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my girls 😭😭😭 i love them so much actually

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i've always found it interesting how differently van and jackie cope with the fact that rescue isn't coming, since i think this struggle is central to both of their character arcs.

van is the first to openly give up hope of rescue. she is the first to become some kind of sacrifice, when jackie leaves her in the plane to save shauna. but even pre-crash van had to depend on herself. the short scene of her homelife makes it clear that noone in her family is really looking out for her. even before the crash van knows that noone is coming to save her.

jackie in contrast is one of the last people to accept that rescue isn't coming. even as the situation gets worse, she tries to deny the reality of it and puts on a forcibly optimistic stance (e.g. telling shauna the worst is behind them or organizing the seance). i don't think she truely believes in it, it seems more like a way to hold onto any possible comfort. we see her doing the same thing pre-crash after allie's injury, which even then is unsuccessful. in the wilderness, where they're regularly confronted with way worse situations, it gets even more difficult to put a positive spin on eveything. jackie's failure to accept and adapt to this inevitably leads to her loss of influence.

both van and jackie start struggling with their original stances as things get worse. after several near death experiences, van is desperate to believe something or someone is out there, looking out for her. meanwhile, we see jackie's illusion finally starting to crumble as she finds out about shauna's betrayal. as van enters the cult, jackie spirals more and more into nihilism.

but jackie's new philosophy is just as forced as her last one. she and van are both trying to adapt their mindsets to the situation, but it's not really fitting either of them. jackie acts like nothing matters to her, but still hopes for an apology. in her last moments she wishes shauna would save her. i honestly think she went outside still expecting someone would come. she might have been depressed, but deep-down she still believed in rescue. van tries to believe in a higher power, but after the death of shauna's baby we see her starting to doubt that there is actually a bigger reason for it all. while questioning her role in the wilderness, she realizes again that noone is coming to save them. at the end of season 2 it seems like van has become very cold. her remorseless particpation in the hunt and the cannibalizing of javi are in shocking contrast to her previously silly and joyful nature. but as someone who always had to depend on herself she's willing to do what has to be done, because she knows that noone else is going to do it for them. her refusal to feel guilty about that doesn't mean she actually thinks it's right, it's part of her surival. she won't let herself drown in guilt (like nat) but she'll also never forget (like tai or shauna).