💋💋💋💋 ( gimme the phainon / haru rnneeoowww )
the night is so dark, save for the light of the moon, shining brightly above. a rain of fireworks goes off above you, cheers are heard all around you, and you smile. it's new year's day. your grey eyes risk a soft glance at the man beside you, a sweetness coming over your features as he's bathed in the colorful lights showering down from the sky. the smile on his face is like a flame, always warming you no matter the circumstance. you two had been dancing for a while now — even before the moment you'd shared at christmas. your gaze drops from his face to his hands, one of your own reaching out to gently lock a couple fingers in intent. when your eyes meet again, a shy smile pulls at the corner of your mouth. you can feel your heart pounding in your chest as you bravely lean forward, pressing your lips to his. your hand shifts to lock properly with his own, the other coming up to cup his cheek. your smile grows. happy new year, you chime beneath the boom of the fireworks. you wonder if he can even hear you.
a purr rises from within you as you stretch your limbs, body still fresh from sleep, before entangling yourself in him. arms wrap around him, one hand threading into his hair while the other strokes the feathers of his wing. his warmth was in full as the first traces of his light peek above the horizon, filtering through the trees and shining gold upon your nest. you hook one leg up and around him, planting slow, purposeful kisses against his clavicle — you don't want him to leave. your kisses trail up his neck, a hum passing your lips at the pulse of him, before reaching his jaw. you press closer, chest to chest, as you ask if he has to go — the answer always the same. you pause for a moment, a disappointed whine sitting on your tongue as your feline ears flatten. you nuzzle into the crook of his neck, holding him tighter; this was your least favorite part of every day. slowly, still groggy with sleep, you shift to straddle atop him, reaching out to gently wrap your hands around his wrists. you steadily push his arms above his head as you lean forward, sensually molding your lips to his own. stay, you murmur between breaths. stay, stay, stay. but you know he has to go — you are only prolonging the inevitable. you release his wrists in favor of cupping his face, one last, deep kiss shared between you before you retreat. tonight then, you make him promise. and tomorrow night, and the next night too. the vine of snowbells glows softly on your ring finger as he vanishes into the morning light.
it was cold, the rain having chilled you near to the bone by the time the pair of you had found a place to stop for cover. you don't know who used to live in this shack, but it looked like it had been abandoned for a long while. the shawl you'd used to cover yourself was soaked, but it felt no better to toss it aside — no, the only thing that had managed to alleviate the iciness of your skin was him, laying there with you. you could tell he was just as nervous as you were, you can feel his heart pounding. could he feel yours as well? you still didn't know quite what it was between you, what drove you to act so foolishly around him — or perhaps you did know, but refused to acknowledge it. allowing your retainer to convince you to dress a certain way to garner his attention, always wanting to spend time alone with him... trusting him to help you run away. there is a heat to your cheeks that fights against the sting of the cold, and you huddle closer to him beneath the fur blankets. your heart feels like it's in your throat as you shift, turning in the bed to face him. there is an uncertainty to your expression; something in you hopes to find an answer in his gaze, despite not even knowing what question you're trying to ask. you whisper his name as you ease in, your lips barely brushing against his, before you hear your own name called in the night; your retainer is looking for you. you exhale a shaky breath, face completely red as you quickly withdraw, immediately sliding out of bed only to be struck by the cold. you'd just given a knight your first kiss. you can scarcely believe it, unable to face the other for fear of his reaction. you hadn't even asked him. you do everything you can to steady yourself as your retainer approaches the door, though you can't seem to bring your gaze away from your feet. your first kiss... the shame you are meant to feel, the embarrassment. but somewhere deep in your heart, there is a joyful sense of relief.
you hope every time that he'll change his mind — that he'll join you and the troupe on your journey across the world. but every time, he stays. he has his own duties here, he has others he needs to be here for. it's funny, when did you become so selfish with him? it was as if every time you were separated, your need grew. like a pull in your heart, in your blood — something in you could feel him no matter how far apart you were. it's what keeps you pressed forehead to forehead like this at the dock, awaiting the final call to board the ship back to the mainland. your fingers are interwoven with his as you sit there, eyes shut, breathing him in. the shards pulse warmly in your chest pocket, almost feeling like a shared heartbeat in the little space between you. you squeeze his hands, biting back your emotion as a lump begins to form in your throat; you were so sick of leaving him. you want so badly to stay, to run off together. find some place outside the city, in the snowy woods. a house... a home. days tending a garden and evenings by the fire. a child, maybe two. three. a life... something outside of anything you'd ever known. something so mortal, so human. grey hairs and wrinkly skin, hand in hand when it was time to sleep... time to go. you want to believe so desperately that you will be free after one more trip... just one more. one more, and you'll come back. you'll meet him right here on this dock, and you'll tell him. you'll meet him right here, and finally give him everything. you hear the bell sound and the captain's voice shouting behind you; it was time to go. your eyes squeeze shut as you choke back a cry — you didn't want him to see you like this, with tears pricking at your eyes. not before saying goodbye. your hands are still tightly squeezing his own, before suddenly you drop them, flinging your arms around him to bring him in for a strong embrace. your head tilts as you plant a firm, loving kiss against his mouth, then another, and another, before pulling back just as quickly. you turn away, making your way up the steps to board the ship; if you look back now, you'll abandon your journey. you'll throw it all away. but you have to remain strong for just a little while longer. the ship begins to move, and you press your fingers to your lips. you can't help turning back to see him one last time. your eyes sting. you don't know that that was the last kiss you would ever share.
