#utsukushiikare

[itsbiaslog8]

the kiyoi demon took over yusei🫢

[excessivelyobssesed]

Utsukushii Kare 2 is dropping in 7 days and i'm both so ready and not ready at all

[thehotspurs]

have never talked about this on my blog before so will leave my rambling after the break for those who follow for my f1/football content but the final episode of utsukushii kare came out today and oh lord do i need to RANT

holy fucking shit. it’s been a LOOOOONG time since i’ve watched a tv show thats genuinely got me hooked like that 😵‍💫 literally from the second i saw the trailer i knew it was gonna be great and then the first episode just exceeded my expectations even more than i ever thought possible

i knew from the trailer it was going to be my type of vibe just purely from the kind of morally grey relationship between a social outcast and the most popular guy in school (who lowkey bullies him but at the same time never lets anyone else bully him???) i won’t try cover myself in glory ok? i’m predictable. i like angst and misunderstandings and hurt/comfort and those relationships ALWAYS have those things in abundance so i was SOOO excited for it. but jesus the direction they went with that trope was insane

having hira so obvious in his affections for kiyoi was predictable enough, maybe a tad unpredictable was HOW obvious he was, but it was almost endearing how completely and utterly whipped he was for this boy. how he wanted to worship kiyoi like a god because he felt it was only right. the thought of leaving him be never crossed his mind, no matter how many times kiyoi told him he was “gross” or a “stalker” and no matter how many times hira himself thought nothing would ever happen between him and kiyoi - he never stopped following him and buying him ginger ale and taking photos of him. it was almost as though deep down he knew him and kiyoi were equals, and that kiyoi was slowly but surely falling for him too, but his mind just wouldn’t let him consider the possibility.

i could probably write a thesis on the intricacies of kiyoi’s character but i’ll try keep it brief 😭 what was an amazing breath of fresh air for the trope was how the popular guy didn’t have this massive ego - kiyoi, whilst he did abuse his power over hira somewhat, protected hira from his friends when they tried to push him around, gave hira the change to buy himself a drink if he wanted and let hira take photos to his hearts content. the end of the series really got into kiyoi’s vulnerabilities and shit his final insistence that he is “just a man” and not a god tore me open. he said he wanted to be an idol so people could worship him and pay attention to him, but deep down i don’t think he ever wanted that. he assumed emotional warmth would come from being idolised by millions, when in reality being idolised was far from what he wanted, he just wanted someone to care. care for him for more than his looks or social status, but instead for who he really was.

kiyoi’s fascination with hira developed so naturally and i’d have loved to have seen it drawn out a bit more (though with the presumably limited episode time i understand) but the way they still managed to show his gradually changing feelings from a first general confusion as to why hira was acting that way to the oh moment where he realised this boy was sticking around. he was sticking by his side when others wouldn’t and standing up for him when he needed and THAT, that was what he wanted. he didn’t want anyone else, he wanted this strange boy with a stutter who looked at kiyoi like the stars shined in his eyes. he wanted him so bad he kissed him against all better judgement. his first kiss. “it was so intense. just like him.” he was hooked. hooked onto hira’s obsession that he thought he wanted so desperately at that time

and then as quick as a flash, they ran out of time. kiyoi had only just come to terms with how he felt about hira and then they parted ways. whilst kiyoi began to feel everything, hira forced himself to feel nothing at all. he found someone in koyama who was a genuine friend, someone who understood him and didn’t see him as a weirdo or social outcast, but as a human being. without this, there would’ve been no chance of hira ever coming to terms with the fact he was worthy of kiyoi’s affection. and having kiyoi so confused and jealous and unsure of everything was just AHHHH so good!!! after all the buildup of him being this untouchable creature way above anyone else through hira’s eyes, seeing him actually being so vulnerable and shaken by his feelings for hira felt so real.

plz do not ever get me started on kiyoi’s monologue about it all. because i will NEVER stop. usually with this outcast/popular boy dynamic, the outcast is always seen as the victim of sorts and never does anything wrong in the buildup to the relationship but OH BOY did this show flip that on its head!! YES hira was given a hard time by kiyoi, but being able to see the situation from kiyoi’s point of view made you realise, hira wasn’t completely blameless. in fact, he contributed as much to their failure to communicate!!!!!!!! kiyoi sums it up perfectly in one of the best lines of tv i’ve ever heard: “i doubt he would believe that i’m thinking about him. in a way, he was just as selfish as me, and he didn’t even realise it. he never cared to know how i felt.” hira was so blind-sighted by his obsession with calling kiyoi a god amongst men, he failed to acknowledge kiyoi was just like him - a boy with problems and grievances that leaves them with little self worth. with hira that lack of self worth manifested in withdrawing himself whilst in kiyoi it manifested in being greedy for devotion and popularity. they were never dissimilar.

the confession scene has been replaying in my head ever since i finished and for GOOD. REASON. firstly i just wanna say how amazing the actors are because WOW it felt so real???? kiyoi in particular seemed so genuinely distraught and desperate and hira so dumbfounded that someone was confessing to him. the shift in kiyoi’s emotions when hira asked if he could touch him was heart wrenching, his face brightens instantly but he hesitates still, unwilling for them to fall back into the obsession he once thought he wanted but grew to realise he never did. he didn’t want to be placed on a pedestal and worshipped - he realised that was far too lonely. he wanted someone to treat him like an equal, and so did hira.

the bike scene was the 2 minutes of fluff we needed after almost 6 full episodes of angst, and i’m not lying when i say i SOBBED. their smiles just tore me apart because THEY FINALLY GOT WHAT THEY WANTED!!! THEY WERE FINALLY HAPPY AND HAD EACH OTHER and it shows!!! hira’s giddy smile when kiyoi says “why did i fall in love with someone as disgusting as you?” and kiyoi burying his head into hira’s back with a disgustingly lovesick expression was all i needed. i’m as close to content as i possible could be considering i wish will all my heart that there was more 🥲

aside from the plot the aesthetic of the show just gripped me from the start in a way that i’ve never had before which was honestly such a nice change! the camerawork was phenomenal and the lighting and colouring was so so so so SO beautiful it was honestly a masterpiece. props to the acting as well cuz it was amazingggg it all felt so real and genuine and ahhhh im in love

that’s all! <3

[aliceisathome]

Utsukushii Kare

I’m still thinking about My Beautiful Man.  Specifically I’m thinking about the camera laying in the tousled bedclothes in the final scene...

[itsbiaslog8]

their countdown clips are the cutest💕

[itsbiaslog8]

some moments from today’s IG lives [21.02.23] 📸

[itsbiaslog8]

“𝐒𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐮𝐧𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞, 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭?”

𝑇𝘩𝑖𝑠. I think in Hira’s mind everything hurt less if he make himself believe Kiyoi never loved him to begin with. After all everyone of us at least once thought that everything was better in our “imagination”.

But he’s not doing it on purpose, he just doesn’t know differently. He doesn’t know what it takes to be treated as an equal since everyone in his life always treated him as lower. Or worse. They always left eventually.

I wish Hira could learn to love himself as much as he loves Kiyoi and he could see how beautiful and capable he is in Kiyoi’s eyes and that he cares and accepts him as he is, with his weird little obsessions or his infinite ways to take care of their relationship and their nest.

I know he will but this process will be difficult and it will hurt. Both of them. But they came such a long way already, together. And i want to believe they’ll do it again because their love is stronger.

[itsbiaslog8]

Kiyoi through Hira’s eyes (and lens)✨