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Interlude_Dream, reality, pt. 1

✿ Sypnosis: I'm dreaming with someone I don’t know, yet I remember him when I wake up. How could that be possible? ✿ Pairing: Female reader x Jungkook ✿ Genre: Romance, fluff ✿ AU: Artsy and bohemian life ✿ Warnings: a bit of cursing ✿ Word count: 3,6k

The bright sky was dimming with the entry of darkness, while the moon finally positioned itself in the middle of it. My body touches the cold sheets of my bed, approaching the warm torso of the boy who also inhabits it. His arms surround me almost as soon as our skins make contact and, sighing on the top of my head, he whispers a goodnight minutes before falling into a deep sleep. Seconds later, my eyelids slowly close because of the silence of the room.

My mind begins to wander through vague images without colors or backgrounds; one after the other before the twilight. A glowing face suddenly appears in my vision. He seemed so real. For a minute I thought that if I reached out to touch his features, it would feel as real as he looked.

A heat flows through my body from top to the bottom and, beyond being uncomfortable, it was something as comforting as the sunlight and the breeze hitting my face after endless months of winter.

The warm wind hit my face while the rays of light embraced me equally as the boy behind my back. You could only hear the waves of the sea hitting the rocks, the birds chirping and some long distant conversations and laughs.

I would like to stay here, at this exact moment forever cuz I’ve never felt this peaceful in my entire life.

"How about we stay here forever?" I asked, looking at him behind my shoulder.

"You mean in this hotel room?" He answered after letting out a small laugh.

"No, silly." I turned around to face him, without breaking the hug. “I mean living in front of the sea. What if-?” I said excitedly before stopping abruptly after averting my gaze from his.

I was afraid that what I was going to propose to him would be so crazy that he would decide to take a different path than mine. I see how his eyebrows furrow a little at my interruption. I knew he was taking his time to process my question.

“What if…? What were you going to say, Haewon?”

"How about we quit our horrible jobs and come live on the beach?" I decided to finish my question after his insistence. “Imagine you and I walking on the sand while holding hands or cooking together with a view of the sea or…”

"Yes," he cut me off before I could finish my crazy proposal.

“What did you just say?” The surprise hit me, not fitting in my whole body, not believing his quick response, which didn't even take him a second to say yes.

"I said yes," he laughs before planting a kiss on the top of my head.

I looked at his bunny-like teeth and his eyes shone. He had something that until today I could not fully interpret, however, with him I felt so safe and so happy that he managed to make all my misfortunes and sadness go away. They vanish just seeing him smile.

My eyes snap open, getting up from the bed on an impulse. It was already a routine waking up so suddenly with my heart racing like crazy and feeling shivers throughout my body, even if the blankets covered me from the wind from outside, long lines of sweat slowly ran down the sides of my face.

It felt strange to dream of him. I didn't know who he was or where I could've seen him. Maybe it was just my mind remembering ephemeral faces that I’ve seen endless times on the streets of Seoul.

I sat on the mattress, taking care not to wake up Taehyung who was already snoring. I slowly get out of bed and I walk barefoot under the usual darkness of the night of our home until I reach the secluded room that is located on the ground floor of the apartment. Tae and I specifically designated that room as our shared art studio which we could decorate to our liking.

In one click I turn up the light switch, dazzling my eyes that were already accustomed to the previous darkness. Its walls were full of poorly made strokes and brushstrokes of different colors. I let out a breathy laugh when I remembered the many times Taehyung scolded me for my careless art, which I always justify as “it’s my aesthetic.”

I sit on the padded bench in front of the wooden table that Taehyung once helped me build. It was full of forgotten papers full of quick sketches, as well as small clay sculptures.

I grab my sketchbook and with my left hand I draw nimbly on the white paper. The graphite of the pencil draws lines non-stop that at first were almost meaningless, but little by little they were building something that I had kept in my memories for so many nights in a row. Just minutes after finishing the hasty sketch, I noticed the detail of the diffuse face in my life.

I hold with my wet hands a bit of clay that modifies with each touch. I mold the face that I portrayed on the paper and I start sculpting his cheeks, his round nose, his big doe eyes and his thin lips, creating the face I've only seen in dreams.

As the sculpture took shape, various feelings sank deep into my heart. I felt loneliness with a strange mixture of joy or maybe it was longing and melancholy, but how?

How could I miss a stranger?

