so whenever the sept-nov period rolls around again i suddenly remember how i'll never actually know what the swoon of the vampire bite that anne rice wrote about feels like...
âHeâs a devout believer in the church of Remmick,â OâConnell explains. âIt was just finding conviction in that and offering that to his victims as something that theyâre going to benefit from...Above all things, in Remmickâs mind, heâs the protagonist of that story.â-Jack O'Connell.
Greetings stranger ! It is October first today and you know what that means ?
wlw vampire movie tier list !!
Ok so first of all : this is a non exhaustive list. I might add to it every once in a while, but I think I still got the "main" ones here. Second : fair warning, most of these were directed by men and a vast majority got a bad case of what one might call the male gaze. If this is something you canât ignore to still have fun watching, thatâs very understandable have a nice day <3
But without further ado, let me pitch them to you without spoilers :)) and happy spooky season !
Daughters of Darkness (1971), directed by Harry KĂŒmel
Perfect movie of the genre ! Itâs pretty, itâs peculiar, great ending, I've yapped about it before and will probably do so again-
The Hunger (1983), directed by Tony Scott
Most bisexual movie of all time- whatâs not to love in a movie about Catherine Deneuve dumping David Bowie's ass for Susan Sarandon
Irma Vep (1996), directed by Olivier Assayas
Ok I am stretching the definition of the "vampire movie" quite a bit here, and I'll admit itâs because I'm biased and love this one- but the title is an anagram of vampire, and itâs about the remake of "les vampires", a series of ten 1917 films about irma vep, a thief in a bat costume.... so idc it counts ! Even though there is no real vampire and itâs not a horror movie- unless you're scared shitless of french people
Coming out (2000), directed by Kim jee-woon
Damn I really like the charming goofy fake homemade documentary about lesbians sucking blood what a surprise- Banger ending btw !
Alucarda (1977), directed by Juan LĂłpez Moctezuma
I donât even know where to start with this one- itâs doing *so much* with what I can only assume is a pretty tight budget. Cute lesbians, troglodyte nuns and fuck Catholicism :D
The Blood Spattered Bride (1972), directed by Vicente Aranda
Such a strange horror movie that I love dearly ! With scenes that truly disturbed me, as well as some really funny shit (shoutout to how the vampire enters this movie, no one is doing it like her what a freak) Definitely check the content warnings for this one, but I canât recommend it enough (also it has scenes with pretty intense flashing lights, so beware if you're epileptic)
Emotion (1966), directed by Nobuhiko Obayashi
Not that much yuri here, but itâs such a fun short film ! Made by the guy who ten years later would make "house" 1977 and itâs very much in the same style :)) whimsical ass cinema made on a low budget with his friends
Vampyre Lesbos (1971), directed by JesĂșs Franco
Nadine, I would do anything for you- just let me live in your sexy sexy house by the sea, with the gorgeous red dripping ceiling- Nadine please one chance fjfjdk
The Vampire Lovers (1970), directed by Roy Ward Baker
There is something fascinating about watching a deeply christian movie doing lesbian romance/erotica because itâs made by the Hammer in the 70s and they were *desperate* fjfkf of course Ingrid Pitt slays the house down what else did you expect (and Peter Cushing is here !)
The Shiver of the vampires (1971), directed by Jean Rollin
Bisexual woman marries the prettiest man in town before visiting her fruity uncles ! 70s men fashion my beloved, every single entrance of the vampire lady is iconic, I'm afraid Jean Rollin was cooking with this one. It should have ended 3 minutes sooner tho- everything beyond the hug is just no-
Fascination (1979), directed by Jean Rollin
Top ten man who makes me wants to barf, not helped by the *terrible* acting. But sometimes, for some flitting moments, the sauce is here
Crypt of the vampire (1964), directed by Camillo Mastrocinque
Hey Christopher Lee is here ! And not playing the vampire how novel ! I really like the main actress, and there are some little romance scenes with her *good friend* that are quite cute. Pretty middle of the road but enjoyable none the less :)
Another very bisexual movie, pretty average experience this time tho. A bit boring, and idk where they found these men but they do kiss weird style I'm afraid fjfjdj
Blood and Roses (1960), directed by Roger Vadim
Ok so a pretty boring movie BUT !! There is a dream sequence near the end, itâs shot in a gorgeous black and white with little pops of red, itâs so strikingly beautiful and inventive- truly the only scene worth watching from this
The Mark of Lilith (1986), directed by Bruna Fionda, Polly Gladwin and Zach Mack-Nataf
This one has so much good intentions- itâs message is really on point, and I respect the arguments against the genre of vampire movies and itâs views of women it's presenting..... but I'm sorry it's so very *dry*- I donât mind a very amateur look or lack of budget, but they should have chosen between fiction and point blank telling your point to camera.... both have merits, but together they drag each others down
Dracula's Daughter (1936), directed by Lambert Hillyer
Admittedly I have seen it quite a while ago, but all I can remember is how punishingly boring it was- I could be wrong tho ! I know it is beloved by many
Red Lips (1995), directed by Donald Farmer
Ladies, if your vampire goth gf killed someone... would you get rid of the body for her ? You've met her yesterday. Sick ass movie poster, too bad this gets pretty repetitive fast, with some very cringy erotica scenes. The main actress has charisma tho ! But I wouldnât recommend this one fjfjfk
The Velvet Vampire (1971), directed by Stephanie Rothman
Look, do I feel good having put both movies directed by women near the bottom ? No. But I must stay true to myself and say that this one pissed me off fjfkdk itâs a vampire in a desert ! How fun of a premise ! Why is it this boring, with this little lesbianism and kinda racist- the short dream sequences and funny chase scene at the end wonât save it from this spot sorry :/
Valerie and her week of wonders (1970), directed by Jaromil jireĆĄ
Don't get me wrong, this is a drop dead gorgeous movie. Visually it's doing *so much*, the costumes and charadesigns are incredible (the vampires especially, like the old bald guy in a triangular black cape with three hands one for the fan one for the little white dog and one with a limp wrist- no notes), it's shot very well... All in all it's a very pretty movie, with a dreamlike logic I've rarely seen done so well. Could have easily been a 5 star movie....... too bad it's made by a bunch of fucking pedophiles. And it's not debatable here, the main character is a 13 year old who is getting abused and taken advantage of by adults (sometimes members of her own family), which is mostly shown in a positive light by the movie... But most damning of all the actress was actually 13 herself. It's inexcusable, it's disgusting, wish I knew this before watching it because I sure would have not had I known. Would have been a great movie without the child nudity, positive incest and the weird racist bit
