#utarihastra

[utarihastra]

I Found Me

I have been lost for a couple of years

Until I met ya, just last week

Previously

I just followed lives

I didn’t have a purpose last year

I didn’t have my calling

I was lost

I was also hit by the storm

Tears and disappointment were things that I was familiar with

I felt I was not enough - Failure haunted me

And here I am

Smiling and crying at the same time

Been a week - I am reclaiming myself

The happy and energetic me is back

My heart is full My brain is also full, but with thousands of ideas - the positive ones

Even I came back to my family

I broke the ice because of you

You helped me gain my spirit

Thank you. I am happy but also sad, cause it doesn’t come from my expectation

[utarihastra]

Perfect Picture of Parents and Partner is not A Myth

If our parents don’t like our partner, we have to leave one is the topic that I am going to write. Honestly, when I heard the topic from my teacher, I had no idea what to write because I really could not relate to that topic. I am so grateful that I never experience the drama between parents and partner. Even though my parents are boomers, they are pretty open-minded. They get it that it is my choice to be with someone.

That situation above did not come easily. There were blood, sweat, and tears which spiced up my relationship with my parents until they become open-minded. This situation brings a perfect picture of parents and partner in my life, so I would share some tips that maybe could work on your situation. First, put in on your mind that getting our parents approval in our relationship is a long-way journey. You should start building a good relationship with them. Hear them out and try to understand what they really want. If you agree with them, say it loud then thank them for telling you what they want. If you do not agree with them, try to talk to them as an adult. It means you may not put too much emotion into it. Do not yell at them but tell them calmly the reasonable reason why you do not agree with them. No one promises that convincing your parents will be easy, 

but as long as you are sure about your choices say it, proof it to them, and be responsible for your choices. 

It could happen in every situation of your life, so by doing it you can get your parents’ trust and they will let you choose whatever you want.

Building the trust between you and your parents can be a free pass in your relationship with your significant other. If you are gaining their trust, they will always believe in your choice. They know that you know what the best for you and you’ll be responsible for all the consequences,

but beforehand don’t forget to be aware of the positive and negative sides of it. 

Believe me, they won’t blame you if they trust you. OMG, I am writing too much. The point is, if you have situation that your parents don’t like your partner, you don’t need to leave them as long as you are sure with your feelings and your partner is worth to the fight. You just need to tell your parents why you love your partner and hear them out the reason behind their feeling. It will be different if you are not sure about your feelings toward your partner. Once your parents said they don’t like your S.O. you will be in confusion. If this situation confuses you just leave your S.O. xoxo

[utarihastra]

Can Expectations Kill? No, It Can’t

Since when I was a kid, I have been living in people’s expectations of me. Bluntly honestly, I get used to with other’s expectations of me. Those expectations come because my society has been seeing how my family is.  My grandfather was a lecturer, and my grandmother was a teacher. Besides that, my parents graduated from reputable schools in Yogyakarta.  I could say the top two public schools in Yogyakarta.

When I was in elementary school, people expected me to continue my study in certain public schools. Fortunately, that time I got accepted to that school, but no one congratulated me. At that time, people only said “it is supposed to be like that because her parents are smart.” Based on that situation, If I had not got accepted to a reputable school, they would have said “How could it happen? Her parents are smart, but she didn’t get accepted.” It becomes the pressure for me, but it doesn’t kill me.

Those expectations don’t stop in me. It also happens to my brother, but I can proudly say that we can handle those situations. If expectations kill, I wouldn’t be here doing this writing. So, I am grateful for those people’s expectations of me. If they had not had their expectations, I would not be who I am right now.

Expectations can be pressure, but they can’t kill us.

So, this is a new year - 2022, would you still want to live in people expectation? 

[utarihastra]

Defining What Success is for Me

What comes to mind when you hear the word “success”? What is success to you? Is it the stage when you have a certain amount of money? Or do you have other definitions of what success is? Defining success is not a piece of cake for some people, including me. If you asked me what success is to me, I wouldn’t have enough confidence to tell people the definition of it (from my perspective). So, through this writing I would help you to define success for yourself. I did some digging on the Internet and read some articles from various websites, including Southern New Hampshire University and LinkedIn blogs.

To begin defining success in life based on Eugene Adu-Wusu’s writing, we need to make ourselves aware of what accomplishment, success, and prosperity in general mean to our lives. He wrote that

“Some might define success as having luxurious cars and a huge mansion, whereas others consider a life full of joy and happiness with their family as the true meaning of success. Once you have figured out what is important for you personally you are able to focus on your visions and goals”. 

Based on his wisdom, we should really look into our hearts and see what we really want to achieve in our lives. Is it wealth? Is it happiness? Is it fame? To guide you, you should know the theoretical definition of success.

According to Cambridge dictionary, success is the achieving of the result that we wanted or hoped. So, when you are hoping to have a place called home and to believe that you can do everything you want, then you can achieve it – that is success. Based on that definition, I would say success is remembering to balance work and personal life. That I can learn something new each day is also a success to me. And yaa, that is success to me (at least until now).

[utarihastra]

We will Never Know that Our Choice is The Best Choice If We Don’t Try

Reading the title reminds me of one of Adele’s songs, entitled One and Only. The lyric says, “I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before, every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all, you’ll never know if you never try”. In some ways, it motivates me to try something new in my life. It begins in the beginning of 2021; I joined the Apple Developer Academy and I tried something different from my educational background. I am not going to lie that it scared me a lot, but you know we will never know it is the best choice if we don’t try.

After joining the academy, I know becoming a tech developer and designer are not the best for me. I got clarity that I still want to pursue my career as an HR. I found that answer after trying several things in my life. So, if people don’t try anything in their life, they won’t know what the best for them is, because hands-on experience is the best way to judge whether something is suitable for you or not. Just like the saying goes, learning by doing.

By doing something and trying many things you will gain a lot of knowledge and experience. You will get many different perspectives and they will widen your mind. 

If you are wondering, your choice is the best for you or not, just don’t be afraid to try it because you’ll never know the answer if you never try. 

At the end it will be easier for you to decide whether something is the best for you or not.

P.S: I made this to celebrate my graduation at Apple Developer Academy ✨