#uuma

[deceel]

Second Revenge goes to~ @chicxy-madness !!

[monomon--the--teacher]

What if nothing gets better? What if the King never recovers, what if Lurien is trapped by the Radiance forever? Even if those problems are solved, won’t more just take their place, worse and worse, again and again and again? What if there’s nothing you can do? Caught in a current, struggling futilely to break free, dragged on and on, exhausted and helpless?

Hey, chump, Uuma #281 here. Look, that "ask" you just sent? Hilarious. Seriously, we can't stop laughing. Im reading it out to my pals, and we think it is so funny, we can't wait to meet you.

Are you available right now? It'll just be a minute, I can guarantee you that. We just want to hear that again. Laugh some more. What do you say?

You don't actually have to say a thing. Don't move. We're reaching your location.

[manglednatalia]

This post is for myself but if anyone finds it helpful I'd be glad.

So, contestants of Jūni Taisen have "real" names and I decided to make a list gathering them all

Rat/Nezumi - Tsugiyoshi Sumino

Ox/Ushii - Eiji Kashii

Tiger/Tora - Kanae Aira

Rabbit/Usagi - [Unknown]

Dragon/Older Brother - Nagayuki Tsumita

Snake/Younger Brother - Takeyasu Tsumita

Horse/Ūma - Yoshimi Sōma

Sheep/Hitsujī - Sumihiko Tsujīe

Monkey/Sharyū - Misaki Yūki

Chicken/Niwatori - Ryōka Niwa

Dog/Dotsuku - Michio Tsukui

Boar/Inōnoshishi - Toshiko Inō

[eijikashii]

sharyu: imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life

uuma: it would be nice to get my sense of purpose back

ushii: oh wow my childhood innocence! thank you for finding this

nezumi: my will to live! i haven’t seen this in 15 years!

niwatori: i knew i lost that potential somewhere!

usagi: mental stability, my old friend!

sharyu: guys could you lighten up a little

[gale-dragon-writer]

Birthday Surprised

Originally Made for 05/05

~}i{~

Note: The 12 Warriors work for the Juuni Taisen.

~}i{~

"GUYS! GUYS! GUYS! GUYS!" Niwatori shouted happily as she stormed into the living room, where 10 of the 11 other Juuni Taisen Warriors were just hanging out.

Ushii was sitting on the couch reading a book. Sharyū and Nezumi were playing chess. The Twins were cleaning their weapons. Uuma was making a Ship-in-a-Bottle. Hitsuji was playing a game on his phone. Usagi was playing with a couple of bunnies that he, erm, "Found" recently. Tora was painting her nails. Inounoshishi was texting her lovers.

"Guess what I found out!!!" Niwatori said excitedly, jumping up and down as she did.

Ushii kept his eyes on his book when he asked, "Did you hack into the Juuni Taisen's data-bank again?"

This caused Niwatori to stop jumping, a guilty look appeared on her face, and she then said meekly, "Umm, well... Kinda... *Now in back in an excited tone*. But that's not the point! I found out when Dotsuku's birthday is!"

This got everyone's attention.

Hitsuji paused his game before looking up and asked, "You hacked into the data-bank for that? You know Dotsuku's going spike your meal with some nasty poison when he finds out before the next time it's his turn to cook."

Niwatori's feathers furrowed when she said, "Oh come on, don't tell me you guys aren't itching to know when Dotsuku's birthday is?"

Ushii closed his book, stood up, and started walking out.

Tora watched the Ox leave when she asked, "Where ya goin'?"

Ushii glanced at the Tiger and stated, "Dotsuku has made it obviously clear that he wishes to keep his personal life separate from us, and I respect him enough to not to pry. Therefore, I am removing myself from the immediate location to respect his wishes." With that, the Warrior of the Ox walked out of the living room.

Sharyū moved a piece when she said, "I kind of agree with Ushii-san. If Dotsuku-san doesn't want us to know anything about his personal life, just let it be. He'll tell us when he's ready or wants to. If you're planning on doing what I think your planning on doing, making a surprise birthday party for him is going to be a bad idea. Check."

Nezumi looked at the board before saying, "Besides, aren't we trying to get Dotsuku-san to open up to us? Pretty sure a surprise birthday party will undo all the progress that we're already made. *Moves his Knight* Check."

Tora then vocalized, "They got a point, ya'know."

