan explosion you are the funniest man alive i love you

Night was falling -- that much was evident by the lack of sunlight beaming through the skylights (look at Ronni using his basic observational skills!) -- and the pair was exhausted. Well, Ronni was, to say the least. He and Leon had burst into their lair -- a bathroom on the second floor -- and Ronni had nearly collapsed.

His axe clattered to the floor and he bent over one of the sinks. His eyes were on fire and he felt like he was going to gag. The pain from the slash across his chest was becoming almost too much to bare; but, like a true man, he managed to at least make his way back to the bathroom. “Shit, shit, shit, shit--” he kept repeating as he tried to thin trickle of water to wash away the sweat and grime that had caked up under his shirt. Truly, it was a sight to behold -- Ronni of District Four was kneeling atop the counter that housed the sinks as he tried to flick water onto his bare chest.

He didn’t even notice when Leon had gone. The hours flew by and, eventually, Ronni was left sighing as he tied the remnants of his white t-shirt (torn to shreds for some sort of clean fabric) across his chest. His denim jacket, which hung loosely off one shoulder, accompanied him as he slid to the ground and allowed himself to finally savor the fact that (finally) he had gotten a kill. He did a silent little fist pump for himself and himself only -- things were just starting to get good, baby.

... (time jump of about 30 minutes) ...

Ronni was currently engaged in a healthy pissing competition with himself and one of the toilets in the stall when he heard the door open. The possibility of it being another tribute didn’t even cross his mind. As of now, Ronni had once again become complacent with his strength and rank in the competition. This, thus, allowed for renewed cockiness confidence. “Leon! Sup, man? You were gone for so long,” he said from within his stall as the stream of urine continued to flow.

// closed starter for @castanheirx

#c: ronni #;; ronni x leon ;;#;; leonni ;;#;; day three ;;#post goldies death and nadyas death btw #tw: pee #urine?#tw: urine #tw: ronni #tw: handsome men #tw: bodily fluids

Hose Leg

We’ve got another lovely advertisement that I’ll be reviewing for you all today, and it’s pretty incredible. Or at the very least it’s something that will make you want to either vomit or keep coming back to read my blog to find more fun videos like this one. And yes, this is a shameless plug. An advertisement for a blog that reviews advertisements (among other weird videos) within an advertisement reviewing blog post.

Our feature video has been brought to us by hecktorhunky, a magical man who has made five other videos besides this one all the way back in 2007. This guy stopped making videos, sadly enough, and I’m hoping that this blog post will bring him out of retirement. We need more people like hecktor to make videos because, as you’re about to see/read, this dude is pretty amazing.

The video opens with a shot of a man without his left leg standing in front of a house in a nice neighborhood. This would be totally normal if only he didn’t have a hose instead of a left leg and said hose wasn’t expelling some sort of yellow liquid that may or may not be the world’s brightest urine. The most terrifying thing about this man is that he chooses to wear a sandal with a sock on his remaining foot. Shame on you, man. That’s just awful.

A boy rides up to the man on his bicycle and stops, getting off of it and calling out to him. The man lifts up his hose and sprays his urine with a question mark at the boy, who is holding a plastic cup with the appropriate phrase “WTF?” on it. The urine with a question mark gets all over the kid and fills up the cup, making me want to never go near an item of food ever again while the man sort of smiles as if this is a good time. Which it is not. The kid drinks his urine with a question mark and grins because apparently that kind of thing is delicious? Eughhh.

My favorite moment of this video is right at the end when we flash back to the man, who suddenly is eating a chicken leg. He just takes a bite from it in the way that you would if you hated being alive while a logo that says “Mac’s” with an owl next to it appears at the bottom of the screen. I did some sleuthing and discovered that Mac’s is a convenience store chain in Canada. Do they sell this kind of chicken? Are they known Canada-wide for their urine with a question mark? Is this why they have almost six thousand locations all across Canada?Man, and they say that Americans are weird.

If you’d like to watch this video for yourself, here’s the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5Ohh8Tu8iY