. ✧ ☁︎ ° ☽ . ✦ ☁︎ ° ☾ . ✧ ☁︎ ° ☽ . ✦ ☁︎ ° ☾ . ✦ ☁︎ ° ☾ ✦ ☁︎ ° ☾ . ✦ ☁︎ ° ☾ .

Everything felt rare, it seemed that what I thought I was living was just a lucid dream.

Still sleepy, I move my hand over the empty space of my bed looking for Tae. I open my eyes when I don’t feel him by my side, then I cover my face with the pillow below my head and sigh. I didn't know if my exhaustion was because I was up till dawn or the accumulation of all the feelings I felt the past day drained the energy I had left.

I get out of the comfort the bed offers me to look for Tae-Tae. I walk through the corridors of the upper floor (where only the master room could be found) and I go down the stairs that lead me to the first floor. When my boyfriend asked me to go and live with him in this huge apartment, I resided in a rented room so narrow that there was any space to walk.

My legs led me towards the kitchen thinking that I could find him there, but I was wrong. I look around the apartment, feeling once again the void inside of me. I walk to the studio seeing him right away.

His face was immersed in questions. As a naturally curious person, he would feel attracted to any new thing, including the head of clay of that stranger. I lean onto the door frame, glaring deeply at his reactions. His hands were holding a steaming cup of hot chocolate. Minutes passed and the man still hadn't noticed that I was looking at him.

I've known Taehyung for seven years, we’ve been together for about five and engaged for three years. When I look back it feels like yesterday, yet at the sametime it feels like a lifetime. We met on our first day of college cuz we both studied Fine Arts at the Korea National University of Arts. When I met him, I was crushing hard on him, but never told him that until the day we got together cuz I couldn’t express my feelings properly. Naturally, he was the one who got closer to me. Since then, I always loved his passion about the things he does, as well as his enormous talent and his peculiar way of expressing when he’s around people, in such a leisurely and calm way.

Nowadays he’s the one who inspires me to continue with my art when I want to surrender with this. He’s always been there for me. Thanks to him, I’ve had enough strength and courage to keep on doing what I love to do since I felt pressured not to fail because most of the time I found myself being forced to put aside everything I’ve done for others.

"What are you thinking about, Tae-Tae?" I break the silence once I approach him.

Tae is surprised to see me up at this hour, but his features quickly soften once we make eye contact.

"Hey, I didn't see you there, honey," he gives me a warm smile as he pulls his body closer to mine to hug me. He puts one arm on my shoulder, still looking at the sculpture.

“Did you like it?” I glare at his expression, still immersed in questions.

I approach the table where the finished sculpture is, looking for any imperfections due to the pressure Tae made me feel in that moment. I knew the level of detail of his work and how critical he is with the art he sees, I thought it could mean one thing.

"Hm?" He directs his gaze once more to my swollen face. “Nothing bad, I was thinking about how well the sculpture turned out. All the details are so meticulously done that it makes the face and expression look so real. Were you inspired by someone you saw? Because you really did a surprisingly realistic job.”

My eyes widen a little at his words. As I had already mentioned, I am a bit careless with my work so it made me feel astonished with his words. I embrace myself looking for warmth after the sudden feeling of a cold rush through my body.

"Do you really think so?" I ask looking at him, he says a muted yes with his head. “Well, it's actually kind of confusing, you know? Lately I’ve been dreaming with this very particular face, but I can swear that I don't know him or I’ve seen him anywhere. This was the only way to ‘catharsis’ with my dreams.”

“You really took care of your strokes. Look,” he moves closer to the table, placing another sculpture almost the same size as the new one to one side. “The features of the new sculpture are more defined and clean, while the others are more rough and blunt, you managed to do something different from what you’re used to.”

I alternate my gaze between the sculpture and my boyfriend, obviously surprised by Tae's words because of him being such a critical person with the art he saw, I couldn't always enjoy good reviews from him.

The man leaves the room after telling me he’s gonna prepare breakfast, following him seconds later after looking again at the sculpture of the boy of my dreams.

. ✧ ☁︎ ° ☽ . ✦ ☁︎ ° ☾ . ✧ ☁︎ ° ☽ . ✦ ☁︎ ° ☾ . ✦ ☁︎ ° ☾ . ✦ ☁︎ ° ☾ . ✦ ☁︎ ° ☾ .

My forehead sweats slightly at the sudden presence of Tae’s parents at our house. They were smiling innocently at us, while carrying a bottle of wine and some desserts made by his mother. Apparently, it seemed a good idea to come by surprise without any kind of short notice.