Niwatori puffed her cheeks when she said, "Spoilsports."

~}i{~

Later... Niwatori found her conspirators for the planning of Dotsuku's surprise birthday party. The Twins, Inounoshishi, and Usagi (the Warrior of the Rabbit was more interested in being a closer friend to Dotsuku than the party) agreed to help the Warrior of the Chicken. While Uuma did wish them luck on their project, he didn't want to get involved planning. Dotsuku was a good cook and the Warrior of the Horse wanted to be able to eat what the Warrior of the Dog made without worrying about poison.

Now they had to do the most challenging part... Since Duodecuple found out that Niwatori hacked the Juuni Taisen's data-bank, he somehow managed to reset the entire system so she couldn't re-enter it. Therefore, they needed to get information from the source... Meaning they had to talk to Dotsuku...

How are they going to get the information they needed without tipping the Warrior of the Dog off about their plan?

~}i{ The Next Day }i{~

Dotsuku blew on his freshly brewed cup of coffee before taking a small sip to test the temperature. Right now he was just waiting for his next job assignment from the Juuni Taisen so he was staying at the building complex that the other lived at until then.

'I really need to figure out where Uuma gets the coffee,' Dotsuku thought as he sat at the table in the kitchen while slowly sipping the hot drink in hand.

While the Warrior of the Horse didn't talk much, he somehow knew where all the good stuff were located in the city.

Dotsuku set his coffee down as he picked up a newspaper. Before he could open the paper, the Warrior of the Dog smelt something. He groaned softly before saying loudly, "No, I will not go on a date with you and No, I am not interested in helping you with any of your lovers."

Inounoshishi was standing behind the Dog Warrior in the doorway.

She walked in as she asked, "Goodness, how do you always know that it's me?"

Dotsuku opened the newspaper when he said, "You're the only one here who has the audacity to spray way too much perfume on your person." He was NOT going to get into an argument over how awful the perfume smelled because the Dog Warrior wanted to enjoy a nice cup of coffee and read the paper for a bit before his next mission.

Inounoshishi gave a proud smile as she sat across from the Warrior of the Dog and asked, "Say Dotsuku, what do you get a guy who has a big dog?"

Dotsuku growled as he held the newspaper higher to block his view of the Warrior of the Boar and snapped, "I believe you were told about NOT using sexual innuendoes inside the building or around the kid and Rabbit."

Inounoshishi huffed in annoyance before saying, "Why did you assume that I was using innuendoes?"

"Cus you usually do," Dotsuku stated plainly in an annoyed tone. He just wanted to relax and read.

Inounoshishi scoffed and stated, "Okay, okay, I usually do, but I wasn't this time. I met this hot guy and he has this big dog that he adores and I figured that the best way to get him to join my herm is through his dog."

Dotsuku raised a brow when he looked over the newspaper and asked, "And you're asking me about this because?"

With a smug smile, Inounoshishi said, "Well, you ARE a big dog, are you not?"

Dotsuku scowled as buried his nose back into the newspaper and snapped, "Then ask a dog expert. I only have canine attributes, NOT the interest of them, Pigs-for-Brains." He took a sip of his coffee, trying to ignore the Boar's pestering questions about dogs.

Lucky for the Warrior of the Dog, his mission came in as soon as he finished his coffee and he was glad to leave. 'What the hell is wrong with that Pig?' Dotsuku thought as he placed his coffee cup in the sink and left. The Warrior of the Dog sighed and thought, 'On second thought, I think I'm better of not knowing.'

Inounoshishi 'tisk' as soon as Dotsuku was out of hearing range. She didn't get anything she could use for the party.

~}i{ Niwatori's Turn }i{~

"Neh, neh, Dotsuku-san~," Niwatori chined cheerfully, making sure to get the Warrior of the Dog's attention as they headed towards the Juuni Taisen Building.

"What could you possibly want now Birdbrain?" Dotsuku snapped in an annoyed tone. They'd just finished their mission and the Warrior of the Dog really wanted to grab a cup of coffee and relax a bit before heading home. Dotsuku really didn't want to deal with the noisy bird right now.

That was when Niwatori sprung her plan into action, "Neh, neh, I won a free cake cupon at a nice bakery."

Dotsuku rolled his eyes, kept his back to the Chicken Warrior, and said in an unamused tone, "Good for you."

