Not beta or proofread, btw. it's a shitpost
EDIT: AO3 LINK
Arthur was simply trying to take his natural human function and pee. He was staring off into space, letting the fluid flow out of him and into the bowl when he felt something touching his leg. Instinctively, he jolts, moving his body away.
He stops peeing and looks down. He spots a hand, a fair skinned scard hand reaching out to him. It was John, what in the hell does he want. Arthur bats the hand away and asks.
"What, John?"
"...Can you hold my hand." It sounded like more of a demand than a question.
Arthur blinks, looking at the stall wall that separates him and John.
"Are you serious?"
"Yes."
"Why."
"It's...scary and feels werid, I don't know how you humans dealt with having this fluid come out of you every day." John says and flexes his hand in a grabbing motion, like a baby wanting to get picked up.
John was like a needy cat, but he never liked doing things alone, including when it came to using the bathroom.
Arthur sighs and places his hand in John's, holding it snug.
"Better?"
"Much."
John says before Arthur hears a concerningly loud stream of piss hit the bowl.
He furrows his brows, "Just how long have you been holding that?"
John's pointer finger twitches, curling itself inward and scratches at the others palm.
"Since I got this body -" a lie.
John sheepishly admits, and Arthur aggressively squeezes his hand.
"What?! How the hell did you not piss on yourself—christ John it's been over a week."
John lets out a full-body shudder and tucks his feet under the toilet seat. His boots dig into the dirty tile floor.
"Okay - not really. The first time was a few days ago when it hurt too much to hold. I washed the clothes and succeeded." John spits out. It was more of a half truth when Oscar found him using fabric softener instead of actual detergent. Oscar actually helped clean and showed him how to wash the clothes properly.
John made(threatened)Oscar swear that he'd never speak a word of this.
"Am I going to have to fucking potty train you? Bloody hell John."
John lets out a werid, sad sound. Something between a dog like whimper and a sigh.
Arthur squeezes his hand once more, gently this time. "Well, it was probably bound to happen eventually. Just do your business and make sure you wipe yourself after." Just like his touch, the tone of Arthur's voice was soft. It reminded John of how he'd talk about Faroe.
John hums and stays silent, the sound of his piss hitting the water echo throughout the bathroom.
Arthur inturn also continues. Thankfully, there's not much left, so he finishes up quickly.
Awkwardly reaching across the stall with his opposite hand, he grabs a thing of toilet paper and rips a small peice off. He dabs the head of his dick with the paper before throwing it into the bowl and flushing.
He hears Johns flow turn into a tirckle before it stops completely. He stays on the toilet seat as he's still holding onto John's hand.
"You done?"
John nods, for a second forgetting thst Arthur can, in fact, not see him before he speaks up.
"I think so? I still feel weird, though..." He trails off. There's something pressing up against his asshole.
Arthur quirks a brow, "Werid how?"
"It feels like something is trying to escape me. There's pressure at my asshole."
Arthur stutters for a second, unable to form sentences in response. There is no way in fucking hell is he going to hold an eldritch entities hand as he shits.
"You're...going number two, taking shit."
"Oh.. Oh. Like that disgusting thing you did?"
"Yup. Now, I unfortunately am not generous enough to sit through this one with you. Just keep pushing until everything is out, John."
Arthur prys his hand away from John's, pulling his boxers and trousers up. Arthur buttons his trousers and fastens his belt.
"But Orthur... I can't do this alone." John whines, attempting to grab Arthur's trouser leg.
"You can, and you will. I'll be outside when you're done, John." Arthur moves away before John could grab him, opening the stall door he makes his way to the sink. He secretly prays that there's no one else coming in.
"Orthur! That's not fair. I need emotional support."
John kicks his feet out and leans back uncomfortably. The pressure is growing stronger.
Arthur begins to wash his hands, ignoring John's pleas and hums a tune.
"How about I send Noel in, hm? I'm sure he'd be more than willing." Arthur offers, John and Noel are close just like them, so it shouldn't be a problem. Hopefully.
John stops his movements, sharp canines bitting at his lips.
"Okay. That's fine. Please tell him to hurry."
Arthur huffs out a muffled laugh and steps out of the bathroom.
thank you to my platonic soulmates @arthur-lesters-tits & @arthur-lesters-slutty-waist for fuelling this. I appreciate you both greatly
