⠀ ׄ 𓈒 ⏜ ⠀wׅɦat hαve you donᧉ֗ ࣭ 𑄹 𓈒 ֺ
utowin x gn!reader ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ cw. angst with happy ending, misunderstandings.
you always thought that dating utowin would be the easiest thing in your life. he was everything you once had dreamed of : caring, funny, serious when it was required, or acting like an idiot some other time, but you still loved him nonetheless.
for as long as it lasted, loving him was a bliss, really.
until it wasn’t rainbows and sunshine anymore.
as a knight moralis, he was meant to execute whatever mission was thrown in his face, you knew that, and yet, you couldn’t bear the fact that, sometimes, he was assigned to harsher missions that tended to go against your own beliefs as a simple witch ─ a civilian of some sort in this world.
at some point, it had caused a lot of fights between the two of you.
because why was he so open about those types of missions when he didn’t talk about the simpler ones ?
why couldn’t he understand your point of view, even just for a second ?
was it really okay to want to erase the memories of a single child that discovered the secrets of how magic really works ?
or to wipe off witches’ memories who solely wanted to make their life easier by using harmless forbidden spells, like medical ones ?
you came to realise that it wasn’t as easy to love him as you had thought.
just because of his job, and how he believed he was doing the right thing.
but the last fight you guys had ? definitely the worst one.
for days on end, you struggled to face your boyfriend. you wouldn’t meet his gaze when you crossed paths in the great hall, you moved your stuff elsewhere ─ you did everything to stay away from him until he understood that his job wasn’t fair at all.
it wouldn’t be easy and poor guy was desperate.
he hadn’t felt so lonely since.. no, he couldn’t remember the last time he felt alone.
waking up to cold sheets, a lifeless home wasn’t what he expected when he was so used to your warmth and love. it was as if you disappeared, vanished into dust, leaving nothing but sweet memories.
who could he blame but himself ?
he knew he had messed everything up the moment he saw your face crumble, the way your lips pressed together or how you hugged yourself. he couldn’t get the image of you hurting out of his brain.
it made him sick.
he had to do something, do whatever it takes to win your heart back. he came to realise that his loyalty laid more with you than his work ─ he was definitely ready to risk it all, even if it meant it had to take his whole life.
but how would he do this ?
were you ready to see him again ?
to listen to him ?
suddenly he wasn’t as confident as he thought he was.
“you really should talk to them. you’re being inefficient.” the harsh words of eathies came to his ears like shards of glass cutting through his skin.
“i know that, i don’t need a reminder.” his colleague was right though, but once again, he had no ideas on how to proceed.
until days turned into weeks, and all he managed to do was catch glimpses of you here and there. he tried to build up the courage to talk to you, but how could he when you looked so peaceful ? no, he couldn’t lose hope, he didn’t even try anyway.
so when you spotted him standing in the middle of the street as stiff as a broom, you genuinely thought that maybe the time had finally come where he would come to terms with the harsh truths of his work line. and slowly, but surely, he approached you. his face betrayed the nervousness he felt, the way his palms were sweating ─ but anyway, i’ll spare you the details.
“hey.. ho─how have you been ?” one his hand scratched the back of his head as he tried to force a smile, only to make it look like a grimace.
“it has been good, ‘nd you ?” the nonchalance in your voice made him even more nervous.
“yea─yeah ! me too.. i guess.”
you raised an eyebrow, expecting something, anything, more. and when nothing came ? it was better to take the matter in your own hands.
“what about your duties ? haven’t changed ?”
“no.. not really. but.. i try to be less involved in these matters, you know ?” you could see just how much his nervousness increased, how he tried to dodge the initial question. it seemed that you were wrong.
“well, that’s good for you.” a sigh came through your lips as you began to walk away, you didn’t expect much from him but you were still upset nonetheless.
panic surged in the pit of his stomach as soon as you turned your back on him. “wa─wait !” the sudden grip around your wrist wasn’t harsh enough to leave a bruise, but still strong enough to make you stumble, surprised by the unexpected move. “i.. look, i’m so sorry. i know it’s not enough but believe me, i really am.. what we’re doing, our duties shouldn’t have been my priority but you. i also know that we are wrong, we shouldn’t act like we do but it’s the rules.. we can’t overstep it. i believe that someday it will be different, easier for everyone. but for now ? i can’t do anything more.. so please.. come back to me. i’ll try to be better.” he was on the verge of kneeling in front of you just so you could witness just how much he was a miserable mess without you.
and you ? your face was unreadable, leaving him hopeless.
until you spoke up, “i’ll consider it. but you’ll have to fight really hard to win my trust again.” and the way his face brighten like a puppy made your heart fluttered, even more when you felt his arms snake around your middle to lift you slightly up.
“you don’t know how much it means to me, i missed you.” he beamed before leaving the softest kiss over the crown opf your head.
yeah, you definitely had missed him too.
finally posting this request !⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀©66rockid