Let’s say my reaction was not the best one and Taehyung noticed it, poking me discreetly with his elbow as a way of telling me to smile and greet them politely. He signals his parents to finally come into the house, closing the door afterwards.

"Honey, you haven't lost any weight, have you?" It's the first thing Tae's mother says to me when she sees me from head to toe.

“Hello, Mrs. Kim. It is nice seeing you too,” I mutter, giving her my best smile. I bow my head as a way of greeting her before receiving the plate from her hands.

As you can see, my relationship with my mother-in-law has never been good or the one that I wished for cuz, unlike my father-in-law, she always insisted on ruining my non-existent emotional stability with her uncomfortable opinions.

"_____!" Unlike the lady, Mr. Kim greets me with a warm hug. “How have you been? We haven't seen you in a while," he says, patting me on the back.

"I've been fine, what about you?" I say smiling.

“Fine, _____, although we could be better. You know, we’re getting closer to the afterlife," he says, scratching the back of his neck.

I share a laugh with him, feeling now relaxed with his jokes. He made himself look like a very old man who can barely walk, but the truth is they both remained so young in their 60s even if some gray hairs were visible.

"Mother, I would have preferred if you called me informing us you were coming. We could’ve arranged something for you," Tae says, placing one of his hands on my waist.

I look at his profile, searching for a bit of peace that he offers me in moments like this. I knew Tae was just as surprised as I was, since they always let us know when they’re visiting us beforehand. I glance around, noticing that the house was not fully organized. A drop of sweat travels my tense back.

"Why, Taehyung? We are your parents after all. We are welcome here, right?” Mrs. Kim looks directly at me, making me understand that her last words were for me.

“Of course you are, there is no doubt about that. Taehyung means that he would have preferred-” Tae's mom cuts me off before I can continue.

"I, more than anyone, know what my son prefers," she says walking past me and further into the apartment. “I see you didn't have time to organize the house well, dear. Is this how they always live?”

"Mother," Tae warns, looking carefully at his mom.

My insides boil while my throat hurts. I wish I could say something, but I knew that this would get me into trouble with Tae and his parents, so I rather swallow my words and continue pretending that nothing she's said so far has affected me at all.

Five years later and I still don't really understand why Tae's mom dislikes me. I had my assumptions, sure, but I would never be sure if it was just that. The first one was maybe she disliked the fact I’m older than Taehyung, something she’d already mentioned several times. Clearly making me feel uncomfortable.

Tae said nothing more than "mother" reluctantly. I knew he wouldn't dare saying anything else to stop her. I always wished for him to defend me because I felt so tired of this long term situation between us.

"Excuse me, I'll go fetch us some glasses for the wine," I express curtly before walking away from them.

When I reach the kitchen, I lean on the table to breathe and try to relax the tense muscles in my body. I breathe one, two, and three more times, swallowing back the tears that were about to overflow.

“Honey, are you ok?” Tae asks behind my back.

I was so tired of pretending nothing's wrong, that his mother's words don't affect me in any way. I was just sick of shutting up and pretending nothing ever happens.

“You know what? I am not, Tae.” I turn around to look at him. “I'm so tired of your mom acting the same way for years, for stepping on me, for humiliating me every chance she gets. I'm exhausted from swallowing my words and carrying on as if nothing had happened. You don't know how much it hurts that you don't defend me with her, it's the least I deserve! Don't you think?” I try my best not to raise my voice and to cry, yet I failed to hold back the tears.

“But she's still my mother, Haewon. I wouldn't be able to fight with her over something meaningless.”

“Meaningless you say?! I'm still your fucking fiancé, Taehyung!” I cover my mouth with my hand in a failed attempt to stifle a sob.

I try to once again ignore the stinging in my throat, even if I cannot stop feeling my heart pounding hard inside my chest. I take three breaths before speaking again.

“I'm not asking you to argue with your mom, I’m just asking you to have a little empathy with me to stop her whenever she makes me uncomfortable. You think it doesn't hurt? Of course it does and it annoys me a lot!” I ran my fingers through my hair, trying one again to calm down.

“_____… “ Tae tries to reach my hand, but I move it away as soon as possible.

"Leave it, Tae," I say, walking past him. I quickly wipe the trail of tears down my cheeks.