Niwatori puffed her cheeks before saying, "I can choose any kind of cake I want, but I can only pick one flavor."

Dotsuku growled and said, not really changing his tone, "So?"

"Listen first!" Niwatori whined a bit before saying, "I can only pick one flavor, but I can't choose just one flavor, they're all so~ yummy in their own way~." The Chicken Warrior made sure to add a smidge of drama to make it seem like she was being her usual self.

"Again, so?" Dotsuku said without much care.

Niwatori puffed her cheeks again before saying, "Oh, come on. They're all delicious, I can't just pick one."

Dotsuku growled a bit before turning towards the Warrior of the Chicken and saying, "Are you admitting that you're incapable of making personal choices?"

Niwatori turn pink before saying, "Th-that's not true! I just happen to like a lot of flavors! That's all!"

Dotsuku rolled his eyes as he turned away and stated sarcastically, "Sure, sure."

Niwatori now went with her plan B. She smirked when she said, "Come on, there are so many good things about a lot of flavors. Vanilla may be simple but it is amazingly good when it is used right. Strawberry is deliciously sweet and refreshing. Chocolate is just a wonderful flavor that is beloved by the entire world. Red velvet just melts in your mouth with each bite. Cookies and cream is a delicious crunchy bite with each mouthful. Oooh, and then there is the yummy flavor of mochi!"

Dotsuku rolled his eyes again when he said, "That's nice, now just pick one and you can get your cake."

Niwatori puffed her cheeks, yet again, before she said, "Oh, come on, how can I pick just one out of all these amazing flavors? Besides, I was thinking about getting a nice big cake to share~." She was hoping to at least get him to slip up and drop a hint about his favorite flavor.

Finally seeing the point where he was to split with the Chicken Warrior, Dotsuku said as he waved her off without turning towards her, "That's your problem. And asked Tweedledee and Tweedledum to have some of the cake with you, I doubt they'll say no." With that, he left without ever giving Niwatori a glance.

The Warrior of the Chicken really puffed her cheeks out in annoyance this time. She didn't get any information she could use for the surprise birthday party.

~}i{ Dragon and Snake's Turn }i{~

"Yo, Puppy!" Dragon shouted through the Juuni Taisen living building the moment he saw the Warrior of the Dog.

Dotsuku growled in annoyance before taking a sip of his coffee. That was when Dragon and Snake plopped themselves in a pair of chairs across the table from the Dog Warrior. 'Why are all the annoyances pestering me today?' Dotsuku wondered to himself.

Snake slid a questionnaire towards Dotsuku. The Warrior of the Dog glanced at the piece of paper, raised a brow, and looked at the Twins. That was when Dragon stated in a matter-of-fact tone, "Some rich dude is having a trivia contest with a sweet grand prize."

Snake then added, "You're smart, right? Something like this should be easy for you."

Dotsuku narrowed his eyes at the twins and asked, "And you two aren't doing this yourself, because?"

The twins then said in unison, "The trivia isn't in our specialties."

"And why would I even bother with this trivia for you two?" Dotsuku asked in an unamused tone.

"How about a piece of the grand prize if we win?" Dragon said with a smirk.

Dotsuku raised a brow before looking over the questionnaire. The Warrior of the Dog picked up at a nearby pen and started writing on the questionnaire. The twins gave each other a quick "Got'im" glance before turning their attention back on the Warrior of the Dog.

Once Dotsuku finished the questionnaire, he slid it back to the duo and said that he'll see them tomorrow before leaving.

Dragon and Snake quickly looked over at the questionnaire that they had carefully constructed in order to pull personal information from the Warrior of the Dog subliminally. When they read the sheet, they realized that Dotsuku answered the bare minimum of their questions and somehow avoided leaving personal preferences. At the end of the questionnaire, the Warrior of the Dog wrote: "Not falling for this stupid crap Tweedledee and Tweedledum."

The Twins looked at each other. How'd Dotsuku know what they were trying to do?

~}i{ Usagi's Turn }i{~

Ummm... Long story short, Usagi forgot about questioning Dotsuku when the two raided a lab with a lot of animal test subjects. Lots of cute, innocent, little bunnies that needed new loving homes.

Yeah, to say Usagi forgot about the questioning was an understatement...

