Alcohol, some say it's the root of the problem, yet Cersei found it to be the release. By twenty-one she had loved, and she had lost. Killed a dozen with her bare hands, and been the victim of a man with a temper. A man who had thought he mightown her. She had lost her mother as a girl, she had lost her twin a year after her own victory. Her father distanced himself until his death, and she existed in isolation. Until Robert. He'd been wealthy, somehow having avoided ever being reaped, though in her mind -- he had been the perfect candidate. A l a r g e target.
The past six years had been a whirlwind, living the past four at the Capitol, after all, she was a gloried victor. Yet with all the things she was supposed to have won, she found herself with truly nothing. Nothing except a bottle and an empty bed. It wasn't her intention, but when the older man had joined her she'd shared her wine. He understood, he was a victor. A few years her senior, a few more years of this lying parade under his belt. The alcohol flowed freely, and for once she laughed. She told him how she dyed her hair because she loathed to look in the mirror and see her twin, to see the similarities to the family now all dead, she told him she hated being alone, yet it was the only thing she was good at.
Worst of all she shared - how it hadn't bothered her that she had found herself to be a killer, she had known it all along. Unsaid -- but thought -- she knew she was different. There was a blood lust in her that would be satisfied with nothing except victory. Yet what had she won this time? It was the infuriating impotence that angered her now, yet beneath it all was a self loathing she couldn't quite explain. If she in fact --- even understood it. No longer did Snow have anything to hold over her, except herself. Robert had been proof of that. She wasn't ignorant to the fact she'd so carefully been introduced to him, or how she had so carefully run into him so many times, and for that? For that she was angry. No man had the right to touch her like that without her will, no man might ever act as if he owned her. No man could own her, she was free. Yet still the Capitol found ways to slowly take what little she truly had away.
Sitting there she glanced towards him, a smile came to her lips, more genuine than had shown for years. This was not the smile of a victor, a divorcee -- or a Lannister. This was outright enjoyment, having found comfort and laughter in his company. And so when her head rested against his shoulder as she found herself wearied, it felt natural. Though , staring at the empty bottles --- at this point almost anything would feel natural, any man might smell like home, any glimmer in his eyes would feel welcoming.
" Come with me --- tonight, it'll be fun.
I've got plenty more in my rooms, and
it's better than anything you've been
drinking, you must admit. "
Coyness entered dark green eyes as she reached for his hand, giving it the faintest of tugs. She knew she was an alluring woman, the hair curling around her face, her touch demanding yet easily pulled away from, but really -- what man would truly deny her what she wanted? Especially when such an offer went oh so many ways.