I reach four glasses from the cupboard and, once with them in my hands I leave the kitchen walking past my boyfriend without saying anything else. I put on a small grin once I’m in the living room where my parents-in-law already settled. I take my time placing them on the coffee table while Taehyung tried opening the bottle with the corkscrew that he must’ve picked up before following me outside. I sit on one of the individual chairs when I’m done, seeing Tae pours the crimson liquid.

I stayed silent, trying my best to hide my mixed emotions. It was evident that my body was still tense, while my attention was elsewhere beside the important conversation they were having. That was until it was drawn back by Mrs. Kim.

“Is everything okay?” She questions, exchanging gazes with her husband and son.

“Yes, everything’s okay,” Tae’s the only one capable of answering.

Once her mother takes a good look at us, she gives up and opens up a new topic of conversation. I divert my attention from the discussion, not really interfering with it. The other three people in the room kept talking about how time has passed so quickly and how my boyfriend's sister's marriage is coming up.

"When is the wedding of the two of you? Haven't set the date yet?” Tae's father asks suddenly.

My surroundings fell apart when I heard his question. The swallow I took of wine is thrown back down my throat, causing me to choke.

“Yah, Taeyang!” His wife takes it upon herself to scold her husband. “Don't even think about bringing that topic up now…” She says, looking at Tae carefully. “It's still too early to talk about the marriage between the two of them.”

"Early you say? They’ve been engaged for three, almost four years!” He replies while looking astonished at her.

The silence afterwards swims between us. However, unlike them, I took it as an opportunity to breathe.

“Okay, but…” Mrs. Kim speaks again.

“But nothing! It's about time you’re even thinking about giving us grandsons,” Mr. Kim says, slamming his wine glass down on the middle table.

I finish my first glass of red wine and without hesitating twice, I pour myself a second. When did we go from talking about marriage to procreating children?

"Have they talked about it yet?" Questions Mrs. Kim. Her expression distorts into one of terror as she finishes asking the question.

“No, mother. But it's something that’ll come, isn't it, honey?” Tae turns his face to see my reaction, but I avoid his gaze.

“I don't know, it's not something I've considered for now,” I let out my response in a weak whisper after finishing a third glass of wine.

“What?” He questions back, feeling the hint of disappointment in his voice.

I stare at my boyfriend in a null attempt to challenge him. “No, Taehuyng, I haven't thought about having a child and I don't even know if I’d like to!”

The four of us stayed in a silence that made me understand that no one, apart from Mrs. Kim, was expecting my answer. Having children has never been a topic that has crossed between us and I was satisfied with it because I have never been interested in procreating. However, now I see that Tae doesn't think the same as me.

"It's getting late and I'm kinda tired. If you'll excuse me, I'll go to sleep,” I respond once I get up from the chair. I say a silent goodbye with a 90° bow before leaving the living room.

Once again, I feel my heart pounding inside my chest with the obvious trembling in my hands, so I try to focus on taking deep breaths all the way into the room. Once there, my body reaches the bed by inertia, the softness of the sheets caresses the skin of my now naked legs. I hug them so tight looking for a loophole of tranquility in that moment of so much self-intimacy.

I look at the window with its curtains that remained open, allowing me to see the infinity of street lights still on. How many people are outside their homes? Among them, how many people will it be him? In the comfort of the silence that my room offers me, I think of that boy who crosses now and then my dreams. I remember his features and his pretty eyes. I cherish the feeling of warmth that hug gave me to erase the stinging that still persisted in my throat.

Burning, existing.

I cling to it, even knowing its null existence in my life. Who was he and why would I dream with that boy?

It hurt, in a certain way, to remember that dream because the feeling of emptiness I felt running through my veins in the morning was once again present. My heart burned.

I spend seconds, maybe minutes in complete silence reliving that dream over and over again, wanting more.

Wishing that I could see him again.

❊✿ ❊✿ ❊✿ ❊✿ ❊✿ ❊✿ ❊✿ ❊✿ ❊✿ ❊✿ ❊✿ ❊✿ ❊✿ ❊✿ ❊✿ ❊✿ ❊

OMG! I finally finished Interlude. I'm so happy it's finally seeing the light hahaha. It took me longer than I thought but I'm a perfectionist, so it had to be perfect.

I hope you enjoy reading this and, as you can see at the beginning, it is the first part of this series.

Before I leave, I want to thank @noshametempo for helping me always to edit all of my writings. I don't know how would I do it without u, girl.

Pls give love to it, leave a comment, a heart or share it with your friends. It'll help me out reaching for more people. Thank u and love u all♡

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