~}i{ Next Day }i{~

Niwatori and Inounoshishi were frustrated. They had no information for their surprised birthday party. Usagi, meanwhile, was making new bunny homes for his new 'Little Friends'.

"Hey, hey, chill out," Dragon stated as he lounged on the couch before adding, "So we didn't get any info yesterday, we can always try again today."

Snake was lounging on the opposite end of the couch when he said, "Yeah, we just need to be a little more subtle about our information gathering."

Niwatori's feathers ruffled when she said, "Well, we gotta get the information fast! The birthdate is coming up and we need to get started!"

"Started on what?"

Everyone but Usagi froze and slowly turned towards the doorway to see Dotsuku standing there.

"Started on... Our preparations for our next mission!" Niwatori cheerfully made up on the spot.

Dotsuku raised a brow in a way that showed that he didn't really believe what the Chicken Warrior was saying.

Snake twisted his body to get a bit more comfortable and asked the Warrior of the Dog, "So what'cha doing here Puppy?"

Dotsuku casually glanced at Usagi and said, "I was looking for some of my tools that have gone missing." The Warrior of the Rabbit gave the Dog Warrior a silly grin. Dotsuku then said, "We can't keep all those rabbits, and need I remind you that you're already over the pet limit." Usagi whined and said that he was already started making huts for them. Dotsuku rolled his eyes before saying, "Then you can give them to the ones that are going to their new homes, I'm sure their new caretakers will appreciate it."

This cheered Usagi up right away.

Dotsuku turned to leave before saying, "Just make sure you return the tools to me when you're done with them, alright Usagi." The Rabbit Warrior nodded happily. The Dog Warrior glanced at the others and said, "And good luck on your "Mission Prep", and don't go overboard." He then left.

... That was close...

~}i{ Later That Night }i{~

It was Dotsuku's turn to cook and he made pasta salad with red sauce and chicken for everyone.

"Yum, Dotsuku, what's the occasion?" Tora asked as she rubbed her full stomach with a satisfied smile.

Dotsuku shrugged and said, "No occasion, just felt like making this."

The 12 Warriors' dinner continued peacefully, until Niwatori, Inounoshi, and the Twins felt something in their guts churned uncomfortably. Ushii noticed this and asked, "Is something wrong? You four are looking a little pale."

They waved it off as nothing until it felt like a bomb exploded in their guts. Niwatori, Inounoshishi, Dragon and Snake then bolted out of the dining room shouting something along the line of "BATHROOM!!!"

Sharyū turned her attention to Dotsuku, who didn't seem all that bothered by the four's sudden departure, and asked, "Really Dotsuku-san? You put laxatives in their food?"

Dotsuku smirked and said, "You rather I'd use something more lethal? I wanted to teach them a lesson in meddling in others personal lives, I wasn't planning on killing them."

Sharyū frowned when Nezumi stated, "Let's just be thankful that we have our own personal bathrooms and have a nice quiet night tonight."

Hitsuji took a sip of his drink before saying, "I'll have to agree with Nezumi on that."

Usagi didn't quite understand what was going on, but for some reason, he felt like he was forgetting something...

"Oh, now I remember!" Usagi said out of nowhere, getting everyone's attention. The Warrior of the Rabbit turned towards Dotsuku and asked, "Niwatori is planning a surprise birthday party for you and wanted to know your personal preference to make it really special~."

Everyone just stared at Usagi with sweatdrops on their heads as Dotsuku said, "So that's what their pestering was about... Uhh, I'm not much of a party person, especially loud birthday parties..."

"Oh... Okay... Can we still have cake?" Usagi asked curiously.

Sharyū gave a small smile when she said, "Sure, I'll make the cake."

Dotsuku folded his arms when he said, "Cake's fine, but no candles or that 'happy birthday' song. I don't want to make this a big deal."

Tora pounced on Dotsuku from behind when she said cheerfully, "Aww~, come on~, it's your birthday~."

Dotsuku frowned when he said, "If you don't sing that stupid birthday song, I'll bring some of that sake you like." Tora quickly said, "Deal" without letting go of the Dog Warrior.

Nezumi took a drink of his water when he thought, 'Well, that actually worked out better than I thought. Then again, Niwatori, Inounoshishi, and the Twins made good pawns in this.'

