#valorant rant

[junos-library]

I fucking hate valorant…

*casually queues for another game*

[l-sincline]

I gotta rant for a second because usually my annoyed thoughts leave my head after I’ve mulled them over for a day but this one stuck so now you have to hear it:

My least favorite part of the straight man Valorant fanbase is their absolute inability to think critically about the game in any way. The absolute obsession with individually sucking on all of small indie dev company Riot’s toes is astounding. Don’t like the new skin line? Well you’re an annoying prick who shouldn’t play Valorant. Don’t like the way something in the game is set up? Well you’re stupid and you shouldn’t play Valorant.

I bring this up specifically because a few nights ago I was in a team deathmatch and getting absolutely STOMPED. At the beginning of the game one person on our team said they were immortal 2, and two people on the other team said they were the same. I am peak Silver 2. My friend I was playing with is peak Bronze 2. Obviously we are not good enough to be playing against these people and we are having a bad time. I make an off handed, joking comment in all chat like ‘lol I love Valorant matchmaking it’s my favorite’ and all of these guy immediately jump to their guns to defend riot and how great they are and how I’m actually the problem and should just stop playing. GUYS. the riot dev is not watching you defend their game with many gameplay issues. You do not get a little riot gun buddy or a crisp high-five for pretending nothing is wrong with this game ever and yelling at people who point out its issues.

Anyways the argument they had was that since there was a silver 2 on their team (who also bottom fragged, by the way. I think I got two more kills than them and we both went negative) then it was balanced and there wasn’t any issue and I was stupid. Since it needs to be said: a balanced team is a team that is built with all relatively the same rank (a silver team could have bronze and gold in it, a bronze team could have iron and silver, you get the jist. One above one below) not with fucking god themselves and the little peasant boy that just had both his legs snapped in half and can’t walk. Riot needs better team building systems and needs to stop focusing all of that energy on competitive because some of us don’t like to sweat online for ten hours each day and would like to hop into a casual match without getting shit on by worlds best Reyna number forty seven.

[ffunkyspicyy]

valorant competitive rant

TLDR: I finally understood the definition of ‘ego-fragging duelist’ in one of my yesterday comp games. I need to rant, you don’t have to listen, but you can stick around.

agent select screen, I took Omen, my duo took KJ, and a random chose Gekko. So far so good, Player 4 and Player 5 were waiting till 1 second to instalock Jett and Reyna, no comms, no nothing. okay I guess? no heads-up on what you’re gonna play? nice.

it’s Pearl, we’re attacking. we got the site somehow (I’ll elaborate a bit later), only enemy KJ left alive, both our duelists died. I hear KJ, see her, whiff like I do sometimes. Jett immediately starts click-clacking his keyboard, “REP OMEN”, Reyna does the same thing. we won the round though, I dealt 120 on KJ and Gekko got the frag eventually.

Jett starts talking shit in voice chat, he speaks polish which I unfortunately don’t understand well, starts giving me shit not only for whiffing but also for not speaking polish. ok? sounds like a literal kid. I mute him and Reyna because they just straight up spam in text chat and give me shit for uhhh nothing, even though I’m playing my role, and I don’t see the point of listening to Jett whining because I don’t understand the language anyway.

now about us getting site control.

you know what our instalock duelists do?

Reyna, our 2nd and 3rd mass flash, lurks. sometimes he dies mid or another site, sometimes he gets frags. on attack. Reyna lurks. big brain moment.

what Jett does? anything but taking site. we stand B long waiting for her to dash, Gekko has flash ready for that, I have the smokes ready. but no, Jett just stands behind the pillar. so cute!

after we all die because defenders just pick us off while we wait for Jett to do something, he continues standing there. just chilling. then gets a pick or two, and dies. very impactful frags, good job, Jett.

now we’re on defence, finally! I wonder what our duelists do now?

can you guess?

both push out of site / mid / wherever they are, like they were supposed to on attack, get a kill or two, and die. the impact of these duelists is just... amazing. 

in the meantime, enemy Neon is taking space amazingly: she absilutely destroys our team and knows how to push site properly. I was so upset with our shitty duelists that I honestly was cheering for the enemy team at this point.

I don’t have good and consistent aim, that’s exactly why I intentionally play support roles: more often initiator or controller. I can clutch if needed, but I struggle with reaction time and hitting my shots. and during this game I finally understood the definition of ego-fragging, too bad that it cost me a loss. but whatever, I’m glad these two kids had a bad game and now are wondering “WhY Did I LoSE mY KD waS ALmoSt 2 🤡🤡🤡 ”

and I bet they’re blaming me for the loss, even though I played my role exactly like I’m supposed to. what can you do lmao

[ariaterramoon]

Only playing one agent really be making you miss out on the other agents.

I played Gekko and this man is so funny lmao He has a lot more lines in Spanish than Reyna does, and every single one of them is precious xD

No chilles — Don't cry about it, you whiny baby

ALSO DIZZY IS SO ADORABLE

I love her little head nod every time you equip her haha, so adorable

It's really my kind of humour so now I gotta squeeze him in.

Play other agents yall, some of em are mad funny.

[ariaterramoon]

.... I think it's time to create my self-insert Valorant oc.

This is all I have for now: she is Viper's assistant and admires her so much

I got inspired by the day in the life of the agents that Riot did for all the agents aksjsks