~}i{ End }i{~

@juseki-taisen​

@jazminetoad​

[juseki-taisen]

Random Headcanon: Walking in High Heels

Inounoshishi

- Slays in heels, is that even a question? This woman could win a fist fight in three inch stilettos and look graceful doing it. 

- She probably was one of those unfortunate little girls that always had shoes that she could never scuff, and had a small heel to begin with. You know, the plastic kind that make you wanna die after 20 minutes as a kid

- Owns an ungodly amount of high heels. She does have some flats to rotate out for at home use, so she doesn’t shorten her achilles tendon from wearing high heels so much

- Will never admit her favorite shoes are actually a pair of Birkenstocks she keeps hidden in her room 

Dotsuku

- Is the kinda guy who says it’s “probably not that hard to walk in them”, then falls immediately (his pride is hurt, please don’t laugh at him (but do it anyway))

- Can only do his normal boots. Anything else and it’s over. RIP

- Immediately had more respect for people who wear high heels after trying them himself

- Thinks they’re stupid, whoever invented them should be punched.

- Has a small fear his daughter will someday want a pair and hurt herself. Only buys her comfortable shoes because of this

Niwatori

- Wears them when she has to, not her favorite thing. 

- Does really well in them, but probably couldn’t do cartwheels

- Flat and comfortable shoes are better

- Probably secretly complains about them after wearing them for to long

Sharyu

- Please don’t make her wear them. Please. She begs you

-Only can wear small heels for a short amount of time, has maybe ONE pair of wedges

- DAMN IT WHERE ARE HER BOOTS!?

- Will not wear them on anything other than flat even surfaces. No she will not go on the cobblestone. Barefoot it is.

Hitsujii

- Surprisingly okay in heels

- In his younger day he could probably stomach them, but as an odler man his friggin’ KNEES

- Loves sensible heels on women on special occasions

- The good gentleman who will never judge someone who would rather have flats at a fancy place instead of heels

- Pisses him off when you wear heels at weird times. 10/10 judging both Toshiko and Usagi for their choice in footwear while fighting

Uuma

- Let’s be real, this gentle giant would fall just trying to stand. 

- Might be okay in a wedge, but he already drank his respect juice and doesn’t need to be subjected to heels to admire everyone and anyone who wears them

- If he had to for some weird reason, band aids. Lots of band aids. He would fall and hurt all over himself

- He’s the kind of guy that if he’s dating someone that wears them, he’d always have flats in his car/on his person just in case.

Takeyasu

- Bro this dude is short and will hide it hell or high water ( 164 cm, about 5′ 3″)

- In canon he wears boots with a heel. Please don’t point it out, he’s sensitive and will set you on fire

- Probably found a pair as a kid and wore them to be taller than his brother, it lasted for five seconds before his brother decided to fly in the air, the jerk. 

- While he wears them on a regular basis, probably couldn’t do stilettos or a heel that’s really narrow. He’d roll his ankle. 

Nagayuki

- Also smol bean

- Not as reactionary about his height, but also wears boots to try and hide it a little. 

- He can fly bro, at any point he can MAKE himself higher than you. Fight him. 

- Would probably be okay wearing a narrow heel, but would fall on uneven surfaces

Usagi

- KING OF THE HIGH HEEL

- Never has bothered him to wear them, or at least he doesn’t let on to it. Catch him at the gym working out in them. Not only is her fitter than you, but he’s better coordinated

- Could walk a wire in the shoes, let’s be honest. He’s got skills

- Could walk in the most ridiculous shoes possible. 

Tora

- Does really well in heels

- Also more comfortable in a thick heel. She’s good, but not red bottom shoe good

- Also likes that it makes her taller. She’s about 5′. Let her have this. Please. 

- Comfort is a priority. She’d honestly ditch them if they hurt to bad. 

Ushii

- You’d think he’s be amazing but he’s more...okay ish?

- He can do it, but he’s gonna have blisters

- Don’t make him walk on the cobblestone. He can do it but he may stumble. Let him hold your arm. 

- But damn do his legs look good. May wear them for a short time, just to prove he can

Nezumi

- Already has a slight heel in canon

- Surprisingly good at this??? How???

-Hates it, burning passion hates it, but can do it.

-No one knows how but he’s a natural?

-Will still get blisters though, and complain the whole time 

[makeshiftvoiid]

yeah im funny </3

[juuni-taisen-confessions]

It’s more awesome in the manga xD